Atton's Motivation
by Silvershadow667
Summary: Sequel to Atton's Redemption: 16 months after the Exile left, Atton starts wondering what happened to her... and if she's even still alive. July 30: Chapter 26 added
1. Bender

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters depicted in this story... they are property of LucasArts, Obsidian Entertainment, and BioWare Corp.

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_This is meant as a sequel to my first story,_ Atton's Redemption_. If you haven't read it, it might be a good idea to do so, as I will make reference to it throughout this story._

**Chapter 1 – Bender**

"Juma juice… and keep 'em coming."

The bartender nodded hurriedly as he set two drinks down on the counter. He had started pouring them as soon as he saw the familiar figure walk through the door of the Nar Shaddaa cantina. _Yeah, I guess I don't know why I bother ordering anymore… I've been here every night, ordering the exact same thing, in the exact same way for the past two months. I've probably given the man enough credits to buy a brand new speeder by now. So of_ course_ he's gonna know what I'm ordering the minute I walk through the door. I bet all those Jedi would be pretty horrified to know that some scruffy guy wearing a Jedi robe and carrying a lightsaber comes here and gets drunk e-ve-ry night. Assuming they still care about their image… not that many of them left to go around anymore. Maybe they just don't care anymore… like me._

As per his usual habit, Atton downed his two drinks back-to-back, then signaled for a third one. He settled into his seat a bit more comfortably and sighed. _Can't believe it's been over four months… _He still remembered where he was when he last sensed her. He had been on Telos, helping the Ithorians with the restoration. He had been standing in the vivarium, discussing with Chodo Habat which plants should be transported to the surface next, and he had felt her presence a little more strongly than usual. He had smiled. It had been a year since she was gone, but he could still feel her warmth, her presence, her love through their bond. And it was what kept him going – knowing that she was safe, knowing that she too was working for her redemption, as he was for his. And then the feeling was gone – there one moment, gone the next. For the first time in a year, he felt completely alone. At first, he had thought that perhaps she had just been shielding her mind, to protect herself from some immediate danger. He kept expecting the presence to return. _Any minute now…_ he had thought. But minutes turned into hours, and hours into days, days into weeks… After a week, he had started to really worry. After two, he had basically given up. She was gone. Either she had died, or she had gone too far into the Unknown Regions. Either way, their bond was gone. He couldn't sense her anymore. And that was when he started drinking.

He had remained on Telos at first… still helped with the restoration efforts… Still doing his best to keep up his end of the bargain: he would remain behind and help the Republic while she went to the Unknown Regions, looking for Revan, to try and stop the war that was preparing. But that was when he still had a glimmer of hope. He kept it up for another six weeks. At that point, his heart was no longer in it. He became a hollow shell of a man. The one good thing he'd ever had in his life was gone… and he was starting to think he wasn't going to get it back. The first day he truly started to doubt whether she'd return as she had promised, he gave up. He hopped the next freighter to Nar Shaddaa and got lost in the crowd. He upgraded the pazaak deck he had bought on Telos off a Twi'lek who had run up a hefty gambling debt, by buying better cards as soon as he arrived on Nar Shaddaa – and he had started haunting the Pazaak Lounge again. He would play all day and earn enough credits to get drunk that night… and start over the next day. He admittedly didn't like his new deck of cards… thought they were unlucky. He didn't do half as well with them as he used to with his old cards. He had no choice – he had given her his side deck to hold onto before she left. Before _he_ left, rather, since he had decided to leave her before she left him, to make it easier on her… and to prevent himself for begging her one last time to take him with her.

Now he was second-guessing that decision. He started wondering whether he should have stayed longer. He didn't know exactly when she left – if it had been a day or a week after he did. It might have been worth it for him to stay a little while longer… to sleep next to her a few more nights, to feel her in his arms a few more times, to kiss her inviting lips… _all_ the time… and to hear her laugh. He knew deep down that what he missed most was hearing her laughter. He was starting to forget what it sounded like. It had been too long. He had been able to sense her presence, to feel her love, to even know her moods through their Force bond, but he couldn't hear her laugh.

He ran his hand up his cheek, and it made a scratching sound. He hadn't shaved in days. His face was getting itchy. He had lost his razor and didn't have enough credits to buy a new one. At least, he didn't today – not if he wanted to get drunk properly. And he did – more so than any other night.

He glanced down at his feet. His robe was getting tattered. He didn't care. He certainly no longer felt like a Jedi. He just didn't want to stop wearing it because it was all that connected him to her now. She had given him this robe when she started training him in the Force. He smiled sadly as he remembered that day. She had run off the ship on Dantooine because she had been upset over what he had told her about his past… about how he used to be with the Sith and was part of Revan's Jedi assassination squad. He had run off after her and had found her meditating by a stream. And she had forgiven him – forgiven him everything, including the fact that he had killed the only Jedi who had ever tried to save him. And then she had opened his mind to the Force and made him feel alive.

Atton took a sip from his fourth drink. Down three, sip the fourth – that was his routine. He straightened his robe over his lap. He smiled, thinking of the exact moment she had given him the robe. In the cargo hold of the _Ebon Hawk_… He had just finished crafting his lightsaber, his double hilt viridian lightsaber, which still hung loosely at his belt even though he no longer used it. She had dug through a footlocker in search of the perfect robe for him, and in the process had pulled out the sexy dancer's outfit she had worn to get in to see Vogga the Hutt while on Nar Shaddaa – when he wasn't around. He chuckled over the recollection. He hadn't been able to stop visualizing her wearing it. She had handed him the robe and ordered him to go put it on… and he had left immediately, desperately trying to conceal how aroused the mental images had made him.

He downed his fourth drink.

He was starting to get tipsy.

His thoughts jumped forward to the day he had gotten the ship stuck between two cliffs on Malachor V. He had sought her out on the ship and found her, crying, in the port side dormitory. It was the first time he'd seen her cry… but unfortunately not the last. He had held her and done his best to try and make her tears go away. And then he had kissed her – and she had kissed him back. Still kissing him, she'd then started to undress him and had led him to one of the beds…

He groaned.

He downed his fifth drink.

The room started getting blurry.

A woman walked in through the door. He normally wouldn't have paid any attention to such a mundane occurrence, but there was something odd about her. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, likely because of the amount of alcohol he had been drinking in such a short time. She sat down on the stool next to him. She smiled at him. Her black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She was pretty… at least he thought she might be, but he wasn't sure if she really was, or if it was just the alcohol talking. He gave her half a smile, and resumed staring at the counter and feeling sorry for himself.

"Juma juice. And keep 'em coming," the woman told the bartender.

Atton couldn't help but chuckle to himself. He turned and looked at the woman again. Yes, she was definitely pretty… but way too skinny. She looked like she had run into some hard living. Her fingers, drumming impatiently on the counter, were calloused, and her arms were scarred. Her left hand had a recent wound, which looked like it may have been caused by a blaster.

The bartender came back with her drink. Atton slapped down some credits on the counter. "This one's on me," he grumbled, slurring a little.

The woman turned to him and smiled again.

"Thank you," she said.

"Hey, no problem… always a good idea to be nice to pretty ladies who look like they can kick my ass. That way they might be less tempted to do so."

She laughed. "What makes you think I could kick your ass?"

She downed her drink and signaled the bartender for another one, this time putting credits on the counter before Atton had a chance to do so.

Atton pointed at her scars. "You don't get that from babysitting."

She laughed again. Atton reflected that he liked her laugh. She sounded so friendly, so… alive. The exact opposite of how he felt. And it reminded him a bit of the laugh he had been trying so hard to remember.

She downed her second drink.

_I'm surprised she's still sitting up… that stuff can hit you pretty hard when you're not a heavy drinker… and despite those scars, she still looks like a lightweight to me. She can't weigh any more than…_ He frowned. No matter what he did, no matter where he went, everything around him always ended up reminding him of her.

"So I have scars…" she said, grinning. "Still doesn't mean I could take on a Jedi."

"Jedi?" _Right. The robe. _"Well, I'm not much of a Jedi," he admitted.

"I guess not – can't say I've ever seen a Jedi drink quite this much before."

That line sounded familiar… Where had he heard it before? He had a vision of the Telos cantina, but who had said it?

"So if you're not a Jedi, why are you dressed like one?" she asked, gesturing for her third drink.

"I never said I wasn't," he replied, taking a large swig from his sixth drink. He peered down at his glass. _Maybe I should slow this down a little… I'm starting to feel pretty damn drunk._ He put his glass back down on the bar.

"Didn't you?"

"I said I wasn't _much_ of one. I _was_ a Jedi. I just haven't really… been one in a while."

"I didn't know you could stop being a Jedi."

Atton laughed. "Shows what you know! People stop being Jedi all the time. Sometimes they just go and get lost somewhere… Nar Shaddaa's a good place for that. It's a good place for anybody to get lost. Sometimes they're forced to stop being Jedi: exiled, kicked out of the Order." He unconsciously picked up his drink again and took another sip. "My… my master was an exile from the Order." _Yup, still sounds funny to call her that._

"But she was still your master anyway?"

_Did I say she was a 'she'? Must've… I'm so drunk I don't even know what I'm saying anymore._

"Yeah, she was…" He sighed. _And was she ever… Never met a woman who had me whipped as much as she did._

"Is she still exiled?"

Atton frowned slightly. "As far as I know… Doesn't really matter anyway – not much of an Order left. Besides, I…" he hesitated. "I'm not even sure if she's still alive."

"What makes you say that? You don't see her anymore?" She downed her third drink and started distractedly wiping the counter down with her napkin.

Atton winced slightly. "I haven't seen her in almost a year and a half… Until about four months ago, I was still able to sense her through our bond…"

"Bond?"

"We had… _have_ a Force bond. I could sometimes sense her emotions or thoughts or see things she saw when we were… together. Since she… left, she'd been using it as a way to keep in touch with me. To let me know she's all right. But four months ago, it just stopped suddenly." He dropped his head and stared moodily at his lap. _Why am I telling her all this? It's weird, she's just so… easy to talk to. Like she understands what I'm talking about. But how could she possibly?_ He lifted his head again and looked at her. "You know, in a tiny, tiny way, you remind me of her."

"How so?"

"Just your way… she was also easy to talk to… and actually paid attention to what I said. Nobody else ever did. Your laugh sounds a bit like hers, too. I miss her laughter the most," he added with wistful eyes.

"Sounds like you might have had a bit more going on than your typical master/padawan relationship. Don't Jedi frown on this type of thing?"

Atton shrugged. "She never cared much about that. She was already exiled anyway. Jedi are always spouting out weird cryptic nonsense, reciting their Jedi Code, and constantly warning us about the dangers of the Dark Side… I hate Jedi."

She laughed. "That's kind of an odd statement coming from a Jedi."

Atton rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well…" He shrugged. "Anyway, she was never like that. She was like… you. What did you say your name was, anyway?"

"I didn't. I'm Liah. Liah Stari."

"Atton Rand."

They shook hands. She smiled. "Well, I gotta admit, Atton, you look nothing like they said you would."

Atton blinked.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said you don't look anything like they said you would."

"Who?"

"Why, Jena and Carth, of course!"

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_Author's Notes:_ I hope you enjoyed the first chapter... Please feel free to let me know what you think! Feedback really helps me know if I'm headed in the right direction. :) I've been writing furiously for the past week or so, and it would be nice to know if what I've written... well... sucks. 


	2. Dark Lord of the Sith

**Chapter 2 – Dark Lord of the Sith**

"Revan?" blurted Atton, trying hard not to fall off his stool.

She laughed. "Oh, _now_ you remember me, Jaq?"

"I could say the same," grumbled Atton.

"Oh, I _remembered_ you, Jaq… I was just playing with you to see how long it would take you to recognize me."

"Hey, in my defense, it's not like the Dark Lord Revan ever took off her helmet in my lowly presence during the handful of times I was around her. And what's with the new name?"

"I could say the same," mimicked Revan. "Liah Stari is the name the Jedi Order gave me when they wiped my memory. What's _your_ excuse?"

"_My_ excuse is not wanting the Sith and _Lord Revan_ to be able to track me down once I deserted them. And might I add, so much for _that_ plan," he replied bitingly.

She shrugged, unperturbed by his tone. "Fair enough."

Atton pushed his still half-full glass away. He no longer was interested in drowning his sorrows in juma juice… not tonight – not when he had finally found someone who might give him some news about Jena.

"When did you come back, Revan?"

"Oh, not long… I only just got to Nar Shaddaa."

Atton stared. "But you went to Telos first, right? _Tell_ me you went to see Carth first."

Revan laughed. "Well, of course I did, Jaq… He'd have kicked my ass in a large way if I hadn't… and I'd have deserved it, too. Why do you care, though?"

Atton shrugged. "We're drinking buddies."

Revan eyed the pile of empty glasses Atton had been accumulating in front of him. She raised an eyebrow. "Drinking buddies, eh? Wow, you must've drunk him under the table more than once. I mean, I love the man, but he can't hold his liquor. But there's more to it though, isn't there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why were you so hell-bent on me going to see Carth first? Methinks you have an ulterior motive."

"It's not an ulterior motive… it's just that I _like_ to think that if Jena were to come back, she'd come see me first…"

"Ha! So I was right… there _is_ something going on between you two."

"Well, yeah… but she told you that already," stated Atton.

"Jena? No, never a word."

"Oh." The monosyllabic word was eloquent enough.

Revan laughed and patted him on the back. "I'm just teasing you, Jaq… You're making it way too easy… must be the booze. No, she mentioned you _all_ the time. To be quite honest, I was getting a little tired of it. That girl's crazy about you. Of course, it's not till I actually saw you that I realized her Atton was actually the Jaq I knew from way back in the day that we won't talk about."

"About that… I'd really rather go by Atton now."

Revan shrugged. "Suit yourself. Just don't hold it against me if I occasionally call you Jaq… old habits die hard… well, except for the Dark Lord evil stuff. _That's_ all behind me."

"Yeah, I heard… Carth had a few stories to tell me… like the one where you gave all your credits to some guy so he could pay off his debts. Not exactly the Revan I remember."

Revan flushed slightly. "Yes… well… that doesn't really count… I didn't even know I was Revan then… I didn't have any of my memory back."

Atton grew serious. "Revan…"

"Yeah, what?"

"Where's Jena?" he entreated.

Revan's smile faded slowly. She sighed. "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask that question… The truth is, I… don't know. We completely lost track of her about four months ago, and I have no idea where she is."

"So… right around the same time I lost touch with her too," he said dully.

"She's not dead," rapidly said Revan.

"How do you know?" he asked drearily.

She closed her eyes. "I just do… Look, we can talk about all this later… this is why I came here to see you. We're on our way to Coruscant."

"'_We_'?"

"You, me, Carth, Carth's son Dustil, and some other guy you don't know."

"Carth has a son?" asked Atton incredulously.

Revan stared at him. "You know, for drinking buddies, you guys don't seem to really know much about each other. He couldn't even tell me how to find you."

"We were drinking buddies. We weren't _dating_!"

"So what _did_ you talk about when you were drinking then?" she asked.

Atton scoffed. "You really want to know?"

"I never ask questions I don't want answered."

"All right… We talked about the only thing we really had in common: the fact we were both abandoned by female Jedi."

"Ouch."

Atton shrugged. "Hey, you asked."

Revan grinned. "I suppose I did."

"Anyway, what makes you think I'll follow you to Coruscant, _Lord Revan_?"

"Because you want to know what happened to Jena and you want to help her, _Jaq_." She paused and looked at him appraisingly. "By the way, you look like a big bag of bantha poodoo."

"How kind of you to notice," he quipped. "You're not so shabby yourself."

"No, seriously," asked Revan. "What happened? You never used to look this bad, Jaq. I actually thought you were kind of hot."

"Well, it's…" began Atton reticently.

Reading his body language, Revan interrupted. "Not because of… Jena?"

Atton remained silent and glanced away.

She shook her head. "Man… Please tell me Carth didn't look this bad because of me."

"No… Carth always looked cleaned up. Well, since I've known him, at least. I can't speak for the previous four years. You were gone for a _really_ long time, Revan," he added a little reproachfully.

"I know…" she said quietly, her gaze dropping. "If it makes you feel any better, she misses you a lot too."

"I was talking about you and Carth."

"No, you weren't. Anyway, so are you coming with us or not?"

"What, and leave all this?" he asked sarcastically, gesturing toward the various cantina drunks. "Well, if it'll help me figure out what happened to Jena, I'm willing to do anything."

Revan smiled. "That's more like it." She curled her lip. "And we'll give you a haircut, a shave and a shower, and _burn_ this robe."

"No, the robe stays," he said determinedly. Avoiding her gaze, he explained, "It's the only thing I have to remind me of her."

"All right, in that case, we will _wash_ it. Unless of course, you also have some emotional attachment to the crusty layer of dirt on it."

"No, _that's_ okay."

The got up, tossed a few more credits down on the counter and walked out. Atton was thrilled to discover that he had at least become sufficiently sober to be able to walk without falling over. _Which is a damn good thing, because I can't really see myself walking out of here hanging onto the arm of the Dark Lord of the Sith for balance. _As they left the Entertainment promenade, Revan turned to Atton. "I hope you like the _Ebon Hawk_."

"The _Ebon Hawk_? Oh absolutely… we've had some good times together… crashing on Dxun… crashing on Malachor V…"

"Just what in the hell have you been doing to my ship, Jaq?" she demanded, arching an eyebrow.

"_Your_ ship? Lady, that baby is a lot more _my_ ship than she is _your_ ship. Have you ever even touched her controls?"

"Well, I'm glad to hear you like flying it. You'll be able to give Carth a break. Just… not tonight," she added peering at him apprehensively. "I don't know if you always fly this drunk, but… Well, mind you, it _would_ explain the crashes..."

"What _is_ it with people always assuming that I was drunk just because I crashed a few times?" he retorted hotly.

Revan laughed. "Would you rather they said it was because you were a bad pilot?"

Atton turned red. "Hey, it's not _my_ fault we kept getting shot at. I was _not_ a bad…"

"Atton!"

Atton stopped dead in his tracks, recognizing the voice that had just called his name. _Please tell me this isn't him… Please tell me this isn't him…_ He turned around. A blonde man in his early to mid-twenties, clad in green Jedi robes smiled toothily at him.

"Mi…cal!" said Atton with a fake smile. _Wait. Why am I pretending to like him? I _never_ pretend to like him. _He deliberately broke his smile. "Well, I would say it's nice to see you, but then you know me and lying… What are you _doing_ here, exactly? I mean, I never really pictured Nar Shaddaa as being your type of place." _Part of the reason why I like it here…_

Mical's smile faded and he glared at Atton. _Now _that's_ more like what I'm used to…_ "Well, I came here with the Admiral and Liah."

"Liah? Who's Liah?" He stopped. "Oh… right… Revan…" Frowning, Atton turned quickly to her. "This is the guy I don't know?" he asked heatedly, gesturing angrily in Mical's direction.

Revan shrugged. "I didn't realize you knew each other."

Mical pursed his lips. "Quite like old times, isn't it Atton?" he said sarcastically. _When did you learn to become sarcastic?_ "You, me, the _Ebon Hawk_, saving Jena…" _Saving Jena?_

"Saving Jena?" Atton repeated out loud.

"Well, we can talk about that later," hurriedly interrupted Revan. "Let's just get going."

Mical shot Atton an uncomfortable half-smile, half-grimace and disappeared aboard the _Ebon Hawk_. Atton glared at Revan.

"You _knew_ we knew each other," he said accusingly.

"Of course! But would you have come along if I had told you he was there too?"

Atton glared at her. "You are a despicable woman," he snarled.

"That's why _all_ the boys love me, handsome!" she said, nudging him toward the ship.

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_Author's Notes_: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! I've gotten quite a bit written over the past week and a half, and the plot is starting to come together... I _think_ anyway. Hahaha! Hopefully down the line I won't start getting messages from people asking me if I'm chewing spice. ;) As always, your feedback is more than welcome! 

SS


	3. Memory Lane

**Chapter 3 – Memory Lane**

The minute Atton stepped aboard the _Ebon Hawk_, it was as though the hands of time had turned back sixteen months. "Déjà vu," he muttered to himself. He stopped and looked around in the main hold as Revan disappeared into the cockpit. _Well, this is definitely a place I never thought I'd see again…_ He ran his hand through his long, matted, dirty hair and words that Mira had told him after Malachor V came to mind. _"Do you ever bathe?"_ He laughed gently to himself. He had lost touch with Mira, probably the only real friend he had made aboard the _Ebon Hawk_ – other than Jena, of course. Friend, despite the fact they had openly hated each other from day one. But after Atton had carried the unconscious Jena back to the ship on Dantooine – after her meeting with Masters Vrook, Kavar, and Zez-Kai Ell went haywire – he and Mira had come to an understanding, and she had then become his biggest ally in his quest to earn Jena's favor.

But here he was, roughly a year and a half later, and he didn't even know where Mira was anymore. He felt a little sorry, for as much as he had feared what he originally mistook for insanity on her part, maybe even borderline psychosis, he had truly learned to appreciate her in the end. And when he had forced himself to leave Jena behind, she had been there for him. He recalled that morning when he showed up at the Citadel Station docking bay at six thirty in the morning, with tears streaming down his face. He finally admitted to himself almost a year and a half later that he had been crying, although he had long denied it. And Mira had not asked – she had immediately understood why he was there and why he was crying. She'd always been quick like that. She had sympathetically hugged him.

"You know you're doing the right thing, right?"

"Yeah, I know…"

It was the second time they had exchanged those very words. The first time was after Atton had told her he'd stay away from Jena, so he wouldn't distract her from her quest. Of course, that was _before_ he caught Jena crying in the port side room and unexpectedly found himself sharing a bed with her. _Yeah, after that, I didn't so much want to stay away from her…_

He smiled, and sighed. He and Mira had then boarded the freighter to Nar Shaddaa, and they had basically lost touch after that. He saw her a few times in the cantina – he had had to avoid the Pazaak Lounge, as he no longer had his side-deck with him and couldn't seem to find anyone to sell him a new one. But after about a week, he started thinking it was time for him to head back to Telos and start helping with the restoration efforts, as he had promised Jena he would. Plus he was about to run out of credits, and with no pazaak deck, had no way of earning them back. The last time he saw Mira was two nights before he left. He'd run into her at the cantina, as usual, and she had told him she was off to Kashyyyk. The words had reminded him of the comment she had made about being covered in Wookiee blood when she boarded the _Ebon Hawk_ on Malachor. She had then taken a step away from him, and had quickly turned around again, shocking the wits out of him by hugging him for the second time.

"I think she's left," she had informed him.

"Oh yeah? And how would you know that?"

She had patted the lightsaber hilt hanging off her belt. "Call it an instinct," she had said.

"Then how come I can't feel it?" he had asked. He had paused and closed his eyes. Mira was right. Jena had left. He had been too busy brooding to notice it… but right then, he could sense that her presence was a little fainter. She had definitely left – left without him.

Atton had sighed both in sorrow and relief. At least there was no turning back now. All week he had been struggling with the idea of going back to her… he hadn't even given her a chance to say goodbye! He had cowardly left while she was _sleeping_. Already, he was starting to forget what she looked like. He desperately yearned for her and longed to have something to remember her by, other than his robe. He knew he didn't really _need_ anything to remember her, but he thought it would be… nice to have something... something to help him remember her face – he had always been terrible with faces. At least she had the recorded message he had left her on T3. He had nothing – nothing but ghostly memories that came back to haunt him at the least opportune times.

Atton snapped out of his daze. Revan was gone, and he felt the rumble of the engines turning on. He felt uneasy being on the _Hawk_ while someone else was piloting. _It just isn't right._

He heard a voice behind him.

"Atton."

Atton rolled his eyes, turned around and looked at the stern figure standing outside the medical room door. _Yup… it's going to be _exactly_ like old times._ "What is it, Mical?"

"Forgive me for saying this, but… well, you look terrible."

"Thanks. I hadn't noticed."

Mical sneered. "No, I meant, worse than usual."

"That's cute, Mical. When the hell did you get so witty, anyway? Did you spend all day thinking up that joke?"

"You may want to use the facilities to get yourself cleaned up… You smell… horrible. There's also a razor in there for you to remove that… thing… you're cultivating on your face."

"You know, you're lucky I'm still drunk and not hungover, because I might not be so nice to you then."

Mical ignored his veiled threat. "You're a credit to Jedi everywhere. Jena would be _quite_ proud of you right now if she saw you, I'm sure," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, don't you start talking about Jena. Don't you _dare_ start talking about her!" he yelled. "Not if you don't want to end up on the wrong end of my lightsaber."

Mical scoffed. "Don't think you can intimidate me with your drunken threats. Can you even still _use_ your lightsaber, or is it mere decoration at this point?"

"Oh, I can use it, all right!" spat Atton, unsure of whether it was true or not. "You know, if it had been up to you, Jena would've blown up along with Malachor while you guys were happily cruising along in the galaxy."

Mical stared at him blackly. "Nice to see you've changed your irritatingly relentless tune from 'Oh, Jena, I've endangered you!' to 'Oh, Jena, I am your hero, you owe me your life!'"

"I never said she owed…" began Atton hotly. He then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Look, can we call a truce for now? I know we've managed it in the past… kind of… I'm just… drunk… _very _drunk. And I'm starting to get a nasty headache… Plus running into the _Dark Lord Revan_ wasn't exactly the highlight of my day… and then there's the bond business…"

Mical stared at his feet. "Very well… You are right, of course; I shouldn't let… Wait. What do you mean, 'Bond business'?"

"I haven't been able to sense Jena's presence in four months. You of all people should know what _that_ means."

Mical gaped. "But surely you don't think she's… dead?"

Atton shrugged. "I don't know _what_ to think anymore," he said wearily, looking away.

"Well, _that's_ fairly obvious…" retorted Mical sharply. He paused and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. We agreed on a truce. I honestly don't know why sometimes you anger me so much. I've never met anybody who gets me so riled up."

"Yeah, Jena said that to me once." He grinned. "Except in our case, it was kind of a good thing… you know, helps with the sexual tens—"

"Atton, _please_!"

Atton suddenly remembered to whom he was talking. "Right. Sorry. Forgot for a moment there," he meekly said. "Like I said… I'm drunk."

"I could tell. You smell like a Nar Shaddaa brewery – amongst other things. But back to Jena… I really don't think that if Liah thought Jena was dead, we… actually, it's really not my place to say… you should go speak to Liah. She'll let you know what's going on." Mical stepped back into the medical room. As Atton headed back toward the cockpit, he heard him bellow, "And _do_ get cleaned up, for Force's sake!"

Shrugging, Atton decided to ignore him and to head toward the cockpit anyway. _I'm not about to get cleaned up for Lord Revan, no matter how attractive she may be without that helmet of hers. _As he started walking, he heard a buzzing sound behind him. He turned. A little droid had rolled into the cockpit, stopped, and beeped curiously at him.

"Well, well!" exclaimed Atton. "If it isn't the little trash compacter! Didn't think I'd see _you_ here."

"Dee-deet bleep!"

"Oh, don't you worry, I'm not happy to see you either."

"Dwoooo…"

"Don't you 'Dwoooo' me. You know exactly why I'm not happy to see you. Well, other than the fact you're a droid, of course. You were supposed to look after Jena. Didn't do a really good job, now did you?"

"Dwoooo… Deet dee-deet bleep deet!"

"I don't care _what_ your excuse is. I don't care if she held a blaster to your… head… thing… and said she'd obliterate you if you didn't let her go off alone. You should've still gone with her."

"DEET! BLEEP DEET!"

"Hey, let's not get personal, here. I _had_ to let her go. It was different."

"Bleep deet bop deet?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" he sighed, more subdued. "It pretty much _is_ the same thing. I know how she gets. I'm sorry." _Wait… did I just apologize to a _droid_? Just what in the hell has happened to me over the past year? It's bad enough I'm actually able to understand what it's saying._

"Deet! Dee-bee-dee-bee-deet!"

Lights started flashing rapidly on T3-M4. _What the…?_ A beam of light turned on, and Atton was faced with a life-size hologram of a short woman with a wide smile and a small, kissable mole above her lip. She was thin, much thinner than she had previously been.

"Jena!" he gasped.

"Hello pazaak boy!" said the image. "I take it if you're watching this that T3 has somehow found his way to you, like I hoped he would… Thank you, T3. Anyway, Atton, I hope you're doing well… and that you're keeping out of trouble, for the most part… or at any rate, at least out of force cages. I know how much you love _those_." He smirked over the last few words. She sighed and spoke more quietly. "About the way you left…"

His smile faded. _Great. Well, I guess I know what's coming… I suppose I deserve it… _

"Knowing you, by now you've probably second-guessed your decision a million times… Don't. It was for the best. Quite frankly, I don't know if I would've found the courage to walk away from you when the time came, and I had to… I _had_ to do it."

_That wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but I won't complain! _

She paused and suddenly laughed. His heart leapt at the sound. "Kind of funny that I had enough courage to come out here, but not enough to say goodbye to my pilot. Mind you, you _are_ pretty sexy." She snickered playfully.

_Dammit, Jens, I've missed that flirty way of yours… to say the least…_ He groaned._ A year and a half... it's been a year and a half!_

"Thanks for the cards, by the way… I've been counting cards nonstop since I got here. It's kept me busy. Though I really have to wonder what _you've_ been doing to spend your time, without your pazaak deck." She laughed again. "Maybe I don't want to know." She smiled again and grew sober. "Anyway, I don't want to get your hopes up, but I think I might be coming home relatively soon… I think Revan's starting to worry about me... she's hinted at sending me back" She chuckled slightly. "I don't see why she'd be worried… I'm fine. There's just one thing I really need to do before I go. I'm… looking for someone. Once I've found him, I think I might be heading back. I'm leaving T3 behind, because there's no point in bringing him along. I know you told him to look after me." She chuckled. "Don't be too hard on him… He put up _quite_ a fight. But you know me… I always get my way. Although _you_ always seem to give me quite a run for my credits in the process."

Atton laughed. _It's my specialty, babe._

Her smile faded. "Anyway, I really hope this reaches you… in case at some point you start losing hope. I'll still be here, just far and… out of reach. So, don't give up. I'll come back just as soon as I'm done with this. And I…" she faltered and spoke quietly. "I hope you're still waiting for me… because I can't stop thinking about you… about _us_. You have no idea how much I miss you. I love you, Atton. I'll see you soon."

The image flickered and died. Atton stood still for a few moments, letting Jena's message sink in. T3 looked uneasily at him, wondering what he was thinking. You could never tell with Atton. Suddenly, Atton leapt and hugged T3 fiercely.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" exclaimed Atton, elated.

"DEET!" T3 was somewhat distressed by this unexpected and rather unusual treatment.

Atton, suddenly realizing what he was doing, let go. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and straightened his robe. He then frowned and looked at T3 sternly.

"Wait a minute… you weren't going to _show_ me this at first, _were_ you!"

"Dweeeeeeeeeeee…" chanted T3 innocently.

"You _weren't_! You only showed it to me because I _apologized_!"

"Dweeeeee-doo-dweeeeee…" continued T3.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood. I'll deal with you later. Now I have to go get cleaned up in a _bad_ way."


	4. Hangover

**Chapter 4 – Hangover**

"Well, look who's finally decided to grace us with his presence!" quipped Revan. She sat on Carth's lap in the pilot's seat. Atton scowled. _That's my seat._ A man who looked the way Carth would have in his early twenties, had he been clad in Jedi robes, sat in the co-pilot chair and looked curiously at Atton. Revan glanced at Atton approvingly. "Your robe's still fairly disgusting and you still need a haircut, but at least that growth is gone from your face and you no longer smell like… Hell, I don't even know _what_ you smelled like. I didn't want to say anything, not to hurt your feelings…"

Atton scoffed. "Yeah, like you've ever cared about that, _Revan_."

"Hey," she protested, "I'm a completely reformed character. Ask Carth."

"It's true. She is." Carth then added behind his hand and underneath his breath. "You know she'll hurt me if I don't agree with her, right?" Atton grinned.

"HEY!" exclaimed Revan. "I'm _right_ here! The least you could do is wait till I'm out of earshot or at least not sitting right _on_ you to badmouth me."

Carth smiled. "Now, when have you ever known me to do that, beautiful?"

"You're lucky you're cute, flyboy." She leaned over and kissed him. Atton uncomfortably looked away. _Is that how Jena and I were? No wonder the crew hated me…_

"Aw, man!" muttered the younger version of Carth, rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, Dustil... Jaq…" laughed Revan, pulling away from Carth. "Right. You guys haven't met. Dustil Onasi, Atton Rand." Atton and Dustil awkwardly waved at each other. "Sorry guys… Carth and I haven't been back together for very long. I promise we won't always be like this."

"I hope not," laughed Dustil. "It's creepy."

"What do you mean, we're _not_ always going to be like this?" exclaimed Carth, pretending to be crestfallen. "Dammit! There go _my_ plans." His hand was rubbing her thigh and he smiled at her suggestively.

"Shut up, Onasi," she said, kissing him again.

Dustil looked away in disgust and Atton cleared his throat after a few seconds. Revan pulled away from Carth again and looked up at Atton.

"So… tell me…" said Atton. "How did you know to find me on Nar Shaddaa, anyway?"

"Oh, that was easy… I mean, Carth here was useless, because he didn't even know where you'd disappeared to when you left Telos… but your Jedi friend said you'd likely be on Nar Shaddaa. And hey, he was right. Although he was wrong about where you'd be… Thought I'd find you in the Pazaak Lounge. Man, it was a pain getting in there. That bouncer at the door just would _not_ let me in without a password. I had to… _persuade_ him to let me in."

"I'm really hoping by that statement that you mean you used your Jedi powers on him, and not what it _sounds_ like you're saying," commented Carth.

"Whichever one makes your male ego feel better, babe."

Atton chortled. _Well, I really must admit that _this_ Revan is a lot less unpleasant to be around than the one I remember…_

"So… where _are_ we going, anyway?" enquired Atton.

"I told you! Coruscant!"

"Yes, but… you didn't tell me _why_."

"Oh. Well, there are a few people I want to see about something, and we have to drop Dustil off there…"

Atton sighed. "Okay… let me spell it out for you. Why am _I_ here?"

"Well," retorted Revan. "I kind of figured you'd like to be there when we go get Jena. Of course, if you don't _want_ to be…" She smiled innocently.

"Go… go get Jena?" asked Atton incredulously, his face lighting up.

"Aw… isn't he adorable, Carth? Just like a gizka. I can't believe I was ever mean to him."

"That's enough, Liah… Lay off the poor guy a bit." Carth's tone was gentle, but Revan suddenly became more subdued and spoke seriously. _A Republic Admiral with that much power over Lord Revan… Never thought I'd ever see that!_

"Yeah, Atton," she said smiling faintly, "we're going to go get Jena. At least that's the plan… She dropped off everybody's radar four months ago, and we honestly don't know where she is. She went off somewhere and was supposed to come back, and… she didn't. That's the bad news. The good news is, we don't think she's dead. We think she might have wandered a bit too far into the Unknown Regions… maybe got stranded somewhere, and might need help coming back."

"She said she was looking for someone and that she might be far and out of reach."

Revan straightened herself up quickly and Carth winced under the sudden weight shift.

"Sorry, Carth… What did you _say_, Jaq?" she asked.

"She said…" he began.

"Yes, yes, I _heard_ that," dismissed Revan. "I was just wondering _how_ you knew this. I thought your bond was… well, not _severed_, but… put on hold."

"It is… This is just what she told me in the message she left for me on T3."

Revan's eyebrows both lifted. "Message? Well, this is news to _me_. Can I see this message?"

"Well, I…" He hesitated. He didn't really want to show it to Revan… she would simply mock him as she had been doing ever since she walked through the door at the cantina. _And it's personal stuff, dammit! She doesn't need to see it!_ No one else needed to see Jena telling him she loved him… that she missed him… that she hoped he was still waiting for her...

Carth peered at him and turned to Revan. "Liah, you don't really need to see the message, do you?" Atton threw him a grateful glance.

Revan shrugged. "I guess not… I mean I knew where she was headed… I just thought maybe there might have been a clue as to where she might have ended up…"

Atton resignedly sighed, turned, and walked out of the cockpit. "T3," he said as soon as he found the droid in the main hold, "I need you to come with me."

T3 seemed hesitant. "Dee-dweep deet?"

"What are you talking about? I did not _hug_ you."

"Deet beep!"

"I didn't…" he began hotly, before taking a deep breath. "Look, I don't have time to get into this. Just follow me."

Atton walked back into the cockpit with T3 in tow. "Revan wants to see the stuff about Jena leaving," he told him a little bitterly. _Great. It's bad enough the droid got to watch it the first time, now the rest of the crew does as well. Good thing Mical's not here… _

The beam of light turned on again, and Jena appeared before Atton, Dustil, Revan and Carth.

"There's just one thing I really need to do before I go. I'm… looking for someone. Once I've found him, I think I might be heading back." The light flickered and the image jumped. "Anyway, I really hope this reaches you… in case at some point you start losing hope. I'll still be here, just far and… out of reach. So, don't give up. I'll come back just as soon as I'm done with this."

The light flickered off again. Atton tried to conceal a grin. _Well, I guess I did just ask him to show the stuff about Jena leaving… Still… he didn't have to be nice…I really hope he doesn't think I like him now… I mean I hope _it_ doesn't think I like _it_! It's a stupid droid._ _Why do I keep calling it 'he'? I've been drinking way too much._

Revan looked thoughtful. "Mmh… I guess you were right; there isn't much information in that message. Thank you, T3, you can leave if you want."

T3 rolled out of the cockpit, humming contently.

"So what now?" asked Atton.

"Now, we head over to Coruscant, like I said. Once we're there, we'll figure out what we do. You should go get some rest. You've ingested a _lot_ of alcohol. I'm surprised you're still standing, actually. Carth and I are in the starboard dormitory… you and Dustil can share the portside one, along with Mical." _Of course we can… all part of the sick joke that is my life._ "We'll stay in the cockpit for tonight… starting tomorrow we can work out our piloting duty shifts. And I'm giving you a haircut."

Atton laughed derisively. "If you think I'm going to let the Dark L—"

"I'm giving you a haircut, dammit!" interrupted Revan heatedly. "If you think I want to step off the ship on Coruscant with a guy who looks like a cross between a human and a Wookiee…"

Atton shrugged. "Suit yourself." He started walking toward the door. "Oh, by the way," he said, turning around as he was about to walk out, "in case you kids are thinking of doing what I _know_ you're thinking of doing once Dustil and I are gone, Mical doesn't seem to take the hint that if the cockpit door is closed, he probably shouldn't knock. And T3 just walks in if it's not locked. Thought you might like to know."

Revan laughed. "Duly noted."

Taking his hint, Dustil promptly got up and exited of the cockpit as well, shaking his head.

* * *

When Atton woke up, he confusedly studied the room around him. _What?_ And then he groaned. He had remembered where he was and whom he was traveling with. _Ugh. I was hoping I had imagined all this. I'd give up my pazaak deck to be waking up in a gutter on Nar Shaddaa right now… How drunk was I to agree to this? Revan is bad enough… but she had to throw Mical and that droid into the mix. _He shook his head. He wasn't sure what time it was. _It's always hard to tell with space travel… I'd forgotten what that was like. At least I didn't have to fight anybody for this bed. I swear, if Mical had tried to claim it, I would've described in explicit detail exactly what Jena and I did in it._ He chuckled at the thought. _Well, I'm certainly feeling cruel today… must be the hangover. I wish I had some of Mira's magical hangover cure pills, like the ones she gave me on Telos. I don't know what they were, but they sure worked. Maybe Mical's got something._

Atton got up and headed to the medical room in hopes of finding something to cure his massive headache. Mical was sitting on the floor, meditating.

"Oh, sorry, I'll come back later," muttered Atton.

Mical let out a huge sigh. "It's all right, Atton… what did you want?"

"I was just wondering what sort of drugs you had in here."

"Drugs?" asked Mical cautiously.

"Don't worry, I'm not asking you to be my spice dealer. I'm just looking for something for my headache."

"Oh." Mical rummaged through his cabinets and pulled out a few pills he thrust distractedly into Atton's hand. "Here. I'm afraid that's all we've got. Someone raided the cabinets before we reached Telos last year, and took all the good hangover cures. I actually thought you were the one who took them."

"No… must've been Mira," Atton said, regretfully glancing down at the pills he was holding in his hand. He popped them into his mouth and tried his best to swallow them despite his dry, pasty mouth.

Mical smiled. "Ah yes… Mira… How is she, anyway?"

Atton shrugged. One of the pills was caught in his throat. He coughed and swallowed again. "How should I know?" he said in a strangled voice. "I haven't seen her in over a year. I'm not her babysitter. We both took the same freighter to Nar Shaddaa, I saw her a couple times when I was there, then I came back to Telos, end of story." He hit his chest with his fist as he gave one final swallow. _Finally! Stupid thing's gone._

"I thought you two were friends…"

"Hey, sure, we're friends, but it doesn't mean that we send each other birthday hologreetings or anything. What about you? Have you heard from any of the others?"

"No…" replied Mical. "I _think_ Bao-Dur went back to Iridonia… I have no idea where Visas went… and last I checked, Mandalore was still on Dxun. But again, that was also a year ago. As for the droids, T3 is here, GO-TO never made if off Malachor, along with Bao-Dur's remote, as you know, and HK-47…"

"Irritated Query: Were there not enough meatbags on board already?" said a metallic voice behind Atton. "Unnecessary Clarification: I do not feel we required the presence of yet another one." Atton turned around quickly. "Surprised Recognition: I remember you, meatbag Rand!"

"No!" exclaimed Atton, rushing to the cockpit, passing HK along the way. "No, no, no!" he yelled at Revan as he burst into the room.

"What's wrong, Jaq?"

"For one thing, _stop_ calling me that. And for another, _why_ do we have that killing machine on board?"

Revan grinned. "I see you've met HK-47."

"_Met_ him? I've gotten death threats from him _repeatedly_!"

"Well, of course… He _is_ an assassination droid…"

Atton blinked. "And yet _somehow_ you are not bothered by this."

"Of course not. Who do you think got him to use the term 'meatbag' in the first place? Malak _hated_ that. I think HK's hilarious."

"You? That… walking hazard is _your_ droid?" _Now why does this suddenly make sense?_

"Yes. Well, he used to be. You know… being Dark Lord of the Sith and all that… You should know – you keep reminding me of it any chance you get."

Atton leaned up against the wall, slipped down to the floor and held his head. _Revan, Mical, T3 AND the homicidal droid!_

"This is the worst hangover _ever_," he moaned.

* * *

_Author's notes:_ Yes, I now realise I accidentally referred to Revan as "Jena" once in the chapter... Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. ;) I can't believe I didn't catch that, considering how many times I proof-read this chapter. Anyway, thanks to those who pointed out the error to me... it has now been corrected. :) 


	5. Master Revan

**Chapter 5 – Master Revan**

"Shut up! And stop moving!" barked Revan.

Atton sat on the pilot's seat, his arms crossed, and looked extremely displeased. Revan was hunched over him, cutting his hair. Dustil sat in the co-pilot seat playing pazaak, and Atton glanced longingly at the cards._ Lucky kid… why doesn't she pester him instead? At least he knows her. I may have worked for her years ago, but I still barely know this woman; and what I do know about her, I hate!_

"I really don't see why this couldn't wait till I went to get a _real_ haircut on Coruscant," he grumbled, begrudgingly settling himself back into position.

"I told you!" she snapped. "I'm not stepping off the ship with someone that looks like a short Wookiee. Now _stop moving!_"

"If I end up looking horrible, I will hold you directly responsible." _This is ridiculous. If she wanted to torture me that badly, she could have picked a method I'd have enjoyed more… like ripping off my toenails…But _this_ is sadistic._

Revan laughed. "I don't think you could possibly look any worse than you already did. When's the last time you got a haircut? A bloody _year_ ago?"

"Something like that," said Atton, looking unconcerned. "It's not like I had anybody to impress."

"_Clearly_!" scoffed Revan. "I guess it's pretty easy to stay true to a woman if nobody else will want to have anything to do with you."

Atton turned around quickly. "Hey!" he retorted hotly, his face red. "It's not like I didn't get any offers. I got the offers, lady." _Well, at first anyway… before I started waking up in Nar Shaddaa gutters on a regular basis._ "I'm able to show some restraint, believe it or not…"

"Is that so?" laughed Revan. "Then I guess you _have_ changed… I remember how you…"

Atton glared at her, and significantly glanced sideways at Dustil. _Yes, please Revan, please tell everyone how I used to kill Jedi for you!_ "How you… well," she continued awkwardly, "how you had a thing for me…"

"Don't flatter yourself," snapped Atton rolling his eyes and turning back around. "Just because you thought _I_ was hot doesn't mean it automatically works the other way around." _How could I possibly think she was hot? She had that helmet and that cloak and everything. Hell, I could barely tell she was a woman. She's hot _now_, but I'm not about to tell her that! _He rolled his eyes. _When are we going to find Jena? I need someone to remind me that not all women are schuttas._

Atton and Revan both sulkily remained silent for a few minutes. The only sounds heard were those of Revan cutting Atton's hair and of Dustil flipping his cards. _This silence is killing me. I think I'd rather be arguing with the woman. _"So tell me, your Lordship…" he said sarcastically. "You left Carth behind when you went to the Unknown Regions the first time not to endanger him… what made you decide to bring him with you this time? No longer care about his safety?" Still pretending to pay attention to his game, Dustil peered interestingly at Revan from the corner of his eye.

"Well, this time I know where I'm going, and which areas to avoid…" replied Revan, ignoring the venom embedded in Atton's comments. "Plus most of the trouble has died down – which is why Jena and I were coming back. Also I don't expect too many problems. I figure Jena's just stranded somewhere… it's just a simple rescue mission."

Atton scoffed. "Is there ever such a thing?" he asked, glimpsing up at Revan as much as possible without moving his head.

Revan looked down at him thoughtfully. She sneered. "Good point," she admitted reluctantly through tight lips.

"Also," insisted Atton, happy to be gaining the upper hand, "I'll have to point out that if it _was_ a simple rescue mission, you probably wouldn't be bringing all these people with you."

She glanced down at him again and started to look as though she was trying hard to repress a smile. "Good point again! Can't really hide much from you, can I?"

"Not really, no," shrugged Atton, smiling smugly.

"All right, fine!" She laughed exasperatedly. "To be honest, I didn't _really_ want to bring Carth… I mean, I _did_, but I didn't know if it was such a good idea… But he talked me into it. I… well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I think I might be a little whipped." She wrinkled her nose as she uttered the last part.

"It's kind of hard to miss," quipped Atton. Biting his lip, Dustil quickly gathered up his cards and exited the cockpit so he wouldn't start laughing. Revan smacked Atton upside the head. "Hey!" he protested. "I was only agreeing with you!"

She peered at him through narrow eyes. "Yeah, well, _you_ should be one to talk. If I'm whipped, you're even _more_ so."

"Let's leave me out of this," he said, retreating to high and lofty grounds. "I'm just not buying your explanation, Revan. I mean, you left him once…"

Revan closed her eyes and shut her mouth with a snap. She took a deep breath and whispered harshly, "But I couldn't leave him twice." She opened her eyes and continued ferociously, "I mean, he _proposed_ to me, Jaq! What was I going to do? Say no? _Really_ break his heart and then leave him again for another five years?"

Atton glanced at her for a moment and said slowly, "You weren't really coming back for good… _were_ you?"

"No," admitted Revan quietly. "No, there's still… more to do… But Jena _was_ coming back. I was going to make sure of that. She was killing herself out there. Well, you saw the holo she left on T3… She must've lost half her weight since she showed up. Well, maybe not _quite_ half, but you know what I mean. She just wasn't strong enough. It's weird – you'd think that those years of exile would have made her tougher, but she's not…" She shook her head.

Mical's words came to Atton's mind. _You are her one weakness._ Atton felt something churn in his chest. "Is it… because of me?" he asked dully.

"No, of course not!" replied Revan a little too promptly, avoiding his gaze.

Atton laughed sardonically. "Funny, I would have expected the Dark Lord of the Sith to be a better liar than that."

Revan quickly turned her eyes back and stared at Atton blackly. "I said it's got nothing to do with you, egomaniac. I think that maybe when she was exiled, she didn't really care about anything and probably had a death wish… and ironically enough, that's what let her survive. Now she actually cares about herself, so she's being more careful… and by being more careful, she's being less careful."

"Did that last little sentence make sense in Sadistic Sith Lord language? Because it didn't to _me_," quipped Atton.

Revan glared. "I mean she's less likely to just jump out there and do what she has to do. She… hesitates and second guesses every one of her actions, and you yourself must know how dangerous that can be in battle." _She's keeping something from me… She was lying earlier. It does have something to do with me; I know it! I bet… I bet Mical was… _He sneered at the thought… _I bet Mical was right. I'm a liability. I'm the reason why this has happened to her._

Revan peered at him curiously. Atton immediately focused his thoughts on pazaak. Revan frowned but smirked inexplicably. "Anyway, that's… why I was sending her back," she concluded. "She wasn't able to focus properly anymore and she was wasting away. I care about her a great deal; she's a good friend. We had other Jedi come join us: some of the others who sensed what was going on. Jena was supposed to leave after she did this one last thing for us. But when she didn't come back… Well, I looked for her for a while – went where she was supposed to go, but couldn't find any trace of her. So I came back to look for you. I figured that with your bond, you'd be the one person who could find her; and it's very important that we do. I went back to Telos because that's where she said you would be. Only when I got there I found out you'd left." Her eyes dropped suddenly. "If I had known, I wouldn't have gone to Telos at all."

"But then you wouldn't have seen Carth," stated Atton unnecessarily.

"Exactly," she said, lowering her voice guiltily and carefully avoiding Atton's gaze. "The look in his eyes when he saw me… I knew I couldn't leave him again. Even I'm not strong enough for that." _Well, this is strange… she almost sounds… human._ He frowned._ I can certainly relate to what she's saying… I wouldn't be able to leave Jena twice. Hell, I barely managed it once._

"So what are you going to do?" he asked, his voice sounding almost sympathetic, although he still tried to look annoyed. "…After, I mean."

Revan shook her head and shrugged. "I still have to figure that out. I could leave, but I might lose Carth forever, and I can't have that. I could bring him along, but that would endanger him, and I can't have that either. Or I could just stay, but I'm still needed out there for a while anyway… I just don't know." She seemed weary and disheartened for a brief moment, and then suddenly recovering the demeanor she normally saved for Atton, asked, "So tell me… what's the deal with you and Mical?"

Atton's face grew somber. "What do you mean?"

Revan let go of Atton's hair, folded her arms and silently stared at him significantly for a moment. Atton laughed a little. "All right, all right…" he said begrudgingly. "Do they teach you that look at the Jedi Academy? Jena always used to look at me in the exact same way when she wanted to get me to tell her something. Fine. Let's just say that Mical and I have a bit of a… history." Noting that Revan had stopped cutting his hair, he quickly took the opportunity to dig into his robes and pull out his pazaak deck.

"A history?" Revan asked, returning to her task. "What kind of history?"

Atton absent-mindedly pulled the top card from his deck and started twirling it between his fingers. "The kind where we're both in love with the same woman," he said casually.

Revan dropped his hair again. "Oh."

Atton laughed bitterly. "I bet you're starting to regret bringing us both on board now, huh!"

"No… I mean, I guess it just makes sense now. Though I never dreamed… He seemed like he was above that sort of stuff. Wasn't he practically raised by Jedi? You'd think…" She frowned and pursed her lips. "He was on Telos when I came back… he came from Coruscant to help with the restoration, I think… And when he overheard me talking to Carth about going to save Jena, he insisted on accompanying me." She stared at the pazaak card spinning in Atton's hand as one mesmerized. "I didn't really question his motivation… He said he had helped Jena out over a year ago, and he wanted to help us find her."

Atton stopped twirling his card and a mocking smile slowly developed on his lips. "Ha! He must've been disappointed to know you were going to bring me along too."

"Actually, no, it was _his_ idea."

Atton frowned. "His idea?" _Why would Mical want to help me find Jena? Something's not quite right… _He shifted his weight slightly from one side to the other. _This chair is pretty uncomfortable when I'm forced to stay in one position._

"Well it was… sort of…" She stopped and grimaced slightly as she looked at Atton's hair. One side was shorter than the other. She gathered up some of the hair on the longer side and resumed cutting. "I mean, like I said, I figured you of all people would be able to help me track Jena down and I _wanted_ to bring you along seeing as she talked about you so damn much… Of course that was before I knew who you _were_…" Atton shot her a black look from the corner of his eye. "But to be quite honest, once I discovered you weren't on Telos after all, I didn't have the first clue where to look for you. Then Mical came along and said where he thought we'd be able to find you, and insisted we went to go get you."

"Oh… well, that was… decent of him," he admitted reluctantly. _Something is definitely not adding up… I wonder if he did this just so he could use me to find…_

"Wasn't it?"

"Are you almost done up there?" asked Atton, suddenly annoyed and shifting his weight again. "Cause my leg's starting to fall asleep."

"Patience, patience, young padawan," replied Revan condescendingly.

"Yeah, well, I'm not _your_ padawan, so stuff it," said Atton sulkily as he carefully set down pazaak cards on his lap.

"That's true," conceded Revan lightly. "But…" She hesitated. "But I suppose you _could_ be…"

Atton turned and faced her quickly, his cards dropping to the floor. His hair slipped out of Revan's fingers as she was about to cut it, and a cry of protest escaped her lips. Ignoring her, he asked fiercely, "What are you talking about, I _could_ be?"

Revan glowered at Atton. "Not if you keep acting like _this_, you won't… I could've cut myself!"

Atton scoffed, pointing out her various injuries. "Yeah, like it would be so much different from the blaster burns and the vibroblade scars, and the… I don't even know what _that_ is…" he added, referring to a mark on her neck. Revan brushed her fingers against the wound he pointed at.

"It's a burn from a lightsaber that got just a bit too close. It burned off some of my hair too – took forever to grow back."

Atton seemed somewhat relieved. "Oh, okay, cause for a second I thought maybe it was a hickey that Carth gave you," he commented with a disgusted look.

"A hickey? What are we, twelve?" Revan laughed, but quickly grew serious again. "All right, look: it's not that I really _want_ to do this. Force knows that if nothing else, this little conversation we've been having has shown me that neither of us is particularly crazy about the other… partly because we remind each other of who we used to be, and partly because… well, you're kind of an ass, Jaq. I'm also not particularly keen on taking on a student…" She glared at him. "Especially not one like _you_. But even leaving you out of the equation, I'm not fond of the idea, because, to be quite honest, who the hell am I to say what Jedi should and should not do? As you're already aware – and how you insist on painfully reminding me incessantly – I've, well, made some mistakes in the past, to put it mildly. Some people might argue it would make me qualified to teach, while others might say the opposite. Personally I'm not… extremely comfortable with the idea – not because I don't think I can handle it, but because it makes me feel like… well, a bit of a hypocrite to tell people to follow the Jedi teachings when I rejected them myself in the past. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, and…" She wrinkled her nose and glanced down at Atton depreciatingly as he bent down to pick up the cards he had dropped. "To be quite honest, you _need_ it. Hell, even Dustil's had more teaching than you, and we're not bringing him out with us. The way you looked when I picked you up, I'd say you haven't even touched your lightsaber since Jena left." Atton opened his mouth to protest, but Revan interrupted him. "Don't. You don't need to say anything – it's written all over your face. You might know how to shield your thoughts… and shield them well, might I add… but you might want to work on hiding your emotions more. You have a face that's pretty easy to read."

"Yeah, Jena said the same thing," admitted Atton begrudgingly, not liking the fact that Jena and Revan seemed to have yet another feature in common.

Revan was pensive. "That's odd… I don't remember you being like that at all."

Atton snorted. "Yeah, well, maybe that's because back then I could be killed for showing what I felt… not that I felt much of anything." He frowned. "I've been meaning to ask… how come you remembered me? I thought the Jedi Council wiped your memory out or something…"

"They did," replied Revan quietly. "I've just… started remembering things… after the Star Forge, after… Malak." She shivered as she uttered his name and briefly closed her eyes. "I gradually remembered more and more. I still don't remember much about my childhood, about my family… but I _do_ remember everything since right before the Mandalorian Wars." She paused and for a moment looked as though her thoughts were a million miles away. She then shook her head violently. "But what am I babbling like this for? You're trying to change the subject, and it won't work, Jaq. Now will you let me train you or not?"

_Dammit, she's on to me._ Atton hesitated. He felt tempted to accept, but something was holding him back. He played his final card. "But I… I already _have_ a master. I couldn't possibly…"

Revan smirked. "Aw… Jaq, you are _so_ adorable when you're monogamous!" she mocked.

Atton scowled at her. _Stop pretending like you know me, like you know what I'm about._

"I'm just teasing you," she quickly retracted, sensing the darkening of his mood. "I actually _do_ think it's sweet that you're so crazy about her. Honest. Anyway, you _can_ have more than one master, you know… and you'll be relieved to learn that you don't have to sleep with all of them either."

Atton opened his mouth to protest, and closed it again when his eyes met Revan's. She looked at him mischievously. He shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Well, all right, I guess I earned that comment… still a cheap shot, though." He tried his best to remain angry, but somehow could not quite manage it. _That was a pretty good dig after all…_

"Well?" Revan smiled expectantly.

Atton stopped to think. _Well, I suppose it can't be all bad… I mean, Mical was right, I don't even know if I still know how to use my lightsaber anymore. If I want to help Jena, I'll have to know something. I sold my blasters that day I lost all my credits at pazaak, so I can't even rely on them either. Plus I could do worse. At least I know Revan won't be lecturing me day in and day out about that stupid Jedi Code. Force knows I don't want to turn into Mical, mumbling stuff about how there's no passion. But I don't know… I have a bad feeling about this… Do I really want to spend that much time with the Dark Lord? _He repressed a sigh._ But Jena needs me…I can't let her down…_

"Yeah, all right," he said out loud, a little reluctantly.

"Excellent. And don't worry," she said teasingly, noticing his reluctance. "Jena's still your master too… I'll just be your backup one till we meet up with her again. Anyway, I'm done with your hair now. Let me look at you… There's the Jaq I remember. You look a _lot_ better. I wasn't afraid of stroking your already overblown ego, I might even say you look hot again. I'll get Carth to take over in here. Come on, handsome… you, me, cargo hold."

Atton raised his eyebrows and snorted. "You sure you want Carth to know about this?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, young padawan. Now, follow me."

* * *

"Come on… show me what you got!" said Revan, beckoning at Atton. 

"You know, Rev, if you wanted me to get my mind out of the gutter, you might want to consider rephrasing a little…" said Atton grinning insolently.

"Will you just take out you damn lightsaber already!" snapped Revan.

Atton promptly unhooked his lightsaber from his belt. He had been trying to put off that moment as much as possible. When he and Revan had started out by sparring without weapons, he had fondly hoped that it would remain that way for the rest of the day. He hadn't used his lightsaber since… since… He frowned. _When _is_ the last time I used it? Must've been on the way to the shuttle for the Ravager._ Thinking about it reminded him of Jena… Jena, who had clasped his hand and kissed his cheek before boarding the shuttle… He sighed.

"Focus, Atton!" ordered Revan.

Atton snapped out of his daydream. "S-sorry."

"You really do need to learn to focus… I mean, your fighting's good from what I can tell so far, but you need to learn to concentrate a bit better on what you're doing. If we were really fighting, I probably could've killed you about five times by now." She shook her head disapprovingly.

"If we were really fighting," Atton chimed in, "I wouldn't have been thinking about…" He abruptly stopped.

"About Jena?" she said sharply. "Well what if she was in the same room? Worse, what if she got wounded and you were concerned about her? Would you be able to take your mind off her then? _That's_ something you have to work on… because you're not going to be any good to her if you get yourself killed. I'm starting to think it's a _damn_ good thing you didn't come along with her when she left. I know she wanted you there with her… and I know you wanted to come along. But you'd have gotten killed on your second day because you would have been too distracted by her… and you would have endangered her too."

"I know," said Atton quietly. "That's why I decided to leave when I did."

Revan switched off her lightsaber. She looked at him gravely. "Well, it's good to know that you do sometimes make the right decision. Now come on. Let's get this going… and FOCUS!"

Atton brandished his lightsaber for the first time in a year and a half. _Is it even still going to work? I don't know, the number of time it fell on the floor because Jena unhooked my belt…_ He shook his head._ No, focus!_ He switched it on. _Hey, well at least it still works…_

Revan glanced at it admiringly. "Viridian! Nice color!" She turned hers on again. "All right now try to hit me."

Atton took one step forward and his training came back to him in a flash. He smiled. He knew he could still make Jena proud.

Their sparring lasted for a few minutes, until Revan called it off. "Good stuff!" she said, a little surprised. "You're not a lost cause after all. Like I said, concentrate and you'll do fine." Atton switched his lightsaber off, smiling tiredly. _I have to admit… This does beat getting drunk every night…_

"Liah?" said a voice coming from the hallway.

Revan turned to look at the door. "What is it, flyboy?"

Carth walked into the cargo hold. _Well, it's a good thing you knew what we were doing in here, because I'd hate to have to explain to you what I'm doing in the cargo hold with your woman, all sweaty and out of breath._

"Hey beautiful… Um… there's a bit of a problem." Carth seemed a little concerned.

"A problem?" asked Revan apprehensively. "With what?"

"With the hyperdrive. It's gone offline. We've dropped out of hyperspace. We have to do an emergency landing."

Revan turned to Atton. "Wow, you just bring your good luck with you everywhere you go, don't you?" she sneered.


	6. Of Trees and Tachs

**Chapter 6 – Of Trees and Tachs**

"Just what in the hell have you done to my ship, Jaq?" demanded Revan brusquely, her fists firmly planted on her hips. She glared at Atton's direction, as the latter and Carth stared in dismay at the light that suspiciously flashed on the control panel. Atton turned his head toward Revan and glowered at her. _'Her' ship… Always 'her' ship. _

"Hey, lady, I'll have you notice I wasn't anywhere _near_ the cockpit when this happened. Why don't you ask your boy toy? This ship was working just _fine_ when I flew her."

"Just fine, you say? Right. Was that _before_ or _after_ you crash landed on Malachor V?" she replied, pursing her lips. T3, who had entered the cockpit to investigate, immediately turned around and rolled out, beeping in a manner that was reminiscent of someone whistling innocently.

Atton turned red. "It was fixed! There was no problem with it! It even got us away from the planet as it blew up! _I_ got us away from the planet as it blew up. It…"

"People, please!" interrupted Carth authoritatively, stepping in between the two. "As much as I love hearing to you two bicker incessantly, we have to make a _decision_. Now, I looked at the galaxy map, and I think our best bet would be to aim for Kashyyyk."

"Kashyyyk?" asked Atton incredulously. "The Wookiee planet? Why would we want to go there? It's just a bunch of… _Wookiees_!"

"Really?" quipped Revan. "I'm glad _you_ were here with this little bit of knowledge, because I certainly didn't know!" She rolled her eyes. "Well, I for one think it's an excellent idea… We know people there. And by people, I mean Wookiees, of course. Carth and I helped them out back in the day. They like _us_," she emphasized, implying that she didn't expect Atton to be well liked. "Besides, it's not as though we have much of a choice. I know we'll be able to get help down there, and we'll be able to fix our ship. I can't say the same about any of the other planets we _may_ encounter if we're lucky." She coldly turned away from Atton and toward the Admiral. "Go with Kashyyyk, Carth," she instructed.

Atton seemed unimpressed to say the least. "You don't have to agree with him just because he's the only one here who likes you. I know you're whipped, but come on! Do I even get a say in this?" he asked vainly.

"No!" snapped Revan, settling down into the co-pilot's chair.

"All right… but I _know_ I'm going to regret this," grumbled Atton._ Maybe if the Czerka Corporation was still there, we'd be able to get someone to fix this ship, but as it stands… At least Jena used to listen to my advice… for the most part. _He blinked a few times. _Okay, maybe not for the most part, but she did once or twice… I think…_

Carth began landing proceedings, helped by Revan, and Atton left the cockpit in a huff. _Great. Just great. Now it's going to take us that much longer to get to Jena. What's even better, I can't even understand a damn word those Wookiees say. This'll be a fun stay. Where is that tin can? Why can't it fix the bloody hyperdrive? What good is having that thing around if it can't do simple repairs? The entertainment value?_

Atton, still silently raging, stepped into the main hold, only to see Mical come out of hiding. "Atton, what is happening?" he asked, puzzled.

"We're _landing_," said Atton bitterly. "On Kashyyyk. Apparently we weren't getting to Jena slow enough, now we have to go visit some walking carpets."

Mical frowned. "Why are we landing? I thought the only planned stop was on Coruscant." He peered at Atton suspiciously, as though he thought the latter somehow had something to do with the unplanned stopover.

"Don't look at _me_!Tell that to _them_!" exploded Atton. "Apparently the hyperdrive's shot. Again. I guess they don't think we can repair it up here. I thought Bao-Dur fixed that damn thing."

"Well, he did, but it _was_ over a year ago…" replied Mical thoughtfully. "And the _Ebon Hawk_ did travel to the Unknown Regions afterwards and remained there, likely with no one to check if…"

Atton threw his arms up in exasperation. "Why do you always have to be so damn reasonable?" he spat. "I can't even complain in peace with you around. I'll bet you can even understand those screams Wookiees call a language."

Mical looked like he tried hard to repress a smile. "Yes, now that you mention it, I can."

"Of _course_ you can," said Atton, further aggravated by Mical's vain attempts to conceal his satisfaction over Atton's plight. "Great. I bet I'll be the only one who won't be able to understand what's being said. Well, at least I won't be expected to talk. The only run-in I've ever had with a Wookiee has been unpleasant, to say the least, mostly due to the small matter of miscommunication." He lifted his left sleeve and showed off a large scar above his elbow. Greatly annoyed, he pulled his sleeve down again and turned to walk away, only to see Revan and Carth coming out of the cockpit.

"All right, we've landed," stated Revan dryly. "Let's go see the Wookiee chief to see if he can get us some help,"

Atton hesitated. As Revan walked briskly past him, he grabbed her sleeve and reluctantly said, "Um… Rev? I'll… um… I'll be staying aboard the ship. I don't exactly understand Wookiees when they… talk… or scream… or… whatever it is that they do."

Revan's lips curled into a mocking smile. "Yeah, I kind of gathered that when you described the planet as 'just a bunch of Wookiees'. No, I'd like you to come with us, _young padawan_." Atton glared at her scornfully. "Don't worry," she added with mischievous eyes. "We have a translator on board."

"Who? You mean Mical?" Atton laughed sarcastically, turning his eyes toward the green-robed Jedi making his way to the exit ramp.. "No offence, lady, but I don't think he'll be interested in…"

Revan waved her hand dismissively at Atton, and still smirking, turned around and beckoned in the direction of the corridor leading to the cockpit. _What? Who, Dustil? Where…?_ His thoughts came to an abrupt halt when he saw red eyes peering at him from the shadows.

"Query: Did you need me for something, master?" said a voice coming from that direction. _Oh, no…don't tell me… _

"Yes, HK… Atton here doesn't appear to understand Wookiees. I want you to stick by him, translate for him, and make sure he doesn't screw up by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person… or Wookiee."

"Acknowledgement: As you wish, master. It will be my pleasure to ensure that the meatbag Rand is not out of line." His red eyes shone brightly.

Atton glared at Revan. "You're getting that killing machine to baby-sit me? You vindictive_ SCHUTTA!_ That's it." He folded his arms determinedly. "I am _not_ stepping off the ship."

"Oh yes you are," warned Revan, her tone dangerously reminding Atton of that belonging to a certain Dark Lord of the Sith he used to be acquainted with. Atton wisely opted to keep quiet and to follow Revan without any further discussion. _Besides… if I aggravate her enough, she's likely to snap and sic her attack droid on me. I'm not really buying this total redemption act of hers. Sure, I may have done some pretty bad stuff, but what I've done is nothing compared to what she did. _

As they stepped off the ship, Atton hung around toward the back of the group and eyed HK apprehensively. _You can't give this thing a reason to shoot you, Rand. I mean, you heard what the crazy schutta said… 'make sure he doesn't screw up by saying the wrong thing to the wrong person'… She might as well have told the thing to shoot me if I open my mouth._ He shook his head. _All that because I got into an argument with her and accused her of only wanting to come here because pretty boy Carth told her to. She is _petty_! Redeemed, my ass!_

He noticed two Wookiees heading toward them as soon as they set foot to the ground. _This'll be fun. I get to deal with Wookiees _and _with the psychotic droid all at once. I find it strange that anyone would bother programming an assassination droid to be able to translate. But as Revan's the only who programmed this homicidal walking piece of rust, I won't even ask. The woman's insane. Why did I even accept to let her train me? I can't even blame the alcohol for getting me into _that_ mess. There isn't a drop of anything on board. I would know – I've looked!_

The Wookies voiced out something that vaguely reminded Atton of a badly oiled droid he once encountered. He cringed.

"Translation: They are surprised, but happy to see my master. They are offering to take our group directly to their chief."

"Well, isn't that nice…" commented Atton with a bitter smile. "Hey Rev," he called out. "Good thing you cut my hair! I wouldn't have wanted to make the wrong impression because of how shaggy I looked."

Revan shot him a black look. "Shut up, Jaq," she barked.

"And quit calling me that, already!" he snapped.

Mical turned and looked quizzically at Atton. "Atton?" he enquired. "Why _does_ she call you Jaq?"

"Why don't you ask her Lordship?" Atton said sullenly. Addressing Revan, he spoke louder, "Right Rev? Why don't you explain to him exactly what you used to have me do for you?"

"That's enough, Atton," warned Revan sharply.

Atton quieted down, slightly shamed by his outburst, and annoyed at himself for feeling shamed. _This is taking way too long. We should be halfway to the Unknown Regions by now._

"Query: Master…" tentatively began a voice behind him.

"No, HK," interrupted Revan, the corners of her mouth curling slightly. "Leave him alone…" Her mischievous eyes locked with Atton's. "For now," she added defiantly. She turned and started once again to walk toward the Wookiee village. Atton quietly followed the group, painfully aware of his metallic shadow.

As they entered the chief's hut, Atton noticed an immediate change in demeanor on Revan's part. She seemed very happy… but also extremely surprised.

"Zaalbar!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you were back here!"

The Wookiee growled a reply.

"Translation: The Wookiee chief has greeted my master and expressed his joy to see her again alive."

"What happened, Zaalbar?" enquired Revan, looking saddened. "What happened to Freyyr?"

Zaalbar growled again, slightly more subdued. _He sounds… sad… but that's all I can figure out._

"Translation: The Wookie chief Freyyr has expired, roughly six standard months ago. Further Explanation: The Wookiee Freyyr was the current chief's father, and acquainted with my master."

Revan walked over to Zaalbar, put her hand on his arm, and said chokingly, "I'm really sorry to hear this, Zaalbar." The Wookiee made another sound.

"Translation: The Wookiee chief thanks my master for her kind words. He wishes to know the purpose of her visit. As would I, for as always, no one bothered to explain anything to me. Disappointed Observation: This _does_ appear to be a… diplomatic visit."

"We need to fix our hyperdrive, Zaalbar… we're on our way to the Unknown Regions to rescue a friend of mine. Is there anyone here who can help us? Is Mission with you?" Zaalbar replied again and Revan seemed rather put out about something.

"Translation: He is sorry to hear of the circumstances surrounding my master's friend. He says that while the Twi'lek to whom my master was referring is not currently on Kashyyyk, he does know of someone in his tribe who may be able to help fix the ship's hyperdrive. He appears to deem it unwise to venture into the Unknown Regions without a reliable tech on board."

Zaalbar growled again.

"Translation: He says that while his technician has a look at our hyperdrive, we may wish to step down into the Shadowlands. He says we may find something of interest to my master, something that may help her on her quest. Hopeful Statement: Perhaps there I will be able to make myself truly useful by doing what I was programmed for instead of doing this demeaning translation task unworthy of my circuitry."

"We _may_ find something of interest to us?" asked Atton suspiciously. "That's a little vague… I don't know if I want to start wandering the planet for something that may or may not interest us and that we may or may not find, when we could be off rescuing Jena."

Zaalbar replied.

"Translation: The chief says that his technician may take some time to get the repairs done, and he feels it would be important for my master to make her way down to the Shadowlands."

Atton shrugged. "Whatever. I don't know why I even bother anymore," he mumbled unpleasantly. HK flashed his eyes at him, and Atton quickly quieted down.

After Revan thanked Zaalbar and told him to let her know as soon as the repairs were done, the group stepped out of the hut and made their way toward the lift. Atton, leaving HK, Mical and Dustil behind, ran up to where Revan and Carth stood. "Look, Rev, do we even know what we're looking for? What that Wookiee said was pretty damn vague."

Revan smiled dreamily. "I think I know what we're looking for."

"Well, I'm glad one of us does," grumbled Atton.

Ignoring Atton, Revan turned around and grinned. "What do you think Carth? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Carth's face lit up. "Yeah, I think so, Liah. That's odd. I thought he said he was sick of looking at trees."

Revan shrugged and laughed. "You know how he gets! He complains most about the places and the people he cares about."

Carth laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right, beautiful," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Excuse me," interjected Atton, "not to interrupt this little lovers' trip down memory lane, but who are we talking about?"

Revan laughed and continued talking to Carth as though Atton had never spoken. "What do you think he'll think of our new friend?" she said, gesturing at Atton.

"It'll be interesting to watch, that's for sure," scoffed Carth.

"HEY!" said Atton louder. "I'm _right_ here! If you're going to say things about me you could at least have the decency to wait until I'm out of earshot, or…" He stopped. _Where have I heard this before? Didn't Rev… Oh great, now I'm starting to sound like her._

They came upon an area at the end of the boardwalk where hung a platform clearly meant to be a lift. They all boarded the lift, and Revan started lowering it into the depths of the Shadowlands. Atton kept his hand on his lightsaber. _This place is giving me the creeps. I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere that they only let their best hunters down here. It can't be safe. I wonder who this… guy they were talking about was. Not another Wookiee. Please don't let it be another Wookiee. I've seen enough Wookiees to last me a lifetime._

They stepped off the lift and looked around. It was quiet. _Quiet and creepy. What's with the haze everywhere? It's like we're on the set of some bad horror holovid._ They started walking, Atton cautiously treading, rather uneasy about HK's presence right behind him. Revan appeared to know exactly where she was going. _Or at least I hope she does. What in the Force is that thing?_ Atton disgustedly flicked a large insect off his shoulder. _How familiar this scene seems…damp and dreary and bugs the size of my fist landing on me. Just like Dxun. This planet is just way too humid. At least this time we don't have to gut cannoks. Now what…? Okay, now _that_ bug I can't flick._

"Kinrath," mumbled Revan with a slightly disgusted look on her face. "Great. Jaq, get your ass over here. You need the practice more than any of us."

Atton sighed and pulled out his lightsaber. _Is this 'pick on Jaq' day? I bloody hate kinrath. I hated them on Dantooine, and I hate them here. _He promptly attacked both kinrath that had crept up on them, while everyone else just stood by and watched. As he finished off the first one, he noticed that the second one was aiming its venomous sting at his leg. He moved his leg back and in one swift move, beheaded the second kinrath. He wrinkled his nose as some of the kinrath's venom sprayed onto his robe. _Well, at least I hadn't gotten around to washing the robe yet…_After the oversized insect fell dead, he turned and commented begrudgingly, "Gee, thanks for the help, guys."

Revan looked unconcerned. "Like I said, Jaq, you're the one who needs the practice. Now where was… it should be just around this corner. Ah! There it is!" She smiled. In front of them was a small hut that looked like it had grown from the ground rather than had been built. _Who – or what – would possibly want to live down here? This has to be a Wookiee – nothing else alive that crazy to…_ An old bald man in Jedi robes walked out of the hut to investigate the commotion.

"Now what's going on…" he began. He stopped and looked at the group. "Liah! Carth! Well, it's about time you paid an old man a visit! I can only stare at trees and count tachs to kill time for so long, you know!" Atton noticed the lightsaber hanging from his belt. _It's worse than another Wookiee. It's another Jedi._

"Shut up, old man!" said Revan, laughing. "I had no idea you were back on Kashyyyk! We had to do an emergency landing… We're actually on our way to the Unknown Regions."

"The Unknown Regions?" the old man said slowly, looking puzzled. "I thought you already _were_ in the Unknown Regions. Shows how accurate are the news I get around these parts."

"No, that was right… I _was_ there," smiled Revan.

"So…" began the old man, gesturing toward Carth and Dustil, "you liked it so much you thought you'd go back on a little family vacation? And this time with some new people to irritate, to boot?"

Revan checked herself. "Oh, I'm sorry… You remember Dustil… this is Atton, and that's Mical. Guys, this is Jolee Bindo."

_Jolee Bindo? Why does that remind me…Jena… she told me…_

"Destiny," mumbled Atton half to himself.

"What was that, son?" asked Jolee, facing Atton.

"Nothing." Atton was slightly flustered. "My… master mentioned you once… she said you had a good story about destiny, and how it doesn't always turn out the way you think."

Jolee peered curiously at him. "Is that so? And who's this master of yours?"

"Jena Shel," replied Atton briefly, desperately trying not to blush under the old man's gaze.

"Jena… Jena… Ah yes, I remember Jena… pretty girl. Very short. I met her… let me think… why, that must've been before the Mandalorian Wars! And she's your master? Huh!" He studied Atton depreciatingly. "She might want to consider teaching you how to clean your robe… what did you do, fall into a gutter on Nar Shaddaa?"

Atton raised an eyebrow. "Actually, yes. Several times." He crossed his arms and gazed smugly at Jolee, as Mical snorted. Jolee met Atton's gaze and they wordlessly stared at each other for a moment. Jolee grunted to conceal a smile, and turned to look at Mical. His eyes rested on the latter for a few seconds. He frowned slightly, but said nothing. He then turned again and addressed Revan.

"So, are you ever going to explain why you're going back to the Unknown Regions, or am I just supposed to guess? I'm getting a little old to be playing these games…"

Carth jumped in. "We're going there to rescue Mical and Atton's master, Jena. She went there to help out Liah, and she seems to have… disappeared."

Jolee arched his eyebrows in surprise and amusement. "Jena has _two_ padawans?"

"Actually, she has _four_," interjected Atton still looking smug. "Us, a bounty hunter named Mira, and an Iridonian named Bao-Dur."

"Well, isn't _that_ interesting," commented Jolee, staring curiously and inexplicably at Mical again.

"What do you say, old man, do you want to join us on our adventure?" laughed Carth.

Jolee chuckled. "Oh, my adventuring days are long past, I'm afraid, sonny-boy. That little bit of running around I did with you kids last time was more than enough for me. I'm old and tired. Too old and tired to be prancing around the galaxy with youngsters like you. Though if you're absolutely looking for someone to bring along, you might consider bringing my student with you, if she's willing. I think she's getting bored here."

"Student?" wondered Revan. "You have a student?"

Jolee shrugged. "Like I said, I got tired of staring at trees and counting tachs. Anyway, if you want to meet her, she should be back any minute. I sent her out to… dispose… of some poachers."

"Atton Rand, you son of a schutta!" exclaimed a voice behind them.

They turned, but before Atton had a chance to react, he was violently tackled to the ground.


	7. Old Friends

**Chapter 7 – Old Friends**

Atton felt as though all the air had been knocked out of him. He none too gently shoved the woman with the fiery red hair off him. "Mira, what are you doing here?" he gasped, looking both annoyed and glad at once.

Mira laughed. "Well, I certainly could ask you the same, you schutta!"

Atton painfully rose from the ground, brushing the dirt off his robe. _Not that it really makes that much of a difference, I guess…It's dirty enough… _ "I thought you said I was a _son_ of a schutta," he quipped.

Mira shrugged. "And what's the son of a schutta going to be, do you think? Anyway, you didn't answer my question."

"And you didn't answer mine. _I'm_ here because I'm looking for Jena."

Mira's eyebrows squeezed together. "What, on Kashyyyk?" she asked incredulously.

Atton heaved a bitter sigh. "No… we're on our way to the Unknown Regions… she seems to be stranded there, somehow. And we keep _stopping_ everywhere!" he asked begrudgingly, giving Revan a dirty look.

" 'Keep stopping'?" interjected the latter. "Atton, this is our _first_ stop. And it's not like it was something we _planned_…"

"Still…" grumbled Atton.

Mira glanced curiously at Revan. "So… who are your friends?" Mira asked Atton without taking her eyes off Revan.

Atton checked himself. "Right. Sorry. Everybody, this is Mira, the psychotic bounty hunter turned Jedi… This here is Admiral Carth Onasi…" Mira finally stopped looking at Revan to see who was being pointed out to her. "That's his son, Dustil…" Mira flashed a charming smile at him. "That pretty lady over there that you were just looking at is Liah, also known as Revan, also known as the former Dark Lord of the Sith…"

"Thanks for the intro, Jaq," hissed Revan. Mira gaped at her.

Ignoring Revan, Atton moved right along. "And of course, right behind her is…"

Mira's face lit up. "Mical!" she squealed. She ran over to him and hugged him fiercely. _Oh sure. _He_ doesn't get called names, tackled down to the ground or get his bloody ribs broken. When the hell did she start liking that space slug?_

Mical was grinning broadly. "Wonderful to see you again, Mira."

_What is he hitting on Mira now?_

Atton took a step forward. "Mira, what _are_ you doing here?" he insisted. "I mean, I know you told me you were headed to Kashyyyk, but come on! That was sixteen months ago! I never thought you'd _still_ be here!"

Letting go of Mical, Mira turned and shrugged. "Well, I wasn't planning on staying long… just had a couple Wookiees to talk to… but then I ran into Jolee and he took me on as his student. I figured I could use the extra training, because Jena never really had that much time for me, between Dantooine and Malachor and then you know… leaving for the Unknown Regions…" Atton's eyes wavered and dropped. He focused his attention on a rock that suddenly became very interesting to him, and desperately tried to keep his mind off the emptiness he felt when he thought of the way Jena had left… and the way he had left her. Mira sensed the change. She walked over to him, chuckled and added a little lower, "Besides, she was _way_ too wrapped up with you to have time to train me!" Still staring at the rock, Atton grinned.

Clearing her throat, Revan took a step forward. "Nice to meet you… Mira, was it?"

"Yeah… Hi." Mira shook Revan's hand. "Sorry about the… staring and all…"

Revan smiled pleasantly. "That's all right. I get that a lot."

Mira looked slightly hesitant. "So that was a lot of names Atton threw at me. I mean, what… should I call you?" she asked cautiously. "Revan, or…?"

Revan smiled thinly. "Revan is fine, but Liah is fine as well. You'll find most people I know call me Liah, but _others_…" she punched Atton in the stomach… "like to remind me of my past any chance they get." Atton repressed a groan with great difficulty. _She looks puny, but for a tiny woman, she sure can hit hard._

Mira smirked as she saw the look on Atton's face. "I see you've learned pretty quickly how to keep Atton in line," she commented to Revan, highly amused.

"What? Oh no, we go way back, don't we, Jaq?" said Revan, aiming her fist at Atton's shoulder. Atton ducked away quickly and Revan barely missed him, brushing her hand against his robe. He shot her a black look. _Why won't she quit announcing to everybody that we used to know each other? And will she ever stop calling me that?_

Before Mira had a chance to start wondering about the name, Revan asked her with the air of one who was hopeful, but had low expectations, "I don't suppose you'd happen to be a tech, would you?"

"No, sorry…" replied Mira thoughtfully. "I do know a good one though… only he's on Iridonia."

"Iridonia?" asked Revan doubtfully. "A Zabrak?"

Atton jumped in, in an effort to remain involved in the conversation. "His name is Bao-Dur. He's a… friend of ours. He traveled with Jena and the rest of us. He's Jena's _other_ padawan."

Revan looked pensive. "Well, I suppose Iridonia's not _that_ much of a detour… It's still on the way to the Unknown Regions…"

"What? Another stop? No!" cried Atton as soon as he realized where Revan's thoughts were headed. "We can't detour and stop for Bao-Dur. Look, I like the guy and all. I do. But we've wasted enough time as it is. I mean, aren't we forgetting a little someone called Jena, who we're supposed to rescue?"

Mira looked at Atton's outraged features and unabashedly laughed. "Still on that rescue Jena kick, are you, Atton?"

Revan's intonation was somewhat condescending, as though she was addressing a petulant five-year-old. "Jaq, we _are_ going to need a good tech if we don't want to risk getting stranded in the Unknown Regions. And this one has the advantage of already knowing the ship _and_ of being a Jedi. I think we'd be stupid _not_ to bring him along." Atton looked incensed. _Of course she would. For someone who's gone through all this trouble to get a group to go out and find Jena, she sure doesn't seem like she's in a big rush to actually find her. Makes me wonder… I never asked her why she abandoned her post to go out and look for Jena. Sure, she says they're friends, but if she left Carth behind to fight this… war… of theirs… why would she just go off and look for one of her friends who's missing?_

As Atton was deep in thought, Mira enquired eagerly, "The ship? You mean… are you guys traveling on the _Ebon Hawk_ again?"

Revan shot Mira an appraising glance. "Yeah… did you want to come with us?"

Mira's face lit up. "Sure! I wouldn't mind seeing Jena again, and I'd never pass up an opportunity to harass this guy here…" She turned and punched Atton in the stomach, in the same spot Revan had. Atton felt as though all the air had been knocked out of him. _Oh great. Now there are _two_ of them._ Mira glanced at her master questioningly. "Is it okay, Jolee?"

Jolee put a fatherly hand on Mira's shoulder. "Of course. You've learned about as much from me as I can teach you. Besides, I'm sure you could use a change in scenery. I know you're getting antsy here. Trees and tachs are all right for an old man like me, but not for a young girl like you."

Atton looked around at the misty forest and scoffed. 'Yeah, you could say _that_ again. This place is a little different from the Nar Shaddaa she's used to…"

"Well, we should probably head back to check on the status of the ship," commented Carth. "Want to walk back with us, Jolee?"

Jolee's lips curled into his usual friendly yet cynical smile. "Oh sure… not much else to do around here. Wouldn't hurt to actually see some light for a change."

Mira quickly turned, ran out to the hut and ran out again once she gathered up a few possessions. She rejoined the others, and all started walking back toward the lift. As she passed Atton, she unexpectedly and rather uncharacteristically pounced on him and hugged him, and said enthusiastically, "It's so great to see you again!"

Atton, not entirely displeased by this sudden show of affection, managed to hide his feelings well. "Yeah, let's see if you still think that ten minutes from now," he scoffed. _So _that's_ what it's like to have a woman touch me without it being an attempt to injure me… I was starting to forget. Now if only this was Jena, everything would be perfect._

Mira laughed, let go of Atton hurriedly, and after glancing to the front of the group, ran up ahead and caught up to Dustil. She tapped him on the shoulder and flashed him another charming smile. "So… Dustil, huh? Hi, I'm Mira," she said, shaking hands with him. Atton stood and watched, astounded and mildly impressed. _Looks like Mira's on the prowl. Wow, she really doesn't waste any time… I wonder if I should warn the kid about Bothan stunners and stun cuffs… _

The sound of badly oiled metallic feet creaked from behind. Atton sneered and mumbled, "If you're going to try to sneak up on me, you might want to have those feet of yours looked after."

"Statement: Stealth isn't my biggest concern, meatbag. If my master had not given me strict orders not to damage you, noisy feet would not have stopped me from doing away with you three standard hours ago."

"Well, _that's_ a relief," replied Atton sarcastically. "I always love having someone who hates me be in charge of determining whether I live or die. So tell me, psycho-droid… if Revan's your master, and Jena's also your master, whose orders are you going to be obeying when we find Jena again?"

"Condescending Response: The one you refer to as 'Revan' is my maker, and therefore remains my master first and foremost, no matter how many other meatbags may have claimed to be my master since."

Atton's face reddened. "_Claimed_? Jena's the one who reconstructed you! She gathered up all the parts to put you back together after you were dismantled, probably _by_ Revan! Jena's just as much your master as that little b—"

"Um… Atton?" began Carth, who had walked to the back of the group to investigate what the holdup was. He hesitated. "You… might want to back off a little… HK's been known to be a little… touchy where Liah is concerned. He doesn't take too kindly to her being insulted and has been known to suddenly forget a direct order or two once in a while."

"Oh yeah?" asked Atton angrily. "And how would you know this?"

Carth lifted up his sleeve and slowly uncovered a scar from a blaster shot that had gone through and through. "And I was just teasing her, too," he said quietly, watching the blood drain from Atton's face.

"Statement: That is why I only fired a warning shot. Disappointed Elaboration: Unfortunate that my master ordered me to stop."

A look of horror developed on Atton's face. _It shot Carth? She _loves_ Carth! This is not boding well for me. I'm suddenly a little less concerned about finding Jena than about living to see the day when we find her._ Atton quickly walked up ahead toward the front of the group and gladly hopped onto the lift.

As the group arrived at the _Ebon Hawk_, they found Zaalbar waiting for them on the platform. Atton, who had been keeping far from HK-47 since they left the Shadowlands found himself desperately trying to make out what Zaalbar was telling them, just so he wouldn't have to rely on the droid, but it was no use. He heard the familiar metallic footsteps walk up behind him. _Why does he always come up _behind_ me? Is it a coincidence, or does he act creepy on purpose? My credits are on the second option._

"Translation: The hyperdrive has been repaired. It seems the damage was relatively minor, and the technician feels it is possible that the little one could have managed the repairs alone while still in space." _T3 could've fixed…? Why did we have to land here, then?_

"Well, that's great, Rev…" quipped Atton, glaring at Revan. "Good thing we didn't listen to me and stay up there!"

"Shut up, Jaq," snapped Revan, trying to conceal her mild embarrassment by being particularly cross. "Why are you complaining? If we hadn't stopped, we wouldn't have met your little girlfriend. She tells me she's piloted this ship before. We'll be able to use her help for those times when you're hungover."

"Hey!" protested Atton. "I haven't touched a drop since we left Nar Shaddaa!"

Revan scoffed. "Yeah, that's because there's no alcohol on board. Don't even pretend you didn't know that. But it's not like we're not going to make stopovers in places where there _is_ some."

Atton's features hardened. "Stopovers? _More_ stops?"

Revan rolled her eyes. "You might want to start paying attention to conversations a bit more, Jaq, instead of just sitting and brooding over the fact that we're not getting to Jena fast enough. We're going to Iridonia, then to Coruscant to drop off Dustil. You _knew_ that. His master's expecting him there. And _then_ we're off to the Unknown Regions, but it's not like we'll be finding Jena as soon as we're there. It's a pretty big place, and it's uncharted territory. That's why it's called the _Unknown_ Regions!" She shook her head and threw her hands up in aggravation as she left Atton behind and went to bid Zaalbar farewell.

Atton glared at Revan as she walked away and rebelliously muttered to himself, "You could have just said 'Yes, we're making more stops'." Glancing apprehensively over his shoulder at HK, he made his way up the loading ramp, followed by Mira, Dustil and Mical. _At least I've lost my homicidal shadow…_

As he headed back to the cockpit, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and frowned slightly. "Wait, where are we going to _put_ you, Mira? The port side dorm is all full up. One of us is going to have to share the starboard dorm with Rev and Carth."

Dustil snorted. "All I know is I am _not_ sharing a dorm with them," he said emphatically. "I… um…" He blushed. "I walked in on them once." He shuddered. "Let's just say it was a lot more than I needed to see. That is _not_ an experience I'd like to repeat, thank you very much."

"Wow," commented Mira sympathetically. "That's a lot worse than what I had to put up with… The worst experience for me was the time I walked in on Atton and Jena making out in the cockpit. But at least all their clothes were on."

Mical fidgeted a little and seemed generally uncomfortable, though none noticed.

"Hey, hey!" interjected Atton, mildly annoyed. "Can we leave me and Jena out of this and stick to the topic at hand? Dustil, I don't think _any_ of us would like to experience that either. It wouldn't be any more pleasant for the rest of us, believe me."

Dustil rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, at least he's not your _father_."

"Good point," agreed Atton. He turned to Mira and Mical. "All right, any takers? I'm not particularly fond of the idea of witnessing my former boss and my drinking buddy getting freaky either…"

"Former boss?" wondered Mira. _Ah, damn. What did I just say? It's Revan's fault… with her behaving like we're old college buddies, I keep forgetting that not everybody knows about our history… _

"Never mind that," frowned Atton, angry with himself. "Mical and Mira… I'm afraid you'll have to flip for it. Though my vote's on sending Mical."

"Of course it is," drawled Mical coldly. "Force forbid you should be separated from your woman friends even in sleep. Well, 'flipping' will not be necessary. I can stay in the medical room. There's a bed there. You might however want to hope you don't get injured during this little trip of ours, Atton, because I'm certainly not moving over to make room for _you_."

Atton stared blackly at Mical. "Oh yeah? Let's see which ones of us gets injured _first_," threatened Atton, taking a step forward.

Before Mical got a chance to respond, Mira jumped in between the two. "Boys! Boys!" she protested. "Let's keep the testosterone levels to a minimum, shall we?" Atton looked at her, took a deep breath and backed away. "Good. All right, so right now it'll be Atton, Dustil and me in the portside room, Mical in the medical room, and the two breeding gizkas in the starboard dorm. Of course we're going to have this fun conversation _again_ once we pick up Bao… assuming he'll want to come with us, that is."

Atton snorted. "Of course he'll want to come with us. We're going to save his _General_." He rolled his eyes.

Mical sneered. "Are you jealous of _all_ men that care about Jena, or simply the ones you think may be better than you?"

"No, just the young half-wits who think they still have a shot with her and hit on her even though she's made it abundantly clear she wouldn't go for them if they were the last man in the galaxy," retorted Atton bitingly.

It was Mical's turn to take a menacing step forward. "Why you arrogant—"

"_Stop_ it!" snapped Mira. "Both of you." She scowled at them both until Mical stepped back and Atton moved his hand away from his hilt and folded his arms, looking displeased. "All right. Let's say we put Bao-Dur in with Carth and Revan. It will only be temporary anyway."

Atton, his eyes still locked with Mical's, commented, "That's true… it'll just be until we hit up Coruscant and drop off the runt." He broke eye contact and turned to look at Dustil.

"Hey!" protested the latter. "I'm twenty-two, for Force's sake."

Atton smiled derisively. "My point exactly: a runt," he reiterated.

Dustil pursed his lips and grumbled something about going to warm up the engines before disappearing into the cockpit.

"That _wasn't_ very nice," commented Mical coldly.

Atton shrugged, unabashed. "Since when do you care if I'm nice? You'd think you'd have come to expect it from me at this point."

Mical glowered at him for a moment or two, shook his head and walked off into the medical room. Left alone, Atton and Mira glanced at each other. She arched an eyebrow and sneered. "Nice to see that things are better than ever between you and Mical. You shouldn't lash out at Dustil just because you're annoyed with Mical."

"Thanks for the lecture, _mother_. I'll try to remember that," he replied bitingly.

"And don't lash out at me either," she retorted. "What is _with_ you, anyway? Maybe my memory's playing tricks on me, but you used to be a bit nicer to people. Not much, but a bit."

Atton shrugged sulkily, but did not say a word. The frown faded from Mira's face and she looked at him curiously. "It's Jena, isn't it? You're upset with everybody because of Jena."

"Well, of _course_ I am!" exploded Atton unexpectedly. "We're wasting all sorts of time picking people up and dropping them off. How the hell do you expect me to feel? For all I know, she could be dead, and we're using the _Ebon Hawk_ as some sort of transporter instead of using it to track her down."

Mira bit her lip. "You think she might be dead?" She looked slightly fearful.

The anger left Atton's eyes and was replaced by a dull, pained look. "I just don't know anymore. I mean, what am I supposed to think?" he said quietly. "Our bond was there one minute, and gone the next. I haven't sensed her presence in months, and neither has anyone else."

Mira glanced at Atton sympathetically. "Then if you think she might be dead… why are you still looking for her? Why haven't you given up?"

Atton dropped his gaze. "I… I can't. I have to keep hoping she's still alive. I love her. I…" He lifted his eyes up again defiantly. "I can't live without her. I know it's stupid, and if you tell anybody I told you that, the fact that you're a girl won't stop me from kicking your ass. Though I think it became pretty obvious when I just stopped working on the Telos restoration and drank… and _drank_."

Mira stared. "Is that what you were doing? But what about your promise to Jena?"

Atton shrugged. "What's the point of keeping a promise if the person you made the promise to is dead? Look, can we just drop it? I… I don't really feel like talking about this…" His eyes had dropped again and he was blinking suspiciously.

Mira nodded understandingly. "All right… so…" she glanced around struggling to find something adequate to say. She smiled. "You want to play pazaak? You must have found a new deck by now…"

Atton sneered. "Oh yeah, I've got one… otherwise I would have starved to death and my corpse would have been found in a gutter on Nar Shaddaa ages ago along with the rest of the filth."

Ignoring his last comment, Mira rummaged through her pockets. "Ah, hold on, I can't find my deck. I must have packed it away with the rest of my stuff. Tell you what, I'm going to go unpack, and I'll come back for a game of pazaak."

"That works," said Atton agreeably. Mira started walking away, and Atton called out after her, smiling faintly. "By the way…" he said half-reluctantly. "It's good to have you back."

"I know it is," she said with a mocking smile as she disappeared around the corner.

Atton smiled to himself. _Finally, someone who's on my side. She understands – she'll back me up when we're taking too long to get to Jena._ He sighed._ Jena… where _are_ you? I just need to know that you're alive…_ Atton distractedly pulled out his pazaak deck and started twirling one of the cards between his fingers. He suddenly felt as though he was being watched. He frowned and turned.

"What is it, Mical?" he asked the silhouette standing in the corridor leading to the medical room.

"Nothing," said Mical scathingly. "Just reflecting on how happy you must be… soon your _entire_ harem will be back together." Atton looked confusedly at Mical as the latter retreated to the medical room. _Just what in the hell is he on about?_


	8. Plus One, Minus One

**Chapter 8 – Plus One, Minus One**

"Dammit!" exclaimed Atton as he dropped his lightsaber. He pursed his lips and quickly bent down to pick it up. Revan looked at him with a mixture of contempt and derisiveness.

"I hope _this_ isn't how you're planning the help rescue Jena, Jaq," she taunted.

Atton glared at her and, without a word, determinedly gripped his lightsaber more firmly. He readjusted his stance and, frowning, waited for Revan to challenge him again. _We've been at this for two hours! Of course I'm going to start getting tired!_ He tried his best to ignore the nagging voice at the back of his mind that pointed out to him that it was hardly an excuse, as Revan still could spar with hardly any effort on her part. He narrowed his eyes and took a bold step toward Revan.

"Focus!" she warned as her lightsaber came into contact with his. Atton parried two attacks before dropping his lightsaber again. "I told you to focus!" Revan exclaimed, slightly exasperated.

"Shut up about focusing already!" shot Atton furiously. "How the hell do you expect me to focus if you keep on _talking_?"

Revan rolled her eyes. "That's the _point_, Jaq. You're supposed to be able to block out all distractions. And that's _including_ me talking to you. You seem to be doing progressively worse. You weren't nearly this bad an hour ago."

Atton ran his hand through his hair irritably. "Well, of _course_ I wasn't!" he yelled. "It's been two hours! I'm bloody tired!" Fuming, he reached down and grasped at his dropped lightsaber once again. As he moved the hilt toward his belt, clearly intent on putting his weapon away and bringing an end to the training session, Revan walked over to him and put her hand on his arm, stopping his movement.

"Don't," she said a little gentler. Their eyes locked and something in Atton's stare made Revan slowly withdraw her hand. "Look, I know you haven't had that much training… I mean, Jena could only do so much—"

Atton turned red. "There was nothing wrong with Jena's training," he snapped.

Revan sighed. "That's not what I meant to say. What I meant was she didn't have time to…" She paused, frowned slightly and suddenly smiled mockingly. "You two can come out of hiding," she said, still facing Atton, but evidently not addressing him. "I know you're there." She then turned toward the door, quickly mimicked by Atton, and they came face to face with Mira and Dustil, sheepishly walking around the corner, pazaak cards in hand.

"Sorry," mumbled Dustil. "We heard a bit of a commotion and we came to investigate…"

"That's all right," replied Revan, smiling. "I just figured Atton needed a bit more training… he's still pretty rusty," she said with a sideways glance at Atton.

Atton shot a baleful look at her. "Gee, thanks, Rev," he grumbled, hooking his lightsaber to his belt.

Ignoring Atton's venomous stares, Revan turned to Mira curiously. "Actually, Mira, I'd like to see what you can do, too. Would you mind sparring for a bit?"

"Sure!" replied Mira brightly, handing her pazaak cards over to Dustil for keepsake, and making her way toward the middle of the room. Atton snorted rudely and muttered, "Good luck!" before turning toward the door.

"Atton, wait!" Revan called out after him. "I was actually thinking she could spar with you."

"Aw, come on, Rev!" protested Atton, wiping his sweaty palms down the sides of his robe. "Weren't the past two hours enough of a—"

"Do it, _padawan_," ordered Revan. _I knew it. This whole taking me on as a student thing has nothing to do with wanting to train me more, but everything to do with finding an excuse to boss me around. _

"Fine… _fine_!" shrugged Atton, reaching for his lightsaber again as he walked toward the center of the room again.

Dustil sat up against a wall and watched as Atton and Mira both ignited their lightsabers simultaneously. With the air of one wanting to get things over quickly, Atton took a firm step toward Mira, and their weapons collided. Not taking her eyes off the pair, Revan backed away and stood next to Dustil, smiling broadly.

"Come on, Mira!" she encouraged. "Don't be afraid to show him who's boss!"

_'Show him who's boss?'_ Atton frowned and fought back with all his might. _I may lose to Revan, but I am _not_ losing to a girl._ He parried and hit Mira's lightsaber. _Well, at least not to a girl other than Revan. Revan barely qualifies anyway._ Their weapons collided a few times more, and Atton found himself forced to take a step back. He heard a low impish chuckle coming from his right side.

"Looks like you're about to get your ass handed to you, Jaq!" derided Revan.

Atton clenched his teeth. "I don't _think_ so!" he hissed determinedly. He swung his lightsaber faster and harder in an effort to regain his starting position. He managed to take a step forward, then another two as he forced Mira to retreat a little. At this point Revan, satisfied, called off the fight.

"Good work," she said, smiling. "Atton, I feared for your manly pride for a moment there… But at least you are becoming a lot more focused. And Mira… quite impressive! I can see why Jolee decided to take you on as a student."

Mira smiled, and Atton appeared to be significantly less annoyed. He however still hooked his lightsaber back onto his belt and commented, "All right well, wish I could say this had been pleasant, because it hasn't. I'd stay and chat, but I have piloting duties coming on." He turned and walked decisively toward the door, not about to let Revan stop him a third time.

Mira looked crestfallen. "But we were just getting started!" she commented disappointedly.

Atton scoffed. "Yeah, maybe _you_ were…" he mumbled, without bothering to turn around or making any particular effort to be heard.

Revan's shoulders shook with laughter over the contrast between their attitudes. "Tell you what," she told Mira. "Why don't we give Atton a break and get Dustil in on the action?" She turned to Dustil as she spoke those last words. "I know you're dying to," she added, smiling at the young man. Dustil quickly dropped both pazaak decks on the floor and got up in one swift move. He ran to the center of the room enthusiastically, stood across from Mira, grinning, and pulled out his lightsaber.

Atton chuckled to himself as he left the room. _Kid's a bit too eager, if you ask me… Mira will never go for that._ _He's making a bit of an idiot of himself._ Atton smiled condescendingly, oblivious to the fact that he had been every bit as idiotic with Jena, and just as overly eager to please her when they traveled together.

Leaving the sounds of battle behind, he made his way over to the cockpit. "Move over, it's my turn!" he announced the instant he walked through the door.

Carth, sitting in the pilot's seat, glanced over his shoulder and sighed in relief. "Good. I thought I was about to fall asleep." His features were slightly drawn and he did appear to be thoroughly exhausted.

Atton looked at him confusedly. "You mean you never sleep while sitting in the cockpit?"

Carth peered at him uneasily, suddenly reluctant to get up from his seat. "You mean you _do_?"

Atton shrugged, unperturbed. "Sure. Not like I had much of a choice before, being the only pilot and all… Plus, once this thing is in hyperspace and on auto-pilot… What else are you going to do?"

Carth raised an eyebrow. "Well, that _might_ explain all the crashes…" he said thoughtfully.

"Hey!" protested Atton. "I never once crashed because I was asleep. I was wide awake for those. _Believe_ me. Besides… I'm a pretty light sleeper, so any sounds or alarms coming from the panel would wake me up." He crept up right next to Carth. "Now, get out of my chair," he ordered.

Carth obediently got up and stood behind the seat as Atton let himself drop down on the cushy leather with a sigh of contentment. _No more sparring… at last!_ _I'd like to see her come get me now!_ The corners of Carth's lips curled into a jesting smile. "Why are you so sweaty anyway? Been spending more time in the cargo hold with Liah?" he said, winking significantly.

Atton looked mildly disgusted. "Okay, it's just disturbing that you're making jokes like that about your _own_ girlfriend," he replied, putting his feet up on the control board. "And yes, I was, if you must know," he added. "It was a bloody nightmare. Revan's sadistic. I don't understand why you'd want to spend time with this woman _on purpose_." Carth smirked. "Mind you," mused Atton, "she does treat you a hell of a lot better than she treats me." He moved his hand to his pocket and winced slightly from a pulled muscle in the arm. He held up the pazaak deck he had retrieved from his robe and asked, glancing up at Carth, "I don't suppose you play?"

Carth shook his head. "Nah… pazaak kind of bores me. But by all means, don't let me stop you if you want to play. You seem to enjoy playing by yourself, for some reason… Which I think would make this game even more boring." He turned around and walked to the door. "Where's Liah at now?" he asked.

"Still in the cargo hold," replied Atton absent-mindedly, his thoughts already focused on counting cards. _Eleven…_ "She sure likes watching others spar, that one. First she got me and Mira to face off, but then she sucked in your kid. He and Mira were about to get into it when I left." _Sixteen… What do I have? A +6 card? That's no good… When the hell did I pick up that crappy card? I miss my good deck…I really hope Jena didn't lose it. _His thoughts were distracted when he noticed from the corner of his eye that Carth had turned around and sat in the co-pilot's seat. "What are you doing?" asked Atton, suddenly lifting his eyes off his cards. "Haven't you had enough of this place?"

"A bit," admitted Carth, putting his feet up just as Atton had. "But I'm not sleepy, and well… you've experienced how… _intense_ Liah can get. Those kids won't be out of that cargo hold for hours."

"Sounds like you've experienced this first hand," quipped Atton, smirking. "Never mind," he quickly added when his gaze met Carth's mischievous eyes. "I actually _really_ don't want to know anything having to do with you and Rev. It's bad enough I have to see the two of you together all the time; I really don't need details of what goes on behind closed doors. That would just give me mental images, and I'd like to be able to get to sleep without waking up screaming." He glanced back down to the cards on his lap. "You _sure_ you don't want to play?" he endeavored, grinning.

Carth sighed and shrugged. "I might as well," he said regretfully. "Not much else I can do around here, except talk to Mical, and… well…" Carth looked embarrassed and left his sentence hang.

Atton nodded in understanding as he started shuffling the cards. "And he's about as much fun as flossing banthas," he said, finishing Carth's sentence. The latter smiled uncomfortably, indicating that Atton had voiced his thoughts exactly. Atton continued, "Plus, as an added bonus for me, he thinks I'm the biggest scum in the galaxy and that I'm completely unworthy to lick the crud off of Jena's boots. Which, between you and me" – he scratched the back of his head awkwardly and grimaced – "is kind of true… But still… the fact that he keeps reminding me of that makes him a royal pain in the backside." Carth nodded sympathetically, and Atton dealt the cards. They both gathered up their hands and Atton's face grew sober as he gazed down at the cards between the two of them.

"So," began Carth, after uninterestedly glancing at his cards, "you must be pretty excited at the idea that you might see Jena soon…"

Atton peered over his cards with narrow eyes. "Carth, you seem to be unaware of the fact that you're not supposed to _talk_ while playing pazaak. You're supposed to be counting cards." _Granted that wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that I don't really want to talk about Jena right now. _

"Oh. Sorry." Carth brought his eyes back down to the cards he held in his hand. The two men played silently for a moment, Atton looking more serious than Carth had ever seen him. Atton slapped a card down in front of him. Carth, not taking his eyes off his hand added, "Well… _aren't_ you?"

Atton sighed loudly, threw his cards down, pulled Carth's right out of his hands and gathered up his deck. "All right, all right," he grumbled, putting his cards away in his pocket. "I get it. Clearly you're in a chatty mood and don't want to play."

Carth smiled apologetically. "Sorry. Like I said… pazaak bores me."

"And you're dead set on ruining it for the rest of us who do want to play and who aren't in a chatty mood. Got it. Fine." Atton sighed loudly. "_Yes_, I'm excited at the thought of seeing Jena… assuming she's still alive when we get there. The way things are headed, you and Revan will have grandchildren before we get to her."

Carth chuckled. "Oh come on, it's not that…" He suddenly stopped and frowned. "Wait a minute, what do you mean, 'grandchildren'? What are you implying?"

Atton quickly responded, "Nothing, nothing… just… bad choice of words…" _How could he possibly not have noticed his son and Mira hanging off each other all the time? Mind you, in his defense, they're not really hanging off each other per se… they're just… hanging together. A LOT. No point in worrying the poor guy. He's got enough to deal with, what with being practically married to Lord Revan. What a nightmare that must be!_ Atton closed his eyes, searching his words. "Don't mind anything I say. I guess I'm just… worried… that we might not…"

"We'll find her," assured Carth hurriedly.

"You can't know that," muttered Atton weakly. "We have no idea where she is… we've got nothing to go on… All we know is the general area where she was headed when Revan saw her last… before we lost contact. We can't even know if she's still…" Atton swallowed.

"We'll find her," repeated Carth firmly.

Atton stared blankly ahead of him, trying to let Carth's words give him hope, but he felt that the effort was pointless at that moment. He was too drained… too dispirited… and too tired. Definitely too tired. _I wish I could be as certain as he is…_ He blinked slowly. _Man, I'm exhausted. Maybe going sparring with Revan for two hours before my piloting shift wasn't such a good idea… Not like she'd have listened to me anyway, if I had made the error of protesting. She can be so…_ He blinked again, his eyelids taking a bit longer to reopen. _I can't believe I'm stuck in the cockpit with… _Blink. _The one guy on the ship who doesn't like pazaak…_ Blink. _Even Mical would…_ Atton closed his eyes once more and fell asleep.

* * *

It was late in the evening in the Ithorian Compound vivarium. Atton was very tired from his day. He had been up since the crack of dawn that morning, doing various chores, and he had run out to the surface accompanied by Carth to take a look around and determine the next step to take with the Telos restoration. It had been a particularly long day. Atton glanced up at the clock. It was ten o'clock. Atton bade Chodo Habat good night and turned to leave. He was going home. _I must be getting old if it's ten o'clock and all I can think about it getting home to sleep. I mean, it might make more sense if I at least had someone to go home to…_ He closed his eyes and smiled sadly as he stopped to sense the presence that always hovered around him. _Still there, as always…_ The sadness slowly drifted away from his smile as he concentrated on their bond._ There you are, babe… Still hanging on, I see… It's been a year, Jens… When are you coming home? I miss you like you wouldn't believe._ He gasped as he suddenly felt an overpowering sensation of warmth. He forced himself to keep his eyes closed, knowing that if he opened them, reality would set in. With his eyes shut, he almost felt as though she was right next to him… could almost feel her breath on his neck… could almost feel her lips on his… almost. He shook his head and groaned. _I love you too, Jena. I miss you… please, please come home._ The minute the thought crossed his mind, he felt guilty. _I'm sorry; I shouldn't be thinking that… it's not fair to you. I know you want to see me as badly as I want to see you. You do what you have to do. Just… try to make it fast, will you? This is even harder than I thought it'd be… It's been months, and… every time I go to bed, all I can think about is that night you were there with me… You'd better clear up some room on your calendar when you come back, because I'm dragging you into that room and we're not coming out for three days._

He chuckled to himself, knowing full well that she couldn't hear him, but at the same time knowing that talking to her like this and pretending she could hear him was the only way he could stay sane…

He arrived at his apartment, unlocked the door and heaved a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him. _Well, one more day over… One more day closer to Jena coming back – whenever that may be. I wish there was some way I could actually talk to her. This bond thing can only do so much. All it's telling me is that she's still alive. Which is good, obviously, but…_ He sighed. _I really wonder sometimes if she needs my help. I mean – she _has_ needed it in the past. Maybe I should just forget about this stupid useless crap I do here and go after her. Maybe… maybe that's what she was expecting me to do all along. Maybe she was hoping I would. Maybe…_ He frowned. _No… no, I'm not making any sense. I am needed here and she made me promise to stay. I have to stay. I promised her. As long as she's alive, I have to keep on doing this. I'd hate to have to explain to her why I suddenly stopped doing the one simple thing she asked me to do._ He chuckled and addressed the empty room. "Sorry, babes, I know you were out there risking your life every single day, and you only asked me to do _one_ thing, but… well… I just didn't feel like it anymore." He laughed. "Yeah, like _that_ wouldn't land me in the kath hound pen for the next fifteen years," he muttered to himself with a mocking smile. Still grinning over the thought of having to explain to Jena why he had abandoned his position, he walked over to his bed, rummaging through his pockets. He pulled out a handful of credits and slapped them down on his bedside table. One of them fell under the bed. He knelt down and reached in… and pulled out a /- 1 pazaak card. Frowning, he sat down onto the floor, studying the card closely. _It's from my old deck. What…?_ He suddenly realized what had happened. Nothing had been moved in the apartment ever since that last night he had spent there with Jena. He had gathered up his pazaak cards before he left and set them down on Jena's things… but he must have missed one. He wasn't entirely sure how it had gotten there in the first place, but the mess around him clearly indicated how it had remained in its position. He wordlessly stared at the card, suddenly discouraged. That night seemed so long ago. When _would_ she be coming back?

Lifting his eyes away from the card, a confused look appeared on his face. Something was off. It could hardly be described as a disturbance in the Force. It was more like a sudden void in it. For the first time in months, Atton felt very much… alone. His eyes widened when he realized what was missing.

"Jena?" he whispered through white lips.

He uneasily laughed at himself. _Of course she's not gone… she'll be back any minute. You'll see… Just because you can't sense her doesn't mean she's… I mean she _can't_ be…_ He shook his head. _Of course she can't be._ He let out a nervous chuckle. _Won't I feel like the galaxy's biggest moron when the bond comes back!_ He sat up expectantly. "Any minute now," he muttered… He absent-mindedly twirled the pazaak card between his fingers. A few moments went past. "Any minute now," he repeated with already less assurance… "Jena, _please_," he whispered desperately.

"Atton?" said a voice behind him. He felt a nudge on his shoulder. "Atton?" repeated the voice.

"Atton!" said Carth again, still shaking Atton's shoulder. "Hey! Atton! Wake up!"

* * *

Atton opened his eyes and saw Carth smirking down at him. "I thought you said you were a light sleeper!" commented the admiral. Atton blinked and quickly turned away when he felt a cold tear roll down his cheek. _Can't let Carth see me crying over a stupid dream… no matter how accurate and vivid it was. It wouldn't be as bad as if it was Revan, but it would still be bad enough._ He casually wiped his tear away, making it look as though he was rubbing his eyes to wake up. Despite not having noticed anything, Carth still looked sympathetically at him. "You must be really tired from all that sparring with Liah. Tell you what, why don't you go lie down for a bit… I'll take over. I can handle piloting for a few more hours. You need more rest than I do, I think." 

Atton nodded, not wishing to talk lest his voice betray his distress. He got up and wordlessly left the cockpit. He had been trying his best to forget about that night. He had spent months drowning his sorrows in juma juice in an attempt to forget it. Yet there it was still staring him in the face after all this time.

In a daze, he walked through the main hold and, where he should have turned toward the port side dormitory, kept heading in the direction of the engine room instead. He walked past the medical room, deep in thought. Mical, who was by the door at the time, peered curiously at him as he walked past. "Aren't you supposed to be piloting, Atton?"

Atton shook his head violently, suddenly realizing where he was. "No, I… sent to bed…" he stammered. "I must've forgotten to turn down the corridor. Huh."

Mical's features showed signs of what could only be described as concern. "Atton, are you sure you're all right?"

Atton brushed him off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just fine. Just a bit tired I guess. Just need to rest a bit and…" He stopped mid-sentence and frowned. "You know, I just noticed something… I haven't seen you meditate since that first day I was on the ship. Seems to me you never did anything else before… I kept interrupting you. Is my timing getting better?"

Mical smiled thinly. "I think you may be giving yourself entirely too much credit, Atton."

Atton's eyes narrowed. "So I _am_ right. You _have_ been meditating less. How come the change?"

Mical shrugged, unconcerned. "I've had things on my mind. Besides, who are you to judge me? I've never seen _you_ meditate!"

"Well… no! But that's the point… I never used to in the first place. Whereas you… you always used to do it. Even back in the day, you and Jena would always meditate together."

Mical flinched slightly at the sound of Jena's name. He sneered. "Yes, and I suppose you'd know a thing or two about that, now wouldn't you?" he implied sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Atton, frowning. _Did he… see me? When I used to look at them?_

"Nothing. Never mind," dismissed Mical. He forced a smile. "You should get some rest. You look… perturbed."

"Yeah… yeah, I should," agreed Atton. He turned around and made his way back to the corridor leading to his dorm. He walked in, closed the door behind him and glanced apprehensively at the bed. _Not so sure about that… what if I have that dream again?_ He shivered. _No, I can't go back to sleep… but I need to rest. I…_ He stopped and stared at the floor in front of him. _Well, I suppose there's no harm in trying… it certainly seemed to work for Jena and Mical…_ Shrugging, he sat down on the floor and adopted the same position he had often seen the others assume when they were meditating. _Let's see what that's all about…_ He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to reconnect himself to the Force. He breathed in and out a few times. He was already feeling a little more grounded, a little more at peace. Random images suddenly started rushing through his mind – some he recognized, others he didn't. _This is weird… I hope I don't find myself thinking about that dream I had…_The images started slowing down and he started recognizing more and more of them: being locked in the force cage on Peragus… locked in the force cage on Citadel Station… locked in the force cage in the Telos Jedi Academy… _I'm starting to see a pattern forming here…_ Jena yelling at him for fighting with Mical… Himself pulling Jena toward him and kissing her… His heart started racing faster. It felt so _real_. The images continued to cycle on: Kreia telling him to stay away from Jena… Mira running toward the _Ebon Hawk_ on Nar Shaddaa to tell them Jena had been kidnapped… Himself and Jena sitting by the brook on Dantooine, laughing… Jena, unconscious on the ground after her encounter with the Jedi Council… Jena crying in the port side dorm on Malachor… Jena… Jena… Jena!

The images suddenly slowed down and he found himself peering into the old apartment he had lived in on Telos. Pazaak cards were strewn everywhere and he lay next to Jena on the small bed, holding her in his arms. She was smiling and she looked like she was about to fall asleep. She suddenly opened her eyes, glanced up at him mischievously, and said, _"Well one thing's for sure… you're never going to get rid of me. Not with that bond of ours."_

Atton pretended to look crestfallen. _"Dammit! There go my plans…"_

She smiled and kissed him softly. _"Shut up, pazaak boy! Or maybe I _will_ hide from you!"_ she said teasingly.

_"You think you can hide from _me_?"_ he replied smugly, arching his eyebrow and moving in even closer to her.

She smirked. _"Oh, don't tempt me! There are ways, and I'm not afraid to use them!"_

He caressed her cheek softly and gazed into her brown eyes. _"Is that so?"_ he said, his hand moving up toward her hair. _"Well, in that case, maybe I should remind you again why you _shouldn't_ hide from me."_ He kissed her neck and slowly made his way to her lips. She chuckled gleefully as he rolled back on top of her.

The scene started getting blurry again and random images once again started rushing through Atton's mind. _No… No! I was just getting to the good part! Come on!_ The images became less and less recognizable, until Atton found himself opening his eyes.

"Dammit!" he spat, frustrated. He got up, walked to his bed, and sat back down again, looking morose. _What was the point of this? Why would I even be thinking about this? I mean, don't get me wrong… it was nice and all, but why…?_ He absent-mindedly dug into his pockets and fished out his pazaak deck. He pulled out the top card and just as he was about to start twirling it nervously between his fingers, glanced at it. His glance turned into a stare when he noticed which card he held. He had kept it in a separate pocket for months, until recently, when it had found its way to his deck. He studied the card closely for a few moments and smiled faintly.

_Plus one, minus one…I'm currently minus one Jena, but there are always ways to flip the card and turn the minus into a plus._ _'There are ways, and I'm not afraid to use them!' Is that what she's been doing? Hiding? Then… then if that's the case… She's still alive! _

"I might want to tell Revan about this…" he muttered. "But why would Jena be hiding from me?"

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Thanks so much for all the reviews and the kind words I've been getting here and on the Obsidian Entertainment board! For those of you who may be concerned that I'll be giving up writing this story... well, that's just not going to happen. :P I've been very busy recently (life happens), but rest assured, I'm still working on this fic any chance I get. It's also taking a bit longer for me to post chapters, but then again, my chapters have been progressively getting longer. Much, MUCH longer. Anyway, please feel free to write reviews or drop me an email... I love hearing what people think about my story so far! 

_Edit June 9:_ It has been brought to my attention that apparently juma juice is a _non_-alcoholic beverage! Who knew? Apparently not many people did, as in over 160 pages of fic, this is the _first_ time this was mentioned to me. :P This seems to be a common error, as I have seen juma juice referred to as alcoholic in many, many fics I've read. Oh well, no matter... I will correct any future chapters, and when I have time (whenever that may be), I'll go back and correct the previous chapters. (thank you "Jedi Revan Onasi" for mentioning this to me... and no, Atton's not _that_ much of a cheap drunk that he'd get wasted on non-alcoholic drinks. hehehe ) Fortunately, I was planning on having him drink something _other_ than juma the next time he got drunk, so it's all good. ;)

SS


	9. Laundry and Liquor

**Chapter 9 – Laundry and Liquor**

"You meditated?" Revan asked skeptically. "_You_?"

Atton sighed. He had assumed that Revan would be annoyed at the fact that he had just interrupted her sparring match with Dustil—Mira watching from the sidelines—but he hadn't expected that specific question.

"Yes," he replied, irritated. "I thought I'd give it a shot. That's not the point. The point is, I think she's hiding. She might not…"—He sounded vaguely hopeful—"She might not be dead."

"Oh… well, I know _that_," replied Revan, smirking.

Atton gaped at Revan for an instant. His mouth then shut suddenly and his nostrils flared. "You knew… you knew she was just hiding?" he asked violently.

"Of course I knew!" snapped Revan. "Wasn't one of the first things I told you the fact that I didn't know where she was, but that I didn't think she was dead? I knew she'd be hiding… That's why I sent Jena instead of someone else. Instead of going myself." Revan's expression grew slightly bitter for a moment, but immediately went back to normal. "Jena has an uncanny ability to hide from Force sensitives. I guess it's something she picked up from having cut herself off from the Force before. I'm not sure how it works… she never fully explained it to me; only that she can _disappear_, in a way, and no one can sense where she is. That was an ability that would come in handy for the mission she went on. That's why I asked her to go." Revan stared at the ground and muttered absent-mindedly, "Probably best that she did instead of me." She looked up at Atton again and said, "I wasn't sure if it had affected your Force bond, which is why I sought you out in the first place."

"Were you _ever_ planning on telling me any of this?" asked Atton, vexed.

"Not really," replied Revan frankly. "To be quite honest, I'm not sure I should even be saying this much. Jena's mission is still ongoing, and the less we talk about it, the better. It's very important that she comes through for us, for many reasons."

"Why can't you tell me about this? What is she doing? I think I have a right to know what's going on!" flared Atton.

Mira and Dustil glanced at each other uncomfortably and, with a look, mutually agreed to leave the two alone. They wordlessly exited the cargo hold, unnoticed by either Atton or Revan, who stared fixedly at each other.

"No you don't have that right," flared Revan. "Not if it can endanger both Jena and…" She hesitated. "And the mission," she added, her eyes suddenly dropping.

Atton snorted. "How could my knowing possibly—"

"That little card trick of yours can only do so much, Jaq," interrupted Revan harshly. "There _are_ people who would be able to see past it."

Atton stared blackly at her. "How do you…?" he started asking, then stopped and sneered. "Never mind. I _know_ how you know about my card counting trick. Couldn't stay out of my head, Jedi-like. What were you hoping to find, _Lord Revan_?" he asked bitingly.

Revan blushed, looking every bit like a child caught stealing candy. "I had to see… had to know…" she stammered.

"Had to know what?" demanded Atton.

Revan lifted her head back up and looked defiantly into Atton's eyes. "I had to know if that redemption act of yours was for real!" she replied hotly.

"Why wouldn't it be for real?" he asked contemptuously.

"I don't know!" said Revan, exasperated. "Because I know who you are… and _I don't trust you, Jaq_."

Atton clenched his teeth. "Yeah? Well, guess what! The feeling's mutual. I don't buy your little 'saved Jedi' act either, because I _also_ know who you really are. In fact, not only do I not trust you or any decision you make, but if anything happens to Jena, I will also hold you personally responsible."

Revan scoffed and smiled derisively. "What a great master/padawan relationship we have. You can't possibly mean _that_!"

"Why not?" demanded Atton. "You're the reason why she went to the Unknown Regions in the first place. She only left to help you. She only left _me_ to go help _you_," he snarled. "From where I stand, you're the person who's responsible for everything bad that's ever happened to me in my entire life. _You're_ the one who turned me into the twisted killing machine I used to be. _You're_ the one who took away the only person I've ever cared about and who's ever cared about me—the only one who ever thought Jaq Rand was actually worth something more than someone to use in order to gain more power." He laughed sardonically. "Or at least the only one I didn't end up _killing_. You say you don't trust me? Lady, you better _start_ trusting me… because if I couldn't be trusted, I would've snapped your neck the minute I realized who you were. And you wouldn't have seen it coming either, because that's how you taught me to kill… to strike when they least expected it! 'Lord Revan's favorite little killer'—did you know that's what they called me back in the day?"

Revan turned red and stood staring at Atton's furious face for an instant, biting her bottom lip. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears. _What the…? No, I did _not _just make the Dark Lord cry. What happened to her? Where's the woman I once saw Force choke a guy just for disagreeing with her in front of Malak?_

"Aw, dammit, Rev!" he protested awkwardly, suddenly appeased. _Have I really become that much of a sucker that I can't even stay mad at a woman I hate if she cries? I mean, I do still_ hate _her, right?_ He sighed and felt as though he ought to be putting his arms around her, or anything at all other than just stand there and feel uncomfortable; but the mere thought of touching Revan in a soothing manner struck him as quite odd. He fidgeted for a moment and finally opted to clumsily pat her on the shoulder.

"I'm… I'm sorry, J—Atton," she whispered. "I had no idea… I didn't know… Well, maybe I did know, but I didn't care… I care _now_…" she said incoherently.

"What are you talking about, Rev?" said Atton softly, wildly hoping that she would start making some sense soon.

"I'm talking about _me_… what I did to you… then… I'm truly sorry. I… It's not often that I come face to face with the results of my past actions. You were a good guy when you fought for me. During the Mandalorian Wars… I never met you, but I had heard about you… and when you joined my side during the Jedi Civil Wars… you were so… _loyal_." Atton scoffed. _'Loyal'? Now_ there's _a word that's never been used to describe me before._ Revan sniffled. "I made a comment about you to Malak when I first met you. He… he wasn't too pleased. A bit jealous." She laughed amidst her tears. "Okay, really jealous."

"Jealous? Of _what_?" he asked, bewildered.

She smiled coyly and looked down. "I… well, I already told you I thought you were hot. I may have… elaborated a little on the topic with him." She chuckled guiltily. "I _was_ trying to make him jealous. For no good reason, really… I just liked watching him squirm." Her smile faded. "I really was mean, wasn't I?" she muttered.

"You weren't _that_ bad…" lied Atton. He caught Revan's eye and smirked. "Oh, who am I kidding? You _were_ that bad… and then some!" He laughed a little, and suddenly grew serious. "But Rev… about Jena…"

Revan shook her head and her lip quivered slightly. "I really can't tell you, J—Atton…"

"I know, I know," he said quickly, deathly afraid she was going to start crying again. "If you think it would put her in danger… I guess I don't need to know," he said in an uncharacteristically reasonable tone. "I just… she _is_ still alive, right?" he asked with a note of desperation in his voice.

Revan sighed. "I hope so," she said quietly. "But your vision… I think the Force is trying to tell you something. Maybe… if you focused…"

Atton cringed. "Rev, you're starting to make me hate that word."

She smiled. "Fine. Maybe if you _meditated_ more… who knows, maybe you might get a hint of where she is."

"Yeah, maybe," said Atton, a little dejected. He made an effort to crack a smile. "You know I still don't trust you, right?"

"I wouldn't expect you to," she said mockingly. "Besides… after Carth, I'm used to not being trusted." She smiled mischievously. "I wouldn't have it any other way, J—Atton."

Atton rolled his eyes and sighed resignedly. "You can call me Jaq if you really want, Rev."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "But I thought you hated that name."

"I do. But I hate it less than 'Jatton'."

Revan burst into peals of laughter. Her smile suddenly faded. "So… are _we_ going to be okay?" she asked earnestly.

Atton shrugged. "Sure we are," he answered gruffly. "I don't trust you, you don't trust me, but we seem to understand each other a little better. Just for Force's sake, don't stop hating me, because then I'd _really_ be confused."

"I think I can handle _that_," said Revan, smirking.

* * *

Atton sat silently in the pilot's seat, staring off into space, absent-mindedly twirling his plus one, minus one pazaak card in his hand. He had resumed piloting duties, and Carth had long left him to his pazaak obsession to go see Revan. _Tick… Tick… What do you know—there are ticks in the power coupling after all. Guess it needs some maintenance. I'll have to look… Better yet, we're almost on Iridonia. I'll have Bao-Dur look at it, assuming he's crazy enough to embark on this insane expedition with us._

He was glad he was left alone. At his best, Atton could never have been described as sociable, but he felt even less so than usual. He needed some time alone to think. He glanced thoughtfully at his pazaak card and sighed. _So she thinks that Jena's not hiding from me per se…well, that's certainly good… But how the hell are we supposed to find her if she doesn't want to be found?_ He leaned his head back on the headrest. He frowned and peered down at his foot. _And now the insole in my boot is bunched up. I really should get a new pair…I think I've been dragging the same pair since the end of the Mandalorian Wars… _Sighing, he pulled his tattered boot off his foot and reached in to adjust the rebellious insole. The sudden arrival of a presence behind him gave him a start. Pursing his lips, and still holding his boot, he turned and waited for an explanation. Mical silently stood staring at him. "I… was wondering how much longer until we arrived," Mical finally said awkwardly when he realized that Atton wasn't going to say anything.

_Right. Like that's why you're here._ "Not long," Atton replied briefly. "A few minutes. We're just coming up on Iridonia now."

"Good... good…" said Mical absent-mindedly. He then stared silently at Atton again.

"Um… is there anything else I can help you with?" asked Atton after an uncomfortable minute or two.

Mical shook his head violently, looking as though he had been pulled from deep thoughts. "I apologize," he said slowly. "I… That's not really the reason I came by."

"I could hardly tell," quipped Atton, smirking.

Mical looked puzzled. "I… I heard you had a vision of sorts…"

"Yeah," replied Atton. "I was meditating, and…" Mical raised a dubious eyebrow over Atton's words. "What?" protested Atton. "I _was_! Why does nobody believe me? As I was saying, I was meditating and I just had a vision of something that happened with Jena in the past."

"_Something_?" asked Mical implicitly, his second eyebrow rising as well.

"Not _that_," replied Atton, rolling his eyes. "A _conversation_ we had. I only _wish_ it had been _that_. Although, now that you mention it," he continued mercilessly, "it _was_ right after… as well as right _before_ what you're implying." He smiled wickedly.

Mical coughed and Atton noticed the vein in his temple beating slightly as his complexion turned a bright red. Mical pursed his lips and looked as though he was fighting back some words with great effort. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and his color returned back to normal. "Right," he said, shutting his teeth with a snap, inhaling deeply again. "Did it feel more like a vision, or was it more like a memory? Did it feel as though it was something you were remembering or more like something you were being shown?"

Atton turned back toward the control board, and began landing procedures. He wrinkled his nose as he tried to remember. "I really think it was more something that was being shown. If it was just something I was remembering I _probably_ wouldn't have chosen that specific memory…"

"Right," said Mical quickly, hoping to interrupt Atton before he started listing off other memories he would have preferred. "That does sound like a vision…" He looked pensive. "Well, the Jedi masters on Dantooine used to always tell their students to be mindful of the future and of the past, but never at the detriment of the present."

Atton blinked. "Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" _What's a 'detriment'?_

Mical's serene expression abandoned his features once again as he exploded. "I can't believe how utterly _useless_ you are!" He exhaled, clasped his hands together, and spoke deliberately. "Let me put this in terms your vulgar, vestigial brain can understand: try focusing on what's happening to her right now, genius!" Mical turned and promptly left the cockpit. Atton, realizing his boot was still on his lap, threw it after him. It crashed against the wall by the door and fell to the floor with a thud.

"DAMN CRYPTIC JEDI!" he bellowed. _'Useless'… Yeah, cause_ he's _been so very useful during this trip._

"What the hell's been going on here?" demanded Revan as she walked into the cockpit and tripped on Atton's boot. She frowned, picked it up and brought it back to him. "Your footwear is almost as attractive as your robe."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically as he snatched the boot from Revan's hands and absent-mindedly dropped it back onto his lap and put his hand back on the control. _Glad to see things are back to normal. This whole crying Revan thing was giving me the creeps._

"Were you yelling at Mical?" she enquired.

Atton shrugged. "Who else around here would I be yelling at? Other than you, I mean… and I guess the droids. And sometimes Mira, but I never really mean it with her."

Revan rolled her eyes. "You might want to watch that temper of yours… it might get you in trouble one day."

Atton snorted. "Oh, don't _you_ start!" he warned. He concentrated on landing the ship as Revan smiled amusedly behind his back. "Well, what a friendly-looking planet this is," he commented sarcastically as soon as he had landed. "Bao-Dur must have felt right at home on Malachor! Hard to believe he was so hell-bent on blowing it up."

Revan peered out the window. "Oh come on, Jaq, it's not that bad… I've been to planets that were far worse than this. Tatooine is at least as bad, and a lot of people live there."

"Not by choice," quipped Atton, putting his boot back on. "So do you guys actually know where you're going to look, or…? Cause you know, that whole 'Have you seen a Zabrak' routine might not work so well here…"

"Nah," replied Revan nonchalantly. "I figured we'd start here, and then hit up every settlement around the planet after."

Atton glanced over his shoulder at Revan, who looked back at him with a serious face. "Rev, I know you're kidding, but it's just _not_ funny," he said.

Revan laughed. "_I_ thought it was… Anyway, the reason why I had you land here is because Mira said she knew where to find your Bao-Dur. Apparently she's kept better contact with your 'friends' than either you or Mical has."

Atton shrugged. "Well, they all hated me."

"I couldn't possibly imagine why," derided Revan. "Anyway, Carth, Mira and I will go off looking for your buddy. You, Mical and Dustil can stay at the ship with the droids, or wander around town… so long as you don't get lost or end up getting arrested. Because you _know_ I won't bail you out, Jaq." She wrinkled her nose. "And for Force's sake, borrow an extra robe from Dustil and get this one _cleaned_, because it's still beyond revolting."

Atton rolled his eyes and sighed heavily as he headed to the port side dorm. _Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag… 'Watch your temper, Jaq!' 'Get your robe cleaned, Jaq!' 'Don't get arrested, Jaq!' I'm glad I'll never have to deal with her again once all this is over._ He walked through the door and practically ran head on into Dustil.

"Oh, hey, kid…" Atton said casually. "Listen, Rev really wants me to get my robe cleaned while we're here… Apparently, she has a sensitive nose or something. Anyway, as I'm sure there's not a person alive or droid on board who wants to see me naked, I'm going to need to borrow some clothes from you, if that's okay." Dustil looked at Atton, rather unimpressed. "Hey," continued Atton. "I'm not crazy about the idea either. But as I was a little short in the category of worldly goods when your stepmom-to-be picked me up, this is all I've got to keep me decent. I used to have this really cool jacket, but Force knows what happened to _that_."

Without a word, Dustil turned around and started digging through his footlocker, tossing a few articles of clothing onto the floor. Atton smiled faintly, not being able to resist comparing the scene to another similar one involving Jena. _I'll pick Jena in the cargo hold any day over Dustil in the portside dorm. Oh man, I really hope she still has that dancer's outfit…_

As Dustil's rummaging carried on, Atton started to impatiently fidgeting with his robe and tapping his foot lightly. Dustil finally pulled some dark fabric from the very bottom of his footlocker. "Here," he said, handing the dark cloth to Atton, wrinkling his nose as though he was holding the slimy stomach of a recently gutted cannok. "I don't wear this one anymore." He got up and started putting his belongings back into the footlocker.

Atton glanced down at the garments he was holding and scoffed. "Yeah, I _guess_ you don't. I can't think of a single good reason why you'd ever want to put _that_ back on."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Dustil defensively.

Atton unfolded the article of clothing, held it up in front of him, and looked at it with a less than thrilled expression. "It means exactly what it sounds like it means, and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I can't really picture you parading around in your old Sith uniform in front of your Republic daddy. I'm actually a little surprised you still _have_ this. I got rid of mine as soon as I feasibly could. But then again, I was also afraid they'd be looking for me."

Dustil gaped. "How… how did you know I used to be a Sith?"

Atton snorted. "You're joking, right? I'd spot a Sith uniform in a heartbeat. Plus I can smell my own, kid. I could tell from the second I met you. But don't worry…" he added, noting Dustil's concerned expression. "I won't tell Mira. Your secret's safe with me, if mine is safe with you."

Having recovered from his surprise, Dustil laughed a little. "Yeah, well, speaking of smells…"

"I'm getting it cleaned, all right?" said Atton impatiently. "Are you sure you're not really _Revan's_ kid? Cause you're both just as annoying about this." He glimpsed down a little uneasily at the fabric he had been handed. "Um… I don't suppose there's anything else you'd like to lend me? Not to be a pain, but this is bringing back a few too many memories I'd rather not have…"

"Fine!" Dustil snatched the Sith uniform away. "You're lucky I can understand where you're coming from." He tossed the garments to the floor and resumed digging in his footlocker. "What were you doing anyway? For the Sith, I mean," he said over his shoulder.

Atton looked uneasy. "You don't ask Revan those questions, do you?"

Dustil sat down on the floor and looked up at Atton. "Well, no… but I know she did some rather nasty things. I figured what you did was nowhere near as bad."

"Did you, now? Well, let me put it this way, kid," said Atton darkly. "I was working pretty much directly under Revan."

"Oh," replied Dustil eloquently. Without a word, he randomly pulled a robe from his footlocker. He got up. "Here. Wear this," he said, handing the robe to Atton.

"Thanks," answered Atton gratefully. "And thanks…" He gave Dustil a light friendly punch on the shoulder and cracked a smile. "For not being a schutta about this… and for not giving me the third degree. Now come on—let's go get drunk."

Dustil walked out ahead of Atton, while Atton quickly got changed. The latter threw on his new garbs and ran out to the main hold, only to discover that everyone had already stepped off the ship. He raced down the exit ramp just in time to see Revan paying the docking fee to the docking officer. She had just finished asking the latter a few questions when Atton approached him.

"Two questions: I need to get this"—he held up his robe—"cleaned. I want to know where I can do that. And I'd also like to know where's the closest place I can play pazaak." _Hey, if they're all going to be gone, I might as well try to earn a few credits._

The docking officer raised an eyebrow. "Well, to answer your first question, there's a place just down the street from here… on your right; you can't miss it. As for your other question, I'm sorry, but pazaak and all forms of gambling were declared illegal on Iridonia two standard years ago."

"_Illegal_? What the…?" blurted Atton, crestfallen. Mira, who stood right behind him, burst out laughing. "What kind of a place _is_ this?" he whined. He shook his head. "Illegal…" he repeated under his breath. He looked up at the officer again. "Well, is alcohol still legal here, at least?"

The docking officer appeared to be trying hard to stifle a smirk. "Yes, sir… That, it is."

"Good," said Atton, relieved. "Cause I'm going to need a lot of _that_."

"The cantina's across the street from where you're going, sir," smiled the officer.

"Excellent," said Atton, rubbing his hands.

"Atton, don't you have the first piloting shift when we leave?" wondered Dustil.

_Dammit! This entire planet is against me._ He sighed loudly. "Fine, I…" he began resignedly, then suddenly stopped and grinned deviously. He turned to Mira innocently and asked flirtatiously, "Hey, gorgeous, I don't suppose…"

Mira laughed. "Ugh," she said, pushing him away. "Fine. I'll take over your shift, Atton, but you owe me. And you can start paying me back by never calling me 'gorgeous' again."

Atton blew her a kiss and mouthed the words "Thank you!" as Mira burst out laughing. Without further ado, he grabbed Dustil by the sleeve and dragged him along as he walked away. Having witnessed the exchange, Revan eyed Atton apprehensively. "You know," she said, addressing Carth and Mira, "maybe Mical should go with you guys. After all, he does know that tech you're looking for. I'll… I'll stay behind with Dustil and Atton."

Overhearing her, Atton and Dustil stopped dead in their tracks. Both men glanced at each other, wearing the same expression on their faces: _Great. A babysitter._ Revan continued, "If we're not at the ship when you come back, I think it's a safe bet we'll be at the cantina," she added, rolling her eyes.

"I think we'll start there," laughed Carth, noticing Atton's and Dustil's consternation, as Revan caught up with the two. "It'll give you more time," he added as he walked away with Mira and Mical.

Atton, Dustil and Revan started walking down the dusty street indicated by the docking officer, Atton and Dustil walking briskly, vaguely hoping that Revan would give up on trying to catch up to them and stay behind. She however quickened her pace and soon stood right behind Atton. "Nice try," she said, smirking. "You're not losing me that easily."

"We weren't…" feebly protested Dustil.

"Save it," she said rolling her eyes. "All right, first things first, Jaq, we're dropping off that thing you call a robe to get it decontaminated right away. This isn't exactly a large settlement, and I don't expect the search for your friend will last very long."

"Well, then I guess we'll just have to knock them back that much faster," said Atton, winking at Dustil, who chuckled.

Revan heaved a sigh and massaged the back of her own shoulder briefly. "For the last time, Jaq, are you _sure_ you don't just want to buy a new robe? I'm willing to pay for it myself if it means you might finally look somewhat decent…"

"No," said Atton firmly. "I told you this robe's not going anywhere."

"Fine, fine," grumbled Revan. "All right, this must be the place." She looked up and saw a large sign that read '_Mend and Sanitize_'. She seemed unimpressed. "Catchy name," she muttered sarcastically with a wry face. Unceremoniously pushing Dustil out of the way, she grabbed the robe out of Atton's hands, grimacing even further as she did so, and opened the door with a determined air. The door swung shut behind her. Atton and Dustil looked at each other, smiling.

"I don't think there's any real need for us to go in there with her, do you?" asked Dustil.

"Kid, it's like you can read my mind." Atton turned around and looked across the street. "And as promised, there's the cantina. Come on, let's get going… and hurry up before she comes back looking for us."

Dustil grinned and nodded, quickly following Atton who had briskly started walking toward the other side of the street. Atton pushed the door after glancing over his shoulder. Still no Revan in sight. _Excellent. We might get a chance to down a drink before she shows up, depending on how fast the bartender is._

They walked up to the counter. Atton looked around and realized right away that he and Dustil were the only two humans in the cantina. He noted the evident lack of Twi'lek dancers—in fact, there was no music or dancing of any kind going on. Only Zabraks standing around, drinking and talking. _It's like I'm surrounded by a sea of Bao-Durs… Aren't there any other species on this planet? Not that I could blame them… This place is one of the more unpleasant planets I've been on. You'd think the place might be a bit more comfortable… We're not even in the Outer Rim yet._ He sat down on one of the bar stools, quickly imitated by Dustil, who glanced around as one mesmerized. Atton tapped on the counter a few times to get the bartender's attention. "Give us a couple shots of… whatever the strongest stuff you've got around here is," he said. "We have to hurry before _mom_ shows up…"

"I swear, Jaq, if you get Carth's son drunk on my watch, I will _never_ hear the end of it," said a voice behind him.

"Too late," quipped Dustil under his breath.

Atton turned and looked interestedly at Revan. "Really!" he said before turning back to the bartender who had started pouring their drinks. "Actually, make that a couple shots _each_," he corrected, looking smug.

Revan glared at Atton for a moment, then unexpectedly burst out laughing. "Yes, I suppose I walked right into that one," she admitted. She put her hands down onto the counter and addressed the bartender: "Same for me," she said, winking at Atton. Dustil, who had been focusing his attention to the glass that had been set down before him, turned quickly toward Revan and eyed her admiringly. Atton noticed the awe in Dustil's face and snickered.

"Oh yeah!" he told Dustil. "Your step-mom here can really drink. Hell, if I hadn't already been so drunk when she caught up with me on Nar Shaddaa, I bet she could've matched me shot for shot… and I'm no lightweight." He glanced down at the glasses in front of him, picked one up in each hand, and downed them both back-to-back. "Pure pazaak," he said, grinning. "That's exactly what I needed." He had just signaled the bartender for another round—even though both Revan and Dustil were still working on their first drinks—when he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. "Hey, what?" he asked, turning to look, and finding himself face to face with a Zabrak peering at him curiously. The Zabrak smiled in recognition.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Crash-lander himself," he said in a laid-back, soothing voice.

Atton, aided by the shots of liquid courage he had just knocked back, grinned from ear to ear, grabbed the Zabrak's hand and gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder. "Bao-Dur! Well, what are the odds… Mira's out looking for you right now! Great to see you! Hey man, how've you been?"

Bao-Dur smiled slowly, with amusement in his eyes. "I see you've been hitting our bartender's secret stash of Spice Liquor."

"_Spice_ Liquor?" asked Atton, smirking slightly.

"Not what you think… But it _does_ hit you hard. Anyway, Atton… What _are_ you doing here? Crash-landed again? It can't be because of Iridonia's great pazaak players," said Bao-Dur with a twinkle in his eyes.

Atton picked up his third drink and, ignoring Bao-Dur's warnings, pounded it back just as he had the first two. "Don't even get me started on that. That's the stupidest…" He shook his head. "Well, believe it or not, we were looking for you. We…" He paused and suddenly became aware of Revan and Dustil standing next to him, waiting to be introduced. "I'm sorry… this is Dustil Onasi, and Re—I mean Liah." He frowned slightly, trying to recollect Revan's full name. "Liah Stari," he added, suddenly remembering.

Bao-Dur's eyes shifted from Dustil over to Revan, and his smile faded. His eyes opened wide.

"You!" he exclaimed.

"Me?" wondered Revan. "I'm… I'm sorry, do I know you?"

Bao-Dur slowly tried to regain his composure. "You… well… you're… you're _her_… You're…"

Revan smiled thinly, finally understanding. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Dark Lord of the Sith… I see you like to point that out as much as your pal, here. Seriously, you boys have to learn to let things _go_."

Atton jumped in, hoping to avoid what could turn out to be a face-off between his master and the Zabrak. "Bao, we need your help," he said as he stepped in between the two. "Jena… well, she's missing. We're headed to the Unknown Regions to find her and we need a tech. A _good_ tech. Because you of all people should know how much of a rust bucket the _Ebon Hawk_ is."

"Hey!" protested Revan. "My ship's not _that_ bad, Jaq!"

Atton sighed and turned to Revan. "I insulted your _ship_, Rev—not _Carth_. Settle down." He turned back toward Bao-Dur. "So anyway… we needed a tech, so of course we… well, mainly Mira, really… thought about you."

"It would be really great if you could join us," said Revan, stepping forward. "I realize that, judging from your reaction when you met me, that you're not very likely to trust me yet, but you do have friends on board who do trust me…" Atton coughed discreetly and Revan glanced sideways at him, but continued on as though nothing had happened. "Mical and Mira have grown to believe in me, as will you, I'm sure." Atton smiled inwardly, noticing that his name had been conveniently left out. "The bottom line is, we need your help," said Revan frankly. "We already had to do an emergency landing on Kashyyyk and I'm afraid that a similar situation may present itself later on… and you know as well as I do, I'm sure, that finding help in the Unknown Regions would be quite the task. Also, Mira and Jaq—I mean Atton—tell me that you're a Jedi… That'll certainly be a bonus where we're going. So what do you say, Bao-Dur?" Revan smiled expectantly. _She really can be charming when she wants to… Too bad she never tries with me._

Bao-Dur looked pensive. "Well, if the General needs me, then I supposed I'm at your disposal."

Atton grinned. "Excellent. I figured we could count on you." He slammed his fourth glass back down on the counter.

"Well," said Revan, relieved, "now that that's settled I guess we can start heading back to the ship…"

"Are you kidding?" exclaimed Atton. "The others won't come around for ages… Plus we just got here…"

"Atton, you've already had four drinks," said Revan severely.

"So?" asked Atton lightly.

"So, I thought you wanted to get to Jena as soon as possible."

Atton snickered. "Do you even _listen_ when your pretty boy talks, or are you too busy gazing into his deep blue eyes to even hear a single word?"

"Carth's eyes are brown."

Atton shrugged… "Blue… brown… whatever. Like I'm looking. My point was…" He stopped and seemed perplexed for a moment. He then promptly smiled, having remembered. "Oh yeah. My point was, he said they'd meet us here. Even if he hadn't said that, you know damn well they'd have checked here first… I apparently have a reputation as a drunken pilot, after all…" He simpered.

Bao-Dur smiled cautiously at Atton. "Are you trying to tell me that you did _not_ fly the _Ebon Hawk_ drunk?"

"See my point?" Atton told Revan, gesturing toward Bao-Dur. "Now come on… I've got a reputation as a drunk to live up to!" he added, raising his empty glass and tilting it back and forth to indicate to the bartender that he was looking for his next drink.

Bao-Dur looked in turn at the glass, then at Atton. "Shall I take it to mean that you are not piloting the _Ebon Hawk_ this time around?" he enquired.

"Oh, no, I am," said Atton, nodding his thanks to the bartender. "Just not this shift. We've got… what… four people who can fly that piece of junk? Me, Carth, Dustil and Mira. Mira's the one who's got the next shift. I have to remember to get her a really big birthday present."

"Mira?" asked Bao-Dur, highly amused. "She practically flew us into a cliff when we were on Malachor, trying to save you and the General."

Atton shrugged, knocked back his drink and grinned. "You know… I'm willing to take my chances."

"Mira's flying's not that bad," grumbled Dustil, opening his mouth for the first time since he was introduced to Bao-Dur. _That kid's just too cute. I wonder if his old man is as protective of Revan. I may have to test that theory. Of course, knowing Carth, he'd probably just laugh and agree with me… if Rev's not around, that is._

Bao-Dur looked thoughtful for a moment. "Mind you," he mused, "I suppose that's still better than you _actually_ flying us into cliffs, and then getting us trapped between two."

"Hey, I got us _out_ of those cliffs, didn't I? And my memory may be a little rusty, but I do remember you admitting that I was a good pilot because of it," said Atton animatedly, raising his hand again to order another drink. Revan saw his movement, reached over, grabbed his arm and pulled it back down.

"You've had enough, Jaq," she muttered to him. Atton looked over to her confusedly. _Something so familiar about this…_

"I may have said that," said Bao-Dur teasingly, in response to Atton's comment. "It's a little hard to remember, as I was too busy fearing for my life."

"Bao, my man, it's good to have you back," said Atton patting him on the shoulder and raising a glass he had picked up off the counter—Revan's. She looked reproachfully at him.

_You've had enough, Jaq…_No, that wasn't quite it…

"And I think you've had a lot to drink, Atton," winked Bao-Dur. "That stuff you're drinking's pretty strong."

Atton laughed. "Buddy, this is nothing compared to how much I drank on a nightly basis on Nar Shaddaa before Revan here came to pick me up."

_You've had… No… You've been…_

Bao-Dur appeared confused. "I thought you were on Telos…"

Atton's smile faded. "Yeah, well, let's not get into that right now," he said gravely.

_You've been drinking too much, Jaq._

"Too much?" he absent-mindedly muttered under his breath. "Define 'too much', Lord… Or should I say 'Lady'?"

Revan frowned, paling slightly. "What did you just say, Jaq?" she whispered.

Atton frowned and looked properly puzzled. "I'm… not sure," he whispered back. "It's… the booze," he said dully.

Revan furtively took Atton by the arm and was about to pull him away from the group, when the cantina door opened and in walked Carth, Mira and Mical. Revan slowly let go of Atton's arm, as Mira walked up to Bao-Dur and punched him none too lightly on his good arm. "About time! Where the hell have you been? We looked all over for you! And all this time you were here with this loser?" She grinned, gesturing at Atton's direction.

Atton leaned over to Dustil and muttered, "In case you were starting to feel paranoid, she's talking about me."

Dustil, who was leaning with his back up against the railing, glanced at him sideways and put his empty glass on the counter. "Oh, I thought that was pretty obvious," he replied pertly.

Atton bit his lips, looking unimpressed. "Thanks, bud," he muttered.

"So," Bao-Dur said to Mira, "I hear you're looking for the General."

Mira nodded, but before she said anything, Revan had stepped in. "Okay, I have to ask… _Why_ do you keep calling Jena 'the General'? Did you serve under her during the Mandalorian Wars?"

"Yes, I did," said Bao-Dur shortly.

Understanding lit up Revan's face. "_That's_ why you looked familiar! It took a few minutes… my memory's still a little hazy at times. There weren't that many Zabraks there, so I guess I remember seeing you around, even though you weren't serving under me. And I suppose that's also how you managed to recognize me…" She peered at Atton strangely and added, "Unlike _other_ people here…"

Carth scoffed. "Honestly, Liah," he interjected. "Did everybody who fought in the Mandalorian Wars see you, except for me? It certainly seems that way, sometimes."

Revan grinned impudently. "Well, I know that Jaq here sure didn't…" she said, flicking Atton's arm as she spoke. The latter flushed heavily and threw a black look in Revan's direction, right before defiantly downing the rest of her drink.

Carth peered at him curiously. "Atton, you served during the Mandalorian Wars?"

Atton smacked his lips in a displeased manner. _Will she ever shut up about my past?_ Noticing Atton's sudden sullenness, Mira cleared her throat and turned to Bao-Dur. "Yes, yes, we're looking for Jena. She seems to have gone missing about four months ago. Nobody seems to know where she went, and nobody heard from her at all. Atton even lost his bond with her."

Bao-Dur frowned slightly. "_Four_ months, you say?" He seemed to be calculating something and a puzzled expression appeared on his face.

"What? What is it, Bao?" asked Atton, slurring slightly.

Bao-Dur shook his head. "Nothing, it's just…" He hesitated.

"Just what?" Atton insisted.

"It's just… I'm wondering why you think she may be in trouble. You said she's been missing for four months? It's just that she seemed fine when I saw her." Revan, Carth, Mira and Dustil all looked upon Bao-Dur in silent shock, while the color drained from both Atton and Mical's faces.

Mical was first to recover his wits. He cleared his throat. "When you… _saw_ her?" he asked through pale lips. "What do you mean, when you saw her? When did you see her?"

"About… two or three standard months ago, when I was on Ilum."


	10. Another Bender

**Chapter 10 – Another Bender**

Atton dropped his empty glass. It bounced twice and landed sideways next to his foot. His brain vaguely registered the fact that it was probably good that it had not shattered as it hit the floor, but he was too stunned to care right then. "I'm sorry, you what who where, _when_?" he exclaimed in a strangled voice.

Bao-Dur glanced apprehensively at the row of surprised faces lined up before him. He smacked his lips and hesitated. "The… General," he said uneasily, trying to decide whose face was worse to look at: Atton's, which was turning from white to purple, or Mical's, which remained consistently ashen. "I saw her a couple months ago on Ilum. I… happened to make a stopover there and I ran into her. The most peculiar thing, now that I think about it… I wasn't really all that surprised at the time… figured she was there for the crystals… Of course I had no idea she was supposed to still be in the Un—"

"The crystals?" asked Atton faintly, vainly attempting to recover from his shock.

"Lightsaber crystals," Revan purred. "Ilum has a Crystal Cave. I was there once. It only produces blue and green crystals, though."

"But Jena only uses violet crystals," mused Mical, his color slowly returning to normal.

Atton glared at Mical, as though the latter had no right to know the color of Jena's lightsaber. He felt obligated to add something to Mical's observation. "Why would she even be looking for lightsaber crystals anyway? She _has_ a lightsaber," he stated unnecessarily, amazed at his own witlessness the instant the words came out of his mouth. _Of _course_ she has a lightsaber. Everybody here knows that!_

Bao-Dur shrugged and ignored the lameness of Atton's comment. "She doesn't have it anymore. She only had vibroblades with her. Said something about having crash-landed on Rattatak and having had to fight in the gladiator pits to find her way off the planet, and that somehow in the process she had lost her lightsaber, seeing as she couldn't use it."

The carelessness with which Bao-Dur spoke of Jena's former predicament, coupled with the effect of the Spice liquor, made Atton a little dizzy. He turned a delicate shade of green, shut his eyes and shook his head violently in an attempt to stop the room from spinning, and to prevent himself from throwing up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said. "Back up a minute. You say she crash-landed."

"Yes," replied Bao-Dur. "Despite the fact you weren't flying the ship," he added with a slight curve to his lips.

"She crash-landed on Ra… Rattatak," added Atton, ignoring Bao-Dur's flippant remark. "Now please explain to me what is Rattatak."

"Rattatak is a planet in the Outer Rim, near the Spor Sector, Jaq," said Revan wearily. "I have no idea why she would have ended up there. She was supposed to find…" Her voice trailed off and her eyes suddenly opened wide. She turned to Bao-Dur and asked eagerly, "Did she have anybody else with her?"

"No, was she supposed to?" the Zabrak enquired.

"No, I suppose not," said Revan regretfully. She tried hard to conceal her disappointment, and fooled all but Atton and Carth. The latter frowned slightly and the former looked at her curiously. _Why would Jena…? Wait a minute. T3's message…Jena said something about finding 'someone'. Who is this person? I wish I hadn't drunk so much. I can't think._ Revan pursed her lips and seemed furious with herself for having opened her mouth at all. An uneasy tension was felt among the fellow crewmembers, although most could not quite figure out why.

After a moment, Atton broke the silence: "Okay. So she _was_ on Rat… Rattatak." He stammered as he tried to get used to the name of the planet. "She obviously got away from the planet, _without_ her lightsaber… by… fighting in gladiator pits?" he asked incredulously. Bao-Dur nodded. Atton closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _It's okay… She's okay… she obviously survived this…No need to panic at this point. _He shook his head in disbelief and opened his eyes again. "_Why_ again is it that she couldn't use her lightsaber?" he asked with an odd catch in his voice.

Bao-Dur seemed puzzled. "She didn't elaborate. Something about not wanting to be noticed." _Well, I suppose that would go hand in hand with her hiding. _

"And she somehow ended up on Ilum, which isn't far from here, I think," continued Atton, rubbing his temples.

"That's correct, Atton." Bao-Dur stuck his hands in his pockets and exhaled deeply, uncomfortably looking forward to the end of this interrogation. He wasn't used to being the center of this much attention, vastly preferring the company of machines to that of sentient beings.

Atton dropped his arms, walked up to Bao-Dur, grabbed him by both shoulders and asked desperately, "So where is she _now_?"

Bao-Dur wrinkled his nose over the strong smell of alcohol on Atton's breath. He turned his head slightly and looked down. "I don't really know. The only thing she did tell me was that what she was attempting to track down was proving to be a little bit more difficult than had been anticipated."

Atton looked crestfallen. "So she didn't say where she was going?" he asked dolefully. His hands started slowly slipping down from Bao-Dur's shoulders.

The Zabrak looked at him pityingly. "I'm sorry, Atton," he said quietly. Atton tried to smile despite his heavy heart, but the result was quite ghastly and made him look woebegone.

"Hey, it doesn't really matter…" said Atton, sporting his fake smile. "I mean, it's not like she'd likely still be there, right? You know how she is… can't even sit still five minutes…" He noticed he was still holding on to Bao-Dur's sleeve and let go. Mira walked up to Atton, put her arm around his shoulders sympathetically and said gently, "Come on, let's get you back to the ship…" Atton shook his head.

"You guys go on ahead without me," he said dismissively. He looked pleadingly at Mira. "Just… give me a couple minutes, will you?"

Mira shot a concerned glance at him, and looked questioningly at Revan. The latter nodded slowly. "I'll pick up your robe for you, Jaq," said Revan simply. "We'll meet you at the ship." She raised her eyebrow cautiously. "Don't be long," she added warningly. She looked at the others and, without a word, tilted her head slightly, motioning at them to follow her. She threw a handful of credits on the counter and walked out of the cantina, the crew right behind her. When the door closed behind the last person—Mira, who threw one last anxious look before leaving—Atton turned toward the bar and slouched down on one of the bar stools, his elbows on the counter, and held his head in his hands. _Why am I so upset about this? Things are no different than they were before. In fact, I should be happy—I know that she was fine as of two months ago. But she was so close… and now I haven't got the slightest clue where to look for her. She could be anywhere. _

The bartender stood near him, collecting the credits that Revan had dropped off for him. He looked at Atton puzzlingly and then counted his credits. He looked at Atton again, turned, and came back holding two full glasses, which he set down under Atton's nose. "Your lady friend gave me too much," he said gruffly, gathering up Revan's and Dustil's dirty glasses, and walking away with them in hand. Atton lifted his head and looked at the Zabrak.

"Thanks," he mumbled, picking up the first glass and reaching into his pocket to check that he had in fact taken his credits out of his robe and transferred them over to his new garments. He had. A faint smile developed on his lips.

When Revan walked back into the cantina half an hour later, utterly unimpressed, Atton had not moved from his spot. He was calmly sitting, carefully studying the bottom of his glass. "'Sup, Rev?" he said without turning around or even taking his eyes off his empty glass. "I may be have been drinking, but I still know you're there."

She pursed her lips. "This has got to be the longest 'couple minutes' I've ever witnessed," she snapped.

"Why? How long's it been?" he asked nonchalantly, slowly turning toward her. She stood, red-faced and with her arms folded.

"Thirty minutes!" she flared.

Atton grinned stupidly. "Impressive!" he said, half to himself.

"What's impressive?"

"The number of drinks I managed to fit in that half-hour," he said gesturing toward the neatly piled stack of glasses that had accumulated in front of him. "I'm getting better all the time. I was about to start building a castle out of the glasses, but then you had to show up and ruin my fun."

"You're drunk," stated Revan futilely, walking up to him.

Atton grinned again. "So what if I am, Lord Revan? What are you going to do? Force choke me?" He laughed sardonically.

Revan turned very pale and sat down next to Atton. "Jaq!" she whispered pleadingly, leaning toward him.

Atton's smile faded and he frowned. He stared at Revan as though he was remembering something. "Hey, wait a minute… You _did_, didn't you?"

"Let's just go back to the ship. We have to go," she said evasively, getting up again. "I mean—you do want to find Jena…" She rather hoped that last part would convince him to drop the topic and to follow her out.

Ignoring her comments, Atton seized her wrist, stopped her, and looked intently into her eyes. "You _did_, didn't you?" he repeated seriously. "I was drunk and you Force choked me. I don't remember what happened before or after, but I remember _that_." Revan froze for a moment, staring at Atton scrutinizingly, as though she was searching for something. Her eyes finally wavered and dropped.

"Yes," she hissed. "Yes, I Force choked you for no apparent reason—just on a power trip. I'm sorry," she said. "But that's not who I am anymore. You have to believe me."

Atton cocked his head and studied Revan closely, still firmly holding on to her wrist. "There's something you're not telling me. What happened after that?" He tightened his hold.

"Nothing happened," said Revan, wriggling her wrist slightly in a weak attempt to get it free. "You sat back down and ignored me. I was impressed with your nerve, because that would have normally sent everybody else cowering in the corner. And I… left you alone." She looked at the wrist Atton was holding. "Please, Jaq…"

Following her glance, Atton realized what his right hand was doing. He loosened his hold and cocked an eyebrow. "I don't buy it," he said as Revan quickly withdrew her arm and shot him a black look. "You're lying. But I'm too drunk to care right now. Come on _my Lord_, let's go back to your ship. I'll get back to drilling you when I'm sober."

Revan clenched her teeth and, without a word, turned around and stalked out of the cantina. Atton chuckled faintly to himself. _Oh, I'm going to pay for this later, I can feel it._ Still chuckling, he tossed a few more credits onto the counter, nodded his thanks to the bartender and proceeded to walk out. After taking a few steps, he staggered and regretted having angered Revan. _Damn, that liquor may not have affected my head too much, but it sure did something to my legs._ He wobbled his way out, looked over to his right, and could see Revan already well ahead of him down the road. He sighed resignedly, determined he would not call after her for help, knowing full well she would never let him forget it if he did, and proceeded to walk very slowly down the path to the ship. _Nothing I've never done before… I've walked back to my apartment from the Telos cantina way drunker than this._ He continued on his way, vaguely wondering if 'drunker' was even a word, but finally deciding that he honestly didn't care.

When he finally made his way to the _Ebon Hawk_, he immediately headed toward the cockpit—out of sheer habit more than anything else—and met Revan along the way. She was holding some brown fabric in her arms. She wordlessly tossed the robe into Atton's arms and kept walking past him without glancing at him, evidently still holding a grudge about their earlier conversation. He decided to slip into the security room to get changed. Having donned his own garments, he stepped back out and dropped his borrowed clothes off in the cockpit, where Dustil was playing pazaak with Mira. Seeing their pazaak cards made him mechanically reach for the spot where he normally kept his own. He frowned when his hand met an empty pocket. Pursing his lips, he walked as decidedly as he possibly could considering his drunken state, and made his way to the starboard side of the ship.

"Dammit!" he yelled belligerently as he practically stumbled into the garage. "Bao-Dur, I hate your entire stupid planet! They took away my pazaak deck!"

Bao-Dur set down his hydrospanner and smiled furtively before turning around to face him. "Now why would they do that, Atton?" he asked, fighting hard to repress a smile, trying to avoid poking at the angry drunken krayt dragon. "It's illegal to play pazaak, but strangely enough, it's not illegal to own a deck… which is probably a good thing for people like you, who carry one everywhere, regardless of whether they'll need it or not. I think your friend Revan would've rather let you rot in jail than get you out."

Atton started checking his pockets again. "Yes, she _did_ express that sentiment already," he grumbled distractedly, patting down the sides of his robe. "Actually, I'm surprised she didn't make Mira take off without me." He frowned. "I need to find that card," he muttered under his breath.

"What card?"

"My plus one—" Atton stopped moving for a moment and peered cautiously at Bao-Dur. "Never mind," he said, resuming his search by feeling down the length of his legs.

Bao-Dur folded his arms. "Are you sure you left it in your robe at all?" he asked, amused at the scene. "You _are_ pretty drunk, Atton."

Atton, hunched over, paused just as he was about to take off one of his boots and looked up smugly at Bao-Dur. "Yeah, I _am_ drunk, and it feels pretty damn good, let me tell you. Cause for the first time since I set foot on this ship, I can finally worry about something other than Jena's safety… you know… like keeping my balance," he said, vacillatingslightly, putting veracity to his words.

Rushing to his rescue, Bao-Dur grabbed him by the arm and led him to the workbench. Atton leaned up against it, muttering something that remotely sounded like thanks. "I hope you've got some good hangover remedies on board," said Bao-Dur, smirking. "The stuff you were drinking really hits you hard the next day."

With the air of one who no longer cared about anything at all, Atton shrugged. "I'll worry about that when we get there," he said, slurring his speech slightly. "Maybe Mira still has those really good pills she swiped from Mical's stash last year." He glanced down at his tattered robes, and a puzzled expression developed on his face. "You know, this thing is a completely different color than what I remember. It's a much lighter shade of brown than I thought. I didn't realize it was that dirty. But then again," he mused, "I guess that's what waking up in Nar Shaddaa gutters almost every day for the past two months will do to you." He laughed, though his laughter was not joined by Bao-Dur's. The latter wrinkled his nose.

"Is that what you've been doing?" he asked, looking vaguely annoyed about something. "I thought you promised the General…"

Atton quickly let go of the workbench and stood up straight, furious, looking like he just sobered up. "I know what I promised the General, dammit! Why do you people keep reminding me what I promised _the General_, just in case I'd forgotten?" he spat venomously. "Like I'd be likely to forget." He quickly put his hands back where they had been as he felt the room spin a little. He closed his eyes. _Why can't I keep my balance? I don't even feel that drunk anymore._

A wave of color rushed up to the Zabrak's face. If Atton's eyes had been open, he might have reflected that he had never witnessed such an occurrence. "Sorry…" stammered Bao-Dur. "I just… was wondering what you'd been up to…"

Atton opened his eyes and his expression turned sour. "You want to know what I've been up to?" he asked, exasperated. "Fine. I'll tell you… I worked my ass off on that Telos restoration for a year—a _year_—waiting for her to come back. And she didn't."

Bao-Dur stuck his hands in his pockets and he sighed. "She never told you how long she'd be gone, Atton," he said gently.

Atton shook his head. "Of course she didn't. I was hoping she'd be back by then, but she wasn't. But I could've dealt with that if she hadn't just… disappeared."

Frowning, Bao-Dur said, "Yes, Mira was saying something about you losing your bond with the General. What did she mean?"

"She meant Jena's gone. Missing. Disappeared. Vanished. Bye-bye." Atton's temporarily limited cognitive abilities prevented him from thinking of more synonyms. "I lost my bond with her—happened really suddenly one night four months ago. Scared the hell out of me. Force, I didn't know _what_ to think…"

"Maybe she was in trouble…" muttered Bao-Dur.

"No… I mean, you saw her and she was fine." Bao-Dur nodded. "It's not that at all… She's hiding on purpose and Revan won't tell me why, and—" He heaved a frustrated sigh. "Anyway, I didn't have Revan around to give me vague useless words of encouragement on a daily basis then, so I didn't exactly think happy thoughts. At first I thought she was in trouble, like you. I kind of hoped she was, actually. I mean, not that I wanted her to be in trouble, but better in trouble than _dead_, right?" He tittered nervously and moved some of Bao-Dur's tools off to one side of the workbench, so he could clear a spot. He clumsily heaved himself up and sat down on. "But after a while… I wasn't so hopeful."

"So that's why you ended up on Nar Shaddaa," said Bao-Dur thoughtfully. "You lost your bond, you thought she was dead, you abandoned your post, and you…" He looked Atton up and down. "You started drinking heavily, I presume. Hence how you ended up in the gutters."

Atton glanced away shamefacedly, slowly sobering up. "What did she expect me to do?" he said inaudibly. "I thought she was dead."

"If I were to speculate, I'd say the General may have expected you to go on without her," said Bao-Dur a little sharply.

Atton looked dispirited. "I probably would've been able to… if…" His eyes dropped and focused on his feet as they dangled off the side of the workbench. "If I could stop thinking about the fact that the last memory she had of me before she died was that I had abandoned her while she slept. I've been feeling so guilty," he muttered, looking almost nauseous. "I didn't even let her say goodbye, and—" He swallowed with great difficulty. _Why am I telling him all this?_ "She left me a message… on T3, you know… She told me not to worry about it, that it's okay." He forced a derisive laugh.

"Maybe it is," said Bao-Dur softly. Atton shook his head.

"Even if it's okay with her… It's not okay with me," he said firmly. "I shouldn't have left her. Not like that. She must've been really hurt when she woke up and realized that I had slept with her and just… bolted." Atton felt his eyes starting to smart and he pinched the side of his leg in an attempt to prevent himself from crying. _I don't know what was in that Spice liquor stuff, but it's turning me into a girl. I need to stop talking! _

There was an awkward silence, at the end of which Bao-Dur hesitantly asked, "You said you were only on Nar Shaddaa for two months… what were you doing for the first two?" T3 had just rolled into the garage and Bao-Dur waved him over and opened up his side panel.

"Oh, I kept working on Telos," replied Atton, grateful for the slight change of topic. "Only, maybe not as… hard. My motivation started wearing a little thin when I started to wonder whether she'd come back at all. Then one day I gave up and left and…" He frowned. "Well, the other two months are kind of a blur. I _vaguely_ remember Revan showing up at the cantina one day and getting me to come along, and then I woke up on this ship." He laughed sardonically. "Let me tell you, waking up to discover that I'm on the same ship as Mical again is _not_ my idea of fun."

Picking up his hydrospanner again, Bao-Dur chuckled. "Still locking antlers, I see."

"Yeah…" Atton looked perplexed and mumbled distractedly. "I don't know, he's gotten _weird_… I mean, not in a cryptic Jedi sense. He's _always_ been weird like that. I mean he seems more… annoyed with me than before. He's always snapping at me."

Bao-Dur smiled as he started doing some maintenance work on T3. "Well, you _are_ a bit much to take sometimes, I'll admit. No offense, but I never understood what the General saw in you."

"Gee, thanks," grumbled Atton, his eyes closing.

"That's not what I mean… It's just that for a woman who likes to be obeyed without discussion, her choice for you as a mate is… a little surprising."

Atton's eyes opened suddenly and he scoffed. "Any more surprising than me picking a Jedi?"

Bao-Dur grinned. "Fair enough," he conceded. "But as for Mical, I don't know what to say… I haven't had any time to talk to him yet. Maybe he had just… forgotten about you—and about the General—since we all parted ways a year and a half ago, and being around you again brought it all back with a vengeance."

Atton frowned. "Yeah, but… I mean, he was never happy with me, but he was never _that_ bitter toward me."

Bao-Dur snorted. "Is that what you really think? You must have drunk even more than I thought," he said, setting his hydrospanner down on the floor and looking up at Atton in disbelief. "Oh, he did his best to hide it and to repress it. That's why he kept spending so much time meditating and reciting the Jedi Code. Not to mention that I think the General's presence seemed to have a soothing effect on him. But I could tell. Ever since that day when he and you had that first blow out on the ship, right after Dantooine—that day the General pulled you into the security room to… well, to yell at you. You must remember."

Atton smiled coyly. "Hard to forget," he muttered, recalling the scene.

_"Honestly Atton I would love to spend more time talking to you, but all you ever seem to want to do is play bloody pazaak!" _

_"Oh, there are other things I like to do, sister!" _

_"Oh yeah? Such as what?" _

He chuckled faintly. _How I managed to not kiss her right then, I'll never know… _

"Atton?" asked Bao-Dur, noticing Atton's glazed-over look.

Atton started violently and almost fell off the workbench. "Sorry, Bao. You were saying?"

Bao-Dur smiled indulgently and continued. "While you were getting yelled at—which judging from your earlier facial expression you may have been enjoying a little too much—Mical said something about being glad he wasn't you, when he first heard the General berating you. I told him he hadn't been around women like the General enough. He followed me and asked me to elaborate. I only told him that the General was very unpredictable… and told him what I had been noticing."

"Which was what?" Atton asked, suddenly remembering that he had not looked in his boots for his pazaak deck and pulling off the one covering his right foot.

"That the General seemed to have a soft spot for a certain pazaak-playing pilot," replied Bao-Dur, watching Atton with great amusement. "And I told him that after the little conversation you and I had after I came on board—the one where you asked me if I thought the General would be interesting in a guy like you—you appeared to reciprocate those feelings."

"I thought you said you didn't understand why she picked me," said Atton, reaching into his boot and immediately pulling his arm out, disappointed. He quickly put his boot back on and started taking the other one off.

"I _don't_ understand. But it was still clear that she had a bit of a… weakness for you."

"So Mical has been resenting me since that day?" asked Atton incredulously as he shook his left boot upside-down, tapping on the bottom of the sole.

"Basically, yes." Bao-Dur's eyes followed Atton's hands as they pulled his left boot onto his foot.

"This is insane!" Atton threw his arms up. "Nothing had even happened between me and Jena then."

"And this is different from you resenting him… how, exactly?" Bao-Dur smirked.

Bao-Dur's point seemed to hit home, as Atton slid off the workbench and said grouchily, "This conversation is really killing my buzz. Can we talk about something else?"

"Actually, Atton, I do have a lot of things to do around here…."

"All right, then I'll let you get back to your stuff… Maybe we can talk later when I'm not so… drunk."

"That might be preferable."

Atton flashed Bao-Dur a tired smile and made his way toward the door, still staggering faintly. He stopped on his way out and hesitated. Without turning around, he stammered, "Bao-Dur… Did she… did she say anything about me?" He tried not to fiddle with his robe as he nervously awaited an answer.

Bao-Dur put his tool down and turned slowly to look at Atton. "No… But I mentioned you. And…"

Atton's heart beat a little faster. "And…?"

"And she blushed and her face lit up," said Bao-Dur gently.

Atton smiled, nodded, and walked out toward his dorm.


	11. An Even Worse Hangover

**Chapter 11 – An Even Worse Hangover **

When Atton opened his eyes slowly and with great difficulty, he was quite glad—for once—to be space traveling aboard the _Ebon Hawk_. _At least it's always dark here…_ As he regained consciousness, he started becoming aware of the fact that he wasn't alone. He painfully lifted his head up and saw Mira sitting on the foot of the bed, holding a glass of water, looking at him. "Hey, gorgeous!" he said, squinting.

"I thought I told you never to call me that again. What are you, still drunk?" She eyed Atton's still fully dressed form with some amusement.

Atton wrinkled his nose. "Maybe a little. I am _mostly_ hungover, though."

Mira smirked. "Good. Cause that's why I'm here." She handed him a couple pills she held in her hand, and the glass of water. Atton blinked a few times before accepting them.

"What are you, the hangover fairy?" he asked, promptly swallowing the pills she offered. Bao-Dur had been right. This _was_ a rough hangover. He felt as though he could barely move, lest his head exploded. "Please tell me this is the same stuff as last time," he said, referring to the pills.

Mira nodded. "Yeah… the last two. You're on your own after this, flyboy."

Atton downed the glass of water, trying not to slop it all over his pillow. "Okay… well, as long as I have them today—that's the important part. Because honestly, that stuff Mical's got in the medical room does _squat_. And the way my head's feeling right now…" Wincing, he attempted to sit up, but gave up when he realized it only made the severe pounding in his head worse. He dropped back down onto his pillow. "So why are you here? I mean, other than the pill thing. What, were you just sitting here, watching me sleep?"

Mira flashed him a crooked smile. "Pretty much."

Atton, who was already frowning from the pain, frowned even further. "That's kind of… weird… don't you think? Plus isn't that going to make Dustil jealous?" Mira laughed and Atton winced. "Ouch!" he protested. "No laughing! Hurt… head…" He rubbed his temples.

"Sorry," she said, lowering her voice and stifling her laugher. "So you noticed? About Dustil, I mean…"

Atton cracked half a smile. "Kind of hard not to." He groaned as he attempted to flip onto his stomach, hoping to then be able to push himself up. "I think the only one who hasn't noticed is Carth. Probably just in denial that he could suddenly become a grandfather."

Mira giggled. "It's not like that, pervert. We're just friends… for now."

Atton flipped his head sideways to look at Mira and he raised an eyebrow. "So no Bothan stunners or starving him for three days yet, then…" he said feebly. He smirked. "Poor guy. Isn't he a little young for you anyway?" he asked, finally managing to sit up without too much pain.

She didn't seem phased by his remark. "Not really… I'm a lot younger than you are, you know! Just because _you're_ in your thirties doesn't mean we all are."

"Fair enough," he muttered, trying to keep the volume at a bare minimum. "All right, so why _were_ you watching me sleep, then… at the risk of making your young boyfriend jealous?"

Mira shrugged. "He's sparring with Mical right now, so he wouldn't have come here anyway. I just came to check up on you, to make sure you didn't choke on your tongue or something. And you looked… peaceful. You never look peaceful, not even when you sleep."

"I've never looked peaceful?" He lifted his pillow up and uncovered his pazaak deck. He blinked. _Hey, there it is after all. Well, that's weird… I must have put it there when I got changed before getting off the ship._ He put the deck in his pocket, propped the pillow up against the wall, and leaned his back up against it. He briefly closed his eyes.

"Well, I wouldn't say _that_…" Mira said thoughtfully. "You did look peaceful, once… between Malachor and Telos."

Atton seemed surprised. "Did I?" He paused. "Yeah, I guess that was the only time I felt peaceful in my life… Jena and I were happy… Well… I _thought_ we were, anyway… And the nagging feelings of guilt were temporarily gone, though they did catch up with me as soon as we hit the ground."

Mira took his empty glass away from him. "Guilt?"

"Yeah," grumbled Atton. He breathed out. "I've been meaning to tell you… Actually, I'm kind of surprised you never asked me why Revan keeps calling me 'Jaq'."

Mira shrugged. "She said she knew you for a while, before. I assumed that was the name she knew you by… and figured that if you wanted to tell me, you'd tell me."

Atton smiled weakly. "Yeah, you've always been quick like that." He rubbed his temples again. "Look, Mira, I never told you about my past… I… I used to be with the Sith."

Mira chuckled quietly. "Well, of course you were," she said girlishly. "I figured that out ages ago—back when we still travelled with Jena."

Atton choked on his own spittle and coughed a few times, wincing between each cough. "You did?" he asked incredulously.

"Sure!" Mira said casually. "I picked up on a few things… Of course it wasn't till I met Revan that I realized you worked directly under her… so I assumed that whatever it is you did, it must've been pretty nasty."

Atton grew uncomfortable. "Well, it was. I… Ugh! I don't know how to say this…" He nervously ran his hand through his hair.

Atton glanced down to his hands. He reached for his pazaak deck and started fidgeting with the cards, carefully avoiding eye contact with Mira, who was patiently waiting. He finally opened his mouth. "I… tortured and killed Jedi for Revan during the Jedi Civil Wars."

Mira didn't look the least bit perturbed. "Okay… and…?" She waited expectantly.

Atton slowly peered back up, his arms lowering back down to the bed. He glanced confusedly at Mira. "And… That's sort of… it," he stammered.

Mira arched her eyebrows. "That's it?" she asked incredulously. "For Force's sake, Rand, you had me thinking it was something it was something unbelievably horrible!"

Atton stared. "You don't think it _was_ something unbelievably horrible?" he faltered.

Mira swiftly smacked the back of his head. He winced terribly and muttered a few curse words. "Of course not! I mean, it's _bad_… but you were at war… you were on the side of the Sith. It was pretty much expected you'd be killing Jedi. Force, you had me thinking all kinds of stuff, you schutta!" She swung her arm out again, but Atton quickly ducked out of the way.

"What kinds of stuff?" He asked blankly. _What could be worse than what I was doing?_

Mira threw her arms up. "I don't know! Stuff… that was worse… Drowning babies… Wearing a brown belt with black boots… You know… Stuff! What you said is basically what I already thought you did!"

"Oh." He glanced down uneasily at the brown belt and black boots he was wearing.

A mischievous smile grew on Mira's lips. "I bet that's not how Jena reacted, huh!"

Atton grinned sheepishly. "Not exactly, no."

Mira's hand distractedly rested on her lightsaber hilt. "Well, in her defense, it probably hit a lot closer to home. Me, I've only been a Jedi for less than two years, while she… Well, it must've been a lot harder for her to forgive. She must really love you. I mean you might have killed some of her…" Mira stopped herself before uttering the word 'friends', feeling it may make Atton feel worse over his past than he already did. She shook her head. "But anyway, it doesn't really matter… You're not that guy anymore. You've changed—a lot. Even since I met you. I think Jena had a lot to do with that." She grinned. "Man, you're going to go crazy when you see her!"

Atton looked grim. "Yeah," he said shortly.

Mira cocked her head at a forty-five degree angle and eyed Atton thoughtfully, her grin melting away. "You don't believe you'll see her again," she stated. "That's why you got so drunk. You think you'll just keep on chasing her for the rest of your life, but you'll never find her." She looked him straight in the eyes, waiting for a response. She waited… and waited…

"Of course not," he finally lied.

"Don't give me that crap, Rand," she muttered crossly, faintly waving the empty glass around. "I know what you're thinking, you pessimistic oaf, and if you think for one second that I'm not going to make sure you find her, after watching you pine for her for weeks last year, you're stupider than I thought." She crossed her arms. "I'm getting you your Jena, and that's final," she said obstinately. "I'm not watching you mope and whine about her again. It was sickening enough the first time around."

Atton smiled weakly as Mira got up resolutely. He watched her leave the room and slid back down to a horizontal position. _This is the worst hangover I've ever had. Actually, I guess that's not true… There was that one time when I was 'Lord Revan's favorite killer'…_ He shuddered. _Yeah, I can almost still feel that one. But still… this one comes at a very close second. I hope those pills Mira gave me come through for me. Nothing could make this hangover worse._ He buried his head under his pillow in an effort to dampen all noises from the ship. He smiled almost blissfully for a moment and basked in the silence. His smile faded quickly when he sensed a presence entering the room… as well as an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Come on, Jaq!" a merciless muffled voice said. "Time to spar!"

"No… Not _you_! You're kidding, right?" Atton said from beneath his pillow. "Come on, Rev… I feel like crap!"

Revan raised an eyebrow and a mocking smile developed on her lips. "I know! Now get up!" A groan escaped from the pillow.

"How come you're not hungover? You must've had almost as much to drink as I did!"

Revan stared. "You don't drink when you play pazaak, do you? Because I can't picture you winning a lot if that's the case… I think drinking makes you forget how to count, my dear… I had _three_ drinks. Remember, you had that stack of empty glasses in front of you when I came to get you…"

"Just leave me alone!" Atton cried. "Why are you doing this?"

Revan pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "Because I won't have you just lay there and feel sorry for yourself, Jaq. You have to learn to fight even if you are in pain." She smirked. "And there's no denying that you're in pain now… So I figured it's a good time for you to learn."

Atton scoffed and immediately winced as a result. "No you didn't, you sadistic schutta! You're just doing this to torment me."

"Well, I'll admit it is an extra perk," Revan said with a self-satisfied grin. "Now come on! You accepted to be trained by me, and dammit! I'm going to train you, whether you're hungover or not."

She uncrossed her arms and held her hand out. She jerked her wrist lightly, and the pillow flew off Atton's head, hit the wall across the room, and fell to the floor with a thump. Atton lifted his head confusedly. Squinting, he looked at Revan, who still stood a few meters away from him, and then at the pillow. "Damn Jedi," he muttered, realizing what Revan had done. He turned to her and said ungraciously, "Fine. You win. I'm coming. There's no telling what you're going to start doing to me if I don't. I do have the scars to prove it." He sat up and unobtrusively slipped his pazaak deck back into his pocket. "But don't ever use your powers against me again," he warned.

Revan threw him a contemptuous glance. "I do what I have to, Jaq. Now follow me, _padawan_."

Atton got up begrudgingly and slowly followed Revan. "So," he said lightly as they walked through the cargo hold door, "who am I fighting today? You? Mira? Dustil?"

Revan quickly turned her head to hide a smile. "Mical."

Atton stared at Revan and blinked twice. "You spiteful little _bishwag_!" he spat. "What did I ever do to you?"

Revan raised an eyebrow, twisted her lips into a smug smile and opened her mouth. However, before she had a chance to say anything, a voice coming from the corridor interrupted her. "Don't worry, Atton, I'm about as rhapsodic about this as you are." Mical walked in through the door, his hand loosely placed on his lightsaber hilt and a sour expression on his face. Atton crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"Then why did you accept to do it? She's not _your_ master…" Atton spoke bitterly, loath to admit Revan's position. "_You_ don't have to do what she says."

Revan snorted. "Since went do _you_ ever do what I say?" she mumbled to herself.

"Perhaps not…" Mical told Atton, smirking over Revan's comment. "However, she did ask me to do this as a favor to her, and I obliged."

_This is not happening…_ Atton briefly shut his eyes and opened them again. _When are those pills going to start kicking in? My head… _He shook his head in disbelief. _Me and Mical with weapons… Why would she ever…?_ He quickly recovered his wits and glared at Mical. "Of course you obliged," he said scathingly. "You always _obliged_ whenever Jena asked you to do something as well." He shut his eyes, sporting a pained expression and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What are you trying to do now, steal _Revan _from Carth?"

Mical rolled his eyes. "Oh, lovely. _That's_ mature."

Atton opened his eyes and stopped rubbing his nose. He glared at Mical. "Well, it's not exactly a long shot. You're a lot more manipulative than you let on. I'm on to you. I know the only reason you even told Revan where to find me is so you could try to use my bond to track down Jena for your own selfish reasons." He scoffed. "It's just like on Telos. I believed you when you said letting her go was what was best for her… Took me a while, but I get it now. It what was best for _you_. It was the only way you could keep me away from her."

"You might want to have your paranoia looked after," Mical said coldly.

"Paranoid? I'm not being paranoid! All you've ever done is try to take Jena from me!" Atton cried.

Mical shielded his eyes with his hand and shook his head slightly. His hand dropped down his face and he opened his mouth, but Revan touched his arm lightly. "That's enough, boys… Remember, there is no passion and all that other stuff." She waved her hand dismissively. "I brought you here to spar like adults, not so you could start a schoolyard fight."

"Then you might have considered organizing this little game on a day I wasn't hungover," Atton grumbled under his breath. "I'm not exactly feeling like my usual charming self," he added sarcastically.

Revan looked away from Atton, pretending he had not spoken. "I want you two to set your differences aside for a few minutes. And I know you can do it. Now please prove I'm right about this, _Jaq_." She suddenly turned back and glared at him. He shrugged. "I want you to learn to control your temper when you're fighting, hungover or not. It's all part of that focusing thing."

Atton clenched his teeth. _There's that word again!_ He heaved a sigh as Revan headed to the far wall and stood with her back up against it. Atton looked at Mical and took a deep breath. "Fine, fine… Let's get this over with." He breathed again. _Guess I should at least try to calm down… Let's see… there is no passion, there is…there is… crap, I forget the rest. Is it peace or serenity? Is there a difference?_ Still trying to remember his Jedi code, he shot a black look at Mical as they both walked toward the center of the room and faced each other. They pulled out their weapons and stood, immobile, glaring at each other, and the idle hum of their lightsabers was the only sound that could be heard in the room. After a few moments, Revan cleared her throat loudly, as neither one of them had budged. Atton finally took a step forward, quickly mimicked by Mical. They both lunged and their blades clashed. Atton slashed down, but Mical quickly moved out of the way and retaliated, missing his mark by a long shot, due to Atton ducking rapidly. Atton narrowed his eyes and determined he would have to make a move Mical wouldn't be able to predict—which would likely be a difficult task. He swung his saber, but Mical quickly parried the blow. Atton pursed his lips, doing his best to forget his headache. _He says_ _he's not up to anything, but I know better._ His lightsaber struck Mical's._ I mean he talked me into letting her go to…_ He blocked a hit. _He's a really good actor. Plays the good boy so everybody trusts him… Hell even Carth trusts him!_ As a reflex, he quickly raised his lightsaber, just in time to block a hit that razed the side of his head. His nostrils caught a slight whiff of singed hair. _Did the schutta just burn my _hair

"Whoa, relax a bit, guys…" Revan said, stepping forward and temporarily interrupting the match. "Atton, you're not focusing. Mical, you might want to try going a bit easier on him. I don't want him to actually get killed." She paused, looked at Atton—who was deep in the process of figuring out how much of his hair had been burned off—cocked an eyebrow, and muttered thoughtfully, "Although…" She sighed, backed away and motioned for them to carry on.

_Go_ easy_ on me?_ thought the outraged Atton, his attention turning away from his hair. Fuming, he set his teeth and started concentrating more on what he was doing. He resolutely re-ignited his lightsaber and charged. His blows became more precise and Mical started avoiding them with a bit more difficulty. The latter briefly frowned as Atton almost managed to strike him, but chuckled after he barely—but successfully—managed to block Atton's hit. Revan interrupted them again.

"Good shot, Jaq. Mical almost missed that one. Though from here I couldn't really tell if that shot was calculated on your part, or if it was pure luck."

Mical smiled contemptuously. "I sincerely doubt any number of haphazard feats like that one would allow you to save your skin in a real battle. Luck only goes so far… and couldn't possibly manage to turn a reprobate into a Jedi," he told Atton.

Revan raised a suspicious eyebrow and glanced scrutinizingly at Mical for a few seconds, while Atton, convinced he had been insulted, but not entirely sure how, still analyzed what he had just heard. "Come on, Mical, lay off the trash talk," Revan finally said, turning around and walking back toward the wall.

Mical peered in Revan's direction, smiled mockingly at Atton and muttered barely loud enough for Atton to hear, "I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise that you've managed to beguile her too. You always did have a way with women, it seems… Although I can hardly understand why."

Atton scoffed. "You're kidding, right? She hates me!"

"While I could not quite condemn anyone for feeling that way, I'm afraid that's not the case. She's rather fond of you, for some strange reason," Mical said quietly.

"Well then she's got a funny way of showing it…" He glanced at the woman standing up against the wall and shook his head in disbelief.

Mical smirked. "Perhaps you would prefer she showed her interest in a more crudely obvious manner, then? What's wrong, Atton? Can't wait for Jena?"

Atton opened his mouth in protest, but got cut off by Revan. "Anytime you're ready!" she called out impatiently from the wall. Her arms were crossed, and she looked rather unimpressed by her pupils.

Atton and Mical wisely decided to begin sparring once again. "Look, Mical, I don't know where you found this spice you've _clearly _been chewing, and I'm not sure I want to ask, but… What are you talking about?" Atton enquired between hits.

"The way you and Liah carry on sometimes…" Mical parried Atton's attack, grinning. "You'd think you were an old married couple. It makes one wonder exactly what it is that exists between you two…"

"There's nothing between 'us two'. Unless of course you count our heart-warming history of hating each other," quipped Atton.

Mical smirked. "Ah yes… your _history_," he said, seemingly amused. "I wonder what Jena will think about that."

Atton shrugged quickly before countering one of Mical's hits. "Jena knows everything she needs to know, not that it's any of your business."

Mical smiled smugly. "Does she, now? By that I suppose you mean you told her of your past as Lord Revan's lackey?" Atton took a step back, flicked off his lightsaber and stared at Mical, who snickered as he switched off his own. "Oh, don't look so surprised. Liah hasn't exactly made a big secret of your past affiliation. You know this yourself. What I haven't been able to figure out is what it is exactly that you did for her… I imagine it must have been rather unpleasant if you managed to upset Jena enough to run away from you on Dantooine."

Atton's nostrils flared. He waved his hands impatiently. "How did you…? She wasn't running from—"

"Less chatting, more sparring!" a clear voice from the far wall commanded. "I don't know what it is you boys are talking about, but I can tell you shouldn't be talking about it right now…" Atton glared at Mical as he re-ignited his lightsaber. Mical imitated him, smirking. Atton vaguely attempted to recall his Jedi code. _He's trying to get my back up. I bet Revan put him up to it. Well, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. There is no… uh… there is no emotion…_

"Jena deserves far more than a callow, unprincipled scoundrel like yourself," Mical suddenly whispered harshly.

Atton easily countered two of Mical's blows, which put him in a relatively better mood. "When did you start resorting to name calling, Mical? I thought that was _my_ area of expertise." A slightly cruel grin spread over his face. "And what are you more upset about? That Jena chose a callow, unprincipled scoundrel like myself… Or that she chose a callow, unprincipled scoundrel like myself… over _you_?" Mical struck Atton's lightsaber so violently that Atton felt the hilt slip a little in his hands. He readjusted his grip and continued mischievously, " What's wrong? Hit a nerve, Mical?"

Mical pursed his lips, but slightly relaxed his features as he struck at Atton twice more, in a more controlled fashion. He tried to smile. "Like anything you could utter would ever generate such a reaction from me. You're giving yourself far too much credit, Atton."

"No… No, I don't think so. I think it burns you that someone you consider your inferior managed to get her by being a general pain in the ass, when you couldn't win her over with your book smarts and your overall good guy attitude."

Mical turned his lightsaber off and stared at Atton. After hesitating a little, Atton did the same. Mical's tone was dangerously calm. "Well, I at least never would have stooped to spying on her when she was meditating with _you_… assuming she ever did."

Atton crossed his arms. "No… All you did was conveniently knock on the door at a very inopportune moment and pretended you hadn't known what was going on."

Mical became pale. "You lowly, squalid cad!" he hissed. "How dare you even _touch_ her?" Properly enraged, he ignited his lightsaber and took a step forward. Atton brandished his weapon and adopted a defensive stance, not breaking eye contact.

"All right boys, I think that's enough sparring for today," Revan declared tentatively, only to immediately realize that both parties were ignoring her. Lowering his defenses, Atton took a bold step toward Mical, but was quickly forced back as he encountered a powerful blow. Another strike caused him to waver and almost lose his grip. Surprised, Atton backed away again. _Well, you certainly did it, Rand. He's _not_ happy with you._ _You're probably the only person in the galaxy to ever manage to piss him off. _He did his best to counter Mical's attacks, but found himself forced to retreat yet again. _I have to stop backing up so much, or I'll be pinned against the wall! _He concentrated on gaining ground. He managed to strike forcefully at Mical's lightsaber, which threw the young man back a few feet. Atton became vaguely aware of something Revan was saying—something muffled that sounded like 'Stop'—but all he could think of was what he was doing. _Have to stay calm… There is no emotion, there is… uh… peace…_ He breathed in deeply as he parried a blow. _There is no passion… there is serenity… Yeah, I think that's it… There is…_ He frowned as he blocked a flurry of attacks from Mical. _There is no… point in trying to stay calm! To hell with it. This guy is making me crazy!_ He felt the anger swell up within him. His frustration, his despair, his resentment, everything he had felt since he had left Jena, all came bursting to the surface. He fought back very suddenly, slashing violently at Mical, and taking great strides, backing him up closer and closer to the wall. Mical attempted to fight back, but he could barely manage to parry Atton's hits.

An image suddenly flashed in Atton's mind and he was touched by a familiar presence. It was very brief, but it was enough to make him forgetall about his outburst of emotion. _Where did…? Was that…?_ Mical took advantage of his sudden hesitation to strike powerfully at Atton's lightsaber, which slipped from his hands, turned itself off and dropped to the floor, rolling away. Atton barely noticed the fact that he was no longer armed. "Jena?" he muttered absent-mindedly, blind to the fact that Mical was swinging his blade back…

"I SAID STOP IT!" Revan yelled, as she threw her hand out and ejected Mical's lightsaber from his hands. It landed on the opposite side of the room as Atton's.

Atton stared in front of him and did not notice Revan's angry countenance, or Mical's slightly shamed and remorseful demeanor. All he could think of was the fact that for one second, he had seen her… that for one second, he had—yes, he _had_ sensed their bond… It had been very furtive, but it had been there. Though search as he might, it was gone again. _No! Not again! It was bad enough the first time! Jena! Couldn't you at least let me know where you are?_ He despairingly turned back and fled the cargo hold without as much as a glance at Revan and Mical

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Ugh! Sorry this chapter took so long... It was a bit of a pain to write. This chapter was actually going to be much longer, but I figured this was likely long enough for one chapter. ;) The good news is, chapter 12 is pretty much all written (I still need to go over it and tweak it a little, but it's pretty much done), so the wait before the next chapter gets posted won't be as long. ;) 

Anyway, as always, I would love to hear what you think about my chapter... And for those who are wondering, yes Jena will be showing up... soon. :)

SS


	12. Sweet Jaq Rand

**Chapter 12 – Sweet Jaq Rand **

By the time Atton came out of hiding, he had managed to compose himself—which was a good thing, he reflected, as his piloting duty would be starting shortly. He slowly sat up on his bed, rubbed his hands down his face, exhaled deeply, closed his eyes for a moment, opened them back up, and sported a fake smile. He got up and his hand mechanically reached for his lightsaber hilt, as it did every time he got up to ensure his weapon was still there. It wasn't. He pursed his lips, determined he would not go back to the cargo hold, for fear he would run into Revan or Mical and have to explain what had happened. He could always get it back later. He wasn't fond of the idea of facing Mical in particular… Mical, who appeared to have lost control just as much as he had. _My fault, really… _He unlocked the door and left the dorm, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, as it was the first time since Bao-Dur had helped him build his lightsaber that he had gone anywhere without it. Flashing his pretend smile again, he briskly walked down the corridor toward the cockpit.

"All right, kids, time for uncle Atton to take over the controls!" he announced in an exaggeratingly bright voice as he walked into room. He paused and realized he had interrupted a very intense game of pazaak between Mira and Dustil. _You'd think they could come up with better things to do with their time if they're going to be alone together in the cockpit. I mean I love pazaak and all, but if I was in their place…_ He paused thoughtfully, scratching the three-day old stubble on his unshaven chin. _A year and a half… It's been a year and a half. No, wait, it might even be longer… How long have we been gone? I can never tell with space travel._ He stifled a groan.

"It's all right, Atton," Mira said, responding to his comment, and never taking her eyes off her side deck. She slapped a card down and grinned victoriously at Dustil. "Your shift's not due to start for a little bit still. Besides, aren't you still hungover? Don't you want to rest more? We're okay to baby-sit the cockpit for a little while longer…"

Atton shrugged, trying to conceal the fact that he desperately yearned to be in his seat, alone with his thoughts. "Yeah, well, I'm all slept out and I could use the distraction. Go on! get out of here. Go to bed, or…" He looked significantly at Mira, then at Dustil. "Or _something_." They both sighed and got up regretfully, gathering up their cards. Dustil pocketed his deck and walked toward the door. Atton grabbed Mira by the arm as she walked past. "Hey," he muttered so Dustil wouldn't hear him. "Why are you kids complaining? You've got the room to yourselves… Haven't you ever heard of Nar Shaddaa rules?" Mira chortled, smacked Atton upside the head, and walked away. "Just stay off my bed, all right?" he added a little louder.

They disappeared out of sight and Atton's smile faded. _Alone at last._ He sat dejectedly down into the pilot's seat, absent-mindedly shuffling his pazaak cards as his thoughts wandered over to Jena. _She was there. I know she was there… _He frowned._ Is it because she knew I was losing control of my emotions? __Or maybe my memory's playing tricks on me and I'm just starting to go crazy—guilt-induced space dementia or something. I need to get off this ship. I've been cooped up in here for way too long. No wonder Mical and I can't stand each other anymore. Come to think of it, I'm not so sure it's a good thing for me to be alone with my thoughts…They're not exactly pleasant these days. I'll just focus on something else. _He reached into his pocket and pulled out his deck. _When in doubt…_ He dealt his cards. After a few hands, apathy set in. His thoughts started to wander again. _Did I really see her? Could she sense what I was feeling? Why wasn't I able to sense her before… or since?_ He quickly shook his head. _No, I can't think about this right now. There's no point. It'll just make me crazy. I have to do something else._ He gathered up his pazaak cards and, smiling sheepishly, dealt a hand of cards for himself and for an invisible opponent.

"Well, I can't sense you, but apparently you might be able to sense me," he muttered. "And I did say you could be right here with me playing pazaak…" He played his turn. _Ten plus six is sixteen…_ He glanced down at his side deck. He had a plus four, minus four card. He grinned. _Too easy. _"Your turn, Jens," he said out loud, smirking at himself. He admitted that while he felt silly, he somehow felt a bit better. He played Jena's turn. _Seven plus five is twelve…_ "I hope you've got yourself some good cards in your side deck, because you're about to get screwed. You'll have to do a lot better than that if you want to beat me." He put down his card. "Twenty. And don't even try to distract me at any time. You're hot, babe, but you're not _that_ hot." _Yes, she is. Stop lying to yourself._ He laughed, and his laughter echoed in the empty room. He froze and broke his smile. He became aware of how alone he really was. He threw the rest of his cards down in disgust. "Jena, _were_ you there?" he muttered. "And… and… why did you just vanish again? I mean…" His impassioned tone grew louder and more desperate. "Don't you think this has gone on long enough? Where _are_ you?" He ran his fingers through his hair impatiently, clutched a fistful and suddenly let go as he gesticulated. "Dammit, Jens, I _love_ you! Where the hell are you hiding?"

The floor creaked, and he suddenly became aware of the presence behind him and wondered why he didn't notice it before. He turned around quickly. Revan silently stood, propped up against the doorframe, staring at him. Her soft, blue sympathetic gaze made Atton realize she had heard everything. "How long have you been standing there, Rev?" he somberly asked, knowing he would likely hate the answer, whatever it was.

"Long enough…" she said, pushing her weight off the doorframe and walking into the room. She was holding his lightsaber in her hand. With a glare, Atton snatched it from her and hooked it back on to his belt.

"Long enough for me to be mildly embarrassed over you hearing the _last_ comment I made, or long enough for me to be thoroughly humiliated over you catching me pretending to be playing pazaak with my…" _My what, exactly?_ "My… well, Jena, anyway, whom I haven't seen in a year and half?"

Revan's eyes sparkled. "The one with the thorough humiliation."

Atton covered his eyes with his hand. "Dammit, Rev, you could've said something earlier… or were you just waiting to see how low I would sink?" he snapped.

Revan smiled weakly. "No, not at all. I… well, I felt a bit bad for you, and… Jaq, you can't give up. We'll find her. The Force…"

"Don't." He held his other hand out categorically. "Don't tell me about the will of the Force. You can't possibly expect me to just sit here and hope we'll run into Jena accidentally, just because you tell me the _Force_ will lead me to her." Atton peered up above his hand. "I've gone this long without your pity, Revan, and I think I can continue on without it," he murmured harshly. "I don't need you feeling _bad_ for me." His eyes dropped back down behind his hand.

"It's not what I meant…" she protested gently. "I… well, I thought what you were doing was _sweet_."

"Sweet? You thought that something I—_Atton Rand_—did was… _sweet_?" There was a distinct note of skepticism in Atton's voice. He peered through his fingers at Revan, who was nodding.

"Yes, Jaq," she muttered. "Hard to believe, I know."

Atton snorted as his hand dropped down. He tried to repress a smirk. "Yeah… who knew, huh? Old Jaq Rand falling in love with a Jedi and being sweet. Well, _I_ call it being _crazy_, but you seem to think it's sweet. All I know is I would've gotten my ass kicked for this, back in the day… likely by _you_!"

Revan smiled demurely. "I wouldn't have kicked your ass, Jaq. I told you, I thought…" She stopped, bit her lip and blinked. "Oh, who am I kidding? I probably would have kicked your ass anyway. Hell, I _did_, and for much less than that. I… I was pretty… unpleasant," she faltered.

"And this is different from now… how, exactly?" asked Atton.

"Gee, thanks," Revan replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, I always give compliments when they're due," he commented. She glared at him for a second and quickly looked away. He frowned when he realized that she looked slightly hurt. Atton felt a pang of guilt. "Hey, Rev, look…" he said uncomfortably. "I didn't mean it like that. You know me… I'm a pain in the ass, especially when I'm grouchy."

"You're telling _me_," Revan mumbled sullenly.

Atton grinned impishly. "Hey, you got me to apologize once—"

"No, I didn't."

Atton's grin vanished. "What are you talking about? I did apologize!"

Revan crossed her arms and looked defiantly at Atton. "No you didn't. You said something about you being a pain in the ass, which—while it _is_ true—is not an apology."

_You've got to be kidding me. _He threw his hands up. "Fine! I'm _sorry_. Is that better, your Lordship?" he said unpleasantly.

"Much." Revan was smirking.

Atton's eyes studied Revan for a few seconds. "That was just you getting me back for being a pain in the ass, wasn't it?" he observed.

Revan's smirk turned into a grin. "Pretty much, yeah."

Atton leaned his head back on the headrest. "Women." He shook his head. "Anyway, now that I've apologized _again_," He spoke emphatically and Revan giggled. "…I was just about to say that you should be happy with the apology you got, because ten years ago, you certainly wouldn't have even gotten that much. Unless, of course, I was trying to get you in the sack," he stated lightly, thoughtlessly gathering up his cards and pocketing them.

Revan coughed loudly. "Excuse me?"

Atton shrugged. "Hey, I never said I used to be the most ethical guy in the galaxy," he said lazily. "But yeah, if Jena and Carth weren't in the picture, and I was still the same guy I was, I bet we'd have already slept together."

Color ran up to Revan's face and she looked uncomfortable. "You're rather… confident about your charm."

"Hey, I just tell it like it is," Atton said casually. "Or rather, like it was. I'm a completely different guy now, plus I've got Jena." He got up and leaned his back against the pilot's seat. "No more of that stuff."

"So it seems," Revan commented cautiously.

"So how did it happen for you?" Atton asked abruptly.

"How did… _what_ happen for me?" she echoed slowly.

"The whole… personality change thing… Love… Carth… I'm not asking you to tell me your cute little story of how you met on the _Endar Spire_ and how he couldn't trust you as far as he could throw you and that you called him a shaved Wookiee or something. I've already heard _that_ one." He sighed. "_Many_ times. Carth is a bit of a… sappy drunk. I was just wondering how _you_ fell for him. I'm just asking because, frankly, the Revan I knew just wasn't like that."

Revan nervously twirled a strand of black hair poking from her ponytail between her fingers. "What do you mean?"

"What do I _mean_?" Atton repeated incredulously. "Do you not remember the fact that you were Dark Lord of the Sith? Do I _really_ need to remind you more than I already do?"

Revan curled her lip. "Oh yes, could you _please_ do?" she replied with dripping sarcasm, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you're no better. The Jaq I knew…" She laughed derisively. "…_Certainly_ wasn't like that either. At least my memory got wiped out. What's _your_ excuse?"

"Jena's my excuse." He blushed and wrinkled his robe with his hand. "I know it sounds stupid, but the second I met her, I wanted to redeem myself for everything I had done for… well, for _you_. All I could think about was saving her… As well as doing many unspeakable acts to her, of course."

"Of course." Revan's eye danced. "So Jena's to blame for all this, then?"

Atton shrugged. "I suppose. I don't know, she just sucked me in… I couldn't _not_ think about her. Believe me, I've tried." He chuckled. "But it's not like I could get away from her, being stuck on the ship."

"So… then how did it happen?"

"How did what happen?" asked Atton.

"Love… Jena…" mocked Revan.

"Didn't she tell you this already?"

Revan shook her head. "Not really. So how did you guys hook up?"

Atton glanced strangely at Revan. "Why do you care? What are we, buddies all of a sudden?"

Revan shrugged. "Curious. Comparing notes." She looked around. "Why, do you have something _better_ to do?"

Atton rolled his eyes and sighed. "Guess not. All right. How did we…" He frowned. "How _did_ we hook up? I don't know, it just sort of happened. I mean, one minute we were arguing, then the next I was kissing her right over…" He pointed with his chin. "…There. But then T3 walked in on us and she bolted. Then a little while later, _again_ in the cockpit, I hugged her, and she once again inexplicably ran away. Then she kissed my cheek before she left for the _Ravager_… again, leaving me behind… Then we hooked up on Malachor V in the portside dorm and I fell asleep, and she… well… took off…"

"Nice pattern."

"You're telling me," Atton said bitterly. "I don't know why I wasn't put off by the fact she kept taking off on me. Not to say I didn't mind… I _did_ mind, but apparently not enough to give up on her. I couldn't."

Revan looked thoughtful. "Did you ever stop to think that you might not have felt the same way about her if it wasn't for her affinity for bonds? I mean it could have all been an illusion…"

Atton shook his head firmly. "I thought about it… but I don't believe it. If that was the case, I don't think I would have been obsessing over her so much when she wasn't around… Or _now_, for that matter. Besides, there was more to it than just putting my life on the line for her. I just wanted to _be_ with her." A foolish, sentimental grin appeared on his face. "She made me laugh… and I made _her_ laugh. And she was so beautiful… and just so damn _hot_!" His sentimental grin turned lustful. "I swear, I don't think there was ever a time when I didn't just want to rip that Jedi robe right off her."

Revan burst out laughing. "You're right, it does sound like it's more than the bond thing… I know men get drawn in by her charisma, but I've never heard of any one of her troops having it this bad for her."

Atton stared at Revan for a moment. "Men get drawn in, do they?" he asked jealously.

"Please tell me you're joking. You're not seriously going to tell me you're jealous about this. And you're not _honestly_ going to tell me you never noticed her having that effect on _other_ men you know!" She scoffed, and her face grew serious. "Jaq, about Mical…"

He shook his head. "I don't really want to talk about that. I was just grouchy, okay? I let my emotions get the better of me. I don't usually do that… well, not _that_ much. I think we were just feeding off each other's frustration. We've been cooped up in here way too long. What's it been now, a month? Two? Three?"

Revan smiled sheepishly. "I'm not sure… I always lose track of time when I'm space traveling."

"Yeah, me too," he said, amazed that someone else could understand how he felt.

"Anyway, about Mical…" Revan insisted. Atton sighed irritably. "If it makes you feel any better, you held out for a lot longer than I thought you would."

Atton looked puzzled. "You mean… you were _expecting_ me to snap?"

"Yeah… I was testing your threshold. You did surprisingly well. Considering the shape you were in, I was almost expecting you to slay Mical the second he walked in through the door." She wrinkled her nose. "_Mical_, however…"

"Didn't do so well, did he?" Atton remarked sarcastically.

Her nose still scrunched up, Revan muttered, "I don't get it. He's always so… calm."

Atton shrugged. "It's always the quiet ones?" He exhaled. "Look. Don't blame Mical. I egged him on, and he… What?" Revan was giving him a half-confused, half-frightened look.

"Nothing, it's just… I'm starting to wonder if I stepped into a different dimension, where Jaq apologizes and then sticks up for an angry Mical."

"Funny. Hey, I've been known to apologize before…" Revan shot him a skeptical look. Atton laughed. "Okay, so I only ever apologized to Jena before. But even _so_… Listen, just… forget about today. Yes, I generally hold grudges, but I'm willing to just let it slide this time. I don't know. Blame the booze."

"Jaq, you're not drunk anymore."

"And that's a good reason not to blame the booze? I always blame the alcohol regardless. Look, can we talk about something else? Please?"

Revan tilted her head and smirked. "Fine. Then tell me why you said Jena's name."

"When?"

"In the cargo hold. When you were fighting Mical and you just… stopped." Looking away, Atton nervously pulled his pazaak deck out. Revan reached over and gently rested her hand on his arm. "_Tell_ me, Jaq," she whispered imploringly.

He shook his head. "It was nothing," he replied gruffly. "Just… thought I saw something. In my head. Maybe even felt something. I don't know… I was sparring and this image just flashed in my mind and I thought… But that couldn't be, right?" Revan gazed into Atton's desperate hazel eyes. "Right?" he repeated feebly.

"I don't know, Jaq," she murmured. "I'm not sure I know what you're… Wait, you said maybe you _saw_ something?" Her eyes opened wide. "What did you see?"

"I don't know… it was really quick. A flash. Jena… and some creatures." He suddenly became aware that Revan's hand was still on his arm. He squirmed uncomfortably.

"Creatures? What creatures?" Revan asked eagerly. She grabbed hold of his other arm. _No, don't grab the other one… let GO! This is getting weird. _

"I don't know… creatures… more like shadows. I didn't have a chance to really see them… There was a pack of them, almost like kath hounds. There was this other creature behind her… One that was shorter than her… and you know how short she is. Like maybe a Jawa or an Ewok or something. That's all I remember, I swear."

Atton did get his wish as far as Revan letting go of his arms went. He however became far more disconcerted when she flung her arms around his neck instead and kissed his cheek. His awkwardness reached new levels when he saw Carth venture into the cockpit. "Rev?" Atton asked with a strangled voice in a subtle attempt to direct her attention toward the door and to get her to let go. _Okay, this certainly doesn't look good…_ He glanced over to Carth, who had stopped and was looking upon the scene with a raised eyebrow and a confused look on his face. _Nope. Doesn't look good at ALL._ He cleared his throat in an attempt to get Revan's attention, and lifted his hand to his neck to pry her hands loose. It didn't work. He looked down at Revan, who was smiling blissfully and who still hadn't let go of him. "Rev? Anytime you want to let go now…" She suddenly looked up, as though she had only just realized he was there. She giggled nervously.

"Sorry, Jaq… It's just that when you said…" She caught a shadow in her peripheral vision just as she noticed that something was amiss in Atton's face. She turned around as Atton spoke up.

"Carth!" he said loudly. "I'm… uh… glad you're here." He simpered. "I think your woman's crazy."

"Oh, I figured that out years ago," Carth told Atton while looking at Revan.

Recovering her wits, Revan ran over to Carth and took his hands in hers. "Carth, Jaq had a vision of Jena."

"That's great," Carth told Revan while looking at Atton.

"Rev was… happy, I guess," Atton explained dully. "Don't know why, I haven't got a clue where Jena is."

Revan looked eagerly up to Carth. "Dustil doesn't need to go to Coruscant right away, does he? I mean we can change our course, can't we?"

Carth kissed Revan's forehead. "Of course, beautiful. To be quite honest, I don't think Dustil's in any rush to get there."

"Yeah, I _guess_ not," Atton scoffed. He watched Carth wordlessly turn and exit the cockpit, after glancing strangely one last time at him. _What the hell's he looking at _me_ for?_ "Hey Rev… Um… You do realize I don't actually know _where_ Jena is, right?"

"I know. I just figured we'd go to Ilum and see if we can find out anything about where she went from there." She started walking toward the galaxy map, but Atton grabbed her by the arm and narrowed his eyes.

"Hold on there, sister. There's something you're not telling me. Why didn't you just suggest that earlier? You were all gung ho about dropping off Dustil before we started looking for Jena, and all of a sudden, it doesn't matter anymore?" He crossed his arms. "What are you hiding from me, Rev?" he demanded.

Revan's smile faded quickly. She shot him a disgusted look. "You and Carth are just the same. Always with the 'I don't trust you' and the 'What are you hiding?'" she said coldly.

Atton snorted. "I can't believe you just compared me to Carth. And yes, I do think there's something you're not telling me."

Revan brusquely pulled her arm away from Atton's hand. "Oh you do, do you?" Blood rushed up to her face. "Fine! You want to know something I'm not telling you? I'm not telling you that I think you are the cockiest schutta in the galaxy, and that I don't know what Jena could've _possibly_ been thinking to sleep with you in the first place, because you, _'Atton'_ Rand, are the most arrogant, irritating fool I have ever met. And that _includes_ Malak and all the Sith. How's _that_ for something I'm not telling you?"

Atton smirked. "Whoa! Where is all that coming from, your Lordship? All I did was ask a question! You're very moody, you know that?" He laughed derisively. "And by the way, that doesn't count, because that's not exactly something you hid from me..."

"And another thing," Revan pursued, ignoring him completely. "I honestly don't know what I could've _possibly_ been thinking when—What the hell is _that_?" They suddenly dropped out of hyperspace and her eyes darted from Atton to the control panel. He quickly turned to see what had caught her attention. A few lights were flashing. "Jaq, what did you _do_?"

Atton, reflecting that he'd never seen that many red lights on in the cockpit, raised his hands in protest. "Hey, I wasn't even _looking_ at the panel. Don't blame _me_!" He peered down. "There's definitely something wrong."

"_Is_ there, now?" she asked sarcastically, gesticulating heavily. "I could've told you _that_! What the hell kind of a pilot are you if you don't even know—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I _know_ what's wrong!" Atton snarled. Turning his attention to the panel, he pushed a few buttons and frowned.

"Well?" Revan asked impatiently.

"Well, now's when it pays off to have our own tech on board. We need to do an emergency landing, stat. Where's the closest planet?"

"What's wr—"

"_Just go to the damn galaxy map, Revan!_" Atton shouted, as he sat down and grabbed the controls and flicked the switch to the emergency power supply.

Revan ran to the map and peered at it curiously for a moment. "This isn't right," she said.

"What's not right?" Atton demanded as he started veering the ship toward a nearby planet, without waiting for Revan to direct him.

"This map. Our current course isn't set for Coruscant. It's set for… _Kessel_." She turned and looked angrily at Atton. "Jaq, did you do this?" she demanded.

"Kess… What? Why would—you know what, we can worry about that later. I have to land this thing so we can find out _exactly_ what the problem is with it." He shook his head. "Dammit!" he exclaimed, slamming his fists down on the controls.

"Yes, I'm sure that will help, Jaq," Revan said sarcastically.

Atton cracked his knuckles. "I could do without your snarky comments, Rev," he commented.

"You might want to remember that and apply that to _you_ next time you open your mouth, Jaq."

Atton exploded. "For Force's sake, Revan, I'm flying this stupid ship of yours, and I'm trying to land it without too much of a mess, so would you mind shutting up for—" A loud noise, accompanied by a sudden shift in the ship's position interrupted him. "_Now_ what?" he snarled. He peeked over to the control panel. "Oh great. _Just_ great."

"What?"

The ship started rattling and Atton had to increase the volume of his voice to be heard. "Well, the good news is we've entered the planet's atmosphere."

"Do I want to hear the bad news?"

"One of the engines stopped working."

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Glad to know so many people enjoyed my last chapter. I find the love/hate relationship everyone seems to have with Mical rather amusing. Get ready to hate him more. ;) 

SS


	13. Minus One, Plus One

**Chapter 13 – Minus One, Plus One**

"How could this many things stop working?" Revan shouted over the vibrations of the ship. She stood over Atton's shoulder and stared down at the lit up control panel. "This ship is a piece of _junk_!"

"Hey lady, it's _your_ ship!" Atton retorted, holding on to the controls as firmly as he could. "And might I suggest sitting down and buckling up, your Lordship? Or perhaps you've not yet been privy to one of my multiple crash landing stories," he said sarcastically. _She's right… I've never seen this many things go wrong at once. How could this possibly…? No, I'm not going to worry about this right now. I need to land this thing even if…_ He glanced down at the panel… _even if the hyperdrive, the main power supply, one of the engines, and Force knows what else have just stopped working._

"What's going on?" yelled Bao-Dur, running into the cockpit.

"Another one?" Atton bellowed. "Will you people please sit the frack _down_? What is _wrong_ with you? 'Oooh!'" he mocked. "'The ship feels like it might be crashing! Let's all run to the cockpit and stand around like we're at a cocktail party!'"

Without a word, Bao-Dur raced past Revan and to the co-pilot's seat, wisely buckling himself in the instant he sat down. He turned back to Revan. "He's serious. I've survived his emergency landings before. _Believe me_, you want to buckle up." Revan nodded and raced outside the cockpit to warn the others.

"Thanks, man," Atton told Bao-Dur.

"For what?"

"For getting rid of my very irritating supervisor. I was _this_ close to letting go of the controls _just_ so I could have the pleasure of choking her with my bare hands before we all died." His eyes were focused on the landscape that was quickly approaching.

"What's wrong with the ship?" Bao-Dur asked before bending his head down toward the control panel. "What stopped working?"

"I don't know. How many parts does this ship have?" Atton retorted. "It would probably be faster to list off what _is_ working. All I know is everything was fine, then the hyperdrive stopped working _again_, and the main power supply cut out. I figured we'd be fine with the emergency power supply to get us landed, but when we entered the atmosphere, one of the engines just stopped working. It's almost as though somebody had planned this. It's like some weird elaborate plan to kill the lot of us." He turned his head toward the main hold and yelled, "Does anybody here owe any credits to the Czerka Corporation or to a Hutt or something?"

With a line forming on his brow, Bao-Dur glanced down to the panel and pushed a few buttons, causing a couple of the lights to go out. "All right, well, focus on landing this thing, and we'll see about fixing it if we make it."

"Sounds like my kind of plan," agreed Atton. Peering out the window, he realized that he was headed straight for a forest. A long string of profanities escaped his mouth. "Just great. How the hell am I supposed to land this thing in the middle of a bunch of trees?"

"Yes," commented Bao-Dur. "Too bad it's not a large collection of cliffs. I hear those make great landing pads."

Atton narrowed his eyes. "Are you _actually_ making a joke under these circumstances?" he vociferated. "This isn't funny. I didn't think I'd have a problem landing, but that was before I realized this entire side of the planet seems to be covered by a forest. This is _not_ good." He heard hurried footsteps down the corridor outside the cockpit. "This had better not be you again, Revan!" he called out to the intruder.

"It's not," said Carth. "I just wanted to see if I could offer you my help."

"Well, not unless you're able to perform miracles and make trees disappear, you can't. We're headed straight into a forest. Now, I'm not sure _we'll_ be able to survive it, but I know _you_ certainly won't if you don't strap yourself to something sturdy."

Carth showed an expression of concern. "Want me to take over? I've done a fair bit of emergency landings…"

Atton sighed irritably and pursed his lips. "Tell him, Bao," he said through his teeth as he vainly searched for an open area in the trees.

Bao-Dur turned around. "Carth, after having witnessed first hand the way Atton got this ship out of a cliff on Malachor, I think I can speak for him when I say that if anybody can do it, _he_ can."

"Thanks, Bao," said Atton without taking his eyes off the planet's surface and smiling as much as present circumstances allowed.

"And if he can't," continued Bao, shrugging, "I would like to say right now that it was a pleasure meeting you, Admiral."

"_Thanks_, Bao," repeated Atton with an increased amount of sarcasm in his voice, and a distinct lack of smile. "Now if you could stop picking on the pilot who's holding your life in his hands, and actually start _helping_ him, it would be much appreciated. Do you see _any_ kind of an opening in those trees? I'm starting to run out of time, here."

Bao-Dur peered doubtfully out the window. "I don't know…"

"Over there!" interjected Carth, pointing at something in the distance. "That looks like some sort of clearing!"

Atton briefly peeked over his shoulder. "Are you still here? Carth, seriously, I realize that being condemned to a lifetime with Revan would make anyone suicidal, but for Force's sake, go sit down. Because if you want to die that badly, that's fine, but if your corpse hits the back of my head as you get ejected from the ship when we crash, I'll be pretty pissed." He veered the ship in the direction of the clearing Carth had pointed out. Carth turned toward the main hold, but the ship suddenly jolted sideways, causing him to trip and land flat against the starboard wall.

"Ouch!" protested Carth, rubbing his chin.

"Well, you _were_ warned," Atton said unsympathetically. He descended toward the clearing. "And now it's too late, we're about to land. Hold on to something."

Carth quickly grabbed hold of the back of Bao-Dur's seat. The Zabrak smiled. "Good move. This way when your corpse gets ejected, it won't hit Atton."

"Are you _always_ this calm during emergency landings?" Carth asked, bewildered, as he leaned over Bao-Dur's shoulder in an effort to stabilize himself.

"Didn't used to be," Bao-Dur replied with a grin. "But to be quite honest, ever since I survived that Malachor V crash, as well as Atton's demented yet successful attempt at dislodging us from the cliffs we were stuck in, I've been a lot less nervous about crashing."

"Hold on!" yelled Atton. Carth and Bao-Dur looked up. The ground was getting very close, very fast. Carth shut his eyes and clutched the back of the seat with all his strength. Bao-Dur's eyes widened and stared helplessly out the window. He didn't move a muscle. Beads of sweat were dripping off Atton's forehead. His hands were fused to the controls and he painstakingly veered the ship toward the ground. He clipped the top of a few trees and cringed as the ship started to wobble. _It's okay… I've been in worse situations… There's no way I'm going to die this way. Not before I see Jena. Not after all this time._ The _Ebon Hawk_ dropped down into the clearing and hit the ground, violently shaking everyone one board. Cursing, Atton still grasped the controls solidly, though he was vaguely aware that nothing he could do would make any difference at this point. The ship slid along the clearing, razing a few bushes as it did so, and came to a sudden and abrupt stop, approximately one meter in front of the trunk of a very large tree. In unison, Atton's and Bao-Dur's bodies jolted forward a bit, before leaning against the back of their seats again. Without a word, Atton cut the power to the engines and sat for a moment, looking at the tree right in front of him. Carth opened his eyes and slowly pried himself loose from Bao-Dur's seat. He looked at Atton, and at the tree, then at Atton again.

"I can't believe you managed to do this without killing us," he said in a strangled, yet admiring tone.

"That was nothing. You should've seen the last time," Atton replied quietly, staring in awe at the tree. "As far as crash landings go, this one went rather smoothly."

Bao-Dur, who hadn't moved a muscle and still stared out the window wide-eyed, said in an eerily calm tone, "Maybe one of us should go check on the girls and Mical and Dustil."

"And the droids," added Atton, just as calmly.

"Right," agreed Bao-Dur, disregarding the oddness that such a statement should be coming from Atton.

Neither moved a muscle. Carth finally recovered his wits and muttered, "I'll go," before turning around and disappearing down the corridor.

"So," began Bao-Dur, finally giving up on his staring contest with the tree and turning to Atton, "Another successful patented Rand crash landing."

"Looks like," replied Atton, blinking a few times. "It's times like these when I really wish I still smoked, cause I sure could use one right about now." His hand slipped down to his side and he unfastened his seat belt. "I'm just glad I actually remembered to buckle up this time. I still have a bit of a scar on my forehead from the Malachor crash." He leaned back in his seat and put his hands behind his head. "I will say, I've come to appreciate that minute I get after crashing when everything's quiet and I can just relax because I know I at least made it through alive _this_ time." He sighed contentedly and put his feet up.

"Jaq Rand, what in the hell was _that_ about?" an irate voice shouted from the corridor.

"Well, _that_ was a short minute," mumbled Atton, lowering his arms again and putting his feet back down, as Bao-Dur chuckled.

Revan came bursting into the cockpit. "Where did you get your piloting license? Win it in a pazaak match?"

"No, but I did almost lose it at one, once," he retorted. "Hey, you should be happy, _my Lord_. You made it out alive. It's the rest of us who should be complaining about _that_. You don't hear anybody else whining, do you?"

A furious voice immediately emanated from the main hold. "Atton Rand, it's the absolute _last_ time I switch piloting shifts with you!"

"You were saying?" Revan said, smiling smugly.

Atton sighed heavily. "She's becoming more like you every day, you know that, right?" he said unpleasantly. "It wasn't bad enough there was _one_ woman on board I couldn't stand…"

Mira, flanked by Dustil, came running into the cockpit. She sported a large red mark on her forehead and a sour expression. "I'm going to have a bruise for days!" she fumed.

Atton pursed his lips and got up. "Oh, I'm sorry, is the wee bounty hunter unhappy that she's still alive because of me? It's not _my_ fault everything on this ship is defective, kid!" He looked around. "And there are _way_ too many people in here. If you whiners want to chew me out for saving your lives, get out to the main hold," he ordered. "I'm sure Carth and Mical will want to join in on the fun. After all, they can whine with the best of them." He pushed everyone out of the way and walked resolutely toward the main hold.

"Well?" Mira demanded as she ran out after him. "Are you going to tell us what happened?"

"I don't _know_ what happened, Mira," Atton replied impatiently, turning around to face her once he had reached the center of the room. "I was just standing in the cockpit talking to Revan, and all hell broke loose. I wasn't even touching the controls at the time, so I dare you to try and pin this on me. Though I'd bet my pazaak deck she's going to find some roundabout way to blame me."

Mira folded her arms and stood, unimpressed, while Revan and Dustil came out of the cockpit right after her. Carth appeared from the corridor leading to the hyperdrive room, Mical trailing a few feet behind him, still in the process of bandaging his own head.

"Unnecessary Statement: I take it the meatbag Rand is somehow to blame for this, as usual," said HK-47, arriving from the starboard corridor.

"Of course he is," snapped Atton, rolling his eyes. "After all, Force forbid we should blame this piece of rust Revan likes to call a ship."

HK's eyes flashed and he turned to Revan as he reached for his blaster. "Request: With your permission, Master?"

Revan shook her head. "No, HK… leave Jaq alone. How's T3?"

"Disappointed Acknowledgement: As you wish, Master. Statement: The Little One seems to have encountered a slight mishap further to colliding with a wall during our descent. Clarification: He appears to have toppled over and doesn't seem to be able to get up."

Horrified, Revan put her hand to her mouth and quickly ran to the garage, from which direction various outraged beeping noises emerged. She promptly returned a moment later accompanied by T3.

"DEET! Dee-deet-BLIP!" the latter exclaimed viciously at HK.

"Condescending Response: You should watch your language around our Master, Little One."

"Bleep dee-deet!"

"All right, enough of that," interrupted Revan, irritated. "We're here to find out what happened, and what we have to do to get off this planet." She turned and looked questioningly at Atton, who shrugged.

"You already know what I know," he said. "Ask Bao-Dur. He's the specialist." He turned around. "Where _is_ he, anyway?"

"I'm right here!" The Zabrak walked into the main hold, holding his hydrospanner. _Does he ever let go of that thing for more than five seconds? I bet he sleeps with it in his hand._ "I was having a look at the control panel. My preliminary report would be that Atton was indeed right about the various breakdowns, which likely occurred through no fault of his own." Atton grinned smugly. _'Atton was indeed right.' I like the sound of that!_ "One thing he didn't notice however was the fact that the power coupling is defective, and that may have triggered a chain reaction which led to the other parts breaking down. I suppose I'm to blame, seeing as I hadn't gotten around to doing a complete and thorough check of the ship."

Revan shook her head. "Don't blame yourself, Bao-Dur… You couldn't possibly know. There was enough to do around here. You couldn't check everything right away. We should have been able to pick up on this ourselves." She turned to the rest of the crew. "Did any of you ever notice anything wrong with the power coupling? Any unusual noises?" Carth, Mira, Dustil and Mical all shook their heads. Atton took a few noiseless steps back and turned to disappear into the cockpit. His efforts proved futile as Revan immediately noticed his movement. "Jaq!" she barked. He slowly turned around to face her, trying to look as guilt-free as possible. "Did _you_ know anything about this?"

Atton hesitated, stuck his hands in his pockets and glanced away. "I _may_ have noticed some ticks in the power coupling a little while back…"

"And you didn't fix it?" Bao-Dur asked incredulously.

Atton's face grew an increasingly bright shade of red as he stammered, "I didn't… I mean I thought I'd wait…"

"You thought you'd wait until the entire ship broke down?" Revan interrupted sharply.

Atton's nostrils flared and his lips tightened. He quickly took his hands out of his pockets. "How was I supposed to know?" he snarled. "Last time we had the power coupling fixed, it ticked for weeks before we got around to it. Didn't you get the ship looked at before you left Telos? I mean what kind of person goes on a galactic expedition that would ultimately lead her to the Unknown Regions without giving her ship a tune-up before leaving?"

The color of Revan's complexion quickly started to rival Atton's. "Don't turn this around on _me_! The ship was working fine when I left. Any discrepancies you noticed should have been fixed or at the very least logged, so we could have it looked at the first chance we got. You're the one who screwed up, Jaq, not me. Maybe if you hadn't been so damn drunk—"

"Will you two settle down and stop playing the point-the-finger game?" Carth interjected irritably, mainly looking at Atton, lest Revan lash out and start taking her frustrations out on him. "This is completely pointless." He chanced a glance at Revan, who did not look impressed in the least. He tried to backtrack a little. "Clearly Atton screwed up—" Atton opened his mouth in protest. Carth raised his hand. "But he couldn't really expect the ship to break down that quickly." He peered over at Atton, who was muttering angrily to himself, and then at Revan, who exhaled deeply.

"I guess," the latter concurred disagreeably. She turned to Bao-Dur. "Can you fix this?"

Bao-Dur shrugged and sighed lightly. "Yes, but it'll take a while. I will also need some parts, and from what I could see before we landed, it's not looking as though there's a lot of civilization on this planet. We might be stuck here for some time."

Atton stopped mumbling obscenities and instead started voicing them out loud. "You've got to be fracking _kidding_ me!" he said after swearing profusely for a straight ten seconds, using words most of the crew had never even heard prior. Incensed, he marched toward the exit ramp. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm planning on getting off this planet and finding Jena." He stopped and turned. "Bao, do you have a list of the parts you need?"

Bao-Dur walked over to Atton, holding a datapad. "It's all on here." Atton snatched it away from him. "Might I however suggest you don't go off alone on a strange planet?" he offered gently.

Atton pocketed the datapad and scoffed. "What's the worst thing that could happen to me? Get killed? I can think of at least two people on this ship who'd be pretty ecstatic about that." He glared at Revan and Mical, turned back, unlatched the ramp and quickly exited the ship.

As he stepped down to the ground, he looked around. He stood in a large clearing, which seemed even bigger than it had when he flew into it. He decisively started walking in one direction. _All of them standing around like a bunch of caged banthas… I'm going to find Jena if it kills me, and if it means I have to go get lost in the forest to find ship parts, so be it._

"Atton!" cried a voice behind him. He frowned and turned around.

"What is it, Mical?" he said coldly.

Mical sensed the hostility in Atton's voice and hesitated. "Look, Atton, I've just been meaning… I wanted to… apologize." His eyes dropped. "For… for… um…"

"For trying to kill me?" Atton offered.

Mical's eyes immediately came back up. "I wasn't trying to _kill_ you!" he protested.

"Right. That's why you swung at me the second I was unarmed," Atton commented sarcastically. "Look. I already told Revan I didn't want to talk about it. Let's just… forget about the whole thing." He started walking toward the forest again.

Mical ran after him. "But I _can't_ forget about it, Atton."

"You can't, or you _won't_?" Atton shook his head, looking disgusted. "Look, I don't care. I just want to find Jena."

"I wish to find her just as much as you do," Mical said slowly, looking somber.

"Oh, I doubt that," Atton replied, every bit as somberly.

"You're not the only one who loves her, you know," said Mical quietly.

Atton shook his head. "_Why_, Mical? Why did you have to bring that up again? You couldn't just pretend for _one_ second that we're not both in love with the same woman? You couldn't pretend that you're not bitter because she loves me and not you?"

Mical stopped and exploded. "Wouldn't _you_ be? Every day I'm on this ship, all I ever hear about is Jena and Atton this, Jena and Atton that. The only one who's ever shown me any consideration over this whole situation is Liah! She tries her best not to mention your names within the same sentence. Though I reckon it's partly out of consideration for her own feelings."

Atton stopped as well and appeared confused. "Her own feel—Oh frack, are you still on about _that_, Mical? Revan does not have any _feelings_ for me. She can barely stand me. And believe me, _that_ feeling is mutual. She loves Carth, not me!"

Mical rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't think it's love… but there's definitely something… something I can't put my finger on... I've seen the way she looks at you…"

Atton rolled his eyes dramatically. "_Now_ who's being paranoid? You're insane, Mical. In-sane."

Mical laughed sardonically. "Am I? All the time you two spend together…"

With a rapid movement of the arm, Atton threw back his cloak and pointed at the hilt of his lightsaber. "She's my _master_, Mical! I _have_ to spend time with her."

"I never spent nearly that much time with Jena when she was training me. But you're always with Revan: sparring, talking, arguing…"

"I argue with her because she makes me crazy!" exploded Atton. "A little bit like _you_ right now. Are you going to accuse me of having feelings for _you_ now?"

"Liah is a beautiful woman, Atton," Mical continued, ignoring Atton's comment. "And you used to argue with Jena a lot too. And you yourself told me it helped with the…" He coughed uncomfortably. "Tension."

"Not like this." Atton could feel his temper rising. "We didn't argue like _this_! I _liked_ Jena! But the more time I spend with the Dark Lord, the more I want to eviscerate her in cruel and unusual ways!"

"I swear, Atton, if you hurt Jena…" Mical warned coldly.

"Mical, that's just… You're being… _Jena's_ the one I love, she's the one I want, the _only_ one I want to be with. _Why_ are you convinced I'm going to hurt her? I haven't touched a woman in a year and a half because I've been waiting for her, which is something I've certainly not done for _any _reason since I was fourteen years old. I haven't even thought about the fact that Revan might be attractive since I first saw her on Nar Shaddaa."

Mical smirked triumphantly. "But you _did_ think about it then… you _have_ considered it."

"Oh for Force's sake!" Atton exclaimed violently, thoroughly exasperated. "What's with the third degree? Why would you care even if I'd slept with every woman in the galaxy? That still won't make her _love_ you, Mical! I could be the biggest schutta she's ever met, I could break her heart and make her hate me and never want to have anything to do with me ever again, but she _still_ wouldn't love you! She loves _me_, Mical. ME! Not you!"

The color suddenly drained from Mical's face. He looked upon Atton with great fury. "All I've ever tried to do was be happy, Atton. And everywhere I go, you're there, destroying what little happiness I've managed to find. All I ever wanted was for Jena to look upon me as I looked her! I've loved Jena since I was twelve years old. _Twelve_! I lost track of her after she went off to war, but not a day went by when I didn't think about her… And when the Force somehow guided her back to me, I couldn't believe my luck. And then I met the _scoundrel_ she was traveling with. You had to be there, shadowing her at all time, spying on us when we meditated together… to think you thought I couldn't see you! And then you finally took advantage of her in the worst possible way. You… You slept with her when she was upset, when she was vulnerable… and _still_ she didn't hold it against you! She loved you the way I loved _her_, the way I will always love her, and for that I will _always_ hate you!"

Atton's eyes widened. He grew slightly fearful. Was this still Mical who was talking to him? He certainly did seem rather different.

"Yes, I _hate_ you, Atton!" cried Mical. "Did you ever doubt it? All this time I was helping you… because I loved _her_. You complained and yelled and pleaded and begged when she tried to leave… and I _helped_ you. I told you to let her go. I made it easier on her… and thus on _you_ as well, because if you had continued on in the direction you were headed, she would have forever resented you. And yet that was _still_ not enough for her. She loved you despite your stupidity. And as for _me_…" He scoffed."Whatever did I get for being there for her, for talking to her when she was upset, for sticking around until she left, while _you_ were off gallivanting on Nar Shaddaa? Whatever did I get for cheering her up whenever she cried over the way you had left—no, _deserted_ her? And she cried, Atton. She cried _constantly_, for days!" Those words hit Atton more than anything else Mical said and he bit his lip to distract himself from the ache he felt in his heart. Mical, disregarding him, animatedly continued, "…What did I get? A hug when she left, and a vague promise of visiting me when she came back—while she had given herself to you, heart, soul and _body_, for much less than I had done."

"Mical…" Atton mumbled, desperately wanting to calm him down.

"I've had _enough_, Atton! I've had enough of you going around whining about how nobody ever listens to you, about how much time we are taking to get to Jena, about how afraid you are you'll never see her again. Don't you see? Already you've had more than I've had… than I'll _ever_ get from her. And I can't even begin to express how much it infuriates me to think that you're still not satisfied with what you've already got. I'm sick and _tired_ of this!"

He threw his hand out in front of him, and Atton was knocked back several feet. He fell to the ground and slid back a bit further. _Is he attacking me? He is! He just…_ Atton quickly got to his feet and resisted Mical's second Force Wave attack. "Mical! What the hell are you—"

"This ends here, Atton," he said pulling out his lightsaber. "And this time, your precious _Revan_ will not be here to save you," he spat venomously.

Atton, still doing his best to recover from the shock clumsily grasped for his hilt, unhooked it, and ignited his lightsaber. _This can't be happening…_

Mical's eyes suddenly grew very wide just as Atton heard a voice yell from behind him, "NO! MICAL! STOP IT!"

Mical froze in stasis just as Atton turned around quickly. That voice!

A short woman clad in purple armor, barely out of the forest, stood with her hand held out in front of her. In her face was a mixture of bewilderment and cold fury. Hiding in the shadows of the forest behind her stood a small dark-haired boy of about eight years of age, but Atton barely noticed him at all. All he could do was stare in awe and in shock at the brunette who stood before him. His hand dropped down and he lost his grip on his lightsaber. The latter fell to the ground and extinguished itself with a hiss. The woman's gaze shifted from Mical to Atton. Her hand lowered slowly as she peered into his eyes.

"Atton!" she said breathlessly.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn... Now who could that _possibly_ be? ;) 

So yesterday I did some math and I have determined that so far (including stuff I haven't uploaded yet), I have written a total of... drum roll... 247 pages (single-spaced) on Mr. Rand since late March (so just over three months, I suppose)! It would appear that I need a new hobby (Yeah, right, like _that'll_ be happening!). _Atton's Motivation_ is now officially longer than _Atton's Redemption_... and to be quite honest, I'm still not entirely sure how long the final product will be. You'd think I'd have a good idea at this point, but I actually don't. We shall see.

Anyway, thanks so much forall the reviews for my last chapter! Wow! I really love getting reviews, because it tells me that I'm not wasting my time. I mean I love writing about Atton and all, but if it wasn't for people letting me know they like my story, I likely would have given up _ages_ ago. After all, it's not like I can cash in on this by getting it published. ;)

SS


	14. The Will of the Force

**Chapter 14 – The Will Of The Force**

"Jena!"

Forgetting all about his dropped lightsaber and Mical, Atton ran over to Jena and, without pausing, gathered her up in his arms, and spun her around. Losing herself in the moment, she giggled uncontrollably.

"Atton," she purred ardently, clutching to him as though her life depended on it. The little boy in the forest took a few cautious steps into the clearing. Oblivious to the fact that anyone else was even alive, Atton stroked Jena's hair rapturously, and effusively kissed her cheek, her ear, her temple, and the top of her head alternately as he drew her close. He blissfully shut his eyes and held her as tightly as he could. _It's over. Thank the Force, it's over!_ He inhaled deeply. _Damn! She still smells good._ He could sense a familiar fluttering in the pit of his stomach. He desperately yearned to kiss her lips, but was afraid to loosen his hold and move in case it was all really just an illusion. _If it is, I just never want to snap out of it. Life will never get better than this._

"Atton, what are you _doing_ here?" Her voice was muffled from her face being firmly pressed up against his chest. "Oh, I missed you _so_ much! I was starting to think I'd never…"

Atton tightened his hold. "I know, Jens, I know…" he said gently, soothingly. _She's here! She's really here! _"Me too. I almost went crazy. I kept telling Revan—"

Jena let go of Atton and backed away from him so suddenly that he lost his balance and scrambled to remain standing. "Revan's with you?" she breathed. "Thank the Force! I was…" She stopped and looked as though she suddenly became aware of their surrounding. She tensed up, peering apprehensively first at Mical, then at the little boy, who was slowly making his way over to where she and Atton were standing. She adamantly grabbed hold of Atton's hand. "Atton, I want you to go back to the ship…" she said, glancing uneasily behind him at the Jedi in stasis. Signs of protest appeared on Atton's face and she lovingly cradled his cheek with the palm of her hand, but was inexorable. "Please, Atton… Mical's not going to be in any mood to see you when he snaps out of stasis, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who'll be able to talk some sense into him right now. Here," she added, not giving him the chance to say anything. Her hand dropped from his face, and she turned, took the boy by the arm, and put his hand in Atton's. "This is Daynn." She waited for a second as though she was looking sign of recognition on Atton's part, but immediately carried on when there was none. "Take him back with you. Take him to Revan. She'll know…" She glanced up at him imploringly. "Make sure nothing happens to him, I beg you. I'll… I'll deal with Mical."

_What's going on?_ Atton frowned slightly. _She wants me to leave her here? NOW?_ "But… Jena, NO! I _just_ found you!" he cried out. _No way am I leaving her alone with that schutta!_

Jena smiled wistfully and gently caressed his cheek. "_Please_, Atton," she said beseechingly. "Just take him to Revan. Please do this for me. I'll be right along, I _promise_." The touch of her skin on his melted his heart. He lifted his free hand and put it on hers, shutting his eyes.

"All right," he said regretfully. "But you'd better make it quick!"

"I will," she vowed. Her hand slid down from Atton's face and she reached out in front of her to call Atton's lightsaber to her. She caught it and handed it to him. "You might need this. There could be vornskrs around. And with us being out of the forest…" She shook her head.

"Vornskrs?" Atton asked as he did his best to hook his lightsaber to his belt with only one hand, his left hand still holding the boy's.

"They're pack animals. There are a lot of them on Myrkr." Atton appeared puzzled. "Myrkr's the planet we're on," she added, reading his mind. "Didn't you know? The vornskrs hunt using the Force. Be _very_ careful. Stay as close as possible to the trees." _The trees? What the hell do trees have to do with any of this?_ She knelt down in front of Daynn. "Go with Atton, sweetie. You can trust him as much as you can trust me." She glanced upwards at Atton as she said those words. The latter smiled at the boy in what was meant to be a reassuring manner, but which mostly came off as awkward. "I'll be back with you shortly," Jena assured Daynn. She got up and tousled the child's hair as he nodded. "Be _good_," she told him as an afterthought, a faint note of apprehension in her voice. He smirked and nodded again. As Atton opened his mouth, Jena noticed that Mical was starting to show signs of recovering from his stasis. "Go," she hissed. "We can talk in a few minutes." She reached for her lightsaber and unhooked it from her belt. Atton gently ran his fingers across her cheek and obediently turned around and led Daynn away. _Who is this kid? Why is he with Jena? What in the hell happened back there? This isn't exactly how I pictured my reunion with Jena. For one thing, there were two people too many, and way too many clothes. What's with that armor she's wearing? What happened to her robe? Though I'm not complaining… Maybe it's because it's been a year and a half, but I think she looked even hotter in that getup._ He hanged his head and shook it._ A bloody year and a half! Frack!_ He furtively glanced over his shoulder and saw Jena standing defensively in front of Mical. _That bishwag had better not lay a finger on her._ He suddenly became aware of a small pair of hazel eyes staring up at him curiously.

"What's a bishwag?" Daynn asked in a clear voice.

Atton suspiciously glanced down at him from the corner of his eye. "It means someone who's untrustworthy." _What are the odds of him asking me this?_ He shook the thought away from his head. He felt compelled to elaborate. "Just don't… um… don't use that word around your mother. I used it around mine once. _Bad_ idea. I'm Atton, by the way."

"Yeah, I know, Jena told me. What kind of a name is Atton, anyway?"

Atton arched an eyebrow. "What kind of a name is Daynn?"

"A better one than Atton," said Daynn, grinning triumphantly.

Atton peered at him suspiciously. _This kid is creeping me out. There's something weird about him… It's almost as though…_

"Jena likes you," stated Daynn.

_I'm rather hoping she more than just _likes_ me, kid…_ "Yeah, yeah, I guess she does…" _Is he going to talk to me like this the entire trip back to the ship?_

"And _you_ like her!"

_Gee, kid, whatever gave you _that_ idea? Was it the hug, the kisses, or the fact that I was throwing a hissy fit over leaving her behind?_ "Yes. Yes, I like her." Atton couldn't resist grinning. "I like her a lot."

Atton suddenly heard a young mischievous voice in his head. _"You love her!"_

Atton stared at Daynn. "What the…?" Daynn exploded into peals of laughter. "How did you do that?" Atton asked incredulously.

The boy ignored his question. "You count cards," he stated. "In your head."

Atton glanced at Daynn even more mistrustfully. "I do. How do you know that?" he demanded.

"Why do you count cards?" Daynn asked innocently.

"So nosy people like you can't read my thoughts," Atton replied dryly. _He's a Force adept. He's got to be. That's why he seems so weird._

Daynn laughed. "It's not a very good trick. It doesn't work very well."

Atton scoffed. "Not with _you_ around, no, I guess not!" _Who _is_ this kid?_

"Jena told you already!" piped the boy. "I'm Daynn!"

Atton narrowed his eyes. "Stop reading my thoughts, kid!" he snarled.

Daynn looked at him curiously. "Why do you say your name is Atton if it's really Jaq?"

"I told you to get out of my _head_!" Atton exclaimed violently, letting go of Daynn's hand and glaring at him.

"You killed a lot of people," continued Daynn, not in the least bit bothered. "Does Jena know this?"

"Yes," Atton answered shortly, slightly amused at the note of protectiveness in Daynn's voice. "Yes, Jena knows this… but did Jena never tell you it's rude to go through people's heads like this?"

Daynn's hazel eyes dropped down. "Yes. I tried to read her mind when I met her… but it was _really_ hard. Not like you. It's easy with you." _Easy? None of the fully trained Jedi I killed ever could do it. _"But she could still tell I was trying. She counts cards in her head too, you know. She said a friend told her to do that. Is that you?"

"Yes." Atton pursed his lips. _A 'friend'?_

"Then she brought me here," Daynn continued. "So we could hide. She said I'd be safe on this planet." _Hide? From what? Or whom?_ Daynn glanced at Atton, looked puzzled and frowned. "I don't know from who… she didn't tell me. She said they could sense me from far away and that I had to hide."

"You're reading my mind again, kid," Atton growled. _Sense him from far away? Why do I have a bad feeling about this?_

Daynn looked guilty. "Please don't tell Jena… There's so many things she told me not to do… I can't remember them _all_!" He pouted.

Atton laughed. "Tell you what, kid, I won't tell her if you promise not to tell anybody about these _other_ thoughts you probably saw in there, but that you're way too young to be seeing."

Daynn's face lit up with an endearing, charming smile. "Deal," he said, grabbing Atton's hand again. Atton smiled clumsily. Daynn pointed at something ahead of them. "Is that your ship?" Atton looked at what he was designating.

"Yup, she's the one," he replied, smiling proudly. His smile faded quickly, and he added begrudgingly, "Well, not technically _my_ ship, as my _dear_ Lord Revan will be quick to correct, but the ship I came in on, yes."

Daynn wrinkled his nose. "It's old. And it's pretty busted up."

Atton smirked. "Yeah, _that_ it is… That schut—" He quickly glanced down at Daynn. "Um… I mean… that _ship's_ been through a lot."

"What's a schutta?" wondered Daynn.

"I didn't _say_ schutta!" exclaimed Atton.

"No, but you were going to…" argued the boy.

"Dammit, kid! I don't need your parents, whoever they are, coming down on me for corrupting their offspring. First rule—stay out of my head. Permanently. _Believe me_, you don't want to know what's in there. Second rule—if I ever use a word you don't understand… don't ask. I don't use complicated words, unless it's words your little innocent ears shouldn't be hearing. Our _good friend_ Mical will be the first one to tell you _that_."

"Why do you call him your friend if you don't like him?" Daynn queried.

Atton shut his eyes and shook his head. "Rule number one, kid. Rule number one. _Out. Of. My. Head._ Now come on… There are some people you need to meet."

Still holding Daynn's hand, he directed him toward the loading ramp. However, before he had the chance to set foot on it, Revan ran out of the ship, flanked by Carth, and walked right up to Atton. Daynn promptly hid behind his unwilling protector.

"Jaq!" Revan snapped. "I've been trying to reach you on your comlink! Why haven't you been answering?"

Atton glanced down to his chest and looked back up at Revan. "That's probably because I don't have it on me," he replied flippantly.

Revan rolled her eyes. "Of course you don't. How silly of me to assume that you'd wander out on your own into an unknown forest on a strange planet _with_ your comlink. What…" She stopped talking and glanced down at Daynn, peering suspiciously at her from behind Atton. She raised an eyebrow. "Jaq, are you aware you have a kid hiding behind you?"

"Kid?" Atton asked lightly. He peeked over his shoulder. "Yeah, that sounds about right," he said casually.

"And to whom, pray tell, does this kid belong?" she continued. Atton shrugged. Revan sighed heavily. "All right… Let me spell it out for you: _why_ is he with you?"

Atton looked at Daynn again and smiled furtively at him. The boy took a few hesitant steps sideways and stood next to him. Atton turned to Revan again. "That's a damn good question, Rev. Why don't you ask Jena when she comes back with Mical? I think she'll be in a better position to answer your questions."

Revan and Carth gasped. "Jena?" asked Revan. "Wait, wait, wait… are you telling me that you found Jena?"

"Well, not exactly… more like she found us, really. Right on time, too, because Mical was starting to go a bit crazy on me again." Revan stared at him accusingly. Atton lifted his hands in protest. "I _swear_ I had nothing to do with it! …Well, not much, anyway. _He_ started it. Daynn here could tell you what happened. He and Jena pretty much witnessed the whole thing. Didn't you, Daynn?"

Revan's head quickly jolted toward the boy. "Did you say… did you say _Daynn_?" she asked Atton quietly whilst staring at the child incredulously.

"Yeah, why?"

Revan put her hand to her mouth, and her widened eyes brimmed with tears. She grabbed Atton's arm with her left hand and squeezed a little too hard for his taste. "Ouch!" he protested. "What is _wrong_ with y—" he began saying, but stopped as soon as Revan let go of him. He frowned and rubbed his arm where Revan had squeezed it, as he glared at her. Taking no notice of him, Revan took a few hesitant steps toward Daynn and stopped, looking at him intently. Daynn tilted his head slightly and looked up at her, wrinkling his brow slightly as though he was trying to figure something out. An understanding smile slowly developed on his face.

"Jena told me she'd take me to you," he said simply.

Revan knelt down in front of him. She studied his features closely as tears silently rolled down her face. She laughed quietly and bitter-sweetly before holding her hand out. Daynn willingly took it, grinning widely, and Revan drew him closer, wrapping her arms tightly around him. Atton and Carth looked confusedly at each other. Carth mouthed the words "What's going on?" and Atton shrugged in response.

"I can't believe I finally found you," whispered Revan, her eyes closed. Atton coughed a little. Revan opened her eyes and, getting back up, took Daynn's hand in hers and turned to face the two men with a half-defiant, half-guilty look in her eyes. She sniffled, wiped her tears away, and swallowed. "Carth… Jaq …" Her voice shook. "This is Daynn. My son."

* * *

_Author's notes:_ Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn... (yes, I realize I said that last chapter) 

Okayyyy… well, I got a veritable onslaught of reviews for my last chapter! Wow:) Thanks for all the reviews! That was awesome! I will now address some of the comments/questions some of you have made. (forgive me if I don't address a personal response to all 21 reviews I got for that chapter...)

First, well, to all the people who were starting to think out far-fetched conspiracy theories about the boy's lineage, I guess you've got your answer now. ;)

Second, about Kessel being an arid planet with no trees…That could be right. I never actually looked up Kessel's description… and that's because they're not _on_ Kessel. :P They crash-landed _on the way to_ Kessel. As I mentioned in this chapter, they're actually on Myrkr. And yes this planet _does_ have trees. Iactually do quite a bit of research before putting stuff like that down on paper (so what I'll be mentioning about Myrkr's fauna over the next few chapters, as far-fetched as it sounds, is actually documented on several sites, including the Star Wars Databank.). I guess that answers the other planet-related question: yes, yes they are on an actual SW Universe planet. I wouldn't feel comfortable just making worlds up. I actually have a printout of the entire SW galaxy and I consult it religiously, as well as several online sources,as I write this fic. What can I say, I'm ana—ermm... I mean "thorough". ;)

To FeeZ: Yes, I'll admit, the comment Mical made was indeed inspired by what you told me (though not copied and pasted as you said ;) ). It did seem like the type of gentlemanly comment Mical would say, and I thought it fit in nicely. I hope you didn't mind. :) And I'll credit you right now for inspiring me with the Daynn idea… though I'm not sure he's _exactly _what you had in mind. :P

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, even though it was a bit on the short side…

SS

P.S.: I just started a Yahoo group because it seemed like a good idea at the time. Feel free to join and harrass me for fanfic updates there! I'll fire off notifications when I do updates. Check out my author page and click on "homepage".


	15. Uncle Jatton

**Chapter 15 – Uncle Jatton**

"Your _son_?" asked Atton, bewildered. "You mean you've _procreated_? Who in their right mind would ever allow _that_ to happen?" He glanced uneasily at Daynn. "Son of the Dark Lord…" He shuddered. "I suddenly have a really bad feeling about this." _I knew there was a reason why he creeps me out!_

Revan ignored Atton's questions and worked hard at avoiding Carth's eyes. She remained quietly defiant.

"Liah?" Carth asked in what was evidently meant to be a casual voice, but which instead came across as rather squeaky and slightly desperate. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Revan resignedly nodded. "Stay with J—Atton, Daynn," she said before following Carth back onto the ship. Atton gesticulated in irritation.

"Of course! Because we all know Uncle Jatton is the designated _Ebon Hawk_ babysitter!" he bellowed after her. _I can't believe she hadn't even told Carth she had a kid! And I thought _I_ was secretive!_ He glanced over at Daynn. _I have to be careful with what I think. This kid… Oh, what the hell do I care what this kid hears? He's _Revan's_ kid!_ "Come on, squirt!" he said out loud. "I'll… um… I'll show you around the ship while we wait for Jena and Mical to come back from their little chat." _Mical… I swear if he even lifts a finger…_

"He won't hurt her, you know," piped Daynn. "You're not the only one who loves her."

Atton frowned. "I told you to stay out of my head. Which rule number is that again, Daynn?"

"One…" Daynn replied meekly. "But I _was_ staying out of your head! Honest! I just guessed!"

Atton sneered. "Sure, you did," he said, unconvinced. _Yeah, like Revan's kid would ever tell the truth… Revan's kid… Too bad, I was almost starting to like the runt. _"Now, come on." He less-than-delicately nudged Daynn on the back of the head. "I don't need to spend any more time alone with you out here. I don't want you accessing any more of those thoughts I warned you about. Your mom's pissed off at me enough already over everything I've ever done. Follow me." He started making his way up the loading ramp, and Daynn, taking great strides to try and keep up with him, followed right behind. _I can't believe Revan's actually got a kid. How old is he, anyway? And who…?_ He frowned suspiciously. "Hey, wait a minute," Atton said, stopping abruptly, causing Daynn to bump into him. The boy rubbed his nose and looked up at Atton indignantly. "If Revan's your mom… who's your dad?"

Daynn shrugged. "Jena didn't tell me names… just that my mom and my dad were Jedi."

_Revan, a Jedi. __That's rich._ Atton looked dubious. "How old are you?"

"Eight and a half."

Atton did some quick math in his head. _This kid was born during the Civil Wars. Yeah, his father's no Jedi. He's a Sith. Malak's the father. Never heard any rumors of her being with anybody else, and everybody knows he and Revan had a thing… No wonder nobody told him who his father was. 'Hey kid, your mom and dad were both Sith lords, and then your mom killed…'_ He stopped and glanced apprehensively at Daynn. The latter had become distracted by a large bug crawling on the loading ramp, and was poking at it with his finger. _I really have to watch what I'm thinking. He probably thinks his dad's still… And I'm really not the one who should be telling him he's…_ A wave of sympathy suddenly swept over Atton. _Poor kid. Everybody's hiding stuff from him. Force knows I know how _that_ feels._ He bent down and clumsily put his hand on Daynn's shoulder. "Come on," he told him gently. "Let's… let's go in." Daynn looked up at Atton, stood up, and stomped energetically on the insect, causing a loud squishing sound and spraying green guts on a thirty centimeter radius—some landing on Atton's boot. Atton looked at his foot and wrinkled his nose. "That was really sick, kid. Rule number three, no squishing bugs that are bigger than your fist if I'm around."

"You have a lot of rules," commented Daynn.

"Oh, there'll be more, don't you worry," Atton promised, finally stepping aboard the ship as he struggled to remove the insect entrails off his boot. The instant they walked into the main hold, they were greeted by Carth's voice booming from the direction of the cockpit.

"Were you _ever_ planning on telling me any of this?" he bellowed at Revan. "Who _else_ knows about this?"

"Only Jena knows," Revan assured, almost as loudly. "I _wanted_ to tell you. I just… They're _looking_ for him, Carth. They're _after_ him," she cried desperately. "I couldn't tell anyone about him—it might have helped them find him. I had to protect him! He's my _son_. You of all people should understand!"

"_Seven years_!" Carth shouted. "I've known you seven years! They can't possibly have been looking for him that long. There was never a time…?"

"I didn't _remember_ him before!" Revan exclaimed tearfully. "Not until I went to the Unknown Regions… and by then they already were searching. Carth, _please_!"

The voices became quieter, and Atton peered uncomfortably at Daynn, whose eyes were aimed fixedly at the cockpit corridor. "Oooo-kay… Seems like your mom's got her hands full right now… and I guess there goes my plan of showing you the cockpit."

"Who's Liah?" asked Daynn, still staring ahead of him.

Atton did a double take. "I'm sorry?"

"The man said, 'Aw, Liah, don't _cry_… I'm sorry, it's just a _little_ surprising, that's all.' And then he laughed, but it didn't sound like he really thought anything was funny."

Atton whistled admiringly. "Powerful little toddler, aren't you? Listen, kid, you probably shouldn't be listening in on your mom's conversation either."

Daynn let out a tiny sigh. "Is that another rule?" he asked plaintively.

Atton shrugged. "The hell should I care? It was just a suggestion. You're _her_ kid, not _mine_. The rules are for things that affect _me_. That being said, rule number four is never listen in on any conversation _I'm_ having. Especially with Jena." He glanced down at Daynn, who rolled his eyes and exhaled dramatically. "And quit your bellyaching!" Atton said unsympathetically. "Now, speaking of Jena, I really need to get back to her to make sure she's okay. I need to find someone who'll look after y—Mira!" he called out to the redhead who had just stepped into the room with Dustil. She slowed down her pace and eyed Atton suspiciously.

"You're not looking for someone to do your work while you get drunk again, are you?"

Atton pretended to be insulted. "Mira, I'm _hurt_. That a beautiful woman like you would automatically assume I'm up to no good just because I happen to strike up a conversation with her…"

Mira put her hand up in front of her and motioned for him to stop. "Knock it off, Rand. I'm not so stupid that I can't tell when you're trying to get me to do something unpleasant. What do you want?" He eyes shifted over to Daynn. She frowned. "Who's the kid?"

"The kid? That's um…" Atton's eye darted over to Daynn, who was starting to wander off in the direction of the medical room. Atton ran off after him and dragged him back to the main hold. Daynn stared blackly at him. Atton tightly held him by the shoulders in front of him. "This is Daynn… He's… well, he's Revan's son."

Mira gasped and Dustil nearly choked on his own spittle. "What?" the latter exclaimed in a strangled voice.

Atton shrugged and let go of Daynn. "Yeah, we were all shocked too. But apparently she's got…" Atton paused and, with sudden realization, added, "Hey! I guess that would make him your step-brother or something." Dustil arched an eyebrow, a borderline terrified look in his eyes.

"Not quite yet, he's not," he said, his voice still faint. He cleared his throat. "I take it from the yelling we heard earlier that Dad did _not_ know about this."

"That would be a most correct assumption." Atton turned to walk away. "Anyway, love to stay and chat, but I have to leave Daynn with you people while I go off to look for—"

"Whoa, you just hold on a minute there, flyboy!" Mira interrupted crossly, folding her arms. "We're not Revan's babysitters. What is it that you have to do that's so important that you have to ditch your little pal?"

Atton rolled his eyes. "Well, as I _was_ about to tell you before you so rudely interrupted me…" He glanced over his left shoulder just in time to see Daynn disappear down the portside corridor. "Dammit, Daynn! Don't force me to set another rule!" he yelled as he ran after him. He re-emerged a few seconds later, bearing a most sour expression, with Daynn tucked under his arm. "What the hell is wrong with you, kid? Can't you stand around and keep still like an actual _person_?" He unceremoniously dropped him back down to the floor. "And _stay_ here. Don't make me put you in stasis." Daynn pouted.

"I want Jena back. She's a lot more fun than _you_," he mumbled sulkily.

Mira gasped. "Atton, did he just say 'Jena'?"

Atton was mildly annoyed. "Well, yeah, that's what I was just about to…"

"Jena's _here_?" Mira squealed.

"YES! JENA'S HERE!" Atton yelled, exasperated. "And if you don't mind, I'd _really_ like to get back to her before Mical… hell I don't even _know_ what he'll do to her. So if you could just look after…"

Mira laughed sardonically and shook her head categorically. "Oh no. No, no, no… You're not dumping this on _me_. Just because I happen to be female doesn't mean I automatically know what to do with kids, you primeval schutta. If you must know, they really creep me out, this one in particular."

Daynn, who had started wandering off toward the starboard corridor, stopped and turned. "Atton, the lady said schutta!" he stated.

"Yes," commented Atton absent-mindedly. "And she can say it because her mom's not here."

Mira burst out laughing. "Atton!" she protested.

"What?" Atton asked irritably. "Are you saying you _would_ say that if she was here?"

Mira smirked. "Atton, I'm an orphan…"

"Oh." Atton looked almost uncomfortable for a few seconds, and shook his head violently. "Stop avoiding the topic!" he declared angrily. "Just look after Revan's kid, already!"

"No way! I'm going with you to find Jena."

Atton clenched his teeth and said coldly, "Well, nobody's going to be going anywhere if I can't find anyone to look after this little…" He stopped, raised an eyebrow, and smiled deviously. "Dustil, my man!" he said underhandedly. "You're almost family. Look after your brother."

Dustil scoffed. "You're kidding, right?"

Atton finally blew up. "All right, well ONE of you better look after him, and I don't care which one. Just pick. Cause I'm leaving." Mira and Dustil exchanged a glance, and without a word, both reached into their pockets and pulled out their pazaak cards. They sat down in the middle of the floor, and Mira started dealing.

"Are you people joking?" cried Atton. "To think everybody says _I'm_ obsessed with pazaak!"

Dustil held his hand up silently as he peered down at his cards and Mira shushed Atton. "We're deciding who gets to go. Quiet." She slapped a card down onto the floor and Dustil rubbed his chin ponderingly. Atton beckoned at Daynn, who approached slowly.

"Learn this, kid," Atton said, pushing the child closer to the two players. "It might save your life one day."

Mira glanced up from her side-deck at the curious hazel eyes peering over her shoulder. "You're kidding, right?" she asked, turning to Atton. "This kid's what, nine?"

"Eight," replied Atton.

"And a half!" Daynn immediately corrected.

"He's eight and a half and you're teaching him how to _gamble_?" Mira asked incredulously.

Atton frowned slightly. "What's the problem? I learned when I was seven, and I turned out all right."

Mira shielded her eyes with her hand and bit her lip, shaking her head in disbelief. Dustil played his card, trying his best not to laugh. "Your turn, Mira," he said.

Still shaking her head, Mira pulled a card from her side-deck and slapped it down onto the floor in front of her. Both Atton and Dustil looked at the card confusedly. Noticing their puzzled glances, she looked down. She had played a plus five card, and her total added up to twenty-one.

"Sith's blood!" she cursed. "That's not the card I meant to play!" She slammed her fist against the floor. What came out of her mouth after that was a string of profanities that caused Dustil to run over to Daynn and alarmingly cover the child's ears with his hands. Atton shook his head.

"Useless, man. He can still hear. He's a Force adept. A particularly strong Force adept, might I add. Makes sense, considering the parents he's got… He can read minds. He probably knows what color underwear you're wearing right now." He glanced at Mira, who was still swearing and gesticulating angrily. "Let's just go… she'll calm down… eventually."

"But what about Daynn?" enquired Dustil. "Mira's not exactly keeping tabs on him right now…"

Atton shrugged, lazily held out his hand and put the child into stasis. "There. Now he won't run away." He turned and briskly walked toward the exit ramp.

"Are you kidding me?" Dustil gasped as he caught up to Atton. "Tell me you did _not_ just put Revan's son in stasis. She is _not_ going to be happy with you when she finds out about this."

"And this is different from every other day… how, exactly?" Atton retorted nonchalantly.

Dustil laughed. "You don't understand… I've seen her _really_ mad…"

Unperturbed, Atton continued on toward the door. "Kid, until you've been Force choked by her, I don't think you'll ever be able to tell me you've seen her really mad. _Believe_ me. And I know she won't Force choke me this time, because then she'd be proving me I'm right about her, and there's not a chance in hell she'd ever allow that to happen."

Dustil glanced curiously at Atton as they stepped down the exit ramp. "So… what you're really saying is you're _wrong_ about her."

Atton stopped in mid-step. "What?" he breathed. He shook his head energetically. "No! I just said…"

Dustil grinned. "What you just said is that Revan will never go back to acting the way she did as Dark Lord because she wants to prove you wrong. You _just_ admitted she won't go back to being Lord Revan."

Atton opened his mouth and closed it again. _Damn Jedi and their logic…_ Dustil burst out laughing. Atton glared at him.

"Don't worry," assured Dustil. "I won't tell her." They headed down the path Atton had used earlier. Dustil did his best to keep up with Atton's strides. "So… I hear we were changing our course before we crashed… That we weren't going to Coruscant after all." Dustil tried to sound indifferent.

"Yeah, I guess that was the case, but I suppose that'll be changing now that we've found Jena. This trip's pretty much over, little buddy."

"Oh." Dustil had a difficult time hiding his disappointment.

Atton smirked. "Yeah, I'll bet you weren't in any rush to get back to that dusty old Jedi temple anytime soon…"

Dustil frowned and glared at Atton. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? Are you insinuating…?"

Atton exhaled loudly and rolled his eyes. "Dustil, Dustil, Dustil… always so suspicious of me. You Onasi boys really need to work on your trust issues, if you ask me. Give me a break. Contrary to the reputation I may have around these parts, I'm not an idiot. I'm talking about you and Mira… hooking up a power coupling, to borrow one of her favorite expressions."

Dustil blushed and grinned sheepishly. "It's not like that…"

Atton furtively glanced down at his feet and noticed his boot still had insect particles on it. He rolled his eyes, stopped walking, and removed his boot. "Sure, and that's what she says too…" he said, shining it with the edge of his robe and grimacing, as he did his best to hold his balance on one foot. "Doesn't mean you wouldn't _like_ to. Trust me, Carth Junior, I've been there."

Dustil smiled understandingly. "You're talking about you and the Exile."

"She has a _name_," snapped Atton. He dropped his boot to the ground and slipped it back on. They immediately resumed their hike.

"Sorry… force of habit… At the temple, they always referred to her as… Never mind. You and Jena, then. How did it happen for you?"

Atton furrowed his brow. "What's with everybody asking me this these days? Are your own lives really that boring? Or do you all get some kind of twisted voyeuristic pleasure out of hearing my stories? I mean, no offense, I like talking to you and all, kid, but I'd really like to get to Jena…"

"And exactly how is talking to me slowing you down?" asked Dustil. "I just wanted to know so I could pick up pointers…" He coughed and colored slightly. "You know… if I ever found somebody I was interested in…"

Atton snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah… 'If'." He exhaled in resignation. "Fine, fine... I don't know, I guess I had many things going for me… good looks, a frustrating personality, the right timing, sheer dumb _luck_…"

Dustil looked perplexed. "So you didn't really… _do_ anything to get the Exi—I mean Jena… to fall for you."

With his eyes looking up in a puzzled manner, Atton pondered for a moment. "Not really, no," he finally said, perplexed. "In fact, for a while I thought she hated me." He laughed heartily. "I was such an ass!"

"_Hated_ you?"

"Well… _hate_ may be a bit too strong of a word," Atton conceded. "Maybe more like… _despised_."

"Why did you think that?"

Atton laughed. "I thought that because it was _true_!" He shrugged. "A woman walks _in her underwear_ into the room where you're being held captive… and apparently you're a schutta just for making a comment or two or for staring at the wrong place." He shook his head. "Trust me, kid, never, _ever_ stare at a strange woman's chest, especially if she's a Jedi. I'm a little surprised I lived to tell the tale, to be quite honest…" He chuckled over the memory.

Dustil scoffed. "What was she doing in her—"

Dustil's comlink suddenly activated itself and Revan's voice was heard. "Dustil? Where are you? Is Jaq with you?" She sounded annoyed.

The two men exchanged glances. _Dammit, she found out about me putting Daynn in stasis. _"Yeah… He's here," Dustil replied, trying to sound casual. "We went to look for Jena." He turned to Atton and mouthed the words, "You're so dead!"

"That's what I thought," said Revan. "Look, you guys need to come back. Jena's contacted us on Mical's comlink. They're headed back this way."

_Is _that_ what this is about? _"Screw that!" Atton interjected angrily. "I'm not turning around! I'm going to go meet her. I'm already halfway there."

There was a pregnant pause at the other end. "Jaq, she specifically asked that no one go meet them." She hesitated. "I think she was mostly referring to you. I… guess that with… Mical… I mean, you didn't exactly explain what happened, but from what I can gather…" Revan sounded uncomfortable.

Atton's teeth snapped shut. "Fine. Fine!" he said unpleasantly. "I've waited a year and a half, I guess I can wait an extra five minutes." He didn't sound convinced. "We'll be right there." He pursed his lips and his nostrils flared. _Mical again. I swear… _

Atton turned abruptly and started making his way back toward the ship. Dustil caught up to him and glanced at him sideways; he was glowering. "Um… Atton?" Dustil asked tentatively in a desperate effort to lighten the mood. "The… underwear thing?"

Atton's head jerked toward him. "What? Oh. Right. Well, it's kind of a long story…" he said vaguely, glancing over his shoulder to see if he could spot anyone coming toward them. When he didn't, he sighed and resignedly answered. "Basically she'd just woken up in med bay all alone and I had been in that force cage for ages… I hadn't even eaten in two or three days. I thought they were being unusually cruel. Turns out they were just dead. And then _she_ walks in…" Despite his bad mood, he couldn't help but repress a smile. "For a second I thought I was hallucinating… but then she starts ordering me around, demanding all sorts of information from me… stuff I couldn't _possibly_ know… and telling me to stop staring at her chest. I figured that if I _was_ hallucinating, I had developed a weird submission fetish during my incarceration." An odd yelping sound was heard off in the far distance. Atton stopped and looked anxiously around them. "Must be those animals Jena was warning me about," he muttered. "You do have your lightsaber, right?" Dustil patted the hilt hanging from his belt. "Good. Ship's not that far off now, but still…" he said absent-mindedly, trailing off.

"It doesn't sound like you and Jena were off to a very good start," commented Dustil, in an effort to focus the conversation back on topic.

"Yeah…"Atton scoffed lightly. "Not really, no. But hey, she was female, she was hot, she was in her underwear, and she was paying attention to me. Already that was more action than I'd had in weeks. But then of course, she found some clothes… _That_ was rather disappointing… We hopped on the _Ebon Hawk_ and got out of there, and then she discovered how much more of a pain I could be."

"So then, how…?" None of it made any sense to Dustil.

Atton rolled his eyes impatiently. "So then one minute she's berating me for being an ass to Mical, and the next minute she comes to see me, and says something about caring about me as she's leaving, so I ran off after her and pulled her back into the cockpit and kissed her, and that's sort of how it started happening. There. You happy?" He glanced over his shoulder again. He still couldn't see anyone coming.

"That's how… _what_ started happening?" Dustil asked wonderingly.

"That's how… _it_ started happening," Atton replied blankly. "Us! Our… thing."

"Your _relationship_?" Dustil grinned.

Atton shrugged. "Sure, if you want to call it that…"

Dustil laughed. "Wow, Mira was right—she told me you had commitment issues… and you really _do_!"

"What? What did she get that from?" Atton protested. "I don't!"

"Right," Dustil said with a smirk. "And that's why you can't even admit in casual conversation that you and Jena have a relationship."

Atton frowned. "Sure I can."

"Then say it. Tell me that she's your _girlfriend_," mocked Dustil. Atton opened his mouth and immediately closed it. Dustil burst into peals of laughter. "I can't believe this! You've been waiting for her all this time, you've traveled from one end of the galaxy to the other looking for her, but you still can't admit that she's your girlfriend."

"It just _sounds_ weird," grumbled Atton. "Besides, I don't see _you_ making any progress on the Mira front."

The shot hit home and Dustil flushed. "Yeah, well, if I did, I at least wouldn't have any problems admitting the existence of our relationship," he snapped, folding his arms.

"All right, all right!" Atton cried out, waving his arms around theatrically. "Fine! Jena and I have a _relationship_. She is my _girlfriend_. Happy?" He felt a little dizzy as the blood drained from his face, and was quite thankful that they had finally arrived at the ship.

Dustil smirked. "Not as happy as I am seeing your face right now. You look terrified."

"Yeah, well, at least you won't be going around telling people that I can't admit I'm in a relationship." He swallowed. "And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a heart attack," he said, making his way up the loading ramp.

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Thanks for all the reviews and to those who have joined my Yahoo Group... I feel so loved! ;) LadyJA: The creature you're thinking of is actually the ysalamiri. The vornskrs are as I described... Here is a quote from the Star Wars Databank: 'As part of a defensive mechanism that protects them from Force-sensitive pack animals called vornskrs, the ysalamiri have developed the unusual ability to "push back" the Force.' 

Okay, so maybe this chapter wasn't all you hoped it would be, as Jena's not even IN this one... However, she'll be back next chapter, and I promise that chapter 16 will be quite eventful. I had a LOT of fun writing that one. (One of my favourites so far...) Anyway, please still feel free to comment on this chapter, and to give me theories, suggestions, anything. (You can also join my Yahoo group and get -- gasp! -- timely responses! Just check out my author page for the link.)

SS


	16. And The Truth Shall

**Chapter 16 – And The Truth Shall Make You Wish You Hadn't Asked**

"Dammit, Rev, what's taking them so long?"

In the main hold, Atton shifted impatiently in his seat, while Revan sat on the floor doing her best to keep Daynn amused. Carth, collapsed in a corner with his back against the wall, was staring in front of him with his eyes glazed over. He flinched as Atton spoke up and gave him a long, thoughtful look. "She'll be along," he muttered absent-mindedly. Mira and Dustil, in a different corner, were doing what they did best—play pazaak—and ignored Atton completely. A clanging sound was emanating from the hyperdrive room. The noise ceased abruptly and was followed by a string of Zabrak curse words. Revan looked up in the direction from whence the words came.

"That's never a good thing to hear coming from your tech," she commented before turning her attention back to Daynn, who had discovered another large insect and gleefully poked at it. Atton noticed what the boy was up to, coughed, and silently held up three fingers. Daynn sighed loudly and played with the bug more cautiously. The banging resumed in the hyperdrive room.

The sound of footsteps shuffling up the loading ramp gave them all a start, and all six occupants of the main hold raised their heads. Atton anxiously got up. A young blonde Jedi walked in and halted suddenly when his eyes locked with Atton's. Mical quickly glanced away as he hurried past him and headed down the hyperdrive room corridor, only to disappear in the medical room and close the door behind him. Only then did they all notice that Jena had been standing behind him. The wrath in Atton's eyes instantly faded away, and a wide grin formed on his lips. He held out his hands and took an eager step toward her. A small boy sitting on the floor however got up and ran to her before Atton had the chance to get any closer.

"Jena!" Daynn cried out happily, throwing his arms around her waist. She smiled gently at him, tousled his hair and kissed the top of his head.

"Were you good?" she asked. Daynn nodded vigorously. Atton raised a dubious eyebrow and folded his arms.

"Mira taught me how to play pazaak!" Daynn announced proudly. All heads in the room turned to Mira. She looked up and blushed.

"What? What the hell _else_ was I going to do with him once Atton dumped him on my lap?" she demanded. Atton gave her a self-satisfied smirk. _So… He's too young to learn to gamble, is he?_ Catching Atton's smug look, she vividly pointed at him. "Hey, _he_ put him in stasis!"

All eyes turned toward Atton. He gaped. _That little…_ "He kept running away!" he vociferated. As he did his best to avoid Revan's horrified glare, his eyes wandered over to Jena. Did she look… _amused_? Atton smiled faintly. _That's my girl, all right…_ His heart beat slightly faster. _My girl… She's finally here._ He took another step forward, his grin returning. Revan suddenly became aware of the situation, and her eyes softened a little. She got up and walked over to Daynn, who still clutched Jena, and gently took his hand.

"Come with me, Daynn… I think Jena and Atton need some time to talk," she said, leading him away from Jena.

"He _loves_ her!" piped Daynn. Jena blushed, and she and Revan exchanged glances. Revan colored slightly and turned away.

"Yes, he does," she murmured, picking the boy up in her arms. "Come on… let's go look for bugs outside." Jena stopped her.

"_Don't_ go too far," she warned. "You never know. And make sure you have your lightsaber." Revan nodded and started walking out of the room. Jena looked thoughtful. "Actually…" She wrinkled her nose ponderingly. "You guys are parked right in front of a tree, right?" Revan nodded.

"Yes… why?"

"Hold on, let me go with you for a minute… I need to check something," Jena said, turning toward the door.

Atton could no longer stop himself. "Jena!" he protested.

Jena smiled faintly. "Don't worry, Atton, this'll only take a minute. It's really important. I'll meet you in the cockpit. I'll be right there."

Carth's eyes shifted from Jena and Revan to Atton, and he pursed his lips. Atton inhaled deeply and clenched his teeth as Jena disappeared behind Revan and Daynn. _Dammit, Jena!_ He brusquely turned and left the room in a huff while Mira and Dustil glanced uncomfortably at each other.

In the cockpit, Atton sulkily dropped down in the pilot's chair. _This is ridiculous. This is getting more and more ridiculous. First she disappears and I can't sense our bond… then I finally find her in the most bizarre way, and she refuses to come back to the ship with me so she can spend time with Mical, who had just tried to _kill_ me… She makes it back to the ship and instead of talking to me, she brushes me off and goes outside with Revan and her brat to talk about something that's 'really important'. Not to mention the fact that I still can't sense our bond normally since I found her. It's been on and off. What the hell is going on? I haven't even gotten the chance to kiss her yet!_ He put his feet up and folded his arms moodily. _What are they talking about out there that's taking so long? Are they talking about me? Is Jena…_

A noise behind him pulled him out of his musings: the door had closed. He peered over his shoulder—Jena, who had taken her armor off and who now wore a simple tunic, stood silently across the room. _Is she hiding again? I didn't sense her presence…_Atton got up and stood beside his seat to greet her, as he had always done before when she came to talk to him in the cockpit. _But now, things are so different… So many things have happened…So many things… _He looked at her and he could feel his heart beat savagely in his chest. _So many things I could do to her right now… _He shut his eyes. _No… no, I can't be thinking about that. I'm mad at her. I want answers, dammit! And she damn well better have some!_ He opened his eyes again and stared at her coldly. They both stood, awkwardly eyeing each other in silence. _I wonder what she's thinking…Probably thinking up the best way to avoid my questions_, he thought bitterly.Jena looked at Atton nervously. She fidgeted slightly—subtly wiping her left hand on the side of her tunic—and alluringly bit her bottom lip. That last action caused Atton to forget all about his annoyance, as he could do nothing but fixate on that lip and start to wish _he_ could bite down on it. _This silence has gone on long enough,_ he sternly told himself._ You are not going to stand here after a year and a half of not seeing her, and stay mad at her. Say something, you idiot!_ He opened his mouth, but closed it again. _Say something already!_ In an extraordinary effort, he managed to move his eyes away from her lips and looked into her eyes. _Damn, she's beautiful…I had no idea I'd miss her _that_ much… I never want to have to let her go again. Right… that's all good stuff—now say it out _loud He closed his eyes._ Say something… ANYTHING!_

He opened his mouth. "Jena, will you marry me?" he blurted. His eyes suddenly widened in shock.

"What?" Jena asked, visibly taken aback.

"_What_?" he repeated incredulously, more to himself than to Jena. _What the HELL did I just say? When I said 'say anything', I didn't really mean ANY thing!_

Jena raised an eyebrow and the corners of her mouth curled slightly as she stifled an urge to laugh. "You just asked me if—"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!" he exclaimed with wide, terror-stricken eyes.

With a mischievous gleam in her eyes, Jena mercilessly insisted. "So… do you want me to answer, or…?"

"NO! Force, no! Don't say anything! I don't think I could deal with the answer one way or the other!"

Jena was no longer able to repress her laugher. This was definitely a lot more like the Atton she remembered. "You know," she said with a twinkle in her eye, "if you want, I _could_ just pretend I didn't hear you…"

"_Could_ you?" he asked gratefully, manifestly relieved. Then realizing he was starting to put his foot in his mouth, he quickly added, "I mean, not that you're not… I mean… not that I don't… um…" He became incredibly flustered and nervously ran his hand through his hair and rested it on the back of his neck.

Jena laughed even harder. "Just shut up before you make it worse, pazaak boy!"

Atton grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I think I'll do that…" he said in an uncharacteristic show of wisdom. He awkwardly made his way to her, clumsily put his arms around her, and drew her to him, his cheek resting up against the side of her head. He shut his eyes and sighed contentedly. "I missed you so much!" he said in a rough whisper.

She chortled. "I guess so, if you were propo—"

His eyes opened wide. "I thought you said you'd pretend you didn't hear me!" he said distressingly.

"Right," she chuckled. "My mistake." Smiling, she gently extricated herself from his arms and coyly glanced up at him. He softly brushed a few strands of hair from her face and held his breath as their eyes met. Something felt very odd in the pit of his stomach. _I can't believe I'm nervous. I'm nervous about kissing her. I've never been nervous about kissing her… or anybody, for that matter. What is she waiting for? Why doesn't _she_ kiss_ me_? Maybe she's waiting for me to do it… or…_ He glanced away slightly. _Or maybe she just doesn't want to kiss me. Maybe that's what all this avoidance thing was about._ The tender smile on his lips faded as he grew worried. The thought had never occurred to him before. He had assumed that Jena had been waiting for him as eagerly as he had been waiting to see her, but what if she had changed her mind about him? _It's been a year and a half, after all… Maybe she… I mean she said she loved me in that message she left on T3, but what if she doesn't anymore and doesn't know how to tell me?_ He briefly shut his eyes, and, clenching his teeth, he backed away slowly.

"Well, I… I suppose you'll want to get some rest…" he said coldly, his eyes devoid of feeling. She looked at him quizzically.

"Rest?" she asked incredulously. "_Rest_?" she repeated louder. Not waiting for a response, Jena threw her arms around his neck and leapt up, wrapping her legs around his waist. As a reflex, he reached over, caught her, and held her up with his hands. Before he had the chance to realize what had happened, she put one of her hands at the back of his head, leaned in, and without warning, pressed her lips against his. He breathed in quickly out of astonishment. Recovering from his surprise, he moved his head toward hers and kissed her harder and more fervently. His heart pounded in his chest, and he felt an irresistible urge to run his hands all over her. He however found it quite impossible to give in to that urge, as both hands were already busy holding her up. Partly breaking the kiss, he frantically looked around the room for a place to set her down. He quickly carried her over to the control panel, and she giggled as he put her down on it. "Here again, huh?" she teased. "It didn't work so well last time…"

He shrugged hurriedly. "I'm willing to bet this time no one will bother us." He grabbed her face with both hands and hungrily tasted her lips to make up for the precious time he had wasted talking, as though not kissing her for a few seconds had been excruciating. His hands slowly slipped down her sides and he gradually moved his lips down to her neck.

Jena slowly opened her eyes, peered down, and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to your robe?" she asked, pointing at the frayed edges.

"Oh, don't you start," Atton growled gently, backing away from her neck, lifting her chin up and kissing her eagerly. Pulling back and smirking, he added, "You should be happy… at least it's clean." He leaned in again, but she turned her head sideways, and his lips landed on her ear. She shook her head disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry," she said sternly, "but that just won't do at all. It'll simply have to come off." She started unfastening his belt. He grinned. _That's my girl… never wastes any time, and gets right to the point. I love this woman._ He kissed her lips as his hands clumsily slid down to her belt and unbuckled it. She stopped what she was doing and glanced down. "Someone's been practicing!" she said mischievously. "When did you learn how to undo these belts?"

He caressed her cheek and pulled her face back toward his. "Oh well you know…" he said breathlessly between kisses. "It's from all the _other_ Jedi masters I've been sleeping with since you left…"

"Shut up," she said gently, smiling as she slipped his robe off his shoulders.

"Yes, _master_," he lasciviously responded as he once again kissed her.

* * *

"Now, this is _definitely_ something I missed," Jena purred as she nestled up closer to Atton. "There was a definite lack of good cuddle partners in the Unknown Regions." 

Atton grinned. "Cuddling, huh? And here I was thinking you were referring to all the other stuff." Jena stuck her tongue out at him. He chuckled as he wrapped his arm more tightly around her and leaned his head back against the cockpit wall. He shut his eyes contentedly. He blindly adjusted the cloak he had draped over both of them in order for it to cover her better. He opened one eye and peered down at her. "You did _lock_ the door when you came in, right?" he asked, vaguely concerned.

"A little late to ask me that, don't you think?" she replied lazily.

"Not necessarily… An hour ago they all knew better than to come anywhere near here. By now they may have forgotten about us."

"Not bloody li-hi-hi-hikely," yawned Jena. "But yes, it's locked. I just hope nobody needs to fix anything in here."

Atton shook his head. "Nah… Bao-Dur'll work around it for now."

Jena suddenly lifted her head. "Oh damn! Bao-Dur's here too? I didn't even say hi to him!" Her body tensed up as though she was about to get up. Atton reached over with his free hand and forced her head back down onto his shoulder.

"No, no, no…" he kindly ordered as he pulled her back. "He'll still be there later when we get out of here. Besides, he's the one who saw you most recently out of all of us. I think I deserve a bit more time with you after all I went through to find you, don't you?" She settled comfortably in Atton's arms again. He gently ran his hand through her hair and she appeared to become even more lethargic. She shut her eyes and smiled blissfully.

"I had a feeling you might come looking for me," she murmured languorously.

"I've become that predictable, have I?" He smiled.

Jena burst out laughing. "Hardly… You still surprise me. Like earlier when you—"

Atton's hand quickly pulled away from Jena's head and he sat up straight. "So help me, Jena, if you say 'when you proposed to me'…" he threatened.

"Well, I _was_ going to say, 'when you managed to undo my belt in less than the usual forty-five seconds'. But you know, now that you mention it…" she teased.

Atton sighed. "Fine, fine, I guess I asked for it…" he grumbled. He leaned back against the wall, stretched his legs out and smirked. "Well, I wish I could take credit for taking the initiative to go track you down myself, but I'm afraid that's entirely Revan's fault. She's the one who came to drag me out of the gutter I was sleeping in. I was too busy getting drunk to consider the fact that maybe you might still be alive and that I could go look for you. Not that I would have known where to look in the first place even if I _had_ been sober."

"You weren't working on Telos?" she asked curiously.

Atton's smile faded, and despite the fact that Jena's tone had been completely devoid of accusation, guilt set in. "Right. You didn't know." He stammered. "I… I'm sorry. I let you down. I seem to constantly let you down." His hand started to fidget with the cloak.

"How have you let me down?" she asked quietly.

"I promised you I'd help with the restoration… And I did! …For the most part. But then when you… when I…" He hesitated.

"When you stopped feeling our bond, you gave up," she stated, finishing his sentence for him. Atton looked away. Jena took his hand. "I'm sorry," she said slowly. "It's my fault, really. I was afraid that might happen… that you might lose hope… but I had no choice… I couldn't let the Sith find out where I was going… So I had to stop using the Force altogether and I had to hide myself so no one would know where I was… and unfortunately that included you. I… I left you the message on T3, hoping it would help you understand that it was all part of the plan. You _did_ get the message, right?"

Atton laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah… yeah, I did, but not till after Revan basically picked my drunken ass up off the Nar Shaddaa cantina floor and threw me onto the _Ebon Hawk_."

"I'm so sorry, Atton," she whispered wistfully.

His hand moved from her shoulder to the top of her head, which he gently rubbed as he kissed her temple. "Hey, don't be. You were doing your job… It's not your fault I gave up that easily. In my defense, I did hang on for a couple months… but then… well…" He looked down. "Didn't even tell anybody I was leaving," he muttered. "Carth must've looked for me for a while." He looked thoughtful. "He never did tell me if he did." He sat up and pulled his cloak up again. "I don't know if he even will say anything at this point… He's been a little weird recently. Kind of quiet. Doesn't talk to me like he used to. I've been spending more time with his son than with him."

Jena let out a weird little laugh. "Well, can you blame him? I mean this whole situation must have been a little strange for him…"

Atton shrugged. "Yeah, I guess… it's not every day you find out the woman you're about to marry has a kid whose father was a Sith. Plus I guess he was already annoyed about the other thing with Revan…"

Jena frowned. "What… _other _thing with Revan?" she asked cautiously.

"Oh… that…" he said dismissively. "It was nothing, really… Just him overreacting to a stupid situation. Must be the whole Onasi paranoia thing. I mean it was just a hug."

Jena seemed confused. "Okay, now I really have no clue what you're talking about."

"Like I said, Jens, it was nothing… Yesterday… or… a couple days ago… It might have even been three days. I'm not sure. You know how I get with space travel." He laughed briefly. "Anyway, I was telling Revan about this vision I had of you… I don't know, she must have guessed that Daynn was with you, because she got all worked up and hugged me and kissed my cheek, which shocked the hell out of me. Honestly, she's been nothing but a complete schutta to me since she picked me up on Nar Shaddaa. She's hiding stuff from me and I don't…" He frowned and shook his head. "Let's not get into that. Anyway, Carth walked in just as she's jumping all over me, and he's been a little weird since then. Like it's my fault his woman's insane." He looked over at Jena. She was wrinkling her nose and she bore a thoughtful and slightly confused expression. "What is it? You're not jealous about that _too_, are you?" he asked incredulously.

She shook her head. "No, no… I was thinking about something else altogether…"

"Good," grinned Atton. He took her hand in his. "Because you've got no reason to be. Quite frankly, after we get off this planet, if I ever see Revan again, it'll be too soon. She drives me up the wall… keeps reminiscing about the Civil War as though those were the good ol' days. She constantly calls me 'Jaq'. Like she can't let it go. I don't see why she can't get used to 'Atton'. It's not like we were so close that she used my name on a regular basis. I only ever saw her half a dozen times. Well, maybe a bit more… I don't know. Quite frankly, I've been trying my best to forget." He laughed, but his laughter died on his lips when he saw Jena's face. "What?" he asked.

"Well…" Jena began slowly, as though she was testing the waters. "It's very likely you'll have to see her after this trip is over."

"Why, cause she's a friend of yours?" He pouted slightly and sighed. "Well, I guess I can put up with her for short visits…" he said half-heartedly. He suddenly smirked. "And if not, then I guess I can go hide at the cantina or the pazaak lounge while she's there, and come back home when the coast is clear." He chuckled again. Jena glanced strangely at Atton and dropped her eyes. "What now?" he demanded, mildly irritated. "You've got that look…" He studied Jena closely, folded his arms and pursed his lips. "The last time you looked like that was because you were hiding the fact that you were going off to the Unknown Regions." He frowned. "Is… Is that what this is? Is that what you've all been hiding from me?" he said accusingly. "Are you going back out there without me again?" _Not that… anything but that… _

"For Force's sake, Atton, that's not it at all," she breathed. "I'm not going anywhere without you. I told you… It's…" She forced a smile. You know what? Never mind… It's really nothing important." She sat up, kissed Atton's cheek, and leaned down to her right side to seize her discarded tunic, which lay on the floor next to them. Atton reached over and grabbed Jena by the wrist, pulling her back toward him.

"I don't think so, babe," he said saucily. "Now you hold on a minute. Revan may be a bad liar, but _you_…" He pointed at her. "…Are an even worse one. You know something. I don't know _what_ you know, but you know something you're keeping from me. I may not trust Revan to tell me the truth, but I trust _you_ not to hide anything from me. Now please tell me what the hell's going on around here?"

Jena bit her lip uneasily and winced. "You _honestly_ don't know?"

"_Obviously_ not!" he cried. "Look, I have no idea what this is about, but all this secret stuff is starting to make me crazy. I bet it's not even as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. So could you just please tell me what it is Revan's been hiding from everyone, so I can happily go back to being semi-sane? Can you please do this for me, Jena?"

Jena gazed into his eyes and nervously ran her fingers on the side of his cheek. She took a deep breath.

* * *

"REVAN?" Atton bellowed angrily at the top of his voice, as he walked briskly through the main hold, still doing up his belt. "REVAN!" he repeated, incensed. He heard a small cough behind him and quickly turned. Mira and Dustil sat on the floor together, pazaak card free for once, and peered up at him. 

"Gee, Atton, who might you possibly be looking for?" Mira asked sarcastically. Atton shot her a baleful look, which caused her mocking smile to vanish instantly. "She's in the cargo hold," she immediately stated.

As Atton started to turn back, Dustil couldn't resist a gibe. "I take it things didn't go so well with Jena…"

Atton's eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. "Oh no," he replied. "Things with Jena went _just_ fine. It's your schutta of a mother I've got issues with." He stalked off toward the hyperdrive room corridor.

Unimpressed, Dustil frowned. "She's not my—" he began to say, and Mira kicked him. "Ouch!" He rubbed his ankle with his hand and glared at her. She shook her head.

"You don't want to contradict him right now," she whispered. "Trust me… I don't know if I've ever seen him this furious. And I was there that day they told him he couldn't be part of the rescue mission when Jena got kidnapped by Go-To."

Down the hall, Atton's voice calling Revan resounded once more.

"Atton, will you just get back—" shouted another voice from the cockpit corridor. Seconds later, Jena came racing out, also struggling with her clothes. She came to a dead stop when she noticed Mira and Dustil sitting on the floor, staring at her just as they had Atton. She pursed her lips, threw her hands up irritably and stamped her foot when she realized that Atton was nowhere to be seen.

"And you thought it would be boring to just sit here," Mira told Dustil. She looked up at Jena. "Well, judging from Atton's reaction, I'd say he knows. Told him, did you?" she enquired with a crooked smile.

Jena rolled her eyes and exhaled deeply. "Y—" She stopped, frowned, and eyed Mira suspiciously. "Hey, how do you even know what this is about? Did Revan…"

Mira shook her head categorically and shrugged. "I know everything that's obvious, my dear."

Jena sighed, leaned her back up against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor next to Mira. "Yeah, it _is_ pretty obvious, isn't it? To be quite honest, I thought he _knew_… I mean, how could he _not_?" She slouched dejectedly and rested her head in the palm of her right hand with a slight pout.

Mira scoffed but still sympathetically put her arm around Jena's shoulders. "He's a man," she whispered. "Women are crazy, but men are stupid… some more than others." Jena smiled wistfully. Mira flicked at Jena's temple. "Of _course_ he didn't know, bantha-brain! It's _Atton_ we're talking about. Force, I love the man like a brother, but even you have to admit, he's a little dim—especially about stuff like that."

Dustil's eyes traveled from Jena to Mira. "What are you two talking about? What was obvious?" he asked with a puzzled expression. Mira smiled condescendingly and patted his head.

"See what I mean?" she asked Jena. "Such a _man_," she mocked, turning back to Dustil and pinching his cheek.

* * *

"REVAN?" Atton bellowed as he turned around the corner toward the cargo hold. 

"WHAT?" demanded an irritated voice coming from within the room. "Do you really need to yell for me from across the ship, Jaq?"

Atton stopped short and smiled contemptibly. He slowed down and made his way to the door at a more leisurely pace. He put his hand on the doorframe and casually swung from it. "Hello, Revan," he drawled, his voice dangerously calm. "I see you're alone. No little bundle of joy to keep you company?"

Revan lifted her head from the storage cylinder through which she was rummaging. "No. Carth is putting Daynn down for the night. It's still early, but he's really tired…"

Atton's scornful smile grew wider. "Well, isn't that _precious_…" he said acerbically. "I guess Carth is one of those naturally born father-types."

Revan frowned suspiciously at Atton's tone. "I… guess so…" She turned her attention back to the storage cylinder. "What is it that you want, Jaq? I take it from the way you were hollering for me that you didn't just come here for small talk." She reached in and pulled out a few food containers. "And please don't yell anymore. Daynn really needs to sleep." She set the containers onto the floor, shut the cylinder tight and turned to face Atton. She folded her arms.

Atton contemplatively stroked his chin and readjusted his approach. "Oh… oh, nothing, really… I just had a few questions," he said innocently.

Revan raised a perplexed eyebrow. "You had a few questions… and _that's_ why you were calling me from across the ship?" she asked dubiously.

Atton concealed a faint sneer, dropped his eyes and stared at his boots in what seemed like an embarrassed fashion. "Yeah… well… It's about Jena."

"Oh?" said Revan, forcibly unconcerned.

"I don't know," he continued hesitantly, his hidden eyes gleaming maliciously. "I was talking to her and… well, something just didn't add up." He stopped, but as Revan was clearly waiting for him to continue, he carried on. "I asked her why she had volunteered to risk her life to go retrieve your son. And I don't know… she wouldn't give me a straight answer. I was hoping you could tell me."

"Well… I don't know, Jaq," Revan replied uneasily as she vainly tried to look at his eyes. "I mean I'm sure she had her reasons. I told you why she was the best choice—she could conceal her presence best out of all of us. I didn't… well, as much as I wanted to go, I didn't think it would be a very good idea for _me_ to go. The fact that I was looking for my own son would certainly have distracted me from potential dangers… I wouldn't have been focusing…"

Atton waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, I get that, I get that… What I don't get is why you let her go… I mean you told me yourself that you were ready to send her home. _She_ told me in her message she left me on that cargo cylinder on wheels that you were _worried_ about her. Now—why would you let her go look for your own son if you were that concerned?"

"She insisted," Revan said quietly.

"And you didn't ask… _why_ she insisted so much?"

"Sure, I did. She said she was the person best suited for the job, and that I simply had to trust her… that she'd never let any harm come to the son of someone she cared about," she breathed. She peered down behind her, crouched down and picked up the food containers she had left on the floor. "Now, if that's all you wanted to know, Jaq, I really should—" Atton gestured lightly with his hand.

"Hold on… I just want to get the whole story… Jena was very elusive. She must've been hanging around you Jedi for too long… She's gotten a bit cryptic." Revan set the food down on top of the cylinder and exhaled resignedly. "So…" he continued. "She went after Daynn, she found him, and then she came… here? Why?" Atton seemed genuinely baffled. "I actually forgot to ask her about that," he said truthfully.

"Oh… that…" Revan sounded less apprehensive. "That's what she was explaining to me when we stepped off the ship earlier… There are creatures on Myrkr—called ysalamiri—that live and feed on trees, and that create a protective bubble to hide from the vornskrs. The Force can't be manipulated or sensed when you're around ysalamiri. So we can't use the Force on most of the planet… though a large area of this clearing is _not_ covered by these bubbles. Actually, the _Ebon Hawk_ seems to have landed right on the border—half the ship is Force-free. The Sith were looking for Daynn, so Jena brought him here to prevent them from sensing him… plus it helped her control him." She smiled faintly and looked away. "He appears to have an ability to penetrate even the most guarded mind."

Atton couldn't repress a smirk. "Yes, I believe I may have already experienced that very _endearing_ talent of his."

"Well, he does have the potential to become very powerful… that's why the Sith want him: so _we_ can't have him."

Atton shook his head rapidly. "All right, fine," he said, adopting his earlier harsher tone. "People can't sense Daynn here, and that's why Jena came here with him. Got it. Didn't it seem strange to you that Jena would be so willing to risk her life to find your son, though?"

Revan frowned. "I _told_ you, Jaq. She told me…"

"Yes, yes, yes," he dismissed. "I know what she _told_ you. I'm asking what _you_ thought. Didn't you find it at all odd?"

"Yes, I did." Her eyes dropped.

Atton smiled smugly. "And do you _still_ find it odd?"

She quickly turned and picked up the food containers again. "Of course I do, Jaq. Why wouldn't I? Now if you don't mind…" Avoiding Atton's gaze, she took a few steps toward the door. Atton raced after her and forcefully pulled her back by the arm. He laughed sardonically, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar, Revan. Didn't I always tell you that you were a terrible liar, _my Lord_?" Revan's face grew ashen and she stammered something inaudible. Atton ignored her feeble attempts at denying his claim. "How could you _possibly_ think I wouldn't find out? To be quite honest, I'm still not sure how you managed to become a Sith Lord in the first place, because you're a horrible liar… but what I'm mostly surprised about is how you managed not to blow your credibility as an Evil Dark Lord after this got out. I mean, it _did_ get out, didn't it Revan? Or were you just as secretive back then? Most would've assumed it was all Malak's doing, like I did… But some of them…" He grinned nastily. "Lord Revan's Favorite Little Killer. No wonder they called me that… I'd always wondered. How long had you been crushing on me, Rev? And you had to wait till I was drunk to make your move. Were you really _that_ insecure, my Lord? Were you afraid I'd turn you down if I was sober? Did you panic after and worry that people would find out about it? I mean, the Dark Lord lusting after one of her lowly Jedi assassins… That can't be good for the ol' image. No wonder you didn't hunt me down after I deserted. I'm just surprised you didn't kill me yourself when you had the chance. It's not like you were above Force choking me."

Revan was livid. "Jaq…" she said pitifully. Her body language told Atton she was about to deny his allegations.

"Will you cut it out, Revan?" he cried impatiently. "Stop trying to hide it from me; I already know! For once in your life, could you please just tell me the truth… the _actual_ truth?" Revan looked away and Atton reached over, pulled her face back toward him and forced her to look into his eyes. "How could you _not_ tell me?" he whispered harshly. "Are you saying you didn't get a chance to tell me about this since you picked me up on Nar Shaddaa and suddenly realized that Jena's 'Atton' was really your 'Jaq'?" He let go of her face and shot her a disgusted glance. "I can't believe you actually let _her_ be the one to tell me. Jena told me, Revan." He grabbed her by both shoulders and shook her lightly. "I had to hear it from JENA," he said vehemently. Revan shut her eyes. "JENA's the one who told me I'm Daynn's father."

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! 

I feel so incredibly evil.

Anyway, blah blah blah, join my Yahoo Group (check my author's page)... Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. ;) (Thanks for the reviews, BTW!)

SS


	17. Lord Revan’s Favorite Little Killer

**Chapter 17 – Lord Revan's Favorite Little Killer**

Jaq Rand sat quietly at a table in a corner of the soldiers' mess. Rowdy groups of Sith soldiers, assassins, and officers surrounded him. Jaq, unlike them, sat on his own with his back to the room—as was his habit—and stared blankly at the glass in front of him. Alcohol was becoming a bit of a rarity in that corner of the galaxy. The Sith's supply was drastically cut shortly after the Jedi Civil War had broken out. Jaq, however, always seemed to have a steady supply. He had made a few useful contacts over the years and easily managed to get alcohol smuggled to him on the space station. Ever since the war started, he had only run out once; and considering the fact that some of the soldiers had not as much as smelled any kind of alcohol in a few months, Jaq's source was clearly reliable. He had made it a habit of always having a flask of Corellian brandy on him. That is, always except for that particular day: after had happened, he had decided that one was simply not going to be enough.

He downed his drink and shut his eyes with a pained expression. That Jedi… He exhaled deeply. There was something about what she had said… about what she had told him… She had known exactly what to say. He still wasn't sure whether he should trust her. Jedi did lie and manipulate, after all. And she was likely no exception. He reached into his uniform pocket, pulled out his flask and pour himself another drink. He shook his head. If the Jedi had been right… and in his heart, he knew she was… then he was in danger. He had met with Lord Revan a few times already, and each time she had kept him around longer, though they had never been completely alone together. Darth Malak was always there with her—inexplicably glaring at him, though Jaq had never thought much of it; Malak was always glaring at somebody. But Revan had seemed… well, Jaq wouldn't have gone as far as saying she was _interested_ in him, but she definitely seemed intrigued. If she didn't already know Jaq had the Force in him, she was bound to realize it the next time she saw him… and then what?

He slammed back his drink and reached into his pocket again. He frowned. The flask felt unusually light. He emptied it into his glass, then pulled out a second flask from a different pocket, and filled the glass to the rim. He raised it to his lips and proceeded to glance uneasily around the room. She was back. Jaq had heard that Lord Revan was back on the space station. He hadn't seen her in a long time: a few months… maybe even up to a year. He hadn't exactly been keeping track. She couldn't afford to stay put for too long, with the war going on and every single Jedi in the galaxy looking for her. And beside—he suspected that she had been out in the Unknown Regions during that time, breaking Jedi—turning them, just as that Jedi had described to him earlier that day… and just as she had claimed Revan would do to _him_. And then he'd _truly_ become Lord Revan's Favorite Little Killer.

He sneered and snorted. _Why the hell would they call me that, anyway? The woman barely ever talks to me. I don't even know what she looks like! I suppose I did bring her more than my share of captured Jedi, and she did tell me once she was glad to have soldiers like me on her side, but still…_ His stomach churned over the memory. Never in his life had he felt so proud as he had that day, and thinking about it now almost made him nauseous. She had always known exactly what to tell him, and he had always faithfully followed her without question, regardless of whether he agreed with her or not. It never even occurred to him to disagree with her. He had no idea what she really looked like, but never had he felt so attracted to a woman before… yet at the same time he loathed her more than anyone he'd ever met.

He shuddered. He grabbed his flask one more time, twisted the cap, and just as he was about to pour himself another glass, stopped, shrugged and started drinking straight from it. After all, he had stopped mixing his drinks half an hour ago, and was now drinking straight alcohol, without even bothering with ice cubes. Was there even a reason to use a glass at this point?

_Glad to have soldiers like me on her side, she says… Not entirely sure if I even want to be on her side anymore. I don't want to be on _any_ side. I just want to get away from all this. What did that Jedi schutta do to me today? Damn Jedi… I knew she'd be trouble—had a bad feeling about her. Glad I killed her. I need to forget what happened._

As Jaq took another swig from his flask, what he tried most to forget was the new emotion he could feel swelling from within him: guilt. He was used to anger, impatience, lust… _especially_ lust. He had even controlled them and used them to his advantage—that was why he had been successful at capturing and killing Jedi. But now, since that last Jedi had shown him an echo of the Force right before he killed her, he couldn't stop feeling. All his emotions came tumbling out, and for the first time since he blindly and faithfully followed Revan after the Mandalorian Wars, he started second-guessing himself. And now the guilt—he took another swig. Well the guilt certainly did seem easier to bear now that he had a few drinks in him. _A few… right… I lost count. Am I on my second or third flask at this point? Must be the second… I'd be passed out on the floor if I was on my third, and soldiers would be rooting through my pockets right about now._ He vaguely felt around his pockets to check how many empty flasks were on him, but he shrugged and resumed drinking right away. _Bah. Does it matter? As long as I forget all that's happened today… As long as I forget about this guilt. This stupid, stupid guilt that's going to get me noticed, singled out and shipped off to the Unknown Regions. When I see Revan… and I know I will; every time she's on the station I see her. When I see her…_ He shut his eyes and shielded them with his hands, his elbows leaned on the table. He groaned. _What am I going to do? I can't stay… I don't even know why I came back to the space station after killing that Jedi… But I can't _leave_! They'll hunt me down and kill me. Deserting the Sith wouldn't be as easy as deserting the Republic. Revan—_

Jaq frowned as he sensed an ominous presence nearby. _Total is fourteen… play plus six card… total is twenty, I take the match. Deal new game…_ Jaq opened his eyes and raised his head, a smug grin on his lips, and turned around. _If you think you'll be able to catch me off-guard, _my Lord_…_

Looking up, he stared directly at Revan who now stood wordlessly before him. That is, he guessed it was Revan, because he knew what her presence felt like. In fact, she looked nothing like she had when he last saw her. _Strange, I didn't think she even owned any other clothes. You can actually tell she's female today. That's quite the improvement. Still can't see her face, though…_ He swallowed as he took in her new appearance, his eyes slowly making their way up. A long, black cloak covered her entire body as usual, but hugged her curves a bit better. A hood loosely framed her masked face, but failed to completely hide her long black hair. Jaq's grin vanished when he noticed her hair. He had never seen it before, and it made her look almost… human. An irresistible urge to feel that hair between his fingers and to rip that mask off came over him. _Damn Jedi… what did she _do_ to me?_ he asked himself yet again. _I can't even control my emotions anymore… I'm actually lusting after Lord Revan. The hell is wrong with me? Am I really that desperate? She's the most sadistic person I've ever met. Sometimes I wonder about myself, I really do…_

Realizing he had been silently ogling the Dark Lord for far too long, Jaq recovered his cocky expression and deliberately spun back around, dropped his eyes down to the table and turned his attention back to drinking. "'Sup, Rev?" he muttered irreverently after swallowing a mouthful of brandy. _Gotta play dumb. Can't have her guess what I'm thinking… what happened today… what I know…_ He furiously counted cards as he did his best to project the only emotions he could feel at that moment: fear and lust.

Revan slowly walked over and stood to his right. He could almost sense her sneer beneath her mask as she answered with a drawl, "Rev? _That's_ a new one…" She laughed unpleasantly. Jaq took a drink in a valiant effort to appear nonchalant. Revan's eyes dropped down to the bottle. "I think you've been drinking too much, Jaq," she said with a threatening snarl. _She remembers my name? I can't figure out whether that's a good or a bad thing…_ He raised the flask to his lips once more before replying.

"Too much?" he asked flippantly. "Define 'too much', Lord…" He eyed her pleasing figure lecherously. "Or should I say 'Lady'?" he added with an insolent, vulgar smile. _Can't have her know… She can't find out… There's no way I'm getting shipped off to the Unknown—_

"Get up, Jaq Rand!" she ordered in a cold, haughty, dangerous tone. _Yup. A bad thing. Definitely a bad thing that she remembers my name._ He reluctantly obeyed and faced her. Her hand rose slowly as she spoke. "You know perfectly well how you should be addressing your Lord…" Her hand twitched slightly and he felt something pressing on either side of his trachea. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. Revan continued calmly and cruelly, "And I'm quite certain you know that _that_ is not the way…" He felt his throat become increasingly constricted and breathing grew more difficult. Blood rushed to his head and he vainly tugged at his uniform collar. _I'm going to die. She's going to kill me like she did with that other guy I saw get choked. Well, I guess it's not so bad… easy way out of this. I'm not going to give that schutta the satisfaction of seeing me cower and beg for my life. It's not worth that much._

He drew himself up and tried to stare Revan down as much as he could, considering his state of inebriation, and the fact he was no longer able to breathe. He made no effort to hide the contempt and hatred he felt for her as he glared at her. He suddenly felt his throat get released, and the pounding he was starting to feel in his head went away. Not breaking eye contact, he breathed in deeply, pursed his lips, and shot Revan a black look.

"Yes, of course," he said icily. He narrowed his eyes. "Forgive me, _Lord Revan_," he added with scornful emphasis. Jaq pivoted back toward the table, assuming that the Dark Lord would turn and leave him alone. He deliberately sat back down, cleared his throat again, and chugged back the rest of his brandy. As he twisted the cap back on, he noticed that the foreboding presence beside him had not moved.

"You are quite willful, Jaq Rand," said the cruel voice to his right. Did she sound… amused? _No, that can't be right…_

Jaq turned to the one who addressed him and gazed steadily at her. "Yes, _my Lord_, I am," he said smugly. She folded her arms and appeared to be studying him closely.

"There's something else, though," she said coldly, ponderingly. "Something strange about you…" _She knows. She knows you're a Force adept. Dammit, Jaq! You're not hiding it well enough!_ Revan cackled unpleasantly. "Your thoughts are very slippery, but there's definitely something different about you…" Jaq tried to look uninterested. He shrugged.

"Yeah, I suppose there is," he said as casually as he could. "The others always say I'm weird. That's probably why I'm sitting here getting drunk by myself as opposed to over there." He gestured toward the various other crowded tables around the room.

Revan laughed sardonically. Jaq couldn't help but cringe slightly. Hers was definitely an unpleasant laugh—but he somehow felt that if it wasn't for its bitterness and its cruel undertones, he might rather like it. She eyed him mockingly. "You must take me for a fool if you think for one second that I'm going to buy that explanation of yours," she said, sneering.

Jaq shrugged again. "Well, either you're a fool for buying the explanation, or I am one for thinking you might. Either way, one of us is a fool; and might I say, better you than me, Lordship." _Did you just call her a fool? Will you shut up? She already Force choked you for less!_

Expecting the worst, Jaq half-shut his eyes and braced himself for Lord Revan's reaction; but much to his surprise, she only laughed again. He waited apprehensively. "Well, I'll tell you this much, Rand, you've got balls. Either that or you're drunk and you're just plain stupid. You're lucky I don't kill you for that comment." She gazed at him steadily for a moment. "Although I might still torture you a bit. I can't have you or anyone else think they can get away with being this brazen." She unfolded her arms and started moving her hand up again. Jaq quickly shut his eyes, and Revan laughed. "Come with me, Jaq," she ordered.

Jaq opened his eyes one at a time. "I beg your pardon?" he asked, forgetting the fact that he was trying to be as impudent as possible.

"I said come with me, and don't make me say it a third time," she snapped. "I want to talk to you…" She quickly glanced around the room. "Alone."

_This isn't good. If she was going to kill me, she'd have already done so. Crowds never stop her. No, it's something else. She knows about me. Maybe she knows I'm starting to think of deserting. I shouldn't follow her, but what other choice do I have?_

"Do I… get to find out what this is about?" he hazarded to ask.

"I'll tell you when we're _alone_," she insisted sharply. "Stop making me repeat myself, Jaq."

Jaq cringed inwardly. _Yes. Anger the Dark Lord of the Sith. Keep it up, Rand, and soon you won't even be able to ask questions._ Without another word, Revan turned and walked out of the mess. Jaq quickly pocketed his empty flask and walked out after her as speedily as his inebriated state allowed him.

He followed her down the corridor. Revan walked rather briskly, never looking over her shoulder to see whether he was behind her or not, and Jaq was finding it difficult to keep up with her. _Dammit, I wish I hadn't drunk this much… I'm lucky if I even remember this conversation we're about to have. Why do I picture myself waking up on some planet in the Unknown Regions? Where is she taking me?_ They turned down toward an area of the station Jaq wasn't familiar with. _The officers' quarters… Never thought I'd find myself in this area… stumbling behind Lord Revan, no less._ She stopped at a door at the end of the hallway and gently moved her hand in front of the lock. Jaq heard a loud click and the door opened of its own accord. Revan walked in, and Jaq hurried into the room right after her. The door closed very suddenly behind him and startled him. He swallowed uneasily. _Six and ten and two and two and stand. Twenty—win the hand. Now five and seven and…_

Revan slowly turned around and pulled her hood back. Jaq gasped lightly and suddenly forgot to count cards, staring at her in awe as she reached up to her face and removed her mask, revealing an ice-cold blue gaze and a cruel mouth. Jaq swallowed again. _Maybe it's because I haven't been around a woman I wasn't expected to kill in the past couple months… But man, she's quite… Wow… I'm pretty sure it's not just the booze talking. This woman is gorgeous. Or at least she would be if she didn't look so… vicious._

Her mouth twisted itself into a mocking smile. "See anything you like, Jaq?" she asked derisively, referring to the fact that he had not done anything for a few minutes, safe from staring at her in awe.

He violently shook his head to snap himself out of his daze. "No, my Lord… I mean, yes…" he stammered. "I mean—I wasn't expecting… I didn't think…"

She held her hand up deprecatingly. "Stop. Just… stop." She temporarily lost her cold demeanor and shook her head in mild irritation and incredulity. "There's no way you can finish this sentence without making me feel like I should kill you for one reason or another. And I didn't bring you here to kill you. You know that as well as I do, so stop tempting me."

Jaq's eyes dropped to the floor. "Right. I'm… Um…" he muttered. _Oh no. You are NOT about to apologize to her. I mean, I know she's hot, but come on!_ Revan clearly was waiting for him to finish his sentence, so he chose to mumble something incomprehensible that remotely sounded as though he was agreeing with her. Revan smirked lightly and Jaq risked looking up at her again, suddenly finding it very easy to project certain emotions, lust in particular. He frowned. _She's the Dark Lord! What is wrong with you? You hate her! She's the most attractive woman who's paid any attention to you in months, but she's still the sadistic schutta you've grown to hate, and she's going to ship you off to the Unknown Regions so you can become one of her dark Jedi._ He drew himself up. _No. Not a Jedi. Not me. Light or dark, it's all the same… Nobody will ever turn _me_ into a damn Jedi. I don't care how hot the woman is._ He looked away again. Revan smiled.

"Well, I suppose now that you're done leering at me, I can tell you why I actually brought you here." _Here it comes…_ She looked at him intently. _…and seventeen plus four is twenty-one. Play minus one card, and win the match. Now four plus…_ Revan grinned wickedly. "Well, I suppose that since you're concealing your thoughts behind that silly card counting game of yours, that means you have a pretty good idea why you're here."

Jaq kept his gaze away from her. _Four plus seven plus six…_

"JAQ!" Revan barked.

Jaq suddenly looked up. "Yes, _my Lord_?"

Revan sighed heavily. "Look. There's no point in trying to hide your thoughts. I know you're a Force adept. I know you know it too, and that you're deathly afraid of me finding out. I know you don't want to become a Jedi. And quite frankly, I can't really blame you. I hate Jedi as well. The Jedi Order sat back and refused to move a finger when I—and Malak… and many of my friends… all decided to _do_ something about the Mandalorian threat. And I know that you hate the entire Order for it."

_Is that why you're telling me what I want to hear, my Lord? Is that why you're trying to sound like the reasonable, misunderstood woman that I know you're not? What are you trying to _sell_ me, my Lord?_

Revan tilted her head and continued to speak passionately. "And that hate is what has driven you to capture and kill Jedi for me so effectively, and I command you for it. You've been my most effective assassin, and if you think that I was blind to the fact that the Force was guiding you, you are greatly mistaken… and a bigger fool than you like to pretend you are."

Jaq's posture changed slightly and he peered at Revan with a surprised look in his eyes. "Yes," she laughed. "I've noticed that little trick of yours… play the fool so no one suspects what you're really thinking." Jaq opened his mouth to protest. "Don't even try, Jaq. I know you far better than you think I do. I've been watching you." _Watching me?_ Jaq became uncomfortable, yet at the same time, felt strangely thrilled at the thought. "You're a lot smarter than you let on. Oh, I'm not saying you're smart as all that, but if people really do think you're a fool, then _they_ are the fools. Malak, for instance, is dying to know what I wish to do with a weak-minded fool like yourself…"

_Stop calling me a fool!_

Revan looked at him approvingly. "Yes… You are impatient and short-tempered. That will serve you will. I will admit—this is the first time I notice your emotions rolling off you like this. This is definitely a change for the better."

_I'm almost afraid to ask…_ "How… how so, _my Lord_?"

Revan looked Jaq in the eyes, and with a malefic smile said, "Because peace is a lie; there is only passion."

_What? What is she going on about?_ Jaq shook his head. "But how does any of this have to do with why I'm here?"

"Yes, I was getting to that… Well, the reason why you're here, as I said, is because I've been watching you." Jaq felt himself blush slightly. "It truly is a shame you haven't been trained to do any more than you already have, because I feel you have a great potential within you… I think that with the proper training, you would make… a great apprentice." Revan paused in order to let the words sink into Jaq's head.

"What?" Jaq exclaimed incredulously after a few seconds had passed. "But… what about Malak?"

Revan shrugged. "Malak has served his purpose. He is of no further use to me. I know he's planning to kill me and take my place. I'm not blind. He might not act on it for some while still, but I know he will. And so he must be replaced…" She smiled wickedly. "He must be… _disposed_ of." Jaq shuddered slightly, but Revan continued. "I've not come across anyone else I would rather have in his place than you, Jaq Rand." Her face softened a little, and Jaq got a glimpse of how she may have looked before the Dark Side got a hold of her. He held his breath. Revan slowly and seductively walked over to him and stood inches away from him. She tilted her head slightly and looked up at him entreatingly, yet imperiously. "You wouldn't dare say 'no' to me, would you, Jaq?" she drawled, smiling alluringly.

Jaq swallowed and fidgeted clumsily with the left pant leg of his uniform. She was close—very, _very_ close. Far too close. He started to feel her breath on his neck. Jaq closed his eyes. "I… I wouldn't dream of it," he breathed. He slowly opened his eyes. She still stood just as near. Jaq looked at her, and unsure whether he should blame the alcohol or the sudden and distinct lack of blood in his head, he slowly ran his hand up to the back of her neck and bent his head down toward hers…

* * *

"No!" vociferated Atton. "I did _not_ make the first move!" 

Revan sneered at him. "Is that so? And just what are you basing that on? Your most excellent memory of that night's events?" She scoffed. "Only one of us remembers what happened, Jaq, and you know _damn_ well it's not you."

Atton glanced at Revan sullenly. "I don't know… the Jedi Order did do a number on your memory… Maybe you remember it wrong," he grumbled, shifting in his seat. He stretched his legs out, reflecting that sitting atop a cargo cylinder wasn't such a good idea if you intended on doing so for a full hour, just as he and Revan had been doing as they compared notes.

Perched up on a similar storage unit across from Atton, Revan smirked, incredibly amused. "I'm afraid that's not the case, Jaq. I've recovered my memory—my _real_ memory. You _definitely_ made the first move." Atton opened his mouth in righteous protest, but Revan raised a hand. "But in your defense," she said reluctantly, "I suppose I _was_ rather hoping you would initiate the—"

Atton's eyes grew wide with horror. "STOP!" he cried, throwing his hands out in front of him. "Ugh! Oh, for Force's sake, please STOP! That's just…" He shuddered and stared at Revan, almost nauseated and temporarily at a loss for words, only to resume gesticulating. "Ugh! You? And… and _me_?" He tightly shut his eyes for a second. _This is not happening… This is just a nightmare I'm having…_ He shook his head violently and looked at Revan defiantly. "And there's also no way in hell that I actually accepted to become your apprentice. I'm not buying that for a second."

A mocking smile spread on Revan's lips. "You don't? That's interesting Jaq… Considering the fact you didn't hesitate long before accepting the _second_ time I asked you."

Atton laughed. "Oh come on! You expect me to believe I actually agreed to this _twi_—" His smile faded and he frowned. _Right. I did agree to it. She's my master. She's training me. I guess that does sort of make me her… Dammit!_

"That's different!" he protested.

Revan folded her arms. "What's so different about it, Jaq?" she jeered. "The only difference I see is that this time you actually made a _conscious_ decision to become my apprentice, so it's actually worse." Revan laughed. "Do you _actually_ think that with you drunk and me coming on to you rather strongly, you would have actually found the nerve to say 'no'?"

Atton nodded unconvincingly. Revan smirked and hopped off her cargo cylinder. Atton's body tensed up and he held his breath in apprehension as Revan walked over to him, leaned in and flirtatiously brushed her hand against his cheek. He blushed and immediately backed away, flustered.

She raised an eyebrow. "I think you just proved my point." She laughed, rolled her eyes, and unhesitatingly headed back to her seat. "_Please_… You know damn well I probably could've talked out into putting on a skimpy outfit and going dancing for a Hutt if I had wanted you to. I knew you wouldn't say no if I asked you the way I did. That's why I did it. I manipulated people into doing what I wanted them to. That's how I got to where I was."

Recovering his composure, Atton interrupted her, an appalled and sickened look on his face. "Wait, wait, wait… Are you saying you _manipulated_ me into sleeping with you?"

Revan scoffed. "Hardly. That's not at all what I said." She looked smugly at him. "Do you honestly think I would have needed to manipulate you for _that_?" She smiled derisively and Atton glared at her. "No… I used the biggest one of your weaknesses to convince you to become my apprentice. Everything else was just a… bonus."

Atton raised an eyebrow. "Bonus, huh?" He smirked. "That good, was it?" he asked presumptuously. It was Revan's turn to blush furiously. She uncomfortably glanced away. Atton smiled victoriously for a second, and his smile faded. "Actually wait… scratch that," he retracted. "Don't tell me how it was. Because then I'd be forced to picture it, and I really don't want that." He shuddered. "Force, do I _ever_ not want to picture it." He rubbed his temples, shook his head and grimaced. "Frack, and here I was thinking _Malak_ was the father."

Revan laughed sardonically. "Yeah, he _wishes_! A lot of people thought he was… I didn't really do anything to quash those allegations. I preferred people thought that rather than have them know I slept with one of my Jedi assassins and got dumped. He certainly didn't mind… He had a pretty serious crush on me, for some bizarre reason, and he felt threatened by you, which is why he was _always_ there whenever you and I met… and it's also why I liked to torment him about you so much and so often."

"_Torment_ him?" Atton repeated, confused. "Why would you have…? I mean… Rev… did you… think about me… _that_ way… before…?" His voice sounded strange.

Revan wrinkled her brow, blushed deeply and glanced away. "I… well, I…" she stammered.

"Rev?" Atton insisted, leaning over and trying to catch her eye.

"All right, fine!" she exploded, suddenly turning to face him rapidly. "YES! I _lusted_ after you from the moment I first saw you! I met you that day early on in the war and I just couldn't get you out of my mind after that. There. Is said it. Happy? Is that what you wanted to hear, Jaq?" She pursed her lips, held her head up and stared contemptuously at Atton. In the latter's face was a mixture of horror and bewilderment.

"Do you… You don't… I mean, you don't still…" he stuttered.

"Of _course_ I don't!" she snapped, blushing furiously, her eyes barely wavering.

Atton seemed instantly relieved, shut his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. He then re-opened his eyes and narrowed them suspiciously. "Are you sure this whole thing isn't some big elaborate joke that you and Jena cooked up? Because if it is, it's _not_ funny!"

Revan folded her arms and pursed her lips. "Jaq, do you _honestly_ think for one second that I'd pretend _you_ to be the father of my child, even as a joke?"

Atton grimaced and heaved a regretful sigh. "No, I suppose there wouldn't be much hope of that happening," he admitted darkly. He shook his head. "But… Daynn? Dammit, Rev, he's a pain in the ass!" he groaned. "He never listens to anything anyone says, except for Jena!"

A voice came from the corridor. "Like father, like son, I suppose."

Atton and Revan quickly turned to look at the door. "Daynn's asleep," said Carth, walking in. "I was looking all over for you. Didn't know you were hiding out here with…" He glanced at Atton's direction. "…him."

Atton's eyes dropped to the floor. "Hey, Carth," he grumbled uncomfortably.

Carth's eyes traveled from Atton to Revan. "I'm sorry," he said slowly. "Was I interrupting…?"

"Nothing to interrupt!" Revan answered promptly just as Atton hopped off his cargo cylinder. "How… how long have you been standing out there?"

Carth shrugged. "Just long enough to realize that Atton here has finally been informed of his… _status_." He heartily slapped Atton on the back and smiled at him, although the proud father could easily tell that Carth's eyes weren't smiling.

"Believe me, Carth, I'm as shocked about this as you are," Atton muttered, his eyes looking away toward the wall in an effort to avoid Carth's.

_Well, _this_ is unbelievably awkward…_

"_Are_ you?" Carth asked, the pitch of his voice slightly higher than normal. "I mean, you must remember _something_…" He cocked his eyebrows skeptically.

"No!" Atton cried vehemently, his eyes darting back to Carth. "I don't remember a thing! My mind is a complete blank! I swear!"

Carth looked unconvinced. "And it never clued in after you saw Daynn… and found out how old he was…?" Atton shook his head emphatically. Carth snorted. "For crying out loud, Atton, he looks _just_ like you!" he exclaimed.

"He does?" wondered Atton. He vainly tried to recollect the child's face in his mind.

"Your eyes," Revan stated very quietly, staring at her boots. "And your smile."

Both men turned toward her, but her gaze stubbornly remained focused on her feet. Carth stared blankly at her. Atton glanced at her, then at Carth. After a few seconds of silence, he coughed uncomfortably.

"Right. Well, if we're all done here, I'd really like to get back to Jena… I left her in—"

He stopped abruptly and realized the circumstances under which he had left Jena behind, as well as how much time had elapsed since. He groaned and shook his head. _Oh man, she's _so_ cutting me off for the next fifteen years…_

He took a few steps toward the door. "Rev, we'll… um… we can talk about this later," he said awkwardly, carefully avoiding Carth's gaze. "Right now I need to mostly focus on not getting killed by an irate woman Jedi."

He hung his head miserably. "I don't suppose either of you knows the address of a good flower shop on Myrkr," he grumbled, mostly to himself, as he walked out.


	18. Sithspawn

**Chapter 18 – Sithspawn**

_Jena bit her lip uneasily and winced. "You _honestly_ don't know?" _

_"_Obviously_ not!" Atton cried. "Look, I have no idea what this is about, but all this secret stuff is starting to make me crazy. I bet it's not even as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. So could you just please tell me what it is Revan's been hiding from everyone, so I can happily go back to being semi-sane? Can you please do this for me, Jena?" _

_Jena gazed into his eyes and nervously ran her fingers on the side of his cheek. She took a deep breath. She opened her mouth, hesitated and closed it again, looking extremely uncomfortable. "I really shouldn't be the one telling you this." _

_Atton, who had tensed up and started bracing himself, dropped his shoulders. "Jena, it's not like there's a big line-up of people outside the cockpit eagerly waiting to tell me. So just do it. Please? For me?" _

_Jena looked at him skeptically. "All right. But you're not going to like it. Promise you won't get upset, no matter how… unexpected this is?" _

_Atton closed his eyes. "Sure," he said unconvincingly. _

_"Yeah, right," Jena said, giggling uneasily. She took his hand in both hers and looked at him seriously. "Atton… Daynn's your son." _

_The color completely drained from Atton's face, but his features remained unchanged. He stared at her blankly. "He's my… I'm sorry, _what_ did you just say?" he asked, his voice squeaking a little. _

_Jena looked at Atton sympathetically. "Daynn's your son," she repeated in a gentler voice. _

_Atton gazed wordlessly at her as the information processed through his brain. His face was very still, save for the occasional blink. Jena, waiting for some sign of life, shifted uncomfortably. Atton's eyes widened with shock and disbelief. "But that… that can't be!" he exclaimed. "How is this even possible? Revan said he was _her_ son!" _

_"He is," Jena said quietly. _

_Atton ran his hand through his hair in desperation and suddenly burst into near hysterical laughter. "Right, now I know you're pulling my leg. It's impossible. I certainly never… I mean, I never even saw her face before she came to get me on Nar Shaddaa, much less any other part of…" He shook his head violently. _

_Jena put her hand on Atton's shoulder. She tried to look sympathetic, despite a sudden and inappropriate urge to smirk. "Apparently you were drunk. _Very_ drunk. That's what she told me." _

_"Well see now _that_, I can believe," replied Atton desperately. He covered his eyes with his hand for a moment. His hand slid down and revealed an air of cold fury. "She knew about this… and told you… and probably _Carth_ by now… but not _me_?"_

_"She knew, yes… that is, she knew she slept with one of her Jedi assassins, one named Jaq Rand… I never told her you and Jaq were the same person. I knew she wouldn't let me go if I was going to look for _your_ child. As for telling you, I had _assumed_ she told you when… she recognized you…" Her voice trailed off. _

_"No," Atton responded, fuming. "No, she most certainly did NOT." _

_He very quickly got up and reached for his robe. "Atton, don't…" pleaded Jena, vainly reaching for him in an effort to keep him from leaving. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't even have told you…"_

_He turned brusquely and glared at Jena. "Oh, is that what you think? You wanted to keep me in the dark too? Lie to me like Revan's been doing for weeks?" _

_"Atton, that's not…" began Jena pitifully. _

_"Sure it is!" snapped Atton. "If you really wanted me to know, wouldn't you have told me when I first saw you? 'Atton, I haven't seen you in a year and a half. I missed you. By the way, this is Daynn, your son.'" He furiously dressed himself. " Or you could at least have told me when you first got to the cockpit." _

_Jena pursed her lips and lost her temper. "Oh I'm sorry, how silly of me to think you'd prefer we took our clothes off, rather than have me announce the fact that you had a child with someone else, a fact I thought you _already knew_." _

_Atton rudely brushed her off. "You know what, I'll deal with that later. Right now I have a bone to pick with the Dark Lord." He spun around quickly, and before Jena had a chance to say anything else, or even put her clothes on, he was out the door. "REVAN!" he bellowed._

_"Atton, for Force's sake…" mumbled Jena, reaching for her tunic.

* * *

_

The first thing Atton noticed as he stepped away from the cargo hold, leaving Revan and Carth to their own devices, was the fact that the medical room door was open. As he walked past, he peered in as casually as he could. It was empty. He vaguely wondered where Mical had disappeared to, but decided he had better things to worry about than the whereabouts of his would-be rival. He had stayed with Revan far longer than he had anticipated, and he desperately needed to see Jena—to know that she wasn't angry with him for lashing out at her and for disappearing for so long, and to verify that she was in fact comfortable with the idea of him suddenly sharing a child with one of her friends. _Force knows I'm sure not… It's insane. This whole situation is insane. It's like something out of some trashy romance fiction. _He shook his head. _I can't believe I talked to Revan for over an hour. I've never even been around her for that long unless some kind of sparring was involved. Always thought I'd be likely to kill her if I spent more than thirty minutes with her. Guess you learn something new everyday. For instance, today I also learned that I'm incredibly stupid when I'm drunk. _

The cockpit was the first place he thought of checking for Jena. He poked his head in and immediately saw that the only person occupying the room was Bao-Dur, who was deeply engrossed in admiring the wiring behind one of the wall panels. _Did you really think she'd just sit around waiting for you after the way you treated her? _He shook his head as he backed out of the room. _It would be a lot easier to figure out where she is if I could feel our bond. This planet is absolutely ridiculous. I can sometimes feel the Force aboard the _Hawk_, and sometimes not. Well, guess I'll go from portside to starboard. Ship's not that big. Can't be that hard to find her._ He immediately aimed for the portside room. He quickly peered around the corner and stopped. Jena sat on one of the beds with her back up against the wall. Lying down on the bed next to her and with his head on her lap was Daynn, fast asleep. Jena's eyes were closed and she was very gently running her fingers through his hair, a faint smile on her lips. Atton paused and looked at her for a few seconds. Remorse over the way he had unfairly snapped at her overcame him. He shut his eyes and felt a slight disgust with himself. _I keep doing that to her. It's a wonder she still wants me around. I'm such a jerk. She didn't deserve what I said._ He hung his head and quietly turned around.

"Atton!"

The whisper called him from within the dormitory. He stepped in the room again. Jena still sat on the bed, but was now looking up at him inquisitively. Atton hurried over to her, sat on the bed and took her free hand in his.

"Jena, I'm so sorry…" he began earnestly. She shook her head indulgently, and put her finger on his lips and silently pointed at the sleeping Daynn. She gestured for them to get up. She shifted her weight, and Daynn squirmed in his sleep. Jena raised an eyebrow, stopped, and proceeded to get up more cautiously, carefully resting Daynn's head on a pillow the instant she slid out from underneath him. She took Atton's hand in hers and they quietly slipped out of the room.

"Let's go outside," she muttered. "I'm tired of being cooped up in here." Atton acquiesced and they headed down the exit ramp. Still holding on to Atton's hand, Jena led him to the forest. "There," she said as they disappeared behind the trees. "We'll be fine here and I can finally hear myself _think_." She exhaled happily. "It's weird being back on a ship during the day. I've gotten used to this planet, and I have to say, I rather like it."

"You _like_ it?" asked Atton incredulously. "But… you can't feel the Force on most of its surface!"

"I know…" muttered Jena, glancing away. "That's why I like it." Atton frowned confusedly. "It helps me forget who I am," she added.

Atton grew worried. He reached over, gently pulled her face back toward him, gazed into her eyes, and said in earnest, "Jena, what did they _do_ to you out there?"

Jena laughed nervously and a little bitterly. "Nobody _did_ anything to me. I'm just… tired—tired of hiding and of fighting and of protecting. I just want to sleep for _days_." She sighed. "And I'm tired of those bloody Sith tracking me down wherever I go. This is why I like it here—because if I can't feel the Force, then they can't find me either. I almost wish I had known about this place last time I was running from the Sith. The vornskrs have been a bit of a pain, but they usually only come out at night, and I've killed most of the ones in the area. Daynn and I have been hiding out here for the past month."

"For a _month_?" Atton blurted. "But what were you planning on doing? Hide out here forever?"

Jena smiled wistfully and caressed his face. "Not without you, I wasn't."

Atton grinned coyly. "Shall I take it to mean that you're forgiving me for being a jerk earlier?"

Jena smiled coquettishly, grabbed a handful of Atton's robe and pulled his face down toward hers. He grinned and kissed her sweetly, tenderly, wrapping his arms around her. Jena chuckled gleefully and eagerly responded to his kiss, cradling his face between her hands. Atton nibbled gently on her bottom lip and backed away a little. "So," he said with a lascivious leer, "how dense is this forest? I mean, do you think anybody can see us from the ship?" One of his hands slipped down to her waist and gently tugged at her tunic.

Jena burst out laughing. "What, _again_? Are you always this lecherous? I don't remember you being _quite_ this bad…"

"Hey, it's been a year and a half…" Atton responded, moving in toward her lips again. "We have to make up for lost time, _master_…" Upon hearing that word, Jena pulled back from him slightly.

"You realize I probably shouldn't continue on _being_ your master. I think our other more… personal relationship might interfere with your training. Mira was telling me that Revan took you on as her padawan… Maybe you should stick with her as master."

Atton quieted her down with a fervent kiss. "That's fine…" he muttered as his lips slowly worked their way to her neck. "You do realize that right now I'd agree to anything you asked, right?"

"I had an inkling," she said, grinning, one of her hands dropping down to his belt.

"Jena?" asked a clear voice behind Atton. Jena's hand immediately moved away from Atton's belt, just as Atton let go of her and backed up. He turned and glanced darkly at Daynn, standing behind him. _Dammit, kid! You _are_ hell-bent on getting between me and Jena._

"Daynn, sweetie, you shouldn't come out here all by yourself!" exclaimed Jena, running over to the boy. "It's dangerous. Remember what I told you about being out in the woods by yourself."

Daynn sighed lightly. "But I woke up and you were gone," he cried out. "And I can't remember everything."

Atton snorted. Jena and Daynn turned toward him. "Sure you can, kid," Atton stated. "Which rule are we up to? Six?"

"Five," Daynn replied reluctantly.

"See? You do remember," encouraged Atton. "I knew it was five; I was just testing you. Rule five, don't wander off on your own. Though I don't see how that benefits _me_, really…" Jena gaped at him and stifled a laugh. Atton quickly glanced at her sideways and smirked at the boy. "Here's one that does, though… Rule six, don't interrupt me when I'm kissing Jena."

"Atton!" she protested, laughing. "How do you expect him to remember all this?"

Atton waved a dismissive hand at her. "Don't worry. He remembers. Don't you, squirt?"

Daynn glanced up to the sky and looked pensive. "Rule one, stay out of your head p… perma…"

"Permanently," Atton said helpfully.

"Rule two," Daynn continued, "If you ever use a word I don't understand, don't ask… Rule three… um…" His little face scrunched up thoughtfully for an instant. "No squishing big bugs if you're around… Rule four… don't listen in to conversations you're having, especially with Jena. Five, don't wander off on my own, and six, don't interrupt when you and Jena are kissing."

Jena stared in awe. "I can't believe you managed to get him to remember this much!"

Atton shrugged. "It was nothing… I just did the same thing my dad used to do with me, before he ran out on us. I always remembered the rules… I just ignored them. It's the numbers. Rands are good with numbers." He absent-mindedly reached into his pocket and pulled out his pazaak deck.

Daynn grimaced. "But kissing is gross."

Atton raised a surprised eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. "That must be from Revan's side," he said suspiciously. He started shuffling through his cards. Jena glanced at him in disbelief.

"You're kidding, right? Atton, we're in a _forest_ and you want to play pazaak? You don't need to prove to me you're good with numbers. I know." She chortled.

Atton kept flipping through his cards. "Hold on… I'm just looking for… Ah! Here it is." He held up his plus one, minus one card. "I believe this is yours," he said, grinning and ceremoniously handing the card to Jena.

"It is?" she wondered as she picked up the card and eyed it carefully.

Atton smiled. "Well, I'm not one to give a lady an incomplete present… I found it under the bed a few months ago."

"The bed?" Jena looked perplexed. "Oh! The bed!" She turned a slight tinge of pink as she glanced at Daynn, who was looking up at her quizzically. Without a word, she pulled out her pazaak deck and put the card on top of the others. "Thanks…" she said, before frowning slightly, as she had a closer look at the card. "This one's a lot more worn out than the others," she commented.

Atton glanced away. "Yes, well…" He looked uncomfortable. "I _may_ have carried that card around with me since I found it, and I _may_ have fiddled with it a lot because it reminded me of you…" He stared fixedly at his boots.

Without a word, Jena walked over to him, put her arms around him and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear, "You are the sweetest man in the galaxy, Atton Rand; you know that?"

Atton smiled awkwardly and sought her lips. He bent down and kissed her softly. Jena returned his affections, but after a few moments opened her eyes and backed away. "Daynn?" she called out, looking around them for the child who had suddenly vanished. _Dammit! Stupid Sithspawn!_

Atton looked over to the field. "Hey, there he is!" he said, pointing at a figure standing in the middle of the clearing. Jena gasped.

"He can't be out there on his own!" she cried. "It's almost dark!"

"Hold on," Atton said with a smirk. He stretched his hand out and frowned when he noticed Daynn continue walking. "What the…? The stasis field isn't working." He frowned and looked blackly at the trees around him. "Damn stupid lizards!" he growled, eyeing an ysalamir attached to a tree nearby. "Great. Now we're going to have to actually catch up to him." _Having a kid isn't as bad as I thought it would be… It's far worse._ Jena darted onto the field, while Atton glared at the ysalamir, viciously flicked it on the head, and ran out after her thinking things unlawful to be uttered about Daynn, Revan, and alcohol, in that order.

When he caught up with Jena, she was already crouched down in front of Daynn, evidently in the process of giving him a stern lecture.

"But Atton said not to interrupt when you're kissing," the boy whined.

"Atton is—" Jena began hotly. She stopped and took a deep breath. "That's not a reason to run off like that," she said, correcting herself. She lifted her head, and Atton was looking down at her with a mocking expression.

"No, please," he said with a smirk. "Don't stop on my account. I for one would really like to know what Atton is." She swung at him, unable to repress a smile.

"Shut up!" she said, laughing.

"Yes, master," he replied meekly.

"And _stop_ calling me that!"

"Yes, master."

Still laughing, Jena stood up, firmly holding on to Daynn's hand. She turned to the child. "Daynn, I want you to stay right here. Don't move. I just want to talk to Atton for a minute." Daynn nodded energetically, and Jena let go of his hand. She grabbed hold of Atton's arm and took a few steps with him. "Atton," she said in a low voice, "I think you should tell him."

"Tell him… what?" Atton asked, genuinely perplexed.

"That you're his father!" Jena said in an exasperated whisper.

"Oh. That," he replied blankly. "You mean he doesn't know? …Well, at least I wasn't the only one being kept in the dark, for once. All right, I guess we can do that…"

"I mean I think you should tell him… _alone_." She looked at Atton and didn't notice a change of expression in his face. "_Without_ me," she insisted.

Atton frowned. "What? Why? I've spent enough time alone with this kid before."

"Atton, he's your _son_!"

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Fine, fine, I get it, I get it… I know this is just your way of punishing me for something I did. It has to be." He shook his head. "Fine. I'll go spend time alone with the Sithspawn and explain to him how alcohol is responsible for his existence."

"Atton!" Jena protested.

"I'm _kidding_! Man, it's like you've forgotten my sense of humor." Atton shook his head, kissed Jena's forehead and turned toward Daynn. "Come on, squirt. Why don't you and me take a walk? There's some stuff we need to talk about."

"Just make it quick… don't go far," muttered Jena, peering ominously at the sky. "And stay away from the forest."

Atton looked confused. "What, now I have to stay _away_ from it? Earlier you told me…"

"Earlier it wasn't getting dark," she said quietly. "The vornskrs don't generally hunt in the day. I wanted you to keep an eye out for them, but I didn't think you'd actually encounter any. You should be okay… Like I said, I killed most of the ones in the area. But we can talk about this later. Just hurry back in."

"Fine." Atton turned to the boy. "Let's go, kid."

Daynn glanced up at him suspiciously. "Will there be more rules?" he asked cautiously.

Atton shrugged. "You don't do anything wrong, you won't get new rules. It's pretty easy, if you think about it."

Daynn pleadingly looked over at Jena, who blew him a kiss and wordlessly encouraged him to follow Atton. Daynn sighed and walked off after the man in the frayed Jedi robe.

"So…" began Atton. "Um… a lot of changes in your life, huh?" _What the hell is she thinking? I don't know how to talk to kids! I didn't even when I _was_ one!_ Daynn glanced up at him, greatly disinterested. _There. See? I'm already boring him._ Atton desperately peered over his shoulder, only to see Jena quickly disappear aboard the ship._ Dammit. I'm really going to have to do this on my own._ He put his hand on the back of Daynn's head and led him away from the ship. "Listen, kid," he started awkwardly. "There's something you should probably know. It's about me and… and you and…" Atton looked immensely uncomfortable, and nervously scratched the back of his head. _How the hell am I supposed to tell him this when I haven't even grasped the concept myself?_ "Um… what I mean to say is…" he stammered.

Daynn cocked his head curiously. "Are you trying to tell me you're my dad? Cause I already know _that_!"

A wave of relief momentarily swept over Atton. He breathed more easily, but his forehead creased a little. _Wait a minute…_ "You're in my head again!" he spat. "Dammit, Daynn!"

"I wasn't!" the child protested. Atton looked skeptical. "I saw it in _her_ head," Daynn added quietly.

Atton still looked unimpressed. "Whose, Jena? Cause that's not any better. You shouldn't—"

"No," Daynn interrupted, speaking even more quietly. "_Hers_." His hazel eyes peered significantly into Atton's.

"You mean Revan's?" Atton enquired. Daynn nodded, and Atton rolled his eyes. "Why didn't you just say 'mom's' or something, so I'd know who you're talking about?"

The boy mumbled something inaudible.

Atton frowned. "What was that?"

"BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD!" Daynn shouted violently. Atton took a step back from sheer surprise. Daynn's anger faded immediately and he went back to looking demure.

Atton hesitated. "Why… is it weird? I mean, she _is_ your mo—" Atton realized what he was saying. "Oh. Right. You've never had a mother before. Is that why it's weird?"

Daynn shrugged. "Maybe." He glanced away.

Atton got the impression that Daynn wasn't telling him everything, but he wisely decided not to push the topic. He changed his intonation, and sounded a lot more upbeat. "Well, that's good, I guess… because I don't think I'm ready to be called… uh…" He coughed. "'Dad'." He swallowed. "I'm already traumatized enough when I talk to you, kid."

"Stop calling me 'kid'," Daynn muttered sullenly.

Atton scoffed. "Well, what the hell else am I going to call you? Because I'm _not_ calling you son or sonny-boy or anything like that."

"My name's _Daynn_."

"Yeah, but I call everybody 'kid'. Well, everybody but Jena and Rev. Your mother in particular has her own personal collection of nicknames that she has earned throughout the years." _Ranging from 'Dark Lord' to 'schutta'._

Daynn's expression became mischievous. "If you call me 'kid', I'll call you 'Dad'."

Atton cringed. _That kid's way too smart for his age._ "You've got a cruel streak," said Atton, sneering. "You must get that from your mother." _And your father._

Daynn's smile faded. "That's not nice," he said ambiguously.

"What's not nice? The fact that I'm implying that your mother has a cruel streak, or the fact that I'm saying you're like her?"

Daynn peered up at Atton seriously. "She killed a lot of people." Atton suddenly felt a little nervous. _Of course he knows this… he's been in her head. There's no point in trying to deny it._ "She killed a lot more people than _you_ did," the boy muttered.

Atton slowed his pace down to a crawl. He cast a quizzical glance at Daynn; the latter seemed a little cold, detached. "I know," Atton said quietly. "She's done a lot of bad things. To me, even. But she's different, now." He begrudgingly added, "You can trust her." _On second thought, it's probably a good thing that I'm here alone with him… Wouldn't want anybody hear me saying nice things about the Dark Lord. I have a reputation to withhold. _

"Why do you say that?" Daynn asked curiously. "You don't like her. You only say bad things about her."

Atton shut his eyes and laughed mirthlessly. "Of course I hate her. How could I not?" he muttered bitterly. He sneered and glanced away.

_"But you like her, too,"_ said a voice in his head.

"DAYNN!" Atton barked. "Rule. Number. One. I know you remember it, so don't play dumb."

Daynn shrugged. "Yeah, I remember it… I just wanted to know if you were lying."

Atton threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Dammit, stop being like me! It's irritating!" He folded his arms and glowered while Daynn looked up at him expectantly, waiting for a confirmation of his allegation, but Atton remained silent. Daynn's eyes narrowed.

"Do you like her more than Jena?" he asked accusingly.

"Why don't you tell me, if you're so smart?" snapped Atton.

Daynn looked at him for a moment. "No, I don't think you do."

"Good looks _and_ a brain," said Atton sarcastically. "Now stop pestering me with questions." He looked down. A very large, very hairy caterpillar was crawling at his feet. He wrinkled his nose. _How many of those bloody things are there on this planet? I mean, where are we, Dxun?_ "There. You like bugs. Play with that stupid thing and leave me alone," he said unpleasantly. "But so help me, if you squish it…"

"Rule number three," chanted Daynn dutifully as he crouched down before the caterpillar. _Sure… _now_ he remembers the damn rules. He really _is_ just like I was. No wonder Dad couldn't wait to get away from me._ The boy happily started prodding at the caterpillar. Atton shot him an aggravated look, folded his arms, and cleared his throat. Daynn looked up, sighed heavily and stopped poking. Atton smiled importantly. "That's better."

Daynn pursed his lips and his eyes darted back down to the caterpillar, which suddenly and unexpectedly burst open with a pop. Atton stared as one stunned while Daynn's eyes widened and he put his hand to his mouth. "I didn't mean to!" he cried. "It was an accident! I didn't mean to squish him!"

Atton's jaw dropped. "What do you mean, you didn't…? You… _you_ killed that bug without touching it? By _accident_?" His eyes grew slightly fearful. "Daynn, what did you _do_?"

Tears started streaming down the child's face. "I'm sorry!" He sniffled. "Please don't tell Jena! She told me not to do that anymore."

"Jena knows you can blow bugs up with your mind?" Atton asked incredulously, taking an involuntary step back. He was horrified. _No wonder she was telling me to stay close to the forest earlier. What the hell have Revan and I _done

"I wasn't t-trying to blow h-him up. You t-told me n-not to s-squish bugs," protested Daynn, hiccoughing badly.

Atton stared at Daynn through wide eyes. "Well, I guess it's a damn good thing I did, otherwise I don't even want to think about what you'd have done to this caterpillar!"

The child started wailing. Not knowing what to do, Atton ran over to him and knelt down next to him. "Hey, hey… It's okay…" he said, trying to sound as soothing as possible. "We'll figure this out. We'll fix this. We'll"—he glanced down at the caterpillar guts—"we'll… Well, I guess we can't exactly patch _him_ up…" He laughed sardonically and Daynn's lip quivered. "Don't!" added Atton in a panic. "Don't cry. I don't know what to do with people who cry. Just ask your mother!" He nervously ran his hand through his hair. _I really need Jena here. Right now._

An odd sound from behind him caused him to turn around—a strange, cackle-purr like sound. In one swift move, he got up, drew his lightsaber, and stood protectively between Daynn and the four snarling creatures before him. _Vornskrs_, he thought, his heart beating savagely in his chest. Without hesitating, he immediately struck one down, but another lunged at him, whipping its tail, which he chopped off with a swift wrist movement before it touched him. The animal yelped and took a few steps back, growling at him, while the other two looked ready to attack. He Force pushed one of them and cleaved through the other as it charged with its mouth open. He glanced at one vornskr, then at the other, trying to determine which one would attack him next; they both did at once. The tailless one snapped at him and he managed to kick it in the face as he swung his lightsaber at the other one to try and prevent it from reaching Daynn.

"Go hide, Daynn!" he ordered. "Get away from here!" The vornskr jumped and collided with him, knocking his lightsaber hilt against his mouth. He pushed the creature back and managed to fight it off with great difficulty.

A frightened, tearful voice came from behind him. "But—"

"JUST GO!" yelled Atton, spitting blood from his cut lip. He dove forward and sank his lightsaber into the animal's side. It yelped and fell over, its back legs twitching. Atton quickly glanced over his shoulder to check on Daynn. The boy was running away as quickly as his little legs could carry him. "NO!" bellowed Atton when he realized where Daynn was headed. "Not in the for—AAAAAAUGH!" He felt a sharp pain in his left calf. He turned and faced the tailless vornskr, which was holding on to his leg. "YOU SCHUTTA!" he cried as he plunged his lightsaber into the creature's back. The vornskr cried in agony and let go of Atton's calf as it fell over. Atton could see it was still trying to reach for him, and he struck it down one last time.

Atton wavered and stumbled away from the dead creatures. Vaguely noting that they were indeed all dead, he turned toward the forest and called out loudly.

"DAYNN!"

He cringed as the pain from his leg shot up. He tripped as he took another step and realized that everything around him had become dark—much too dark. He attempted another step and everything went completely black as he collapsed to the ground.


	19. Late Night Revelations

**Chapter 19 – Late Night Revelations**

_She's going to kill me. Rev is going to kill me, and it's going to HURT._

Immediately after Atton regained consciousness, he came to the realization that Daynn was missing. It was dark, he was alone in the middle of the clearing, and he had called out for him a few times and got no response. Groaning, he got up and staggered over the pile of vornskr corpses before him. He glanced down: his leg was bleeding profusely through the fabric around it. _Well, that would explain the excruciating pain…_ He reached into his pocket and pulled out his comlink, thankful he had thought to retrieve it when he came back aboard the ship. _Jena doesn't have a comlink; guess it'll have to be…_"Rev?" he said, speaking into the device, trying to sound casual. "You _might_ want to come out here…"

Revan's voice immediately replied. Her tone indicated that his attempt to sound laid-back had failed miserably. "Why? What happened? Where are you, Jaq?"

A wave of pain overcame Atton, and he grimaced terribly. "Away from the front of the ship… middle of the clearing…" He cringed and swore under his breath. "And bring me some medpacks and maybe some antidote. Force knows what kind of bacteria those things carry in their mouths…"

"I'll be right there!" Revan announced hastily.

Atton put his comlink away and smacked himself on the forehead. _Should've asked her to bring Jena… She'd have stopped Revan from killing me for having lost her precious son._ He reached for his communication device again, but stopped himself when his eyes rested on the dark forest. _Well, she'd prevent Revan from killing me all right, but it would be just so _she'd_ get a chance to do it herself. Yeah, on second thought, I'd rather only have to deal with the wrath of _one_ female Jedi._

He limped over to an area free of dead vornskrs and carefully sat down on the ground, painstakingly stretching his injured leg out in front of him. He gently reached over and lifted his pant leg to assess the damage, flinching at intervals as he did so. Upon eyeing the large chunk of bloody flesh dangling from his calf, he turned away, his face contorted with pain. He proceeded to attempt to heal himself with the Force, but the combat had drained him too much, and his efforts hardly helped at all. He dropped his shoulders and hung his head as he tried desperately to focus on anything other than the agony he was experiencing.

"Jaq!" a worried voice cried out behind him. _I guess Jena told her the brat was with me. Watch her abandon me here so she can start tramping through the bush in search of that stupid, annoying—_

"What happened?" Revan demanded desperately as she ran up to him and noticed the large pile of dead creatures as well as Atton's injury. Without waiting for an answer, she bent down in front of him, set down her lantern on the ground, pulled out a medical kit she had evidently plundered from the medical room while Mical wasn't looking, lifted his leg up onto her lap and proceeded to dress his wound carefully. Despite all his wincing, Atton couldn't help but notice how gentle she was being. He gritted his teeth and attempted to explain.

"Well, Daynn and I were out here talking, and…" Revan momentarily dropped Atton's leg in surprise. He yelled out in protest, swearing profusely. Thoroughly apologetic, Revan picked his leg back up and resumed bandaging and healing it. "As I was saying," Atton said furiously through his teeth, glaring at Revan, "Daynn and I were out here talking and he blew up this bug and the next thing I knew…"

"What do you mean, 'blew up'?" enquired Revan, this time firmly holding on to Atton's leg and focusing on stopping the bleeding.

"I mean he blew it up! I don't know _how_ he did it, but he did! He was just sitting there, staring at it and it burst open!" He peered over his left shoulder and pointed at something right next to him in the grass. "See? There it is." Revan looked at the very large, very dead caterpillar and her forehead creased slightly. "Anyway, next thing I knew all these… creatures…" He waved generally at the pile of corpses. "They came out of nowhere and attacked us. I held them off long enough to tell Daynn to run away… I thought he'd go back to the ship, but he took off to the forest." He pointed to the dark wooded area Daynn had disappeared to. "And then I killed the schuttas, though not before one of them decided to chomp down on my leg." Revan mentally counted how many vornskr bodies lay on the ground and whistled admiringly when she saw there were four.

"All right, so where's Daynn now?" she asked, her concern growing since Atton mentioned the forest.

"That's the thing," muttered Atton. "I don't know. I called for him after I killed the last one of those stupid, vicious things, and he didn't answer." He gestured at his leg. "I couldn't very well run off after him… And then I… well… passed out. He's probably just wandered a bit too far to be able to hear me. I'm sure he's fine." He sounded as though he tried to convince himself as well as Revan.

The color drained from Revan's face, but she quickly finished off bandaging Atton's leg, and gave him a shot of antidote. She pulled his pant leg back down and gently set his injured limb back on the ground. "We have to go find him," she said hurriedly, a look of worry in her eyes.

"I know," said Atton, shamefacedly glancing away. "Look, I'm sorry…"

Revan stopped him with a slight wave. "It's okay. It's not your fault," she muttered dismissively, getting up.

Atton frowned as he slowly made an effort to stand up as well. _She's way too nice. I was expecting her to bite my head off. She's up to something._

"Can you walk?" Revan asked hurriedly as she walked off toward the area of the forest Atton had designated.

Atton took a few steps. The pain had lessened significantly. "Yeah, I should be okay," he replied, limping after her, and wiping his bloody hands on his robes, unsure as to whether the blood was his or the vornskrs'. He followed Revan, still glancing suspiciously at her. _Why hasn't she killed me yet? I lost her _child_, and there are vornskrs around! Is she feeling guilty for earlier? There's definitely something up in that devious mind of hers._ He narrowed his eyes and quietly walked into the forest. Revan called out to Daynn a few times, and each time her voice was greeted by silence.

"Rev? Look, I realize he's your kid and all… and I guess… mine too…" He shut his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "But I really don't think it's a good idea to wander off into the forest like that… If we encounter more of those vornskrs, we won't have much of a shot against them, because we won't be able to use the Force, and with me being injured…"

"Are we running any more of a risk than an unarmed eight-year-old would, Jaq?" snapped Revan. _Ah-hah! I knew the hateful woman I know was hiding in there somewhere._

"I guess not… but how are we going to find him in there?" He peered apprehensively into the darkness. It may have been dark where they were but it was completely pitch black in the forest.

"Jaq," Revan said impatiently, "you don't have to come with me. Really." She grimaced. "To be quite honest, if I have to choose between having to put up with the dubious pleasure of your company as you whine, or going out there alone, I'll take my chances searching for Daynn on my own. But I'm _not_ going to wait till morning to go find _my son_."

"_Your_ son?" Atton fulminated. "I'll have you know he's my son too, and if you're going, I'm going _with_ you." He pursed his lips, limped decidedly ahead of her and entered the forest.

Revan caught up to him, smirking, with a distinct twinkle in her eye. "Afraid of what Jena would say or do if she saw you return to the ship without Daynn?"

"Deathly," Atton retorted without missing a beat.

Laughter escaped Revan's lips. "I have to say it again, Jaq… I've never seen a guy so damn whipped."

Atton shrugged. "Well, what can I say? There's just something about a woman who can kick your ass…"

Revan smiled impishly. "I could kick your ass, Jaq… and yet, somehow—"

Atton waved his hand impatiently and rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. As unappealing as the idea may be to me right now, I think it's pretty obvious that I used to think you pretty damn hot, otherwise we wouldn't be here right now." He stopped and frowned slightly. "Did I just _say_ that? What the hell is wrong with my inner monologue today? First I propose to Jena…"

Revan gasped and coughed loudly. "You proposed to Jena? _You_?"

Atton closed his eyes and shook his head. "See, this is _exactly_ what I'm talking about! I didn't want to tell you that either."

"You're _engaged_?" Revan asked incredulously.

"Did I say that?" cried Atton in a slight panic. "No! I'm not engaged! Dammit, Rev! What, the vornskrs didn't do a good enough job, so you're trying to finish me off with a heart attack?"

"But you just said…" she protested.

"I said I proposed to her. I didn't let her give me an answer, because I was in too much of a panic."

"Classy."

"Yeah, well…" he muttered unpleasantly, looking away. Revan called for Daynn a few times and they both stood silently and listened. All was quiet. "Well, the good news is I'm not hearing any vornskrs either," Atton commented. He turned to look at Revan. "Look, I'm not exactly _proud_ of the way I handled the situation with Jena, but I couldn't… I mean… I think Mira might be right about me. I mean, if I can't commit to _Jena_, who could I possibly…?" He shook his head. "And the thing is, I _want_ to. I do. It's just that part of my brain…" He frowned. "Oh, why am I telling _you_ all this? How could you possibly understand?"

"I might understand more than you know, Jaq," Revan said quietly.

Atton scoffed. "Right. So says Carth Onasi's fiancée. Look… Rev… stop kidding yourself. You and me, we have nothing in common, except for our stupid past."

"Just because I said yes doesn't mean I know what I'm doing," Revan muttered through her teeth.

Atton stopped walking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa… are you saying you're not sure if you want to marry Carth? But he's crazy about you—for some reason I'm still trying to figure out. Seriously, Rev, you're _not_ going to find anybody else. Especially not anybody _better_."

"Oh, _that_ much I know," retorted Revan acerbically.

"Then what's the problem? Why wouldn't you want to marry Carth? _Why_ are we even having this conversation when we should probably be trying to be stealthy despite the fact that my injured leg makes me about as subtle as a hoard of banthas."

Revan shut her mouth with a snap. "Fine. Let's just walk around in silence, then, while we look for our son, whom _you_ lost," she muttered bitterly.

"What the hell is with you and your mood swings?" cried Atton, ignoring his own advice to try and be stealthy. "This is ronto skrag… A minute ago you were doting over me as though I was about to die, now you're accusing me of losing your son… Oh, I'm sorry…" He pulled a sarcastic face and made quotations in the air with his fingers. "_Our_ son… When you know damn well there wasn't a damn thing I could do to keep him from disappearing, unless of course you wanted us _both_ to get mauled. What is your _problem_ with me, Rev? It can't be that you're still upset that I slept with you and walked out on you, because we both know I don't even remember any of it."

"I don't have a problem with you, Jaq…" she said through tight lips.

"Yes, you do. You have a problem with me, and I don't know what it is. And if you won't tell me, I'll just have to figure it out on my own."

"Fine," snapped Revan. "You _do_ that. Personally, I'm going to go look for my son, before he gets eaten by those damn animals. _E chu ta_!"

Without waiting for any reply from Atton, Revan stormed off and quickly disappeared behind the trees, leaving him alone in the increasing darkness. Exasperated, Atton cursed loudly and tried to catch up to her as best he could.

"Revan!" he shouted. "Will you wait up? I'm coming with you. Force, you are the most irritating person I've ever met! Since you're so hell-bent on getting mauled, you're going to need someone to drag your bloody corpse back to Carth. Though at this rate, I'll be doing that whether we run into vornskrs or not, because I'm about to kill you myself."

The light of the lantern, which had been steadily disappearing into the forest, came to a dead stop. Atton limped along toward the light. When he rejoined Revan, she began walking again without a word or even a glance.

They hiked along for quite some time, their silence only occasionally interrupted by Revan's voice calling out for Daynn. After about forty-five minutes of trampling through the forest, Atton's leg had started hurting again, but he clenched his teeth and said nothing, determined not to give Revan any reason to accuse him of complaining.

Revan suddenly stopped, held up her lantern, and opened her mouth to call for Daynn one more time, but Atton, looking around, reached over and grabbed her arm before she had the chance to say anything.

"What the hell is _that_?" he asked, pointing at something to their left.

"What?" she asked confusedly.

"That!" insisted Atton, still pointing. "It almost looks like…"

"It's a ship!" Revan gasped. "Out here?" she asked incredulously. "It doesn't look like it's been sitting here for years rusting away, either."

"Jena," mumbled Atton.

"What do you mean, Jena? Honestly, Jaq, we've _found_ Jena. You can give your one track mind a rest."

Atton shook his head impatiently and gestured at the ship. "No, I mean, that's probably Jena's ship. What else would it be? It's not like we've run into any other people this could belong to."

Revan glanced ponderingly at the small ship. "You're probably right…" She frowned slightly. "The door's open. That's odd. Why would she have left the door—"

Revan and Atton looked at each other for an instant. Revan immediately walked into the abandoned ship. "Daynn?" she called out.

"Daynn!" shouted Atton. "I'm getting tired of this wild bantha chase! Now if you're in here, you'd better let us know, otherwise I'll be forced to create a rule number…" He paused and started counting on his fingers. "Seven!"

Revan turned angrily at Atton and was getting ready to berate him when a small, pitiful voice coming from the other room called out, "I'm here."

Abandoning Atton, Revan quickly turned and raced to the next room. "Daynn!" she shrieked. "Are you all right?"

Atton rolled his eyes. "Of _course_ he's all right! Don't you think he'd have been screaming like a mynock if he wasn't?" he said sarcastically, secretly relieved that he wouldn't have to explain to Jena why Daynn got injured the first time she willingly left them alone together. He followed Revan into the next room and was greeted by the sight of Revan with her arms tightly wrapped around Daynn. The boy looked up at Atton as the latter walked in the room.

"Where's Jena?" the child asked.

Atton could have sworn he saw Revan wince when she heard those words. She however loosened her hold and gently told him, "Jena's not here. She stayed behind at the ship. Why did you run away so far?"

"Jena told me to go back to the ship when I was in trouble," he replied quietly.

"To the ship?" cried Atton. "Couldn't you go back to the _Ebon Hawk_, like I was expecting you to do?"

Daynn's lip quivered slightly. "I didn't know… I thought…"

Revan shot Atton a dark look and hugged the boy. "Ignore him, Daynny. I'm not mad at you."

_Daynny? Did she just call my son 'Daynny'? What the hell is wrong with that woman?_

Daynn turned to Atton and looked at him questioningly. Atton rolled his eyes. "I'm not mad either. Just _vaguely annoyed _that I had part of my leg ripped off, then had to chase you all over the forest, not knowing how many more of those schuttas were hiding out here." He smiled acerbically.

"Jaq!" snapped Revan, glaring at him, pointing significantly at Daynn.

No remotely perturbed, Atton retorted, "Well, you'd be swearing too if you'd had some farkling scum-sucking creature gnawing at your leg." Turning his head toward the door, he listened closely. He heard a yelp and a strange cackle-purr sound far off in the distance. "Great. There are more coming." He briskly walked over to Daynn, grabbed him by the arm and got him up on his feet. "Come on. I don't want to wait till they get here. I'm not in any shape to fight those things again, especially without the Force. Let's go." He took a step toward the door but felt a tug on his sleeve.

"Whoa! Just you hold on a second, there, flyboy," Revan interjected, pulling him back. "The loud ones may be far away, but there might be some quieter ones nearby. We're not going anywhere until it's light out. We're closing the door to this ship and we're going to hide here until those damn things go to sleep."

"You want to spend the night here?" asked Atton incredulously. "Are you completely insane? This is a really small ship. How do you know they won't be able to force their way in somehow? Those sch—" Atton caught Revan's eye and quickly checked himself. "Those… um… _things_ are really strong, and they can still spot Force sensitives here even if we can't use the Force ourselves. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm thinking that the former Lord of the Sith, her trusty _apprentice_ and their frighteningly powerful offspring will likely attract them by the dozens, now that they've been alerted by our presence."

Revan shrugged. "You can do what you want, Jaq. I'm staying here. There's no way I'm going to risk taking Daynn back out there at this point. You can take your chances with the forest if you want… though I don't know how much of a shot you'll have against the damn things, with your injured leg and the fact that you can't use the Force."

Atton stared at Revan and blinked a few times. "DAMMIT!" he shouted, throwing his hands up and stalking off toward the door. He closed it and locked it, grumbling various curse words between his teeth. "I hope you appreciate this, Daynn. It's all _your_ fault," he said bitingly.

"Shut up, Jaq," snarled Revan.

Revan pulled Daynn back toward her and sat him down on her lap. The child didn't seem overly thrilled to be in that position, but did appear to vastly prefer her company to that of the vociferous Atton.

"Well, _now_ what?" spat Atton, returning to the room Revan and Daynn were in. "You don't think that say, oh, I don't know… Jena and Carth might notice that we're gone? Carth in particular is already getting paranoid about me…"

Revan blushed. "Why… why would he be paranoid about you?" she asked hesitantly.

"Gee, I can't imagine!" he said sarcastically, pointing at Daynn. "That being said, I don't know _why_ this would make him paranoid about me, seeing as you and I have always openly hated each other. Don't ask me to understand the workings of an Onasi brain. But I can tell you that he _is_ paranoid. Anyway, don't you think that he and Jena might feel compelled to go out and look for us when they notice we've disappeared?"

Revan looked seriously at Atton. "You're right," she said earnestly. "I don't want them getting injured on account of this…" She reached into her pocket and pulled out her comlink.

"Will those work from all the way back here?" wondered Atton.

Revan shrugged. "Don't see why not. At any rate, it's worth a shot." She turned the unit on. "Carth?" She paused. "Carth, are you there?" There was a long silence.

Revan and Atton looked at each other. "See?" said Atton. "He's already annoyed. He probably saw you run out after me and…"

_"Query: Is this you, Master?"_ a voice suddenly called out from the comlink.

"HK! Yes! Listen, I just wanted to let Carth and Jena know that Daynn, Jaq and I are stuck in Jena's old ship for the night. Jaq was attacked by vornskrs and Daynn ran out this way and we just found him. I thought it might be best to stay where we are."

_"Statement: Indeed it would be, Master. I have heard of the damage some of the creatures roaming around these forests at night can do to meatbags. Suggestion: It would be advisable to lock the door behind you. Addendum: Should you feel too cramped in that small ship, might I suggest you jettison the meatbag Rand?"_

Atton looked up to the ceiling and sighed heavily, while Revan stifled a laugh.

"No, we're all quite comfortable here, thanks." She paused. "HK?"

_"Query: Yes, Master?"_

She hesitated. "How come Carth didn't pick up his comlink?"

_"Statement: The meatbag Onasi set his comlink down in the cockpit and left it there, Master. Elaboration: I merely picked it up when I heard you calling, Master."_

Revan and Atton exchanged knowing looks. "Do you know why he left it there?" Revan insisted.

_"Statement: No, Master. Clarification: The meatbag however seemed most displeased when he did so. Extrapolation: Judging from the words he muttered to himself, I believe the meatbag Rand may be to blame for his reaction."_

Revan frowned. "Words? What words?"

_"Statement: I believe his exact words were…"_ HK's voice was replaced by a metallic version of Carth's. _"He's already got Jena… What the hell else does he need?" _

"Oh." Revan's voice was very small.

Atton mouthed the word "See?"

_"Statement: I will however let him and Master Jena know of the circumstances."_

Revan winced "Great!" she said unconvincingly. "Sounds good. We'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. Please be sure to tell him that."

_"Statement: As you wish, Master."_

"Revan out."

Revan turned off her communication device and put it away. She glanced at Atton, then at Daynn, who was half asleep, and got up silently.

"I want Jena," muttered Daynn in a sleepy haze.

"Of course you do," muttered Revan a little nastily as she walked into the next room. "You sound more like your father every minute."

Atton frowned, but decided to turn his attention to Daynn, who was sulking. He threw his cloak over the boy and after half an hour, managed to get him to sleep. Quite relieved, he got up quietly and headed over to the other room. He peered around the corner and saw Revan sitting on the floor cross-legged, seemingly meditating. Atton was about to turn around when he noticed something glistening down her cheek: a tear. _That's not part of the regular meditation routine… Dammit, what do I do now? This ship only has two rooms, and in one is the sleeping Sithspawn, and in the other is the Dark Lord, who's crying. Why would she do this to me? She knows I don't know what to do around crying women._ He sighed lightly, felt around his pockets and pulled out his pazaak deck. _Best thing to do: pretend I don't notice._

He walked into the room and settled down on the floor next to her, approximately three feet away. He dealt his cards and kept his eyes firmly glued to his side deck. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Revan furtively wiping her eyes, evidently trying to conceal her tears from him. He felt he had made the right decision. _Yup, playing dumb always did work for me._

As he set a card down on the floor, he felt as though he was being observed. He raised his head and saw Revan staring at him, her eyes curiously red. Atton felt a strange pang when he noticed her eyes. _Am I feeling… bad for her? That's certainly new…_

He cleared his throat. "Hey, um…" he said gauchely. "Did you want to…" _Don't say 'talk'. Do NOT say 'talk'._ "…Play?" He waved a card in front of his face, and flashed her his most charming grin. _Good. For once, I didn't screw up. Pazaak—good; talking—bad._

"Sure," she replied quietly, unenthusiastically. Atton gathered up his cards and shuffled them. As Revan didn't have her pazaak deck with her, Atton split his deck in half and handed her the cards he held in his left hand. She half-heartedly accepted the stack of cards and glanced distractedly at them.

"Jaq…" said Revan, vaguely peering down at Atton's hands as he hastily started dealing. "Could we talk?"

"DAMMIT!" Atton cried out, throwing his cards down in frustration. _I can't win. I just can't win._

Revan backed away in surprise. "We… we really don't _have_ to…" she said coldly.

Atton exhaled deeply. "No… No, it's _okay_," he said with the air of someone who thought it was anything but okay.

Revan's eyes dropped down to the floor and she laid her cards down in front of her. "Seriously… if you don't want to talk…" She sounded a little hurt.

Atton reached over and pulled her cards away from her. "No, it's okay," he said grumpily. "You know me. I'm just being an ass. What did you want to talk about?"

She blushed lightly. "Well, it's about…"

"It's about Carth, isn't it?" he interrupted. "You're worried about what Carth is thinking about me and you? Look, I can just talk to him…"

"It's not that… I mean, I appreciate the offer and all, but that's something I'm going to have to deal with on my own. Carth… well, you know how he is with trust. He trusts me. That is, he _trusted_ me. I'm not so sure he still does. And that's entirely my fault. But that's not what this is about."

"Oh?"

"It's about Daynn."

"Oh?"

"I just don't know what to do… I _try_, but he doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me."

"Oh."

"He behaves as though Jena's his mother."

"Oh."

"Don't you have _anything_ else to say?" Revan exclaimed irritably.

"Well, what else am I going to say?" Atton replied, annoyed. "The kid just spent a couple months with her. Of _course_, he's going to be attached to her. These things take time. You're expecting him to just start loving you from the get-go, but he doesn't _know_ you. You have to give him a chance to get to know you."

Revan stared blankly at Atton. "You know, I think that's actually the first time you say something that makes sense."

Atton shrugged. "Well, it was bound to happen eventually."

She ignored his comment and stared down at the single pazaak card Atton hadn't taken away from her. She flipped it over absent-mindedly. "Thing is, I've tried… he just keeps shrinking away from me."

"That's because he's afraid of you," Atton replied. Revan's eyes opened wide and she looked like she was about to reply when he stopped her with a gesture. "What, are you surprised? You're the _Dark Lord of the Sith_, Rev. He's a _mind-reader_. Think about it for a second. I'm sure you've got a memory or two in that pretty little head of yours that might scare an eight-year-old kid."

Revan sighed. "Yes, I suppose you're… Wait." She blushed and chuckled lightly. "Did you just say that I'm _pretty_?"

Atton opened his mouth and furrowed his brow. "What? Oh. Well, I… I guess I did. Is that a problem?"

"No… it's just that…" She laughed. "I guess it's a good thing that Carth's not around to hear _that_."

"Can't a guy give a woman a compliment without getting a hard time?" he protested. "It's not like it _means_ anything," he muttered shamefacedly.

Revan still stared at Atton incredulously, a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks. "I can't believe you think I'm pretty. The last person who said that to me was… well… Carth."

Atton glanced away and grumbled, "Well, I _obviously_ thought so at one point… But I don't mean it the way _Carth_ does, before you start getting funny ideas. For the record, I still hate you." He snatched the last remaining card away from Revan and put it back with his card deck. Revan smirked.

"I'm sure you do," she said, sounding skeptical.

"Look," said Atton in a desperate attempt to change the subject, "are you _sure_ you don't want to talk about this Carth thing? I mean, I don't want to be labeled a home wrecker." Revan raised a mocking eyebrow. Atton couldn't help but grin. "Well… not _anymore_. Especially if I'm not even getting any perks out of the deal."

With mischievous eyes, Revan suddenly leaned over and moved closer to him. "Are you saying you wouldn't mind being called a home wrecker if you _were_ getting perks?" She bit her lip playfully and ran a finger up his arm.

Atton glanced over to her, blushed deeply and backed away. "What? No! Stop twisting my words! And stop pretending to hit on me! It's very…" He stopped and glared at her.

"It's very _what_?" asked Revan with an impish smile.

"It's very _disturbing_," he snapped, pushing her back. "Look, Rev, we barely like each other, and—"

"Ah-hah!" exclaimed Revan victoriously. "So you _do _like me!"

"Well, I sure don't right _now_!" exploded Atton. "Are you going to keep at this until one day I cave in and tell you that I like you, whether it's true or not?"

Revan smiled and shrugged. "Pretty much."

"FINE!" he exclaimed violently. "FINE! I admit it. I—like—you. I hate you, but I like you. Are you happy?" Revan grinned in a self-satisfied manner and nodded forcefully. "_Now_ are you going to leave me alone and stop playing with my head?" insisted Atton.

Revan laughed and backed off. "I'm sorry Jaq… It's just so easy to make you uncomfortable."

"Well, I'm glad _one_ of us is enjoying it. You're pretty cruel. Once a Sith Lord, always a Sith Lord, I suppose," he muttered crossly. "I don't know if I hate you more as the Dark Lord Revan or as 'Liah Stari'. You're both equally infuriating. But at least the Dark Lord wasn't this much of a flirt. I'm starting to see why Carth's so paranoid."

Revan's smiled faded. "That's not fair, Jaq."

Atton shrugged. "I think it is. You keep tormenting me." He shuffled his pazaak cards and handed her half the deck. "So what _is_ the deal with Carth, anyway? I mean, other than the fact that he's naturally paranoid. Why is he worried about me all of a sudden? So we have a kid together. You knew it all along, and you didn't throw yourself at me. Why would that change now?"

Revan bit her lip and her blue eyes dropped down to her cards, at which she stared fixedly. She slowly and deliberately laid them down in front of her one by one. She hesitated. "Carth… wants to marry me," she said.

"Well, I know _that_. You're engaged!"

"Yes, I know," she said quietly. "But he wants to marry me _now_. I love him and I can't imagine what life would be like without him…"

Atton tilted his head and arched an eyebrow. "…But?" he asked.

"But," replied Revan, "there's some stuff I need to figure out first."

"Like… what?"

Revan pawed at the cards she had laid out on the floor in front of her and gathered them all up in one swift movement. She carefully avoided Atton's gaze. "Just stuff," she muttered.

"Oh no, you don't!" snapped Atton. "You dragged me out here and made me stay behind even though I didn't want to, then forced _me_ to get that Sithspawn to go to sleep…"

"Don't call him that!" flashed Revan.

Atton narrowed his eyes and stared right into Revan's. "SITH-SPAWN!" he repeated defiantly with much emphasis.

Revan pursed her lips, but said nothing more.

Atton picked up where he had been interrupted. "As I was saying, I had to put the Sithspawn to sleep, and then you freaked me out by hitting on me." He glared at her. "I'm bored to tears and I need some entertainment, so dammit! You're gonna talk." He shuffled his cards. "Now… I'm going to go out on a limb, here… Would this 'stuff' have anything to do with the reason why Carth's been acting so strange?"

She hesitated. "I…" Catching Atton's eye, she decided there was no longer any point in avoiding the topic. "Yes," she admitted dully.

Atton waited for her to continue, but she gave no signs of wanting to carry on with the conversation. Glancing away, she nervously pulled out the elastic band from her ponytail, and restyled her hair.

"And…?" he asked impatiently.

Revan heaved a sigh and wiped her palms down on her pants. "Fine… If you really must know, it's… well, it's got to do with my memory… with what I remembered after I left for the Unknown Regions."

"Oh!" said Atton, visibly relieved. "So it doesn't have anything to do with _me_, then… I was starting to wonder… I mean, what with Carth being so cold toward me…"

Revan smiled thinly. "It's got to do with my memory," she repeated, her tone final, and her eyes still not meeting Atton's. She briefly peered up and saw that Atton was waiting for her to continue. "Oh, all right!" she said, mildly annoyed. "If you really must know…" She took a deep breath. "Well, I think I told you… I remember everything now. You know—about my past. Some of it…" She laughed mirthlessly. "Well, it took me a while to deal with it—to face it. I was starting to remember it before I left… to remember what I had done. I was becoming obsessed with it. Carth… he stood by me all that time, but I was pushing him away. I knew what I had done—well, some of it, anyway, and I made good guesses at the rest. And I just couldn't handle the thought of someone like him being stuck with someone like _me_. He's so… _good_—far too good for the likes of me. I loved him, but he deserved better than me. Then one day, I realized that if I hoped to one day deserve him, I had to try and make things right. I had just remembered about the Sith threat in the Unknown Regions, and I knew that was the only way I could try and undo some of the wrong I had done. So I left, not knowing if I was ever going to come back. And after I arrived, more of my memory came flooding back to me. I…" Her eyes became fixated on the half deck of cards that lay on the floor before her. "I probably could have come back… for a visit, for a break. I missed him like you wouldn't believe. Actually…" She laughed bitterly. "I guess you _would_ believe it."

She looked up at Atton significantly and he nodded. Her eyes dropped back down.

"Well, as you know, I didn't come back," she continued. "The truth is, I couldn't face him. I couldn't face him knowing what I'd done. Not anymore. It had been easier before I left, because I didn't remember all that much. But after a little while, I had remembered everything about my past… I remembered Daynn… and I remembered _you_."

Her gaze locked with Atton's, and she stopped talking. He furrowed his brow.

"Me? What about me? I mean, other than the fact that I was apparently supposed to replace Malak and that you thought I was hot—or so you say—and that you'd slept with me. I mean, no offence, but compared to the other stuff you've done, I'm pretty sure spending the night with one of your Jedi killers rates kind of low on the scale of things you should be ashamed of."

Her cheeks grew red and her heart rate sped up. "It's not… That's not the part… It was more than just that."

He studied her features carefully, suspiciously. "More? Dammit, Rev, what more are you going to hide from me?" he asked, irritated. "I'm not saying you have to tell me everything, but if it's stuff that has to do with me…" He clenched his teeth and tried to prepare himself for the worst. "What _more_ did you not tell me?"

"The same part I refused to tell myself then," she breathed quietly. She nervously untied her hair again and said no more.

Atton exhaled deeply. "Look. Rev. I realize we've got all night and all, but as you well know, I'm not the most patient man in the galaxy. So can you please just cut the cryptic talk, and just come out and say it so we can move on to something else that's more fun, like playing pazaak or counting our brain cells as they die?"

Revan winced slightly. "Jaq…" she pleaded, biting her lip.

"Will you just _say_ it, Rev?" he asked, becoming incensed.

She frowned. "Jaq…!" she repeated, slightly irritated.

"For Force's sake, Revan!" he flared. "Just _say_ it!"

"Jaq!" she protested violently.

"SAY IT!" Atton bellowed.

"I LOVE YOU!" shouted Revan, exasperated.


	20. Awkward Moments

**Chapter 20 – Awkward Moments**

Atton's eyes opened wide. "What?" he gasped.

"I loved you," said Revan, her gaze wavering.

Atton shook his head violently. "No, no… _no, no_!" he exclaimed, horrified. "That's _not_ what you said. You said 'love'. PRESENT tense. Do… do you…" A desperate, bewildered look spread on his face and he drastically lowered his voice. "Do you _love_ me, Revan?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"No!" she replied hastily. Her eyes met Atton's and wavered. "I don't _know_." She hung her head and shook it. "I loved you, yes… back then… in my own twisted way." An air of skepticism appeared on Atton's face. Revan shrugged. "Look, I'm not saying I knew how to _show_ it properly. I was… well… _evil_. I didn't _know_ how to love, but I still… _did_. I hated you, but I loved you." She glanced away. "And you see, when I remembered about you… well, I had a hard time differentiating between what I felt before, when I was Lord Revan, and what I felt just then. It was strange… all the memories I had… it just seemed like they had _just_ happened. And so what I had felt for you…" She laughed bitterly. "Well, let's just say it's a little confusing to be in love with two very different people at once."

Atton's face was motionless and sported a stunned gizka look, so Revan felt she should continue. It was too late to turn back anyway.

"Of course, I didn't think I'd ever see you again… So I imagined it would be very easy for me to forget about you. And I almost did. The only times I thought about you were when I thought about Daynn. And then of course, I only thought of you bitterly, because I still believed you had just walked out on me." She laughed. Atton's face, very pale, showed no emotion safe for the slight flicker of an eyebrow. "But then…" Revan hesitated. "I went to look for you to help me find Jena…" she faltered. "I of course had no idea that it was _you_. If I had, I… probably wouldn't have looked for you." She looked down. "I really wish she had told me," she whispered. She lifted her head up again and gazed into Atton's confused, terrified eyes. "And then I saw you…"

"Stop," hissed Atton through pale lips. "Rev… please… Just _stop_ right now. Why are you telling me all this?"

Revan smiled wistfully. "I'm telling you because you asked, Jaq."

Atton blinked at her a few times. He then shook his head and opened his mouth, but no words could come out. He shook his head again, and after a few seconds of trying to speak, he finally managed to mutter, "_Dammit_, Rev!" She sat quietly, demurely looking at him. "Is… Are…" he stammered. "Frack, I have _no_ idea how to react to this. At least when I found out about Daynn, I could get angry. But _this_…" He slowly wrinkled his brow. "No, Rev, you don't love me. You can barely _stand_ me!" he said vehemently. "I can barely stand _you_! You love _Carth_! I love _Jena_!" He shut his eyes and gesticulated out of frustration. "You're my _master_ and I…" He opened his eyes and looked right at her. "DAMMIT, Rev!" he said again.

"I _know_!" she exclaimed. "Don't you think I know all that? It's just so…" She exhaled deeply. "I just don't know what to think anymore. The… the Jedi Council… they really messed me up."

"You don't say!" blurted Atton sarcastically.

Revan looked hurt. "No need to get personal," she muttered darkly.

"No need to—?" repeated Atton loudly. "Revan, are you _listening_ to yourself? This is _crazy_! Look, Rev, I like you. Okay, I like you a _lot_. I like you _far_ too much considering how you drive me up the wall, and how much you've messed up my life in the past. And don't get me started on the Force choke thing. But you can't just…" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "_How_ are you expecting me to react to this? Are you waiting for me to tell you I love you? Cause you know that's not going to happen!"

"I KNOW!" she bellowed. "And I don't want you to, either. Force, as if things weren't complicated enough for me as they were. That's the _last_ thing I would need… _or_ want."

Atton shot a look at Revan, clearly indicating he thought she was insane. "You're nuts! You're completely and unmistakably _nuts_! What do you _want_ from me?" he shouted desperately.

"I don't know, Jaq! I just need some time to—"

"Time?" he repeated. "_Time_?" he yelled. "But… what about _Jena_? I'm with _Jena_. I _love_ Jena! You do remember Jena, right?"

"YES!" she exploded. "I remember Jena, and I remember Carth, too! I love Carth more than anything. I love Carth more than I've ever loved _you_! It's just… with having you around… and the memories… and…" She tried to continue, but no words could come out. She finally managed to utter, "It's just confusing!"

Atton scoffed loudly. "You can say _that_ again!" he cried frantically.

In one move, he collected all his pazaak cards from the floor and got up. He limped toward the door, putting his cards away in his pocket.

"Jaq!" Revan called after him. "Where are you going?"

He turned around and faced her. "I'm going outside. I'm going back to the ship. I'll take my chances with the vornskrs. In fact, I kind of _hope_ they attack me, because then I at least won't have to deal with this situation or with _you _anymore."

"Jaq!" protested Revan. She ran to the door as Atton started unlocking it and swiftly wedged herself between it and Atton. She put her hands on his shoulders and looking into his eyes, she spoke earnestly. "No. You're not going out there. You're not going out there, because if you do, you're going to get killed, and I don't want to have to be the one who has to explain to Jena why I'm coming back without you… _or_ to my son why his father is once again absent from his life. Now come…" She took his hand, which was clenched into a white-knuckled fist. "Come!" she insisted, gently pushing him back. "_Please_, Jaq. Don't leave like this." Atton peered at her suspiciously and hesitated. Revan looked up at him beseechingly. "Please, Jaq," she said soberly.

Atton pursed his lips and exhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring. "Fine," he growled, yielding as she led him away from the door. She pulled him back toward the area where they had been sitting. He submissively followed and sat back down as she did.

"I'm sorry," said Revan slowly. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Atton scoffed. "You're _damn_—" Revan raised a hand to quiet him down. He meekly obeyed.

"I'm sorry," she repeated emphatically. "I don't know why I told you all this, even if you asked me, and I certainly don't know why I almost acted as though I was expecting you to…"

"To have felt the same way?" offered Atton.

Revan nodded. "I guess some small part of me kind of hoped that—You know what, let's not get into this anymore. It's futile. Can we please try to forget this conversation even happened?"

Atton shrugged. "All right…" he said reluctantly

"Thank you."

"Can I just say something?" he asked.

"What?"

"You're insane. I just thought I'd point that out one last time," he stated.

"_Thanks_, Jaq," she replied, rolling her eyes.

Atton flashed a mocking, sly, charming smile. "Hey, you know me… I aim to please. Now come here." He rested his hand awkwardly on her shoulder.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"Come here!" he insisted impatiently. "I'm giving you a hug; now hurry up before I change my mind," he snapped.

Revan smirked and leaned in, wrapping her arms around Atton. She comfortably nestled up against him, while he sat still, stiff as a board, his arms loosely draped about her. _This is weird…What's even weirder is that three years ago I'd have already at least tried to feel her up by now._ He patiently waited until Revan finally loosened her hold and backed away slowly. Atton had just started breathing easier when his eyes locked with Revan's, mere inches apart from each other. Atton felt a flow of blood rushing to his face and his heart beat a little faster, as both he and Revan stopped moving and stared at each other. Atton found himself vaguely thinking about the night Daynn was conceived, and that he really shouldn't be surprised by the fact that he had made the first move if she had looked at him that way with those big, blue eyes of hers. He suddenly became aghast with what he was thinking. _Why am I thinking about this? This isn't right… Why isn't she backing up? Why aren't I? Force, I need to back up. I need to back up NOW._

He held his breath, unable to stop looking at her, a terrified look in his face. Just as Revan subtly and subconsciously moved her face toward Atton's ever so slightly, two things happened: Atton managed to break eye contact and glanced away, and Daynn walked into the room, dragging Atton's cloak behind him.

"Daynn!" exclaimed Atton, relieved and, for the first time, happy to see his son. Revan quickly backed away, her eyes growing wide with horror as she realized what had almost happened, and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Why were you yelling?" asked the boy, a little fearfully. Revan promptly got up and ran to her son.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," she said putting her arms around him and holding him tightly. The boy tensed up, but relaxed a little after a couple seconds. "Ja—your fath—We were just having a… discussion," she stammered. "Come on," she added coaxingly. "I'll go tuck you back in."

Without as much as a glance at Atton, Revan picked Daynn up in her arms and disappeared into the next room. "By all means," Atton muttered sarcastically between his teeth, "do keep my cloak. I won't need it to sleep or anything. It's not at all absolutely freezing in here."

He rested his back up against the wall and leaned his head back. _That was entirely too… Hell, I don't even know _what_ that was. I can't believe she… I really hope she stays in that other room. I can't see her right now. I wouldn't know what to say. This is just way too weird. She was going to kiss me. I _know_ she was. Force, I don't even want to think about what would've happened if she had. I have to tell Jena… But they're friends. I can't just…_ _I mean, Jena's understanding, but I don't know if she'd be _that_ understanding. I can't believe Revan thinks she…_ He shook his head._ Me? That's just insane. I thought she hated me. I thought I hated _her

Atton frowned. _I do hate her. Bishwag's just confounding me with all this. She's confused and she's going to confuse everyone around her. __Damn Dark Lord. I have to be careful. I'm not losing Jena over something like this. Not after all I went through._

He shut his eyes, and for an instant recalled how befuddled he had been to realize that Revan was leaning in closer to him. He grew angry with himself for not pulling away any sooner. Strange images of what may have happened had he not looked away or had Daynn not walked in started appearing in his mind. He shuddered. _This is just plain crazy. _She's_ just plain crazy and she's trying to take me down with her. Well, it's not going to happen. She's ruined my life once, I'm not going to let the Dark Lord of the Sith get the better of Jaq Rand twice. Or Atton, for that matter._

He pursed his lips and pulled out his cards. _I need to stop thinking about this. The faster I forget all this, the better it will be._ _Damn woman. Why did she have to tell me this? I was _happy_ before. I suppose I did ask her to tell me, but she could've made something up. _He furiously slapped down a card on the floor. _I mean, honestly! She's lied to me ever since I met her; why couldn't she just lie to me once more?_ He slapped another card down. _How the hell am I supposed to be able to look at Carth now?_ He placed down yet another card. _And Dustil?_ And another card. _And… and…?_ He glanced down at his deck. _Thirty-two? THIRTY-TWO? How the hell does THAT happen?_

He sighed and gathered his cards back up. _This woman will be the death of me. She tried to kill me once, now she's just trying to finish the job in a more subtle way. I guess _I_ won't be getting any sleep tonight. Not with this looming over me._

He shook his head and dealt his hand.

* * *

Atton opened his eyes and his first conscious thought was the fact that his neck felt extremely uncomfortable. His second thought was that his injured leg was throbbing. 

"Ouch!" he groaned as he sat up straight. He had fallen asleep playing pazaak and had somehow managed to lean his head against a pile of debris on the floor next to him, cocking his neck at an odd angle. He let go of the card he was still holding and ran his hand up to his neck to massage his sore muscles. He recalled the night's events and groaned again. He squinted in an effort to block out the light that directly beamed down on him through one of the windows. Glancing down, he noticed that his cloak was draped over him. He sat and stared blankly at it for a moment, not knowing whether to be touched or horrified that Revan apparently kindly thought to cover him up with it as he slept. He slowly got up, cringing as he leaned on his bandaged left leg. Once he stood up, he peered down at it and realized that it was swollen. _Gee, can't imagine why that would be… Though I guess it would be far worse if Revan hadn't been there to…_ He stopped his train of thoughts short. _I'm not going to think about that. I'm just going to go back and see Jena. Yes. Jena. I _really_ need to see her right now._

Grimacing slightly, he hobbled over to the room where Daynn and Revan had assumedly slept. When he walked in, he noticed a distinct stillness in the room.

"Rev?" he hazarded to ask out loud. He looked around the room. It was virtually empty, safe for the pilot's and co-pilot's seats. There was no way Revan or Daynn would be able to hide anywhere in that room. "Revan?" he muttered futilely. He raised an eyebrow. _Well, she left without me. After all that fuss she made last night over me leaving on my own. Typical. I suppose she probably left after daylight broke, but even so… Guess I just have to find my way back on my own now. It'll be fun with this leg of mine. I'm feeling far worse today than I did yesterday._ He tried to stretch his leg out and clenched his teeth. _Yeah. Loads of fun. And of course as luck would have it, the guy working our med bay hates me and wants to kill me. Let me tell you, this past day just keeps on getting better._

Inhaling through his clenched teeth to avoid crying out in pain, Atton started limping along carefully toward the door after putting his cloak back on. He walked out into the forest and was amazed at how dark certain areas of the forest still were. He reflected that the light that currently shone down on him was caused by the path Jena had created in the trees when she landed. He took a few steps and tried to remember which way he and Revan had come from when they stumbled upon the ship. _The place looks really different. I have a bit of an idea as to where I should be headed, but…_ He shook his head. _I can't believe she just _left_ me here! I can barely walk! Did she hope that a few vornskrs with insomnia might finish me off so she wouldn't have to face me again? _He glanced down at his injured leg and sighed heavily. _This will be fun._

He walked a few meters when he suddenly heard voices not far away. He stopped and listened.

"Jena?" he called out.

"Atton!" replied one of the voices.

Atton felt as though his heart stopped as the blood drained from his face. He heard the noise of leaves being trampled and suddenly saw a familiar face appear from behind a tree.

"Atton!" Jena repeated. She ran to him and threw her arms around him. He held his breath and put his arms about her, squeezing her tightly, feeling a sudden pang of guilt. _Why am I feeling guilty? I didn't do anything… I didn't even _want_ to do anything…_

Jena buried her face in his shoulder. "Oh, Atton, thank the Force you're all right. When Revan came back without you and told us you'd need help getting back because you were injured, I thought…" She kissed him repeatedly. He closed his eyes and slowly rubbed his cheek against her temple and inhaled deeply, clenching his teeth. _Never in a million years… I am not doing anything to screw this up. I'm not going to lose you, Jena Shel._

Jena pulled back and glanced down at his leg. "Atton!" she gasped. "What happened to you? I mean I knew you were injured, but…"

Atton opened his eyes and his gaze followed hers. "Oh." He tried to sound nonchalant. "Well, I got bitten by one of those cute little homicidal creatures you were warning me about…"

"You got bitten by a vornskr?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah, didn't she tell you?" He was reluctant to speak Revan's name to Jena. It seemed… wrong, somehow. He kissed the wrinkle in her brow and gazed into her eyes, which were full of anguish. "I… Daynn and I were attacked… and _she_ came out to help me… and… and look, Jena, there's something I have to tell—"

Atton interrupted his sentence as he looked ahead of him and saw Bao-Dur and Mical appearing from behind the trees. Atton's features hardened and he pulled away from Jena slightly. "For Force's sake, Jena," he hissed. "What is _he_ doing here?"

Jena's eyes wavered guiltily, but immediately rose again and gazed steadily at Atton. "You're injured, Atton," she breathed. "You need help. You know as well as I do that he's best suited for the job out of all of us."

Atton shut his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. "Yes, but… _him_? Jena, he tried to _kill_ me! You know that, you were _there_!" he said, throwing his arms up in exasperation. He took a step back and grimaced. Jena took his hand and pulled him back to her. She gently cradled his face in her hands.

"See?" she said quietly. "You need help. Help I can't give you, especially not when I can't use the Force." She sighed. "Look, I know this isn't… ideal. But I talked to him, and he truly is sorry about yesterday…"

"Oh, _is_ he, now?" he said sarcastically. "No offense, but it might mean a bit more if that apology actually came from _him_," he muttered. "Not that I want to talk to him. Look, Jena, I'm _fine_. I don't need your psychotic pretty boy to look after me."

Jena frowned. "Atton…"

"I said I'm _fine_!" Atton repeated a bit more loudly.

Mical scoffed. "You're _not_ fine, Atton," he interjected. "Your left leg is almost twice the size of your right one. I know you don't trust me, and I wouldn't expect you to… But what could I possibly do to you with my master and Bao right here, ready to defend you?" He laughed bitterly and shook his head gently. "Just let me look at your wound." He held up his medical kit.

Atton opened his mouth to make a harsh comment, but caught Jena's eye and hesitated. "Fine," he spat, glaring at Mical. "I hope you don't trust _me_, because you should know I'm not above stabbing you in the back at this point."

Mical shrugged nonchalantly. "It's a risk I'll have to take, Atton. I have a duty to do as the _Ebon Hawk_ medic. Also my master asked me to do this, so I will do it whether you like it or not. Now sit down." Mical walked over to Atton and put his medical kit on the ground as the latter sat reluctantly. _Of course. She's still his master even if she's not mine… _He clenched his teeth. _How could she do this to me? I bet even Revan wouldn't have asked—no, I'm not going to go there. _He shut his eyes._ Yesterday went from bad to worse, and today's off to a wonderful start._

Mical began removing Atton's bandage and cringed at the state of the wound.

"It's a very good thing Liah was there to help you, because it would have likely been far worse today. Why didn't you go back to the _Ebon Hawk_ rather than go trampling in the bush with her? I realize Daynn's your _son_ and all"—the word was infused with malice—"but I can't even conceive of how you managed to walk at all."

Atton shrugged. "It felt a lot better then. She healed me with the Force. I wasn't about to let her go wander off into the forest by herself when it was my fault Daynn was there in the first place."

Mical smiled venomously. "I reckon she told you she didn't need you, and you, testosterone-driven as usual, weren't about to let her think you weren't able to keep up."

Atton shot him a black look. "Hey, just who do you think—"

"Boys!" snapped Jena. "That's enough."

Mical's eyes dropped down to Atton's injured leg and he resumed cleaning out the wound. "I'm sorry, master," he mumbled.

Atton raised a perplexed and suspicious eyebrow. _When did he start calling her 'master'? It's what—three times he's called her that since he got here?_

"I assume that's the ship, General?"

Bao-Dur, who had been standing off at a safe distance in an effort to not get involved in what he had assumed would end up being an ugly scene between Atton and Mical, saw the gap in the conversation as a good chance to steer it away from the dangerous direction it was taking. Jena turned around to look at what Bao was referring to.

"She's the one," Jena replied. "Take any parts you need. As you can tell, it's not like this ship's going to be able to go anywhere anytime soon. To be quite honest, I was starting to wonder if I'd ever get off the planet, when you guys showed up. I'm pretty thankful you did, because I was stranded here."

Atton frowned. _That's not exactly what you told me, my dear…_

"Actually," she added, "there's some stuff I should probably show you…" She peered apprehensively at Atton and Mical. The latter nodded.

"It's all right, master. I'm quite certain Atton and I will be able to behave during your absence."

_Again with the 'master'!_

"We'll be fine, babe," Atton said as casually and confidently as he could, putting a slight emphasis on 'babe' to show Mical the difference between the latter's relationship with Jena and his own.

Jena gave them both a long hesitant look, then turned around and followed Bao-Dur into the ship.

Atton sat, uncomfortably staring at the top of Mical's blonde head as the young Jedi crouched down before him bandaged up his leg. "So… what's with all the 'master' talk, anyway?" he finally asked.

Mical looked up, clearly surprised that Atton would even talk to him. Atton himself had been shocked to hear his own voice.

"Master Shel has resumed my training," Mical replied monotonically. "She is my master, and I have decided to address her as such. She understands my reasoning and has reluctantly agreed to it."

"You mean that was all _your_ idea?" Atton asked, knowing that he should not be surprised. He couldn't picture Jena demanding that anyone, much less someone she considered a friend, called her 'master'.

"Of course it was my idea," replied Mical, sneering. "I feel that by addressing her as such, I will be able to distance myself from her… at least, somewhat."

Atton shuddered. "Well, don't call her that when you talk to me. It's weird. It feels like you're talking about somebody else."

So Jena has resumed Mical's training. Interesting. I wonder if it was her idea or his. I bet it was his. Any excuse to spend time with her.

"Very well," Mical replied, "but it is while speaking to you that I should be distancing myself from her most. I do not wish to have a… repeat of the various outbursts I've been having recently."

Atton scoffed. "'Outburst'? Is that what you're calling it to make you feel better? You tried to _kill_ me, Mical!" he cried. "AGAIN! And don't even think about denying it this time."

Mical's eyes dropped back down to the wound he was bandaging, and his cheeks reddened.

"I know," he muttered. "I'm sorry. I… I don't know what came over me. It will not happen again."

"You're damn _straight_ it won't happen again!" Atton shouted.

Mical shut his eyes. "Please, Atton…" He spoke quietly. "I don't wish to fight with you any longer… as difficult as this may be to believe. I don't suppose there is anything I can say that will make you trust me again… assuming you ever did."

"I can't imagine why that would be," snarled Atton, ignoring Mical's last spiteful comment. "Last time you apologized, you ended up using the Force to knock me off my feet, and threatening me with your lightsaber, not five minutes later. We're both lucky Jena's got a good sense of timing."

"Yes, well _you're_ lucky she's a trusting woman," he mumbled. Suddenly realizing he had uttered the words out loud, he bit his lip and kept his head down.

Atton's blood drained from his face. "What was that? What are you implying?" he demanded hotly.

"Nothing," Mical said, tight-lipped. "Forget I said anything. I think it's best if we don't talk about her."

"No, no, no!" vociferated Atton. "_You_ went there, and I'd like to know what it is you're getting at."

Mical glanced up at Atton and sighed heavily. "Very well. You will likely misinterpret what I'm saying as always, but seeing as you asked… If you must know, I think you should stay away from Jena." He sat back resignedly, as one ready for a long-winded battle.

Atton burst out laughing. "Well, it sure didn't take long for you to start up again."

Mical rolled his eyes and continued tending to Atton's wound. "As I said, you're already misinterpreting what I'm saying. I was merely stating the fact that I feel that—circumstances being what they are—she might be better off without you."

"Yes," Atton said sarcastically, "I can see how I misinterpreted what you were saying. Here I was thinking you were telling me to stay away from Jena, when in reality you were telling me to stay away from Jena because she's better off without me."

Mical clicked his tongue irritably. "Atton, you don't understand…" He breathed deeply. "For Force's sake, do you _honestly_ think you are good enough for her? Atton, you have a child with _another woman_! And from what I can tell, there are still unresolved feelings between Liah and you, whether you know this or not. Jena doesn't need to be thrown in the middle of that kind of situation. She deserves better than that."

Atton laughed acerbically. "Better than that? You mean she deserves… _you_?"

"No," Mical replied quietly. "Not me. I don't deserve her any more than you do. Not after what I've done. She's my master, and that's all she'll ever be. Force knows I don't even deserve _that_. I must be content with what I have."

Atton raised a dubious eyebrow. "What, so you're giving up on her… just like that? When yesterday you were ready to kill me over her? Forgive me if I don't buy it…" He smirked acidly.

Mical shifted his weight to the other side and looked Atton in the eye. "No, not just like that. I've been meditating a lot since yesterday. Force, that's _all_ I've been doing. And Jena has been helping me. I love her. I always will love her. But there comes a time when one has to start taking _her_ needs into consideration. After all, that's what love is, isn't it? Thinking of the _other's _happiness? And she deserves better than me." He pursed his lips. "_Or_ you."

Atton laughed sardonically. "Oh, I get it now… You're trying to make me think she's better off without me, so I'll back off… and so you can step in."

Mical shrugged. "You can think what you want, Atton. I'm through fighting over her. She doesn't need to be constantly caught in the middle of this. You can do what you want. You can carry on as you were doing and pretend I never said anything. I won't stop you. But if I'm right about you… and I think I am… you will hurt her. And when you do, Atton, I _will_ come after you."

"So much for the calm, meek little Jedi act, huh, Mical?" quipped Atton.

Mical's eyes gazed serenely at him. "It's not an act. I'm perfectly calm. You won't get the better of my temper again… _unless_ you hurt her. You and Liah have no idea how many people you stand to hurt."

Color ran up to Atton's cheek and he protested lamely. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're a terrible liar, Atton," Mical said coolly. Atton flushed a deeper shade of red when he realized it was the very thing he kept repeating to Revan whenever he knew she was lying through her teeth. "You can generally conceal your feelings well, and can lie convincingly… but not when you're caught off guard like this. Not when it has to do with your feelings."

"Look, Mical," Atton said in a hoarse whisper. "I love _Jena_. You _know_ I do."

"I know you say you do. And I know you once let her go because you realized it was best for her. That does show you once had her best interest in mind. I…"—Mical looked as though it pained him to admit it—"I know you mean well. I know you wouldn't _knowingly_ hurt her. But perhaps you haven't noticed the fact that you've spent more time with Liah than with Jena ever since we found her."

"And whose fault is _that_?" snapped Atton in an accusatory tone.

Mical sneered slightly. "I take this seemingly rhetorical question to mean you're insinuating that I'm somehow to blame. If I were you, I would however take a look back at all the time you've spent with Liah rather than with Jena over the last day and think about why that was."

Let's see… I went to see her to confront her about hiding the fact that Daynn was my son… then I spent the night out here with Revan because we were looking for Daynn…

"Daynn's to blame!" Atton said. "It's not _my_ fault."

Mical raised an eyebrow. "As quick to point the finger at others as always, I see." He exhaled deeply. "And Daynn is here because…?" he asked as patiently as he could.

Atton's brow wrinkled lightly, and he closed his mouth. _Daynn is here because of me. Dammit, he's right. I _am_ hurting her without knowing._ "That's not fair!" he protested. "Daynn was born years before I even met Jena."

"That's true," conceded Mical. "However, Jena is suffering _now_, and not because of Daynn. She never said anything, of course… she never would, especially not to me. It's not the fact that you have a son that bothers her. She adores the boy. I'm sure you've noticed that much. No… it's the fact that you've been spending so much time with your son's _mother_ that's getting to her. So far it hasn't bothered her too much… she probably assumes it's normal, being as you just found out about all this. She is a very reasonable person, as you well know… but there certainly was a strange look in her eyes when HK-47 told her you were stranded with Liah in her old ship for the night. I can see this situation taking its toll on her with time, the more time you spend alone with Liah."

"Well, that's easy enough to avoid," said Atton practically. "I'll just stay away from Revan from now on. Can't be that hard, seeing as I can barely stand her…"

Mical smiled condescendingly. "Giving up on your training, are you?"

"What?" Atton asked incredulously. "Oh!" He stared. "DAMMIT!" he blurted. _My master. She's my farkling _master_. Why do I keep forgetting this?_

"As I was saying, Atton, you will hurt her whether you want to or not. And then you will lose her." Mical finished off bandaging Atton's leg and looked at him almost pityingly.

Atton frowned and violently pulled his leg away from Mical's grasp.

"I'm _not_ going to hurt her!" he snarled. "I don't care _what_ you think. She knows there's nothing going on between Revan and me. Revan's my master. My _master_. She's _training_ me. And I can't help it if Rev—" He stopped himself just as he was about to blurt out what Revan had told him. He shook his head. "You know what? Mind your own business."

Mical shrugged and got up. "Suit yourself. You've been warned. Do the right thing—break it off with Jena—and maybe she won't end up hating you in the end." He gathered up his medical kit. "I'm doing you a favor," he added seriously. He then turned toward the ship, leaving Atton sitting on the ground with a perplexed look on his face.


	21. Lift off

**Chapter 21 – Lift-off**

"All right, let's try this again, shall we?" quipped Revan as she leaned over the galaxy map to set the course for Coruscant.

Atton and Carth, sitting respectively in the co-pilot's and pilot's seats, both occasionally uncomfortably glanced at each other when the other wasn't looking. Carth muttered something to himself.

"What was that?" asked Atton, immediately wishing he hadn't.

Carth turned to him, looking sour. "I said taking off would be a hell of a lot easier if you hadn't practically wrapped us around that tree," he growled.

"Well, forgive me for trying to save our lives while you held on to this seat for dear life," Atton replied acerbically as he buckled himself in. _Yes, this is a good way to get back in the man's good graces… accuse him of being a coward. You know damn well you'd have been doing the exact same thing if you had been in his shoes. I wonder if Revan told him how she feels about me. Force, I hope not. This could be a very unpleasant trip. Thankfully, Coruscant's not that far away._

Atton glanced over his shoulder at the small crowd of people that had gathered up behind him and Carth in the cockpit. "Shouldn't you people be buckled down somewhere other than here?" he asked, snapping at them in an effort to avoid snapping at Carth. "There are _way_ too many people in here. Bao—you sure your repairs will hold?"

"They'd better!" replied the Zabrak, raising an eyebrow.

"Make that they'd _damn well_ better!" commented Atton. "This planet is wearing a little thin. All right then—all of you who don't need to be here, get out." He shot a threatening glare across the room. "That includes _you_, Revan. I had enough of you hovering over my shoulder on the way down," he glowered.

Carth cast Atton a quizzical sidelong glance as he started up the engines. Revan opened her mouth in protest, but closed it again, reflecting that it was probably best not to be left alone with the two men. Besides, it was the first time Atton talked to her since the night she told him how she felt about him, and she didn't want to start another argument. She obediently walked out without a word, much to everyone's surprise—everyone, except Atton, who was slowly becoming accustomed to her silence.

It had been two days since Revan and Atton returned from their overnight stay aboard Jena's ship. The two had been carefully staying away from each other during that time, and their mutual avoidance had not gone unnoticed by the crew. By now, all were used to Atton and Revan's scenes and heated arguments, which usually ended up with Atton calling her every name in the book, or with Revan leaving the room in a huff—or both. So it seemed strange to witness an eerie silence at all times on board, safe for the occasional sound of clashing lightsabers emanating from the cargo hold after dark, when Mira and Dustil got bored of playing pazaak.

Mira, uncharacteristically, couldn't quite pinpoint the cause of the quietness and of the weird tension between certain crewmembers: Revan, Atton, Carth, Jena, and Mical. That is, she was able to take a good guess as to why there may have been tension between Atton and Mical, but couldn't quite grasp why there should be any between the others. Clearly something had occurred between Atton and Revan to force their unusual silence. She assumed it may have had something to do with Daynn, and perhaps with the new sleeping arrangements—as the moment Atton, Revan, and Daynn returned from spending the night in Jena's ship, it was decreed that the current ones would no longer do.

_"Are we having this discussion again?" Atton asked. "This is getting really old. I thought we figured all that out before picking up Bao-Dur. Are you suddenly unhappy with your choice of roommates?" he added maliciously, innocently glancing at Dustil, who blushed furiously and shot him a black look._

_Mira's eyes narrowed. "Actually, if you must know, it's the _other_ roommate I'm trying to get rid of," she said sharply. Not at all bothered, Atton laughed. "Look, Atton, I love Jena like a sister. And I love you like that annoying cousin nobody ever talks about at family reunions. But no offense, I just don't want to be in the same rooms as the two of you together any more than I want to be in the same room as Revan and Carth. None of us do." _

_Atton scoffed. "Right. And you think _I_ want to sleep in the same room as them?" _

_"That's not the point, Atton!" said Mira impatiently. "You guys can work out some sort of… schedule. I don't know. Figure something out. All I know is you're moving out of the portside room, and Bao-Dur is moving in. You and Jena can move into the starboard room…" _

_Atton's nostrils flared. "I am _not_ moving into the same room as…" He stopped when he realized that by protesting too loudly, he might attract some unwanted questions from the crew. He took a deep breath. "Fine. FINE!" he finally said, knowing full well that it was all a very, very bad idea. "But the moment I see Carth naked, I'm out of there." _

_"I should hope so," commented Dustil, shuddering._

Just as soon as Atton had agreed to sleep in the same room as Revan, he started plotting out an alternate plan. The first night the new sleeping arrangements were supposed to take effect, Atton made some comment about there not being enough beds for the lot of them in that one room, and headed off to the cockpit, falling asleep in the pilot's seat with his feet up on the control board as Bao-Dur loudly worked on his repairs. When Jena saw Atton leave the room without even wishing her goodnight, she had looked at him strangely, but had said nothing. Atton woke up the next morning, peered over to his right, and noticed that Jena had fallen asleep in similar fashion in the co-pilot's seat. She even had some pazaak cards lying across her lap… though most had made their way to the floor. Atton had initially smiled—she was so cute when she slept—but his smile had quickly faded, and he felt unnerved. What if she were to ask him the real reason why he decided to sleep in the cockpit? They had shared single beds before, and that was likely what Jena had expected they would be doing—likely what everyone had expected they would do. Would he have to lie to Jena, to hide from her the reason why he simply couldn't bring himself to fall asleep in the same room as Revan? …As Revan and _Carth_?

_How could I possibly do that after what Revan told me? But I can't tell Jena about what Revan said… at least not yet. There's enough tension aboard this ship already._

He had stared longingly at Jena's peaceful sleeping face, vaguely wondering if Mical had been right in saying he would only hurt her. First guilt, then confusion overtook him—after all, what had he done to feel guilty for?

The next day, Atton had barely even seen Revan at all. He followed Jena around faithfully all day long, until she laughed and compared him to a kinrath pup—and went to meditate with Mical. At that point, he tracked down Bao-Dur and tried to make himself useful by helping him with the final repairs. The Zabrak had raised an inquisitive eyebrow, confused as to why Atton suddenly offered his help when he expected him to be training with Revan, but he had wisely kept his questions to himself. After all, help was help, and he wasn't about to sneer at it.

The only awkward moment that day had been when Atton looked over his shoulder when he heard someone walk in and found himself looking at Revan, who had walked into the cockpit to check with Bao-Dur on the progress of the repairs. After their eyes locked for an instant, Atton immediately turned his attention back to his repairs, and Revan, her cheeks crimson, left the cockpit as soon as she conceivably could. Atton's exterior did not betray any emotion, but he ended up having to later redo all the work he started doing after Revan arrived in the room, as he made some rather ludicrous errors while she was there.

The second night, Atton shuffled off to the cockpit again without even bothering to give anyone an explanation that time around. By the next morning, all repairs had been done, and the group was now ready to depart for what all but Mira and Dustil fondly hoped would be their last trip together. The tension was practically palpable between certain crewmembers. All secretly felt that there were far too many bodies on board. The wayworn crew was relieved that soon all this stepping on each other's toes would be over and done with. Atton in particular yearned to finally be away from Revan, Carth, and Mical, and to be alone with Jena—blissfully alone.

Carth turned on the engines, and Revan disappeared from the cockpit. Jena, who had silently been watching the scene from the back of the group, wordlessly walked up to Atton, kissed his forehead lingeringly, looked as though she was about to say something, but changed her mind and walked out. Atton turned his head and watched her leave, something inexplicably gnawing at his heart. _I have a very, very bad feeling. Did she look sad? I could swear she looked sad. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Turning into an Onasi, after being around them for so damn long. But I'm sure she looked sad._ He instantly got the urge to madly rush out after her and apologize even though he knew he didn't really have anything to apologize for.

"Atton!" a voice next to him spoke sharply.

Atton jerked his head back toward Carth, who looked at him scrutinizingly. "Are you going to help me get this heap of metal off the ground, or what?" the admiral demanded.

Atton shook his head violently in an effort to obliterate from his mind the thoughts he had been having. He fastened his seatbelt and reached for the console.

"Yeah… sorry, man," he grunted. "Just… thinking."

"I'll bet," muttered Carth.

They heard a snort behind them and both glanced over their shoulders at once. Mical, who had been standing by and observing them, smirked and exited the cockpit. Both pilots' eyes locked.

"I don't trust that guy," said Carth through his teeth.

"_You_ don't trust him?" scoffed Atton. "At least he doesn't seem to repeatedly try to kill you or to steal your girlfriend."

The moment Atton uttered those words he regretted them. _No, he just thinks _you're_ trying to steal his girlfriend, moron._

Carth gave Atton a long look, but said nothing. He then turned his attention back to the control panel. Atton's brow wrinkled.

"Listen… Carth…"

Carth shook his head and pursed his lips. "Let's just get this piece of junk going," he said gravely.

Atton briefly shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and focused his attention to his task. _Yup, this will be a _very_ fun trip._

The _Ebon Hawk_ successfully lifted off, and as they left Myrkr behind, Atton suddenly felt his connection to the Force return. He took a deep breath. He was relieved: at least he would no longer have to deal with the constant fluctuation between areas where he was connected to the Force, and those where he was not. Unfortunately, he also realized that his mind was now left open for anyone to read; or at least, for anyone with a connection to the Force to read. He glanced at Carth with the ghost of a self-satisfied smile. He knew he at least didn't have to worry about _him_. But as for the rest of the crew… He sneered and immediately went back to his old habits of counting cards. He knew that trick would not help protect his thoughts against Daynn's mind-reading abilities, but at least no one else on board, as far as he knew, would be able to access his thoughts.

As they entered hyperspace, Atton sank back comfortably into his seat. _Thank the Force this trip is almost over. I can't wait to be away from…_ He glanced swiftly at Carth—who stared forcibly ahead of him and did his best to act nonchalant—and rolled his eyes. _Speaking of getting away… I think I've worn out my welcome here. He doesn't need me anymore. I should probably go off and see…_ He frowned slightly. Who would he go see? Jena and Mical were likely doing some sort of training… Mira and Dustil would be off in some corner together. He hadn't spoken to Mira one-on-one in days. Bao-Dur would be looking after the ship and hanging out with droids, including HK-47, meaning that Atton didn't want to be anywhere near him. And that left—Revan, Daynn, and Carth. He shut his eyes, clenched his teeth and tried his best to refrain from shaking his head, as he felt Carth's eyes boring in on him. Atton furtively peered at him from the corning of his eye and saw that Carth seemed about to say something, and that his eyebrows were arched in that odd manner he always sported them whenever he wanted to bring up an unpleasant topic. Atton mentally shuddered and quickly tried to come up with the best excuse he could think of to get himself out of the cockpit before Carth spoke up. He estimated that he probably had a few seconds left before Carth opened his mouth, so however way he was going to try and excuse himself, he had to think of it fast. _Whatever it is, it can't involve Revan in any way. So I can't use the training excuse. Daynn? No, he wouldn't fall for that… I've never shown any interest in what he was up to before… And Bao-Dur doesn't need help fixing stuff anymore, so I can't—_

"So… vornskrs, huh?" Carth blurted absent-mindedly.

_Frack. Too late._

"I beg your pardon?" Atton knew perfectly well what Carth was getting at, but he chose to play dumb in an effort to buy himself some time while he figured out a way to duck out of the conversation.

Carth pointed at Atton's now mostly healed leg.

"Vornskrs. They attacked you. Are they really that vicious?"

Atton's left eye twitched slightly.

"No, not at all…" he drawled. "I only had half my calf hanging off the bone."

Carth tried to look as casual as he could, but failed to conceal the suspicious that was clearly gnawing away at his mind.

"Then if you where really that injured, how come you went off into the forest with Liah to look for Daynn instead of going back to the ship?"

_There it is._

Atton took a deep breath and spoke in an overly patient tone. "Well, for one thing, Revan did a pretty good job healing me right then. The pain didn't really kick in again until about an hour later, at which point I could barely walk. For another thing, I felt guilty about losing Daynn the way I did, and I knew Jena would kill me if I returned without him." He smiled unpleasantly. "Not to mention that that woman of yours is real good at pushing my buttons and making me do stuff just to prove her wrong," he added nastily.

"Hard not to notice," Carth said blankly.

_Dammit! No, you're supposed to steer the conversation away from Revan. AWAY! Not remind the man of the constant tension that exists between the two of you!_

"How far away _was_ this ship, anyway?" Carth enquired innocently.

Atton caught on to Carth's insinuations. "Too far to come back without risking getting attacked again," he replied firmly. "Look, Carth, I know where you're going with these questions, so why don't you just save us both some time, cut the crap, and come right out and _say_ it?"

Carth sat back in his seat and stared directly into Atton's eyes. "What happened that night between you and Liah?" he demanded point-blank.

Atton choked on his own spittle. Despite the fact he had asked Carth to be blunt, he was still taken aback by the question.

"Carth! Buddy! Seriously! Nothing _happened_," Atton replied wide-eyed, wondering at the back of his mind if it were really completely true. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she's cute and all, but…"

Carth's left eye narrowed barely perceptibly and he slowly raised an eyebrow. "No. What I mean was, did you guys have a fight? You haven't spoken to each other in two days."

_Frack. Is that what he meant? Well_ this_ conversation is going from bad to worse. Way to sound defensive and guilty, genius._

Atton scrambled to correct his blunder. "Oh. Well, you know how we are… We're always fighting. It's kind of an ongoing thing. I can't think of a time when we're not fighting some way or other." _You're reminding him of the tension again. Force! Shut up! Shut up NOW!_

Carth pursed his lips. "Hard to miss," he replied bitterly. Atton's gaze wavered. "I just wanted to know if something particularly bad had happened between you two. I mean, like you said, you guys always fight… but you've never stopped talking to each other because of it before. Not even that time when she insinuated that HK would make a better Jedi than you, and you started insulting her mother in Huttese." Atton grimaced inwardly. _Thanks. I'd forgotten about that one._ Carth shifted his weight and sighed. "So I ask you again: what happened between you and Liah?"

Atton gritted his teeth and mumbled, "Nothing. Just a stupid argument like the others. It'll blow over." _I really, really hope it does, because I can't deal with this._

Carth studied him carefully through narrow eyes. He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "What did she tell you?"

Atton swallowed and his foot started to jiggle. He moved it behind his other steadier foot to conceal his nervousness.

"Why does it have to be something she told me? You know me and my big mouth. I'm always prattling on, saying the wrong thing." _This conversation being the perfect example._

Carth smiled mockingly. "All right, then, what did you tell her?"

Atton blinked a few times, wondering what he could possibly invent. Carth snorted and shook his head. "Not very good at making stuff up on the spot, are you?" His face grew serious. "What did she _tell_ you, Atton?" he insisted.

Atton's cheeks reddened and he tried desperately not to look uncomfortable. "Nothing… nothing…" he lied. " Just a stupid argument, like I said. Something stupid about our past. I don't really know why we've been sulking this long. I should go talk to her. We need to put this behind us. I really need to get back to training." _Please, anything to get away from this!_

Carth stared at him coldly. "Do you have feelings for her?" he demanded.

Atton's eyes widened and he gasped. "What? No… No!" he answered vehemently. "Carth, this is _crazy_. I love Jena. You know that."

Carth swallowed and asked in a quiet, desperate tone, "Does _she_ have feelings for you?"

Atton gaped at him, almost frightened, not knowing what he should say. He paused for a moment and answered slowly, "Why should she? She's got _you_."

* * *

"We need to talk." 

Atton walked into the security room where Revan stood, closely studying the workings of the communications device she was about to use, and closed the door behind him.

Looking up, Revan turned to face him and eyed him scrutinizingly. "Okay," she said. "What did you want to talk about?"

Atton shook his head.

"No, I mean quite literally—we need to _talk_. In general. We need to stop with this silence nonsense. People—and by people, I mostly mean _Carth_—are weirded out by the fact that we haven't been talking… or more precisely, _arguing_. I think he's starting to think… Force, I'm not entirely sure _what_ he's starting to think, but I think he's on the right track. I just got out of the most awkward conversation _ever_ with him." Revan frowned and Atton gesticulated animatedly. "Revan, he asked me if you have feelings for me." He nervously ran his hand through his hair. "What the hell am I supposed to answer to straight forward questions like _that_?"

Revan's face turned white and her eyes widened. "What did you say?" she asked pressingly. "So help me, Jaq, if you told him—"

"I _didn't_!" Atton replied forcefully. "What do you think I am, some sort of moron?" He winced slightly and quickly added, "Please don't answer that." He shot her a baleful look. "I managed to wriggle my way out of that fun conversation, but I don't know how much longer my little unconvincing 'Why would she want me when she's got you?' act will work. Not that it's completely untrue—I really _do_ kind of wonder that. But he still won't buy it next time around, true or not, and he'll ask for an actual answer. You know he will." Revan nodded slowly. "So anyway," he concluded, "we need to start acting like we normally do again." He looked perplexed. "Why haven't you been talking to me, anyway? If nothing else, _I_ should be the one who doesn't want to talk to _you_."

Revan sneered. "Well, you haven't exactly made any efforts to talk to me either."

Atton exploded and threw his arms out. "Well, come _on_, Rev! Can you blame me? First you tell me…" He stopped and lowered his voice drastically. "First you tell me you… love me… then you try to kiss me, then you just abandon me on that ship… I mean, honestly, Rev, what the hell?"

Revan became flustered. "I didn't… I don't… What I…" She paused and composed herself. "I did _not_ try to kiss you," she said sharply, drawing herself up, her eyes flashing.

Atton laughed sardonically. "Oh, is _that_ so, my Lord? Please. I was _there_. I have to say, I wasn't expecting you to outright deny it, but then again, I should've seen it coming."

"I didn't!" she vociferated. "If anything, it was you who… who…"

Atton slowly walked up to her and stood directly in front of her, inches from her face, grinning widely, mockingly. "It was me who who what? Who tried to kiss you, Rev?" He laughed. "Give me a break. If I hadn't backed away in time, you'd have been sucking on my face like a mynock on power converter."

Revan's face turned a deep red. "Why, you despicable, arrogant, egotistical…"

Atton shrugged. "Go ahead. Insult me. Won't do you much good; I've already been called every name in the book, my Lord. Fact of the matter is, I'm right, and you can't bear the thought. You probably rewrote your memory to convince yourself otherwise, but deep down you know it."

"I know _what_, exactly?" snapped Revan, glaring at him.

"That if I hadn't resisted your advances of questionable ethics, and if Daynn hadn't walked in, you'd me in a hell of a lot more trouble than you are now, Lordship," Atton replied flippantly, smirking, unperturbed by Revan's glares.

"Oh, and _you_ wouldn't be?"

Atton raised an eyebrow. "Hey, don't you go turning this around on _me_! I'm not the one who tried to kiss you."

"_This_ time," Revan replied nastily.

"Oh. Mature. What, are we going to be dragging out ancient history, now? That's of course assuming I can actually believe what you told me. You do seem to have a way of changing events in your head…"

"Fine," she snapped. "Fine. Don't believe me. And don't believe you wanted to kiss me the other night, despite the fact that I could see it in your eyes. Believe what you want. I don't care. I have work to do." She turned back to the communications device. "Now shut up or get out. I have a message to send."

Atton frowned. "A message?"

"Yes, Jaq, a _message_!" Revan said impatiently. "To Coruscant. We need to meet with the Jedi Order when we get there."

Atton immediately forgot about his argument with Revan and started a brand new one. "The _Jedi Order_?" he shouted. "Are you _insane_? Do you _know_ what they tried to do to Jena last time we met with those geezers?"

Revan sighed. "Yes, Jaq… She told me. It won't happen this time."

"Oh _really_!" Atton said, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Funny enough, one of those guys assured me they wouldn't harm her, _right_ before they tried to cut her from the Force. How could you possibly know what they'll do?"

"Because, Jaq, the Jedi Masters you're talking about are _dead_. Others had to step in to replace them. They won't hurt Jena, I promise." Revan shook her head and grumbled to herself. "I'm more worried about what _she'll_ do to me when she finds out about Daynn. Now stay in that corner. I don't need her to be introduced to you quite yet."

Revan pushed a few buttons on the device as Atton peered suspiciously at her. "Her?" he asked.

Before Revan could reply, a hologram activated itself above the console. It was a bit scrambled at first, but slowly came into focus. A face appeared—a young woman in her mid-twenties with long brown hair, and mocking brown eyes. Atton reflected that while she certainly was very attractive, there was definitely something cold and haughty about her stare. She smirked at Revan.

"Well, well, well…" the woman said sarcastically. "The prodigal daughter returns!"

Revan folded her arms and looked at the woman defiantly. "Nice to see you too, princess!"

* * *

_Author's Notes:_ Whew! Sorry it took so long to post this chapter... Life's been insane over the past couple weeks. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews so far. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. 

Just so you know, as my Yahoo group was getting a little confusing, I started up a small message board community instead, and it's an excellent way to harrass me about overdue updates. ;) Visit my author's page and click on "homepage".

SS


	22. Jedi Princess

Chapter 22 — Jedi Princess

"It certainly has been a while," said the woman, smiling a little. "Nice to see you're still alive."

"Now, now, Bastila," said Revan, grinning, "don't say things you don't mean."

Atton repressed a snort and studied the hologram more closely. So _that_ was Bastila.He had heard her name tossed around a few times when overhearing conversations between Revan and Carth. She certainly was attractive… but there was something a bit familiar about the look in her eyes. It was the same one he generally saw in in Revan's: the taint of the Dark side. _Something tells me this one wasn't always a goody-goody Jedi, no matter how much she might want to pretend she was._

Bastila's smile vanished. "It's also nice to see you haven't changed, _Revan_," she retorted acerbically. "I'd heard you were back from the Unknown Regions, and were looking for something. I suppose you have been up to your usual antics?"

Revan smiled, a twinkle in her eye. "I was looking for some_one_, actually. And yes, that sounds about right—only this time I've been driving a completely different crew of people up the wall." She jerked her thumb back in the general direction of the main hold. Atton scoffed. _And has she ever!_ "Well, plus Carth, of course," she added as an afterthought.

Bastila's smile returned. "Do you mean to say that the Admiral is still putting up with you?" Bastila asked pointedly, but with a friendly undertone. "How _is_ Carth?"

"He's fine," Revan replied dismissively. "Listen, I'm not actually getting in touch with you just to chat…"

"Yes, I assumed as much. You've never been one to do that much," said Bastila a bit reproachfully.

"Hey," protested Revan, "it wasn't just you I lost touch with. I didn't talk to Carth either when I was away."

"That _is_ what I was referring to," Bastila replied sharply.

"Oh," Revan said piteously.

"He was miserable without you, Revan," Bastila scolded. "I realize you did what you felt you had to do, but did you really need to leave him the way you did? While he was _sleeping_? And then to proceed to vanish for five years without contacting him at all?"

Revan bit her lip and sputtered, "But… but… I couldn't! I was… too far… I couldn't reach…"

"Five years, Revan!" exclaimed Bastila. "Surely there was a time when you could have come back… or at least sent word that you were still alive!"

Atton frowned. Just who did this Bastila woman think she was? She wasn't entitled to any explanation. So what if Revan didn't contact Carth? Jena hadn't contacted him either, and nobody gave _her_ any grief over that. Well… he was fairly certain he hadn't. Not out loud, anyway. Peering darkly at Bastila's disapproving eyes, he slowly and almost protectively crept up behind Revan. A change overcame Bastila's features. She examined Atton's face curiously, as well as a touch suspiciously.

"I see you've got company, Revan," she said stiffly. Revan turned around, found herself facing Atton, and scowled.

"Jaq!" she grumbled. "I suppose it _was _too much to ask that you remained out of the spotlight for five minutes, especially when a pretty woman is involved." Atton's gaze moved from Bastila to Revan and he cocked an eyebrow. _Oh, is that so, Lordship? That'll teach me to try and help _you Revan sighed and turned back toward Bastila. "Bast, this is Atton Rand…" Atton quietly moved up and positioned himself next to Revan. "…my padawan."

Bastila, who was eyeing Atton, a faint sneer on her lips, quickly turned her gaze back to Revan."Padawan?" she repeated, highly amused. "It's the first I hear of this. I certainly don't recall the Order approving such a"—she looked disdainfully at Atton—"_thing_."

"Since when do I ever do what the Order wants me to?" Revan asked, smiling smugly.

"Good point," Bastila conceded through tight lips.

"Besides," Revan continued relentlessly, "I'm not the one who originally trained him to become a Jedi, so you can't blame me for that. Take it up with Jena Shel. She was his master. But after he started sleeping with her, we all thought it might be best if he became my padawan." Her eyes glimmered maliciously.

Bastila gasped. "The Exi—? He sle—?" she stuttered. "_Please_ tell me you're joking!"

Atton nervously glanced sideways at Revan. Where was she going with this?

"Not at all!" Revan was now grinning to her limit. "In fact… well, I was going to save this conversation for when we met in person, but seeing as you're so hell-bent on questioning me now, I might as well tell you… He used to be one of my Jedi assassins, and is the father of my eight-year-old child."

Atton's eyes opened wide and he practically choked. _Way to drop that on her, Rev. The woman already seemed predisposed to hate me. This is not going to get me into her good books._

"Revan!" Bastila exclaimed shrilly. "You _must_ be…" She paused for an instant and collected herself. "No, of _course_ you're not joking," she added, noticing the stunned gizka look in Atton's face. "Revan, can I please talk to you… _alone_?" Bastila glared significantly at Atton. The latter looked at Bastila, then at Revan, and threw his hands up.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "I didn't really want to be here anyway. I'm going to try to track down Jena, to see if I can pull her away from Mical's clutches." He turned to the hologram. "Nice… um… meeting…" He noticed that Bastila was too busy glowering at Revan to notice him. "Never mind," he said, and immediately exited the room. He closed the door behind him, and as he walked away, he could easily make out muffled female voices shrilly shouting at each other. "Women," he muttered, shaking his head. "You'd think these two were sisters."

He turned toward the cargo hold, where he assumed Jena and Mical would be training. As he set foot inside the room, he was greeted by an unexpected sight: Mira and Dustil, standing in the middle of the room, their discarded lightsabers strewn on the floor next to them, were locked in a tight embrace, their lips pressed up against the other's. Atton smirked and bit his lip to repress a scoff, and immediately backed out of the room.

Well, it's about time… Took them long enough! He spun around and headed back to the main hold, wondering where Jena would be hiding, as she was clearly not in the cargo hold. He made his way to the portside dormitory and peered in. Jena and Mical sat on the floor, both meditating. Atton felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach. The scene was too familiar for his liking and triggered some unpleasant memories of the numerous times he had stood at that very spot and watched enviously at the two Jedi as they meditated together.

This is stupid. Why am I letting this get to me? She has to meditate with him. He needs to train with her, just like I _need more training. Hell, he needs more training than I do because she has to help him get over this cute little habit he has of trying to kill me. _He peeked inside again and glared at Mical who sat with his legs crossed and with his eyes closed. _I just wish he did this training with anybody but her! …Especially now that I can't even train with her anymore. It's not fair—he's in love with her too, and she knows it! Why is it okay for him to keep on training with her, but not for me?_

He peeked inside again and glared at Mical who sat with his legs crossed and with his eyes closed. 

Atton stared broodingly at the pair, sighed dejectedly and turned back. _This whole Revan thing is really messing things up. This whole trip is messing things up between me and Jena. We'd be doing better if I hadn't even gone looking for her at all. I've barely spent any time with her, and we haven't even really talked since…_ He tried to remember how many times they had had a real talk since he had found her and felt disheartened when he realized that it hadn't happened much. Mical was right. He had been spending more time with Revan than he had with Jena, and the mere thought angered him. _This is not how it was supposed to be! I was supposed to find her and to finally be happy, and our problems were supposed to be over! Not… worse! And now, I don't even know what's going to happen after we get to Coruscant. Is she going to want to stay there to train Mical? Is she going to go back to the Unknown Regions? She says she won't, but who's to say she hasn't changed her mind? Maybe… Maybe she'll go back there and bring Mical with her!_ He laughed at himself for even having such a paranoid thought, but something at the back of his mind still wondered if it was a possibility. _And _then_ what am I going to do? Hang around_ Revan_? Pretend that I'm mature enough to have a kid and play daddy with Daynn? No, I'm not going anywhere without Jena, and that's that. And she's not going anywhere without me. I wonder… I wonder why she never answered when I asked her to marry me… I mean, she did seem a little too obliging when I told her to just ignore what I said and to not answer. Seemed almost happy not to answer. _Atton frowned sadly and shook his head violently. _No, this is insane. I just need rest. I need to get away from all these crazy people. I need time alone with Jena… and then everything will be fine. We'll be fine. Everything will be fine. It has to be._

* * *

Mira opened the door to the main hold storage compartment, crossed her arms, cocked an eyebrow and flashed a crooked smile. 

"What do you know… You _are_ here."

Atton opened his eyes and looked up at her. He was sitting on the floor of the compartment, with his legs pulled up close to his chest, and looked less than impressed to have his solitude intruded upon.

"Well, it's not like a guy who wants to be left alone has many places where he could go on this ship," he grumbled. Mira looked around and quickly stepped into the compartment and closed the door behind her. "Hey, what are you doing?" protested Atton. "I just said I wanted to be left alone."

Mira put her back up against the wall opposite Atton and slid down to the floor. The faint glow inside the compartment enabled her to make out Atton's features. He had seen better days.

"Well, I was looking for you," she commented. "What in blazes are you doing here? Carth's shift is up and it's your turn to pilot. He asked me to track you down. This is literally the only place I hadn't checked."

Atton groaned. "Great. Guess I'll go, then." He smirked. "I really hope nobody's hanging around the main hold when we come out of this cramped dark corner together, cause this won't probably look very good. I've got enough women problems, and I've already got one Onasi that hates me. I don't need the entire family against me."

Mira wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about?"

Atton sighed. "I meant if Dustil sees you and I come out of here…"

"Yes, I caught that," interrupted Mira. "I was asking why you think Carth hates you."

Atton stared at her for a few seconds and blinked twice. "You're kidding, right? I thought you always noticed everything about everybody." He smiled maliciously. "But I guess that was before you started shoving your tongue down Junior's throat. Now you're just too busy to notice anything about anyone whose name doesn't start with a D."

Despite the low light, Atton still noticed the colour that rushed to Mira's cheeks. She looked as though she was about to protest, but reconsidered. "Well, I suppose I haven't been spending a lot of time with the rest of you lot recently…" she admitted. "Not to a point that I haven't noticed some sort of tension between some of you, but I still can't quite figure out what's going on."

Atton glanced down and seemed reluctant to say anything. He finally sighed and said, "I guess I'm in a better position to know what's going on, but even then, I don't understand all of it." He looked up at Mira, who was waiting expectantly. He sighed again and started distractedly pulling at a thread that stuck out of the side of his robe. "It's a lot of things. First, there's Jena, who I never see, and who spends all of her time with Mical…" He snorted. "I guess _that_ part sounds a bit familiar, doesn't it?"

Mira smiled faintly and nodded, but did not say a word. Atton continued.

"But that wouldn't be so bad, if it wasn't for… the other stuff." Mira raised an eyebrow. "Revan," Atton added shortly. Mira arched her second eyebrow.

Atton mutely focused his attention onto his loose thread.

"Atton?" she entreated when it became clear to her that he was unwilling to say any more.

Atton let go of his thread and slid his legs down. "I'm not sure I want to talk about that," he muttered bitterly under his breath.

Mira narrowed her eyes. "You damn well _better_ talk about it, flyboy…" she said through her teeth. "Because I swear, if you cheated on Jena…"

"I did _not_ cheat on Jena!" exploded Atton. "We didn't do anything! She just—Revan, that is—she just… Well, she's confused… and… the most infuriating person I've ever met… and… she says… she thinks…" He stopped and shook his head violently. "She's _insane_, that's what."

"So… she likes you," Mira summed up.

"Yes," breathed Atton. He glanced away.

"She's attracted to you."

"I… think so." He paused and caught Mira's eye. "Yeah," he added, his gaze dropping again. "She says… she says she used to love me, back in the day. Can you believe it? I mean, I _hated_ her! I never would've thought…" Mira looked sceptical. "What?" he demanded.

"I don't think you hated her as much as you say you did," she replied. Atton opened his mouth angrily and she continued, "Don't get me wrong… I know you hated her. But I think part of you might have… I mean, hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is."

Atton scoffed. "Yeah, well, maybe that's the case if you start out by loving the person. If you hate them from the get-go, it's different."

Mira tilted her head curiously and said, "Yes, but you _didn't_ always hate her. When you served under her in the Mandalorian Wars… I mean, you didn't love her then, obviously, because you didn't know her… but you at least respected her. You looked up to her. You can't deny that. You only started hating her after she fell to the Dark Side. After she started to demonstrate how cruel she had become. Around the time when you started hating _yourself_ for following her and doing her bidding, because you started to feel she had betrayed the ideal for which you had originally followed her."

Atton's hazel eyes gazed at Mira in wonder. _How does she know all this? I didn't even know this before just now!_

"So how do Carth and Jena feel about all this?" asked the redhead blankly.

"Well, I don't know… they don't really… we didn't tell…" he stammered for a moment, then breathed in and, innocently added, "About all_ what_, exactly?"

"About the fact that you and Revan have unresolved feelings for each other."

Atton gasped. Mira never was one to beat around the bush, but it still surprised him when she made point-blank comments like that one. "We do not… Well, _I_ do not have unresolved feelings for her."

"Sure you do! Otherwise you wouldn't be hiding out in here brooding by yourself, then pouring your heart out to me. You'd be with Jena, locked in the hyperdrive room or something, busily ripping her clothes off."

"She's training with _Mical_!"

Mira rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Like that would stop you. You'd just tell him off and steal her away. Nothing you haven't done before, I'm sure. No, you're feeling guilty, because you do have some feelings for Revan and you don't know how to cope with it."

"I do _not_!" snarled Atton. "This is stupid. I love Jena. Jena. Remember? The girl I travelled halfway across the galaxy to find?"

"Oh, I remember… but I also remember who you travelled _with_ to find her."

Atton angrily leapt to his feet. "I don't know why you're telling me this, but just… stop it! You're making things worse!"

"Things generally get worse before they can get better. You need to work out your feelings. You'd be best to get away from both of them for a while."

Atton laughed derisively. "Yeah, like _that's_ an option around here." He opened the door and turned to Mira. "And by the way, congratulations."

"On what?" she asked.

"On starting to sound like a damn Jedi," he snapped, walking away toward the cockpit.

* * *

"You! Out!" Atton snarled at Carth as he walked into the cockpit to relieve the latter of piloting duties, closing the door behind him. 

The Admiral glanced over his shoulder. "Well, _you're_ like a ray of sunshine," he commented. "I'm glad you're in such a great mood."

"Don't… Just… Just don't," replied Atton, shaking his head vigorously. He jerked his thumb back. "Come on—get out of my seat. You've been here long enough. Go… see Revan, or something. She probably wants company. Last time I saw her, she was bickering with that Jedi friend of yours on Coruscant."

"Who? _Bastila_?" Carth heaved a sigh. "They sure don't waste any time… I was hoping they would at least wait to be in each other's presence before they started arguing. This is going to be a fun stay if they're already at each other's throat."

Atton grimaced. "Are they always like that?"

"Pretty much. Thing is, they really do care about each other. They have a Force bond and everything. They're just very… different people… with very similar tempers."

"Must've been fun travelling with the two of them."

Carth rolled his eyes. "You don't know the half of it. Though I'll admit I rarely say eye to eye with Bastila myself. But as for it being fun travelling with the two of them, it wasn't much worse than travelling with you and Liah."

Atton silently stared at Carth, wondering how he should respond. He stared down at his boots. "Look, Carth… about that… I don't… I mean, I'm not trying to…"

Carth smiled weakly. "I know. It's just been rough… You two, trapped on this ship together for so long… Old emotions were bound to come out…" Atton gestured in protest. "Don't bother," Carth interrupted. "I know what's going on. At least, I think I know. But anyway, that should all be over soon, right? I mean, we'll be arriving on Coruscant soon. You won't be constantly in each other's face after that, right?" The older man sounded slightly hopeful.

"I… guess not," replied Atton, wondering if that would be true. "Hey… Carth… do you know what's… happening once we get to Coruscant? I mean, we're not all going to stay there forever like one big happy dysfunctional family, right? Do you know what the girls intend to do after?" He added bitterly, "Cause nobody's really... told me anything."

Carth studied him closely for a moment and took a deep breath. "I don't really know. I suppose I'll be heading back to Telos… as for what Liah is planning…" Carth suddenly looked a little tired.

"Well, of course she'll be going there with you!" said Atton, his words sounding a little forced. "I mean, she's going to want Daynn to have a family, right? And she's sure as hell not going to leave him with _me_."

"I guess." Carth didn't sound too convinced. "But then, she could just as easily leave him with you and Jena and… leave again."

"That's assuming Jena stays," muttered Atton.

The two men looked at each other. After a few seconds, Carth began slowly, "Well, at least you know that Jena was coming back to you for good."

"How do you know Revan wasn't doing the same for you?" Atton said quickly. He was fully aware of the fact that Revan had never intended on staying, and that she had only come back from the Unknown Regions to seek _him_ out so he could help her find Daynn, but Carth didn't.

Carth smiled sadly. "I appreciate the effort… but I know that Liah wasn't planning on staying behind. I figured that out a while ago. She only came back for you."

"Carth!" protested Atton. "That's crazy. She didn't even know that 'Atton' was really 'Jaq', and—"

"I don't mean it the way it sounds," the Admiral interrupted. "She only came back to find Daynn, and she needed _you_ for that. She wasn't expecting to run into me. She seemed surprised enough when she did. I may not be a Jedi, but I can still read minds sometimes… in my own way. Of course, I was in denial for a long time… I was so happy to finally have her back, I didn't want to even explore the possibility that she might be leaving again."

Without a word, Atton crept up toward the front of the cockpit and sat in the copilot's seat.

"Is that why you proposed to her? To prevent her from leaving?"

Carth laughed. "No, I proposed to her because I _love_ her. And the entire time she was gone, I kept wondering what ifs… What if we'd gotten married, would she still have left? What if she never came back and I never got the chance to show her _exactly_ how much I loved her? That was my big regret: that I never popped the question when I had the chance. So… as soon as I saw her again…"

"You didn't want to waste any more time, in case she vanished again," said Atton, finishing Carth's sentence for him. The Admiral nodded.

"I think you might understand a thing or two about that," teased Carth. "I've been hearing things…"

Atton blushed. "You've been..." He stopped and pursed his lips. "Is there really _no_ way to keep anything secret around here?" he demanded hotly.

Carth smiled wanly. "Well... topics come up... people say things..."

"What you're saying is, Revan couldn't keep her big mouth shut," Atton grumbled sullenly. One corner of Carths' mouth curved slightly. Atton noticed the smirk and sighed heavily. "All right," he conceded begrudgingly, "so I proposed to Jena. That's different, though. I was just... I didn't even think before speaking. It was a spur of the moment thing. I just looked at her and all of a sudden I was just afraid that..."

"Afraid she'd vanish and you'd never see her again?" Carth offered.

Atton stared blankly at him. "All right, I get your point. I _get_ it. I proposed to her for the same reason you proposed to Rev." He slouched in his seat. "I get it," he repeated harshly. "It's still... different." Carth arched an eyebrow. "It _is_!" Atton insisted. "_You_ actually _want_ to get married. Me, I'm... well, to say I'm not the marrying type is kind of an understatement. Anyway, I'm just glad Jena's understanding."

Carth smiled thinly. "That she is. I mean, she'd have to be to put up with _you_." Atton's left eye narrowed slightly, but he didn't say anything. "Just don't make the same mistake I did. I kept putting it off, figuring she'd always be there… Figuring I'd have lots of time, that there was no rush… Then she left. I was 39, then. I'm almost 45 now. I wanted to start a family with her. Now… I don't know, I might be too old. And maybe… _just_ maybe… if I had married her then, she wouldn't have left. At least that's what I keep telling myself so I'll feel better. And now… I don't even know if… I mean, it might be too late."

"Why would it be?"

"Because I'm not sure that's what she wants anymore," said Carth wearily, looking significantly at Atton. "Just… do yourself a favour: don't take Jena for granted. Because you just never know."

Atton swallowed and stared ahead of him.

* * *

Atton, now alone in the cockpit, sitting with his feet propped up on the control board, and his eyes half-shut, sat up with a start when he heard the navcomp beeping. They had arrived at their destination and were dropping out of hyperspace. _And this is pretty much the only time when a pilot is actually needed... _he thought. _I don't know why I even stay in here all the time... There never really seems to be a need. Though I suppose it's good to actually have someone in here in case something goes wrong. Don't really see why Carth's so dead set against anyone sleeping in the cockpit. Maybe Republic soldiers become oblivious to their surroundings when they fall asleep, but not _me_. I always know what's going on around me, and anything will wake me up. I haven't had a good night's sleep in years. _He then recalled the events surrounding Malachor V, when Jena walked out on him unnnoticed, and that time when he slept for an entire day after rescuing her. _Well, I guess except for those times... _He frowned. _Jena..._ He had meant to speak with her before they arrived. He had wanted to ask her what her plans were now that they were arriving at the end of the line... and whether those plans included him. But he had not even seen her. He hadn't left the cockpit, and she hadn't sought him out. He sneered. Likely she was still with Mical. _Sweet_ _Mical_, he thought sarcastically. He couldn't understand why she was still spending so much time with him. Sure, he needed the training... but come _on_! He, Atton, certainly needed training as well, but you didn't see _him_ hanging off Revan all the time. Well, not anymore, anyway. Atton didn't want to admit that he was actually afraid of spending time alone with Revan at this point. 

Stifling a yawn, he stretched his neck muscles and lazily reached for the controls. Now that they had dropped out of hyperspace, he could see Coruscant straight ahead in the distance. He had barely rested his hands on the controls when he felt the ship suddenly jerk. His hands slipped and he swore profusely.

"What in blazes is going on?" demanded a shrill voice coming from the corridor. "Jaq, are you fracking up my ship again?"

Atton, having quickly consulted the instruments on the console, shouted out, "Oh no, you don't. You're not blaming _me_ for this." He firmly grasped the controls and steered the ship starboard very suddenly.

"And who else am I going to be blaming?" Revan asked derisively as she walked into the cockpit. "You're the one who's piloting!"

Atton pursed his lips and kept his eyes firmly on the console. "I don't know," he said, pointing at something on the monitor. "How about maybe blaming whoever it is that's shooting at us?

* * *

_Author's Notes_: Yes, I know, this update took forever... Between looking for a new job, packing up my stuff for my upcoming move (I'm the biggest pack rat that ever lived), and life just generally happening, I've barely had any time to write. Hopefully things will settle down for me soon. I haven't abandoned this story, don't you worry. I'm still in the process of figuring out what will be happening. The good news is, I've already got a big chunk of chapter 23 written, so the wait shouldn't be as long for the next chapter. 

In the meanwhile, if you have comments and questions (other than reviews, I mean), you can swing on by my little message board. The URL is posted on my author's page, under "homepage".

SS


	23. Welcoming Committee

**Chapter 23 – Welcoming Committee **

"Shooting at us? _Shooting_?" Revan repeated incredulously.

"Yes, _shooting_!" Atton spat impatiently, swerving the ship suddenly to avoid incoming blast fire. "Why, did you think I was shaking the ship around for fun? We got hit—though thankfully our shields absorbed all the damage. Our hull's still intact… for now. Don't know how much longer our shields will hold if they keep firing at us, though."

"But… I don't… _why_?" Revan cried. "Why are they shooting at us?"

"I don't know!" Atton exclaimed, exasperated, struggling to avoid the blasts aimed at the _Hawk_. "I didn't think to ask them. I thought my time would be better spent avoiding their fire rather than inviting them over for a cup of Chandrilan herb tea to discuss our feelings."

Revan stared out the cockpit window, gaping. Atton had turned the _Hawk_ around and they were now facing the enemy ship. It was a rather small vessel of a make Atton was not familiar with. He frowned. "Who in the blazes—"

"Sith," Revan breathed, still apprehensively staring out the window. "It's a Sith ship—like… like the ones we encountered in the Unknown Regions. Strange that there seems to be only one."

"Well, that's one too many, if you ask me," Atton commented, avoiding more blast fire. He waited for a second to see what Revan would do, and, when she simply stood still and stared at the enemy ship, impatiently demanded, "Well? Are we going to shoot back at them, or are you waiting for them to call for backup first? You know I can't do a thing from here, safe from flying this junk pile."

Revan's head jerked toward Atton and, having snapped out of her reverie, she ran out of the cockpit toward the gun turret. Atton rolled his eyes. _How did this woman ever become a general, then a Sith lord?_ _She's utterly useless in battle._ His thoughts were interrupted by the crackle of his comlink.

"All right, I'm here," said a metallic, distant voice. "I see them… try and get as close to them as possible… and try to avoid their blasts."

"Gee, thanks," Atton said sarcastically. "I hadn't thought of that one." Some blue blaster bolts flew from the _Ebon Hawk _toward the Sith vessel. "Hey, Rev," Atton wondered with dripping sarcasm as he moved his ship closer to the enemy, "ever think about installing a _second_ gun turret on this ship?"

"I am _now_!" the voice at the other end of the comlink spat. Revan's last word was cut short by the sound of blaster fire. "Get closer to them!" she ordered. "I can barely do any damage from here… plus it's really difficult to aim properly."

"Working on that," he replied, avoiding more blaster shots. He felt a sudden tremor and cursed in Huttese.

"Way to avoid those shots!" quipped the comlink.

"Hey!" Atton protested. "I'm doing my best, here. Unlike us, _they_ appear to have two gun turrets. I'm going to try to sneak up behind them. Their ship is built strangely… I'll bet they can't fire at us if we're behind them."

"You're right," Revan concurred. "They can't. I've seen these things in action before. I don't know what the Sith were thinking when they built these, but… well, I guess they weren't."

"Okay, then it's simple… all we have to do is sneak up behind them, and…"

"Easier said than done," Revan replied as she fired her guns. "They'll see you coming a mile away. Those ships can be pretty fast… but you've noticed _that_, I'm sure.You'd have to really catch them off-guard so they don't turn around."

"Well, that's easy en—"

"ATTON!" The voice hadn't come from the comlink, but rather from the direction of the cockpit door. The pilot started and, keeping his eyes firmly planted on the enemy ship, felt a slight rush of blood to his head. The short woman in brown Jedi robes ran up to him. "What's going on? Who's shooting at us?"

"I dunno, Jens. Rev seems to think this is a Sith ship. They just started firing at us out of nowhere, just as soon as we dropped out of hyperspace. It's almost as though they were waiting for us."

Jena scowled at the window. She couldn't see anything at first, but Atton turned the Hawk around again, and the enemy ship was in plain sight. "It's the Sith, all right," Jena agreed. "I've seen these ships before. This doesn't make any sense. How would they even know we were coming? And why would there be only _one_?"

Atton shrugged. "Well, either they were waiting for us specifically, or they make it a habit of firing at any ship that comes out of hyperspace close to Coruscant. My credits are on the first option… because I somehow don't think an enemy ship firing randomly at everybody would last very long this close to the galactic capital. The Sith probably sent scouts throughout the galaxy looking for you… this is just the only one that found you."

"You're right. They had to have been waiting for us. But I still don't get how they could possibly have known—"

Atton shrugged again. "Rev contracted her friend Bastila on Coruscant a little while ago. Maybe they intercepted the message, knowing we'd be communicating with the Jedi Council sooner or later about you and Daynn."

"She _what_?" Jena cried in disbelief. "Why would she do that? Of _course_ that's what happened! What was she thinking? She should've known they'd be waiting for transmissions from us! She's endangering all of us, _and _her own son! Of all the stupid—"

"Hey, don't be so hard on her," Atton protested gently, surprised at his own words. "She didn't know. She probably figured we couldn't well just show up here unannounced."

Jena stared at her former padawan. "You're… you're kidding. Are you actually defending her actions, _while_ you're still in the process of dealing with their repercussions? _You_?"

Atton's face grew red. _She's right. What the hell is wrong with you? You're defending Revan to _Jena

"I'm just… I just meant…" he stuttered, desperately trying to backpedal. The ship shuddered again from having taken another hit. Jena leapt to the copilot seat, buckled herself in, and consulted the monitor in front of her. She started pushing some buttons and focused her attention on the console.

"Never mind that," she snapped. "I'm going to work on keeping our shields up. They've taken three hits already. The next hit is bound to take them out for sure if we don't try to maintain them. I'm going to shut down some of the less necessary procedures so I can harness their power to restore the shields." She picked up her comlink. "Bao-Dur? Bao-Dur! Come in! We're under attack. We _need_ to shut down all unnecessary procedures. We're going to need all the power we can get to keep those shields up."

"Roger, General," her comlink responded. "I can take the hyperdrive offline, if you deem it necessary."

Jena and Atton exchanged glances. "Do it," Jena ordered. "We probably have a better chance at escaping them if we land than if we try a jump anyway. Besides, it's not like we have anywhere else to go but here."

"Roger, General," Bao-Dur repeated. "I'll get right on it."

Atton gritted his teeth and was thankful he had worn his piloting gloves. The controls were a lot less likely to slip out of his hands than if he wasn't… and the way his palms were sweating, the odds of ungloved hands slipping were quite high. He avoided a few more blasts, took a deep breath, and maneuvered the ship in such a way that they were now racing headlong toward the enemy ship.

"What are you _doing_?" Jena and Revan—through Atton's comlink—both cried.

"Trust me," Atton commented casually, his eyes focused on the ship straight ahead. "The Republic didn't keep me on as a pilot during the Mandalorian Wars for nothing."

"That's true," Revan conceded. "I'd heard your name mentioned… and if I heard about you, it's because you were good. But even so, Jaq… what _are_ you doing?"

"I told you earlier, Rev! I'm trying to sneak up behind them."

There was a pregnant pause at the other end of the comlink. "Yes, but… are you planning on flying _through_ them? You're headed in a straight line! You look like you're aiming point-blank for their cockpit."

"That's because I am," Atton grinned. "I told you to trust me. Leave the piloting to me, and just worry about shooting at them. Be ready to fire when I tell you to."

"O… kay…" Revan said hesitantly, wondering if maybe she should have asked Carth to take over piloting.

"Don't worry!" Atton assured. "Jena here could tell you how I flew us out of an asteroid field when we left Peragus." He winked at his copilot. "Couldn't you, Jens?" As an afterthought, he added, "Oh… and you might want to tell the others to buckle down. This could get rough."

Jena shot a worried glance at Atton. Sure, she had once witnessed him escape an asteroid field, but that was a couple years ago… Just how much piloting had he had the opportunity to do while she was away? _Real_ piloting, that was, not just lifting off and landing? She had an inkling that he had not had much practice while helping out the Ithorians. She knew he had successfully crash landed onto Myrkr without harming anybody on board… but he had, in fact, _crash_ landed the ship. Doing her best not to let worry get to her, she spoke a few words of caution into her comlink and directed her attention back to restoring the shields. Bao-Dur had been doing his homework—there was enough power available to restore the shields almost fully. She raised her head. The Sith ship's cockpit was dead ahead. Her eyes popped open wide just as she heard Atton yell, "FIRE!" The _Ebon Hawk_ suddenly dove down underneath the enemy ship and reemerged on the other side. Atton promptly pulled a one-eighty and yelled "Fire!" again. "Fire!" he repeated. "Go nuts, Rev! Take those schuttas down!"

On cue, dozens of blaster bolds started raining down on the small Sith ship. The latter began turning around to face the _Ebon Hawk_, but it was too late. The hull damage it had taken was too great, and the ship blew up. Atton whooped victoriously. "All right!" he shouted. "Now _this_ is piloting!"

Jena smiled nervously, her eyes still widened by fear. "You're… insane," she finally breathed. "Completely, entirely, insane."

Atton grinned. "You betcha." He grabbed his comlink, set it to the common frequency, and announced proudly, "Atton all passengers, this is your pilot speaking. The Sith are gone. I repeat, the enemy ship has been blown to smithereens. I would like to thank our resident Sith lord, sitting in our gun turret, for some of the sickest shooting I've seen in a while." He threw his comlink down and exhaled contentedly. Jena unbuckled her seatbelt, stood up, tousled Atton's hair a bit and said distantly, "Good going," right before exiting the cockpit.

Atton, the adrenaline still flowing, barely noticed her leaving at all.

* * *

"Unidentified vessel—you are approaching the galactic capital Coruscant. Please identify yourself, and state your business." 

Atton groaned and reached for the communicator. He hated having to deal with spaceport authorities… though that was mainly an aftereffect of his days as a smuggler.

"This is Atton Rand, pilot of the _Ebon Hawk_. We are here to meet with the Jedi Council."

"'Pilot', you say? Are you also the captain of this ship?"

"Ye—" Atton stopped short and frowned. Pursing his lips, he continued a little bitterly, "I mean, no. I suppose that would be Liah Stari. It's my understanding the Council is expecting us."

"Indeed it is. We have been notified of your upcoming arrival. Very well, pilot Rand. Please make your way to docking bay G-102. And welcome to Coruscant."

Atton steered the ship toward the landing pad, grumbling to himself something to the effect of there needing to be a galactic law requiring so-called ship captains to pilot their own ships if they were going to continue calling the shots. He began landing procedures and gently touched down. He smiled in a self-satisfied manner over his perfect landing, regretting that for once he was alone in the cockpit and that he had no one to gloat to. He certainly would have like to, after all the comments the crew had made about his infamous crash landings. Well, at least at this point they knew he could fly. It would have been hard not to recognize that after the stunt he had pulled with the Sith ship.

Having turned the engines off, he got up and headed to the main hold, where he assumed everyone else would be. He had been right—the entire crew of the _Ebon Hawk_, including Mical, Bao-Dur and the elusive droids, had found its way to the main hold… but it was not so they could all have one last fond farewell before they all likely parted ways. Indeed, as Atton walked down the corridor and got closer to them, he realized that someone was shouting.

"But you could've gotten us all killed!" Jena cried.

"I'm sorry!" Revan protested. "How was I supposed to know they'd be tracking us like this?"

Atton furtively stepped into the room and walked over to Dustil, who stood nearby. "What… uh… What's going on?" he asked the young man in a low voice.

"Catfight," Dustil whispered back. "I'd watch out if I were you… considering who's involved in the argument, your name's _bound_ to come up at some point."

"But I didn't _do_ anything!" Atton argued under his breath.

"I don't think that'll make a difference," Dustil breathed.

"Did the fact," Jena shouted, "that I had been hiding out on Myrkr… on _Myrkr_… for a month with Daynn just so the Sith couldn't track us down not ring any bells? Of _course_ they're tracking us! They've been tracking me since I left the Unknown Regions! And of _course_ they would know we'd end up on Coruscant sooner or later. I can't believe you of all people didn't think of that! You should know how they work… You _are_ a Sith, for Force's sake!"

A small gasp was heard throughout the room, and everyone waited apprehensively for Revan's reaction. It came—very slowly. Her nostrils flared and she turned white.

"I know you're upset," Revan said through her teeth, swallowing some harsher comments that came to mind, "and probably mainly because Daynn was in danger, so I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"Why not?" Jena said derisively, sneering. "You've lived the rest of your life in denial. What's one more thing?"

Atton's eyes opened wide. _Oh no,_ he thought desperately. _This is going to get ugly._

Revan glared at Jena. "Denial? _Denial_? That's rich coming from someone who ran away for ten years to forget about 'the horrors of war', instead of fighting like the rest of us."

_Well, _that_ can of worms is open wide…_

"You're kidding, right? _You're_ the one who started the Civil War in the first place!"

"Girls, _please_!" Carth interjected, stepping in between the two.

"Shut up, Carth!" Revan snapped. "Stay out of this."

"Don't start taking this out on _him_!" Jena snarled.

Revan raised an eyebrow. "Who are you now, Carth's little protector?" she asked nastily.

Jena narrowed her eyes. "Well, _one_ of us has to be, and it's apparently not going to be _you_… not after the way you've been treating—"

"ALL RIGHT!" Atton shouted, joining Carth by stepping in between the two women. "I think you both need to take a bit of a breather. Come on…" He hesitated and his eyes traveled from one woman to the other. "Jena, let's go to another room for a bit, and…"

"That won't be necessary, Jaq," Revan said briefly. "I'm on my way to go meet Bastila." She spun around on her heels and stalked off, quickly followed by Carth.

Jena bit her lip and, looking genuinely sorry, also turned around and walked out of the room, in the opposite direction. Atton ran off, trying to catch up to her. He called out after her just as she was about to disappear into their dormitory. She stopped, sighed, and turned around. Before she could say anything, Atton put his arms around her and held her for a few minutes, until her breathing, which was rapid and irregular, became normal again. She then backed away from him slowly. "Atton," she scolded, "you shouldn't be… You should follow Revan. Go meet Bastila. I'm sure she'll want to see you, now that she's heard about Daynn…"

"I'm not going anywhere when you're this upset," he replied obstinately, grabbing on to her hand.

"I'm fine," Jena assured, shaking her head weakly, pulling her hand away. "There's nothing to discuss. I'm just being moody… I lost my temper. I don't know what came over me. I should… meditate, or something. Go. The Council is waiting for you."

"Jena, I don't want—"

"Just go," she insisted. "I'll be here when you come back."

A discreet cough coming from a few meters away startled Atton and Jena. Carth was leaning up against the wall, looking at them. "Actually, the Council is waiting for _you_, Jena," he said. "Liah told me they want to see both Daynn and _you_. They might want to meet Atton later on, but right now, it's you they want to see. Liah's waiting outside for you."

Atton's cheeks turned crimson, and he started to respond harshly, "Yeah? Well, '_Liah_' can to go h—", but Jena promptly covered his mouth with her hand and said, "Very well, I'll meet with them."

"Jena!" Atton protested as he pulled her hand away from his mouth. "Don't you remember what happened _last_ time you met the Council?"

"Hard to forget. But I'm not about to snub the Council because of the way a few of its former members treated me… I don't feel _this_ Council is after me specifically this time. They only want to meet Revan and I so we can fill them in about what's going on in the Unknown Regions."

"How can you say that? You don't know that! Last time you thought they were going to help you, but all they were going to do was cut you off from—"

"I'll be fine!" she interrupted. "I'm fine. I've got nothing to fear. I can feel it."

Atton insisted obstinately. "But last time…"

Jena shook her head. "Last time, Master Vrook was there, and… well… he always despised me. Even before I defied him by going off to fight the Mandalorians." Atton looked skeptical, and Jena continued, "As for Kavar and Master Zez-Kai Ell… well, I don't know why they turned on me, when they both seemed to side with me when I met them individually, but I suspect Vrook had something to do with it. But that was then, and this is now. This is a new Council. I've been helping Revan fight the Sith… I'm sure she's put in a good word for me. Besides… this meeting isn't really about me; it's about your son."

Atton sighed resignedly. "All right," he said reluctantly. "You can go… as long as I get to go in with you. I'm not letting anything happen to you this time."

Jena smiled a little. "And what do you suppose one single padawan could do against a room full of Jedi masters?"

"I don't know, but if they're going to harm you in any way, they're going to have to go through me first," he said stubbornly.

Jena chuckled faintly. "You're so cute," she replied before planting a light kiss on the spot between his cheek and the left corner of his mouth, and walking away.

Atton raised an eyebrow and shouted after her. "You're damn right, I am! And you best remember it!" He briefly shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip. He realized this way the first time in days that Jena's lips touched him… since they left Myrkr, in fact. He had forgotten how good it felt. He started wondering what life would be like if he lost Jena for good, and the thought frightened him. _I'd be lost without her. I'm not letting Revan or any other Jedi screw this up for me. _

Atton quietly followed Jena off the ship, where the rest of the crew waited. The moment Jena's eyes met Revan's, both women colored slightly and glanced away. Jena took a deep breath and walked over to her, leaving the others behind, just out of earshot. Atton eyed them apprehensively for a moment, as Jena appeared to speak animatedly, but he quickly realized they were talking more rationally than before. He breathed easier when he saw Revan hug Jena.

"Well, I guess that's that," Dustil commented to him. "Damn women. You never know how they're going to react. One second they're practically killing each other, and now they're hugging. Well, as long as they stopped fighting over you, that's all I care about."

Atton frowned. "Over me? What are you talking about? They weren't fighting over me! They were fighting because Rev helped the Sith track us down."

Dustil rolled his eyes. "Are you _honestly_ this dense? That's not what that was about. Jena's just noticing that little thing between you and Revan."

"There's _nothing_ between me and Revan," Atton hissed.

Dustil shrugged. "Whatever you say. Watching the two of you, I'd say otherwise. Which reminds me... Stay the hell away from her. My dad's already lost my mom, he doesn't need to lose _her_ too."

"But..." Atton vociferated. "That's all I want! To get away from her!"

"Look, I'm not saying you're actively trying to steal her away from my dad... It's just..." Dustil glanced over at Carth, who was intently watching Jena and Revan talk. "Just stay away from her, all right?"

Atton raised an eyebrow. "I can't believe we're having this conversation. Are you actually _threatening_ me?"

Dustil sighed. "I'm not threatening you, Atton. I'm _asking_ you. Nicely. As a friend."

"Well, don't worry about it. I don't intend to spend any more time with your stepmom than I have to. As soon as we're done with whatever it is we're going to be doing here, I'm grabbing Jena and we're getting out of here."

_If she'll let me..._

Atton glanced uncomfortably at the two women, who were still in deep conversation. "Er... what do you think they're talking about for so long?"

Dustil smirked. "Worried, are you? Well, you're the one with the Force bond with Jena... can't you try to read her mind or something?"

Atton stared at Dustil. "You know, kid, you're smarter than you look."

Dustil rolled his eyes. "Thanks."

Atton looked intently at Jena, and remembered one of the lessons she taught him: how to listen with the Force. He felt a slight pang of guilt over using something she taught him to eavesdrop on her conversation, but rationalized that this was the only way he could know what Jena was really thinking. He closed his eyes and tried to reach Jena's mind... He found it very easy to read, as she clearly was making no conscious effort to conceal it. He slowly opened his eyes and managed to follow one half of the conversation between the two women.

_"But don't you see?"_ Jena was saying. _"He didn't fall because I was a poor teacher... he fell _because_ of me. He fell because of the way he feels about me. How can I forget that? It was my fault! I can never forgive myself! I can't stop thinking about it! The whole thing is making me sick!"_

Atton frowned. _Is she talking about... Mical? To think I was worried they were talking about me..._

Jena continued, _"And what about Atton? What if the same thing happened to him? I don't even want to think of how he'd react... and what he'd do... if the Council _did_ try to harm me. You _know_ how unpredictable he can be."_

_Ah... so _now_ they're talking about me..._ Atton squinted to try and make out Revan's response through her body language. She folded her arms and smiled smugly... and whatever it was she said, it ended with her laughing. Atton felt a sudden wave of bitterness come over him.

_"Of course not,"_ Jena said._ "You wouldn't want him to know how you feel about him." _

Revan drew back slightly and muttered a quick response.

_"Of course you know what I'm talking about,"_ Jena replied._ "You know _exactly_ what I mean. I'm not blind, you know." _

Atton shuddered. That feeling that came over him... where did it come from? Was it... jealousy? He frowned. It was very faint, but it was definitely jealousy. And there was something else... He felt... hurt. He realized that the emotions he had been experiencing were in fact the ones Jena was feeling and transmitting through their bond. His heart sank. _She's hurt... I'm hurting her without even trying. Mical had been right. Dammit! And if she's feeling this way... Force, I don't want _her_ falling to the Dark side!_

_"I know he does,"_ Jena said in response to another comment Revan made. _"I just wish he'd forget that he also once loved _you

Jena's words... and the feeling that accompanied them... made Atton wince. He focused his mind on something else, just so he could stop hearing her thoughts. He looked over his left shoulder and he noticed Mical staring at him. The young Jedi seemed amused. "It certainly is taking them some time..." he drawled. "I wonder what they could possibly be talking about." Mical flashed Atton a knowing smirk. _He knows... he knows I've been listening in._

"Can't imagine," Atton replied shortly. "You know women. Now that they've clearly made up, they're probably talking about shoes."

Mical's smug smile grew wider. "Yes... shoes... That must be it, of course. I can't imagine any _other_ topics of interest that they could come up with," he said innocently.

Atton shot Mical a dark look. "Shouldn't you be repeating your Jedi code in your mind or something? You seem to be enjoying this a little too much. Doesn't this fall under '_There is no emotion_'?"

Mical shrugged. "Hey, don't take it out on _me_. I tried to warn you this would happen. I tried to help you. But, as usual, you wouldn't listen, and now the two women in your life are exchanging notes... and it's very likely you'll end up losing both."

"I don't _want_ both," Atton hissed dangerously. "I only want Jena. I _love_ her. I'm sure that if nothing else, you can relate to _that_."

"You're trying to anger me... to distract yourself from the possibility that Jena might leave you. It won't work, you know. I'm not losing my temper with you... nor will you be able to forget the conversation you were so shamelessly listening to just now."

"How do you even know that's what I was doing?"

"I know you better than you think, Atton. But enough of that... here comes Liah now. I'm sure she'll have some interesting things to discuss."

Atton glared at Mical, and saw Revan and Jena walking back toward them. He also noticed, at the other end of the platform, a few robed beings heading toward the _Hawk_ as well. Revan, with Jena in tow, arrived back at the _Ebon Hawk_ and gathered the crew up.

"That's Bastila out there in the front," Revan said, jerking her thumb back to designate the brunette who led the group that was headed in their direction. "Jaq, I want you to try and not talk to her too much. She can be a little… irritating."

"What, more than you?" Atton asked flippantly.

Revan ignored his comment and merely said, "I just don't want she and you to start fighting, like I have a feeling you're going to. Just let me do the talking, and everything will be fine."

"I'll be the judge of that," Atton grumbled under his breath.

The young woman, accompanied by what appeared to be two Jedi, one male Twi'lek and one female Bothan, walked over to greet the crew of the _Ebon Hawk_. Daynn, who had started walking toward Jena, saw the newcomers and quickly hid behind HK-47, who looked as surprised and uncomfortable as an assassin protocol droid could.

"Dismayed statement: Please remove yourself from behind me, small meatbag. I've seen what you are capable of doing, and knowing you are standing behind me unchaperoned is causing me… distress."

Atton, overhearing HK-47's comment, called out to Daynn. "Hey, kid! Get away from there. Let's not make the trigger-happy homicidal droid nervous, shall we?" He waved Daynn over, and the latter slowly came out from behind the tall droid, and shuffled over to his father. "And stay here," Atton muttered. "We don't want to cause any more trouble than what I'm guessing we'll be getting into."

"Why do you think we'll get into trouble?" the youth inquired.

"Experience. Ever since I met your mother, I've had nothing but trouble."

Daynn burst out laughing, and Atton, who was surprised and secretly pleased that he managed to make him laugh, smirked and glanced quickly at Revan to gage her reaction. She was doing her best to ignore him, and walked over to Bastila to greet her.

"Revan!" Bastila purred, trying to conceal a smile, and held out her arms. Revan met Bastila with a fierce hug.

After a moment, Bastila backed away from Revan and looked at the rest of the group. "And how are you, Carth? …Dustil? … Mical?" she grinned.

"Lovely to see you again, Master Shand," Mical said smoothly, bowing slightly. Bastila beamed at him and bowed back.

_There he goes, sucking up to the attractive females again… Though I guess this one already knows him… and she _likes _him? I knew there was a reason I should hate her... other than the fact that she's a condescending, pretentious schutta. _

Bastila's gaze traveled across the other faces. "I'm sorry, I don't think I have met the rest of you…" Her eyes rested on Atton's face and she smiled condescendingly. "Except for _you_, I suppose."

Atton's eyes narrowed, and he started to truly wonder what that woman had against him. "Yes, except for _me_," he said unpleasantly. _Pretentious schutta! __Pretentious schutta!_ His lips tightened, and he inadvertently took a small step in front of Daynn, providing the child cover from Bastila's inquisitive stare.

Revan quickly stepped in and introduced the rest of the group—Jena, Mira, Bao-Dur, and finally, Daynn—to Bastila. "Nice to meet you all," the latter said, her keen eye promptly noticing that both Mira and Bao-Dur also carried lightsabers. Her eyes then rested briefly on Daynn, darted toward Atton, and she shook her head lightly. If she had harbored any hope that Atton wasn't really Daynn's father, that hope was now quashed. She smiled at Daynn, but the latter disappeared completely behind Atton's back. Bastila shrugged and said, "If you'll follow me, I will show you where you will be residing during your stay on Coruscant." She motioned to them and started walking back toward the direction she had come from. Revan caught up to her and walked alongside her. "The Council wishes to meet with you and the Exile," Bastila told Revan in hushed tones. "As well as with your son."

"Did they want to meet with any of the others too? And by that, I mean Jaq… er… Atton."

Bastila glanced over the shoulder at the man who had started to broodingly follow them, and who eyed her suspiciously. "I don't think that will be necessary. This Jaq or Atton or whatever his name may be doesn't seem to be playing a big role in all this. Indeed, from what I can gather, his only role in this entire matter was to first father your child, and then accompany you as you searched for said child years later. The main thing the Council is concerned with is knowing what is going on in the Unknown Regions, and why the Sith are so determined to find your son. I will show your friends to the apartments they will occupy during their stay here, and then you, the Exile and Daynn can accompany me to meet with the Council."

Catching Bastila's last sentence, Atton piped up. "And _me_. I'm going along with them to see the Council."

Bastila, not bothering to slow down or turn around, replied, "While I don't doubt the Council will want to meet every single one of you rogue Jedi at some point, it has not expressed a wish to do so quite yet. So I'm afraid you'll not be accompanying them."

"Oh, I'm afraid I _will_ be accompanying them," Atton insisted hotly. "Jena's not going anywhere _near_ those damn Jedi without me. Don't think I've forgotten what your _Council_ tried to do to her last time… fracking bishwags!"

Bastila did then stop and turned to face Atton. "Aren't _you_ a Jedi?" she asked coldly.

"What's your point?"

"My _point_ is I just find your choice of adjectives to describe the Jedi a tad puzzling, considering you_ are_ one. Why did you become a Jedi if you dislike them so much?"

"Jena needed the help. How's this any of your business, anyway?"

"It's my business as I am a part of the Jedi Council, and the Council never was even aware of your existence, much less of the fact that you were trained as a Jedi," she snapped.

"So what?"

Bastila stared at Atton in disbelief. "So," she said, "the Council was supposed to be notified of your master's intention to train you, at the very least, and you never should have undergone your training without its approval."

"Your Council," Atton snarled, "tried to cut Jena off from the Force for no apparent reason, even though she was trying to _help_ it. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not exactly happy about the idea of her going off to meet them without me _again_. Not to mention the fact that I'm not exactly ecstatic about them meeting with my son alone either, though I don't suppose Revan will let you do anything to _him_ if she's there. I know what you people do… Whenever someone does something against your wishes, you step in and do things like… erasing someone's memory and giving them a new one. Sound familiar? But when people's lives are actually in danger… when millions of people die and beg for your help… all you're good for is sitting around and discussing the situation."

Bastila drew her head up and replied disdainfully, "I was not part of the Jedi Council during the Mandalorian Wars. I had no say about whether or not the Jedi would fight."

"Maybe you didn't… But you still didn't _go_, did you? Revan and Jena here, _they_ went. They went off to war to protect the Republic. But _you_ didn't. You stayed behind in your comfortable, safe enclave while millions of people died. You didn't start fighting until your own life was in danger, after some of the Jedi turned on you."

"Revan," Bastila said stiffly, "went to war, and look at what happened to her. She fell to the Dark side and tried to take over the galaxy. And as for the Exile, it's my understanding she also fell, but simply chose to hide in the Outer Rims rather than join Revan after she was cast out of the Order… though I can't understand why."

"Jena never fell to the Dark side!" Atton exclaimed angrily. "And that's more than _you_ can say about yourself, little miss perfect! Don't think I can't feel the taint of the Dark side in you! I was around enough Dark Jedi during the Civil War to know what it does to a person… even after they've redeemed themselves."

Bastila glared at Atton and snapped. "Ah yes… the Civil War… I guess you would know a thing or two about _that_. I wonder what the Council would say if it knew a former Jedi Assassin is now running around in robes and a lightsaber, calling himself a Jedi, but sneering at everything a Jedi stands for."

"Fine!" Atton shouted, removing his cloak and hurling it to the ground. "I don't need your stinkin' robes and lightsabers! If I have to be a snooty, hypocritical schutta like you to earn the right to carry them, _I don't want them_."

"Atton!" Jena cried, wondering why she had waited that long to interrupt this argument that was going from bad to worse. Both Atton and Bastila stopped arguing and turned to look at her. Her face was white. She walked up to him, picked up the discarded cloak, stuffed it back into his arms and said, very quietly, "Atton, I think you should definitely _not_ come with us when we meet with the Council." He opened his mouth to protest, but Jena silenced him with a gesture. "_Please_, Atton. Nothing bad will happen to me this time. I don't want you to start an open feud with the Council."

Bastila opened her mouth to interject that she felt it might be too late to prevent that, but changed her mind and instead muttered something under her breath. Atton smirked. _'There is no emotion, there is peace'? Repeating her Jedi code, just like Mical. I didn't realize anybody other than him actually did that of their own volition._

Noticing that nobody said anything else, Jena promptly added, "Just… stay behind in the apartment while I go meet with the Council. It won't be too long, I'm sure."

_Apartment… well, I guess it's not so bad… wouldn't hurt for me and Jena to finally spend some time alone after having had to share a room with all these other people. Kind of nice of the Jedi to…_

He frowned.

"Wait a minute… we _are_ going to be in the same room, right?" Atton asked Jena.

Jena opened her mouth to respond affirmatively, but stopped. "I… don't know," she replied.

Bastila, overhearing them, smugly replied, "Well, the Council wasn't exactly expecting two Jedi to be shacking up together in the enclave…"

"Oh, this is ronto skrag," Atton interjected. "You're telling me I just traveled through the entire galaxy for weeks to find her, only to have some holier-than-thou Council tell me I can't even share a _room_ with her?"

Bastila rolled her eyes. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the Council wasn't expecting this, especially not from two so-called Jedi, but as you are, in fact, our guests, we are not going to impose any rules on you. You can share a room with whomever you wish. Don't let me or the Jedi Code stop you."

"Bast…" Revan growled warningly.

Bastila shrugged. "Come, now," she told Revan and Jena. "The Council is waiting for you." Accordingly, the group started walking again. Bastila then added sarcastically under her breath, so only Revan could hear, "Charming. Definitely charming. I can absolutely see what you saw in him." She glanced back at the glowering robed figure behind her and said, "Honestly, Revan, I think your standards were a bit low, even for a Sith lord."

Revan could not repress a smirk.


	24. The Rogue and the Council

**Chapter 24 – The Rogue and the Council **

"And finally, this is where _you'll_ be staying…" Bastila glanced behind her, and added with cold emphasis, "_Atton_."

She opened the door and revealed a large sitting room, complete with holovid player, with doors assumedly leading to a bedroom and the refresher. Atton stepped inside and turned around to look at Bastila, who was alone in the corridor. When the group had arrived to the area where it would be staying, a hovering droid with the designation number DK-90 inscribed into its chest plate was waiting for Revan and Jena to arrive, and had promptly asked them to follow it to the Jedi Council Chamber while Bastila showed everyone else to their respective rooms. Bastila had thanked the droid, which she called "Deek", and told it to inform the Council that she would be along shortly. The droid's left photoreceptor had flickered slightly as it grumbled sarcastically to itself something about being "always happy to serve"; it then floated away, barely waiting for Jena and Revan, who carried Daynn in her arms, to catch up to it. Bastila had frowned and muttered something to the effect of the droid being overdue for a mind-wipe, and then proceeded to show everyone else to his or her room. She now found herself alone with Atton and, determined to get this unpleasant task out of the way, promptly showed him where he would stay.

"Where _I'll_ be staying, huh?" he asked.

Bastila rolled her eyes. "You and the Exile, of course." She shook her head. "Honestly, I don't understand this obsession with sharing a room together. I can't imagine the two of you being on Coruscant for very long… Why couldn't you just sleep separately for a few nights and not have to explain to the Council the nature of your relationship? Surely you had to expect it would be a problem…"

Atton grinned mischievously. "Why, Bastila, are you telling me I should have _lied_ to the Jedi Council?"

"Hardly," she scoffed. "I'm simply wondering why you didn't. You strike me as the type who generally doesn't have any qualms about lying to get out of trouble."

"Well, thank you, your highness," Atton replied smoothly. "That's the best compliment I've gotten in a long time."

Bastila sighed. "Look, I reckon we got off on the wrong foot…"

Atton arched his eyebrows. "And whose fault is _that_?"

Bastila sighed again. "Mine, I suppose… although you're certainly not helping. I just have a hard time grasping the concept that Revan had a son with one of her troops… a Jedi Assassin, no less… and failed to _tell_ me."

Atton laughed. "No, I don't think that's it. You're just upset that your _friend_ actually lowered herself to sleep with a guy like me."

"But that's not it at all!" Bastila protested vehemently. "I was just upset that—"

Atton raised a deprecating hand. "Don't bother. I know your type. I've spent most of my adult life _avoiding_ your type."

Bastila drew herself up. "Oh? And what 'type' is that?" she demanded.

"The type that thinks they're better than everyone else."

"I DO NOT THINK…" Bastila began to shout, but stopped. She took a deep breath, composed herself, and said in a much calmer tone, "I do not think I'm better than everyone else."

"Could've fooled me."

Bastila exhaled deeply and Atton could have sworn he heard her mutter, "There is no emotion; there is peace" as she did so. She looked up at him, smiled wryly and said, "I apologize if I led you to think otherwise. You have to understand where I'm coming from… Not only am I informed that Revan has a child, but I also find that the child's father is a rogue Jedi, and that she…" Bastila hesitated, looked behind her and pushed Atton into the room, closing the door behind her. "Well, I think it's pretty obvious the way she felt about you in the past…" She glanced suspiciously at him. "Assuming it's all in the past…"

Atton burst into peals of laughter. "Oh, so _that's_ what this is about! You're worried I'm trying to steal Revan away from Carth." Bastila pursed her lips and simply glared at Atton. "I'm right, aren't I?" Atton asked. "Well, you can relax and start being nice to me for a change, assuming you have it in you, because there's no way I'm leaving Jena."

Bastila looked somewhat relieved and tried to conceal a smile. "Is that so? Well, at least we have _that_ figured out…"

"Look at you," Atton mocked. "I can't believe you were being a complete schutta to me because you thought I was trying to steal your friend away from Carth. And here I was thinking you were just naturally that way."

Bastila shot him a dark look. "Your manners certainly could use a bit of work. I can't say I understand why the Exile puts up with you."

"She has a name, you know," Atton snarled. "It's Jena. JAY-NA. It's really not that hard: same amount of syllables as "exile". Even _you_ should be able to pull it off."

"The Council is waiting for me," Bastila said primly, ignoring his comment altogether. "I should go."

She spun around on her heels, opened the door and disappeared down the hall. Atton sighed and closed the door again. He shuffled over to the window and peered outside. The city stretched out as far as he could see. Glancing down, he attempted to determine where the tower in front of him started, but its base was hidden in the shadows. He started to wonder if anyone lived on the ground floor, and if so, whether they were ever able to see natural light. _This place is just like Nar Shaddaa, only even bigger… and cleaner… and it definitely doesn't smell as bad. A lot more Jedi, though… and that weird floating droid that was here earlier just creeps me out. So twitchy. Well, at least the odds of getting shot by a stray blaster bolt on the way to the cantina are probably a lot lower here than there. Mmmh… cantina… I wonder where…_ He shook his head. _No, I can't go yet… Gotta wait here for Jena to come back. And then maybe I can go… and maybe I can convince her to come out with me. Could happen._

He stared outside, though at nothing in particular. A few speeders flew by, and he eyed them distractedly until they disappeared out of sight. He was reminded of his arrival at Citadel Station, when he, Jena, and Kreia were under house arrest in that little one-room apartment. He remembered looking out the window in a similar fashion as Jena slept, after he and Kreia had spent a few minutes discussing her, until the old woman had ordered the conversation over. He had then moved his gaze from the passing speeders, and rested his eyes lingeringly on the sleeping Jedi exile, wondering if she truly was as helpless without the Force as Kreia had claimed. Glancing at her peaceful features, he realized that Kreia might be right… that she would need all the help she could get to… to do whatever it was she was going to do. He had felt drawn to her and inexplicably compelled to help her, ever since that time when they were attempting to escape the _Harbinger_ through the fuel lines.

He realized that when he first met Jena, he had simply put up with her and used her for his own benefit. She was the means to an end: escaping Peragus alive. The fact that she showed up in his holding cell in her underwear—ugly underwear, but underwear nonetheless—was just a bonus, and it made putting up with her a lot easier. Sure, he had been attracted to her from the moment she walked through the door—who wouldn't have been? And while he had been very grateful that the Jedi he had heard the miners mention a few times turned out to be female, what he had felt for her could hardly have been described as love at first sight. He had found her to be rather irritating... and definitely heedless. It was all well and good for her to risk her life by going down the mining tunnels on Peragus, but had she died there, he wouldn't have been able to get off the mining facility at all, and _that_ was something with which he definitely did not agree. The idea of having escaped the wrath of Revan, only to die among malfunctioning droids, without even getting a final meal, drink, game of pazaak, or without any kind of physical contact with a member of the opposite sex, had not particularly appealed to him. And while he spent much of his time on the administration level, as he waited for Jena to emerge from the mining tunnels, fantasizing about escaping the facility aboard some space ship with a _very_ grateful Jena, he still wasn't that particularly fond of her… until, that is, they reached the _Harbinger_ with Kreia.

Atton hadn't exactly been lamenting the fact that Kreia had told him and Jena to run along without her while she faced that… _thing_ that looked like a walking, rotting corpse. And he had followed Jena without any complaints, as she seemingly knew what she was doing… and the faster they got off that ship, the faster they got away from 'sleeps-with-vibroblades'. But when Jena told him they would have to go through the fuel lines to escape, he put his foot down. He wanted off the ship, yes, but in _one_ piece. But then Jena had taken hold of his hand, pulled him toward her and beseechingly asked him to trust her. The unexpected physical contact had made him blush—made _him_ blush. The man who routinely had Twi'lek dancers sitting in his lap, the man who had spent his _entire_ last pay credchip in the Nar Shaddaa red sector, blushed like a schoolgirl when this ex-Jedi dressed in a miner's uniform grabbed his _hand_. He had looked into her eyes and found that, despite the fact he could not remember the last time he trusted anyone but himself, he trusted _her_. However, almost immediately after that thought came to Atton's mind, Jena had let go of his hand and doubled over in pain, holding her left wrist. A wave of panic swept over him. What had happened? What was wrong? What was hurting her? He had suddenly felt the urge to put his arm around her and to somehow make the pain go away. That urge alone had worried him. He had never reacted that way for anyone, least of all a _Jedi_. A Jedi he had practically just met, no less. But since stopping for any reason wasn't much of an option at that moment, he instead told her to hang on and that they were almost there. He clasped her right hand and took command, forcing her to follow him down the fuel lines. That was the moment he realized he cared about her, and, after seeing the fear, the confusion, and the raw pain in her eyes, and he had sworn to himself then and there that he would never, ever let anything or anyone hurt her.

And here he was, two years later, realizing that he had broken his own promise… and that he himself had hurt her. He gritted his teeth and stared sullenly out the window. He had caused it. The pain he had sensed coming from her when he read her mind was _his_ fault… and it was all because of the way Revan had confused him and resurrected old, long dead emotions. Well, no more. He shook his head and set his teeth. He knew what he needed to do.

A knock at the door jarred him from his thoughts. He turned and walked hurriedly to the door. "Jena?" he asked as he opened the door. His expectant smile vanished. "Oh, it's _you_." A small boy with black hair and hazel eyes looked quizzically up at him.

"Of course, I'm me. Who else would I be?" Daynn asked.

Atton sighed. _Eight years old and already sounding like a damn Jedi. What the hell kind of an eight-year-old asks a question like that?_

"What do you want?" Atton asked brusquely. "Where's Jena? …And your mother?"

Daynn vaguely pointed toward the direction DK-90 had taken him, Jena and Revan earlier. "Still talking to the people in robes in the big room," he said. He cocked his head pensively and added, "They were all sitting except for us. How come?"

Atton shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe they're all really old. How many of them were there?"

Daynn pondered for a moment and silently held up six fingers.

"Six?" Atton asked, incredulously. "I didn't think there were even that many Jedi to throw around, much less six Jedi _masters_. What did they ask you? Why is Jena still there?"

"They asked me some questions about where I came from… about where I was before Jena found me… They asked me some other stuff I didn't understand… But the little green one was nice."

"Little… _green_ one?"

Daynn seemed pensive. "Yeah, green… or… well maybe brown." He shrugged. "He was smaller than me! But he still got to sit on a chair. He has big ear, though, so maybe they're too heavy for him, so he has to sit."

Atton stared at his son in disbelief. "Okay, I'm not even going to _try_ to understand what you're saying." He shook his head. "But what about Jena? What did they say to _Jena_?"

"They didn't say anything. They talked to me for a while, then they told me to wait outside with that flying droid."

Atton frowned. "Then why are you here?"

"It was taking too long!" Daynn whined. "It was boring!"

"So you just… left?"

Daynn nodded.

"But what about that droid? Didn't he tell you to wait there?"

"No-o-o-o…" Daynn said slowly. "I waited in the hall with him for a _really_ long time… He didn't like to talk to me, especially after…" He stopped and looked down.

"Especially after…?" Atton asked apprehensively, knowing that whatever Daynn was about to tell him, he probably didn't want to hear it.

"Especially after that gizka blew up…" Daynn's eyes were solidly fixed onto his shoes, and he started to fidget with his tunic, looking every bit like a tiny version of a nervous Atton.

"You killed a gizka?" Atton asked incredulously.

Daynn's hazel eyes, full of tears, lifted back up toward Atton. "I wasn't _trying_!" he wailed. "I _liked_ him! He was really cute! It was a accident!"

Atton felt a slight pang of guilt and awkwardly said, "No, don't… don't _cry_…" Big tears rolled down the boy's face. "Dammit, Daynn, why do you always do this? What is with you and your mother and crying? Look. I'm sure he was a bad gizka. Maybe he stole all his little gizka friends' lunch credits."

"Really?" Daynn asked hopefully, sniffling.

Atton's face fell. "Are you kidding me?" he asked in disbelief. "Are you really that immune to sarcasm? Are you _sure_ you're _my_ son? Those things don't ever do anything wrong, except breed." He sighed. "Look, maybe it's just as well. You probably prevented the place from being overrun by the damn things. Don't worry about that. We'll teach you to control your… powers or whatever. Now. You killed the gizka, and then what happened?"

Daynn wiped his eyes and sniffed loudly. "Well, I felt bad… So I sat down… and I got bored… so I left."

"And the droid didn't say anything?"

"Yes, he said…" His little brow furrowed. "He said there was no point in telling me to stay, because I wasn't going to anyway. And then his eye flashed funny, and he said he wasn't built to babysit dangerous stray padawans. What's a padawan?"

"You'll probably learn that too soon for my taste, so don't ask," Atton answered darkly. _They're going want to turn my son into one of those cryptic Jedi I hate… and I won't even have a say in it, I'll bet. At least if he was trained the same way Jena trained me, it wouldn't be so bad. But I don't want my son turning out like that Vrook character. Or worse… Mical._ He shuddered.

Daynn, assuming Atton was done questioning him, promptly ran to the window and peered outside. With his face pressed up against the glass, he stared at the air speeders that flew past. Atton looked over to him. "Wait… so what you're saying is, Jena and your mother don't know you're here."

Daynn backed away from the window, the imprint of his mouth and nose remaining on the glass. He seemed unsure. "I… I don't… I don't think so," he stuttered.

Atton suddenly had a mental image of Revan and Jena frantically searching the temple for Daynn. He rolled his eyes. "Didn't we have…? Yes, there _is_ a rule for not wandering off on your own. Daynn?" he asked severely.

The boy's shoulders slouched. "Five," he said in a small voice.

"What was that?" Atton insisted.

"Rule number five: don't wander off on your own," Daynn stated loudly.

"Right. Now come on. We have to go back there, otherwise those two are going to go insane looking for you." Atton walked back to the door. "Come on!" he insisted. The boy exhaled loudly and ran over to him. "I hope you remember how to get there," Atton cautioned as he closed the door behind him. Daynn nodded convincingly and started walking down the hall.

Ten minutes, three staircases and several doors later, Atton enquired skeptically, "Are you _sure_ you remember where this is?"

"Yes, yes!" Daynn assured. He then glanced quizzically at Atton and blurted, "Didn't Jena ever tell you not to read her mind?"

Atton frowned. "What? Where did that come from?"

"Earlier," Daynn insisted. "You were reading her mind. I saw you."

"What, you too?" Atton exploded. "How would you even know this?"

"Because…" Daynn said sheepishly. "I was reading yours." Atton opened his mouth angrily and Daynn quickly added, "I know, I know… rule number one. But you still shouldn't read Jena's mind. You told me not to."

Atton shut his mouth and took a deep breath. _He's right. You know he's right._ He hung his head. "I know. I shouldn't have. I just… needed to know…"

"Jena's sad," Daynn said reproachfully. "You made her sad."

Atton felt an urge to deny Daynn's allegations, but decided that there was no point in trying to hide anything from the mind-reading child. "I know, I know," he groaned. "It's my fault… and Mical's too, but mostly mine." He knelt down, put his hands on the boy's shoulders and said earnestly, "Look… I promise I will make her feel better. I don't like seeing Jena sad any more than you do."

"Promise?" Daynn asked doubtfully.

"Promise."

Daynn smiled. "Good. Cause we're here." He pointed at something down the hall. Atton squinted. It looked like that hovering droid from earlier. Groaning internally, Atton followed Daynn and walked up to it. The droid turned its head and looked at the boy.

"Oh. Great. You're back," it said sarcastically. It glanced up at Atton deprecatingly. "And this unit sees you brought with you a larger version of yourself as well."

Atton looked at the droid with great distaste. "Are Jena and Revan still in there?" he asked it, as he glanced around for traces of the dead gizka. He was however thankful that he failed to find any.

"For the sake of not making this unpleasant conversation last longer than necessary, this unit will assume you are referring to the two organic females that earlier accompanied this shorter male one. If that is indeed the case, then yes, they are still 'in there'."

"Great," Atton said, ignoring the droid's sarcasm. He turned to Daynn and added, "All right, now you'd better stay here this time. Don't wander off. Stay here with this—" He glanced suspiciously at DK-90, who was humming impatiently to itself. "—droid."

"Oh!" the droid responded with false glee, its photoreceptor twitching. "Does this unit get to play babysitter for this… _disturbing_ padawan again?"

Atton narrowed his eyes and looked at the droid even though he was still addressing Daynn. "You know, on second thought, maybe I'll stay here with you till Rev and Jena come out."

"That _would_ be most appreciated, Jim," DK-90 said.

"My name's Atton," the man said, frowning.

The droid, unable to shrug because of its lack of shoulders, still raised all four of its arms to demonstrate its lack of care, turned, and floated away, grumbling to itself. Atton glanced down at Daynn. "Remember when I told you I hated droids, and you asked me why? _That's_ why."

"I like him," Daynn said, smiling. "He's funny."

Atton rolled his eyes. "You would. Anyway, I guess now that that thing is gone, I _have_ to stay here with you… I wonder how much longer it'll—"

The door opened, interrupting Atton's sentence. "Jaq!" Revan exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, yeah… just—next time don't ask a malfunctioning droid to look after your son. You guys all done in there? Is Jena okay?"

"I'm _fine_, Atton," said a voice behind Revan. Jena took a step closer to Atton, coming out from behind Revan.

"Great!" Atton said. "So you're all done. Can we _go_, now?"

Jena and Revan exchanged glances. "Actually, Jaq, the Council wants to speak to you… as well as with Mira, Mical and Bao-Dur."

"Figures," Atton said, rolling his eyes. "When do they want to see me?"

"Well, you're here now, so you might as well go in now, Jaq."

"Er… All right…" Atton said hesitantly. Revan and Jena stepped aside to let Atton through, and Revan started walking down the hall, accompanied by Daynn. Atton pulled Jena to the side of the door, to ensure none of the Council members could see them. "What do they want with me?" he whispered to Jena.

"I don't know," Jena whispered back. "They didn't say. I think they just want to talk to you… they just want to meet those new Jedi they didn't know about."

"But what about Mical? Haven't they already met him?"

"I'm not sure… maybe, but they still want to talk to him. I didn't ask."

"Well, you're no help," Atton said drearily. "What if they decide they don't want me to be a Jedi?"

"I doubt that'll happen, Atton. The Jedi Order needs all the help it can get if we're going to manage to defeat the Sith. As it is, they…" Jena smiled and shook her head. "You shouldn't keep them waiting. I'll tell you later."

"No, what were you gonna say?"

Jena blushed and looked pleased. "They… they revoked my exile status. They've accepted me back into the Order. There's more, but that I _will_ tell you later. Now go." She gave him a gentle nudge toward the door.

"Jena, that's…" Atton began to say, but stopped. _That's… what? That's great? I guess it is… she seems happy… but how do I feel about that? How are things going to change if..._

"I know," Jena said, casually brushing her hand against his cheek. "We'll talk more when you get back. I'll see you back at the room." She rested her hand on his arm, smiled, stood on the tip of her toes and kissed his cheek. She started to back away when Atton grabbed her face with both hands and pressed his lips firmly against hers. Jena surrendered to the kiss for an instant, but then blushed and laughed. "Atton!" she protested in a whisper, squirming away to break free, giggling still. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know," he breathed. "I just… had a bad feeling all of a sudden." He kissed her again. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Jena peered perplexedly into his eyes. "Atton, of course I…"

"No," Atton insisted. "I mean—I love _you_. And nobody else."

Atton stared intently into her eyes. Dawning appeared on Jena's face.

"Are you sure?" she asked slowly.

"Yes," Atton hissed. "Revan… she's… a part of my past. A past I've been trying to forget about since I met you. I may have felt something for her once, but it's nothing—_nothing_—compared to what I feel for you."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Jena wondered. "And how did you know…?" She squinted and looked into his eyes, which shifted guiltily. "You were reading my mind… weren't you. I haven't been shielding my thoughts since we left Myrkr, because I lost the habit, since I didn't need to do it over there."

Atton's eyes wavered and dropped. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have. I just… needed to know… There was… like a wall between us… and you were so miserable… and I just felt…" He clenched his teeth.

"Don't," Jena whispered. "It's my fault. I've barely spent any time with you since you found me… and that's just because I've been feeling… guilty… about Mical's fall."

"Oh, come on," Atton protested weakly, not sounding too convinced of his own words. "He didn't _fall_… he just kind of… lost his temper… once…"

"I think we both know it was more than once, Atton," Jena said softly. "And we also both know that he would have killed you if he had been given the chance. He fell… and it was because of the way he felt about me… so I felt I owed him… felt I had to help him turn away from the Dark side." Jena glanced over her shoulder. "But we shouldn't speak of this any more… Go on. They're waiting for you. We'll talk more later."

"But, Jena…"

Jena smiled. "It's all right, Atton. Things will get better. I promise." She started walking away and turned around. "By the way… I love you too," she said, smiling, before turning again.

Atton smiled as he watched her walk away. He took a deep breath. _All right… You can do this… It's just a bunch of Jedi. Nothing you can't handle._

He stepped into the room.

* * *

"Ah, Padawan Rand!" Atton heard a raspy yet squeaky voice call out to him. "Come in!" the friendly voice insisted. "Harm you we will not." 

Atton took another step forward and wondered how anyone knew his name if he hadn't been announced. He looked around the circular room. It was rather dilapidated, much like the rest of the Jedi temple. Atton reflected that the building—and the room—must have been nice before the Jedi started getting killed off. There was a row of chairs all around him. He estimated that there were twelve of them, but only six were occupied. To his right sat the yellowish male Twi'lek he had seen with Bastila on the platform, when she had come to greet them. Next to the Twi'lek was Bastila herself, who was absent-mindedly twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. The female Bothan who had earlier accompanied Bastila and the Twi'lek was nowhere to be found. Atton assumed she had only been a padawan, or perhaps a Jedi Knight… not a master. To Bastila's right was a very short, fuzzy, rodent-like creature with tufted ears and a long snout, entirely covered in blue hair. Atton saw the creature and could not refrain from cringing. He had dealt with Squibs on Nar Shaddaa when he was trying to sell his blasters, and that encounter had led to what was possibly the worst deal he had ever struck. He only hoped that this particular Squib wasn't as ruthless at bargaining; otherwise, Atton might end up volunteering to leave both Jena _and _the Order. A touch more apprehensively, he continued glancing around the room. Next to the Squib, and right in front of Atton, sat a small greenish-brown, wrinkled being with long, pointed ears. It smiled at him. Atton guessed it to be the one who had first addressed him… and likely, the one Daynn had talked about. He tried to identify its species, but he couldn't remember ever hearing about such a creature. He stared at it for a moment, and continued looking around the room. Next in line were a female Cathar, and finally, a Miraluka definitely familiar to Atton.

_Visas! What is she doing here? On the Council, of all places… She can't possibly be a Jedi master!_

For a moment, Atton was almost relieved to see a familiar face among this small crowd of imperturbable Jedi… and then he remembered that he and Visas had never really gotten along very well. In fact, he cringed as he distinctly recalled once telling Visas, shortly after she came aboard the _Ebon Hawk_, to "lay off trying to impress Jena so damn much, you Sithspawn. She's not buying it. And neither am I." Atton glanced nervously at Visas' impassive facial features. _Well, how did she expect me to react? Did she think I'd welcome her with open arms? She tried to kill Jena! _

"Welcome!" the raspy voice spoke again. Atton's gaze reverted to the short alien with the pointed ears. "I am Master Vandar. Atton Rand you are... Jena Shel's padawan... if mistaken I am not?"

"I... Yes," Atton replied when he managed to understand what Master Vandar was telling him. He briefly wondered whether he should correct the Jedi and tell him that Revan was his master now, but he decided against it. _There's not really any point,_ he thought. _I'm sure it's not that relevant._

Master Vandar shifted in his seat. "Wondering how this I know, you are, mmmh?" His eyes were glimmering with amusement. Atton cleared his throat.

"Well, not really... I figured you just invaded my mind, like all the _other_ Jedi do."

A few of the Jedi shot Atton a disapproving look, but Master Vandar simply chuckled. "Fool you, we cannot. Though admit I must... difficult your mind is to read."

"Yeah, so I hear," Atton replied smugly. "And unless you like listening to someone play pazaak, I'd suggest staying out of there. What's in my head is my business... and if you really have to know something, you could always try _asking_, like the rest of us generally do."

Vandar smiled serenely. "Your card trick... Always work, it does not. But know this already you do. For failed it already has when learned your past Kreia did."

Atton smirked and arched an eyebrow. "And apparently it's failing now, too." Master Vandar said nothing, but stared at Atton with an amused look on his face. A few seconds went past, and the six Jedi studied Atton closely, without speaking a word. Atton shifted uncomfortably.

"So..." he began. "Any particular reason you wanted to see me? Or did you just want to make sure I wasn't going to start killing Jedi again?"

There was an uncomfortable movement across the room. All the Jedi turned to each other and exchanged knowing glances. Master Vandar, however, showed no reaction, and continued to study Atton with an amused look.

"So sure you are that, of your past, we know."

Atton scoffed. "Well, it would be kind of pointless to start rooting through my head if you didn't try to scare up some dirt on me. Besides, I kind of figured _she_ told you," he added, jerking his thumb in Bastila's direction. Bastila let go of her hair and sat up straight. The conversation was clearly not going in the direction she was expecting.

"Told us Bastila has not. Nor has Visas, before you ask. However right you are to think that read your secrets I have. Apologize to you, I must. Your card counting trick... confuse me, it did, and made me wonder what hiding you were."

"How did you know I was hiding something?"

"If hiding something you were not, then why concealing your thoughts would you be? Mmmh?"

Atton couldn't repress a grin. "All right, you got me. So then if you weren't worried about me killing Jedi, why did you want to see me?"

Vandar smiled and looked at the other Jedi masters. "Curious, we were to know who worthy of becoming a Jedi, Master Shel deemed."

_Master Shel?_ Atton had to stop and think for a second before he realized that Vandar was referring to Jena. _Master? They made her a _master_? That's... a bit more than just accepting her back into the Order. I wonder why Jena didn't tell me that part. Why isn't she here right now, then? …I guess they didn't want her around while they tore me apart._

Noticing that Atton wasn't saying anything, Vandar added, "Questions for us, surely you must have."

Atton frowned. "You're asking me if _I_ have questions for _you_? You're the one who asked to see me... I'm pretty sure you must have questions for _me_."

"I have a question for him, if I may, Master Vandar," said a voice to Atton's left. He turned and looked at Visas.

"Ah... Jedi Marr. Speak you may."

_"Jedi_?" Atton interrupted. "She's just a Jedi Knight and she's on the Council? I thought only Jedi masters could be Council members."

"An exception, Visas is." Master Vandar's smile faded and his head dropped slightly. "Too few Jedi there now are to fill these seats," he said with sadness in his voice. "Hiding… or dead, most of them are. When destroyed Katarr was, lost were too many of us. Escape, I did. Into hiding I went… for too dangerous for Jedi, the galaxy had become. Dead, I was believed to be. When destroyed Nihilus was, through the Force, we all sensed it. The one to find me, Visas was. Came to me she did after leaving Telos and the _Ebon Hawk_.More training she required. My padawan, she became. Slowly, Jedi gathered here. But too few were the ones who came. All the help we could get, we needed. A Jedi Knight, Visas now is. And so, for all the help she has given us, an unofficial member of the Council, she has become." Vandar looked over to her and bowed slightly, inviting her to speak.

"I was wondering," Visas asked, addressing Atton, "why it is you chose to become a Jedi… other than the fact that Jena asked you, of course. From what I've gathered, you used to _kill_ Jedi?" Atton reflected that if she had eyes, they would likely be glaring at him. He shifted uncomfortably as he realized that Visas was probably the last of his former crewmembers to find out about his past, and she probably didn't like being left out of the loop. He was however still annoyed at the fact that _she_ chose to ask that question. Shouldn't she be on his side? Sure, they didn't always get along, but even so… They both worshipped Jena. That had to count for something.

Atton nostrils flared. "I followed Revan when she waged war against the Mandalorians," he said as primly as he could. "She helped save the Republic, and therefore had my allegiance. When the Jedi Civil War broke out, I followed her. I became a Sith." He pursed his lips and couldn't resist adding, "You know… like _you_ were." Hetook a deep breath and continued. "Revan had me trained to capture Jedi so they could be turned... and those that would not be turned, I had to kill."

There was a murmur that traveled across the room. Atton drew his head up. "But one day I left. A Jedi had found me... and told me I was Force sensitive, and that I was in danger. She said that if Revan suspected I could feel the Force, she would send me away to turn me into a Dark Jedi. She... she sacrificed herself for me."

"Sacrificed herself?" the Squib asked.

Atton hesitated. "I... killed her." He looked away, shamed. There were a few gasps around the room and another murmur. Master Vandar, however remained still, his face impassive. "I _had_ to," Atton continued in a harsh whisper. "If she had been caught... and she likely would have been... they would have turned her... and then they would have learned my secret. She died to protect me. So I could go on and live my life." His voice became normal again. "For a long time, I wondered why she bothered. I didn't think I was worth anything. But when I met Jena, I knew... I knew _she_ was the reason why I had been spared. I had to help her. I had to save her or die trying. And _that's_ why I became a Jedi. To help her... die for her... to try and make up for what I had done."

"And yet you're still alive," the Squib commented curiously.

"It's not for lack of trying," Atton said with a coy smile. "Jena told me I saved her when I ran out after her on Malachor V after the shadow generator had been triggered. I don't know that I did, because quite frankly, if it hadn't been for the rest of our crew... for Mical, who helped me get Jena on board the _Ebon Hawk_ as the planet was about to get destroyed... we both would have died there. But the fact remains that Jena's still alive, and that as long as I have a breath left in me, she will _stay_ alive."

Atton stopped talking and waited expectantly for one of the Jedi to say something. He ran his sweaty palms down the sides of his robes. Finally, Master Vandar addressed him. "A great love for Master Shel you appear to have."

Atton furrowed his brow. "Well, yes, I…" He stopped and it suddenly dawned on him that the conversation was headed in a direction he probably would not like. He hung his head. "Yes," he repeated briefly.

"Surely, you must know that from love often spawns jealousy... resentment... revenge... and hatred, emotions which all lead to the Dark side," Visas said severely. "Emotions which I _know_ you have experienced."

"Yes," Atton breathed, staring at his boots.

"Master Shel must have taught you the Jedi code… namely that 'there is no emotion'," the Squib piped.

"Yes," Atton said again, dully.

"And yet," Bastila said, "you choose to pursue this relationship despite the fact it goes against the Jedi code."

Following suit with his head, Atton's shoulders slumped. _Where are they going with this? Are they going to forbid me from seeing Jena? Are they going to cut me off from the Force? To exile me like they exiled her? To force me to give up my lightsaber?_

"Look," he said, trying not to let his desperation show. "I've turned my back to the Dark side more often than I can count. Yes, I get jealous. But I don't let it dominate me. Well... not anymore. Visas knew me almost two years ago. I've _changed_!Revan could tell you that... She's tried to bait me... with Mical... but I kept my temper in check." He looked at Master Vandar. "_Please_," he entreated. "Don't ask me to stay away from her. And don't ask me to stop loving her, because I _can't_. She's the one who made me who I am now. She's everything to me."

The moment Atton uttered those last few words, he realized he had said too much.

"And what," asked the Cathar seated next to Vandar, "would happen if she were to die by someone's hand? What then? Would you keep your resolve? Would you be able to resist the temptation to strike that person down in anger?"

Atton sighed, and whispered, "I don't know. I like to think I would... but I just don't know. I just know what I went through during the year and a half we were separated... and I know that I would be lost without her."

His eyes dropped to his boots, but not before they had a chance to rest upon Master Vandar's pensive, somber face. _It's over. I've lost the argument. I've lost Jena. She's so happy to be a part of the Order again... if they tell her she can't be with me anymore... I've lost her_. The room remained silent for a few minutes, and suddenly Master Vandar spoke up, "Much to reflect upon, you have given us. A moment we require to discuss your case. Outside this room please wait until summoned you are again."

Atton swallowed and bowed slightly. He turned around and exited the room. He stepped out into the hall, closed the door, leaned up against the wall and slid down to the floor, more dejected than he had been in a long time.

* * *

_Author's notes:_ Thanks for all the reviews... sorry about the slow updates recently, but I just finished moving. Hopefully, I should be able to post a bit more regularly, now that things are a bit less stressful. I still love hearing what you think of my chapters, so please let me know:) 

SS


	25. Redemption

**Chapter 25 – Redemption**

Atton sat with his eyes closed, his legs pulled up close to his chest, and his chin resting on his knees. He didn't know what else he could do but wait. He sighed heavily.

_Should've lied to them. Like Bastila expected me to. This is what I get for telling the truth, really. Don't know what I was thinking. Telling the truth never did me any favors before… why did I think it would change now? Did I really think the Jedi would trust me if they could see I was telling the truth? _

He laughed sardonically.

The bitterness faded from his brow and he glanced nervously at the Council Chamber door. Behind it, his fate—and Jena's—was being decided right at that moment. Should he even bother sticking around to find out what it was? In his cynical heart, he already knew what it would be.

_I've got a bad feeling about this._

And if he was right about the outcome, what would be the point of going in to see the Council again? Technically, if he didn't know what their ruling was, he and Jena weren't breaking any rules by still being together. Technically. Sure, the Council was bound to catch up to them sooner or later and tell them officially that they were cast out. But until that happened, they could always… _pretend_… right?

Atton scoffed at himself. Of course, they couldn't. Jena was a part of the Council now. She would never agree if he went over to her right now and suggested that they leave the planet immediately. Being a part of the Jedi Order again was what she had been wanting since she was exiled from it… wasn't it? He frowned for a moment and shook his head. Of _course_ it was. There was no way she'd ever pick _him_ over the Jedi Order.

_Hell, if I was in her shoes, I'd probably pick anything over me_, he thought bitterly.

He peered impatiently at the door again. No, there really was no point in sticking around to hear their verdict. His muscles tensed and he made a move to get up, but he hesitated and slumped back down. Sure, on the one hand, he was convinced he had completely destroyed his chance with the Jedi Council; but on the other hand, if he was wrong, and he still had a chance to convince the Council members that his relationship with Jena was _not_ going to lead him—or her—to the dark side… well, it certainly wouldn't work to his advantage if he wasn't there waiting when they opened the door to call him in. One simply didn't walk away from a summons by the Jedi Council like a spoiled child. Not if one wanted it to think one bought into its whole "there is no emotion" routine. And _especially_ not if one's entire future depended on the outcome of said summons.

Atton's vacant gaze drifted over to the tip of his boots, as he wondered again how much longer the Council would be. He had left his chrono on the ship, and had no idea how much time he had spent in the hallway, waiting. He shut his eyes. An image came to mind, and it made him smile: Jena, sitting in their room, laughing and talking to Daynn. His eyes suddenly flew open and the image vanished. He sat up straight, apprehensive. There was a ripple in the Force. Something not quite right was happening—somewhere. He got a sense that it was on Coruscant, but that was all he knew for sure. He cursed inwardly at himself for not developing his sensing abilities any further.

He slowly got to his feet and carefully looked around. No. It wasn't here. He wasn't in any immediate danger. He frowned. If _he_ wasn't in any immediate danger… who _was_?

"What's the point of having all these Force abilities if I can't even figure that out?" he muttered impatiently as he shut his eyes again.

He breathed in deeply over four counts, held his breath for seven, and exhaled over eight: that was the way Jena had taught him to clear his mind. He bit his lip and squirmed uncomfortably as his apprehension grew. This disturbance confirmed the 'bad feeling' he had had before entering the Council Chamber, and he did not like where this was headed.

He reached out through the Force and was suddenly overwhelmed with a wave of shock, dismay, and fear—emotions that weren't his.

Though he knew whose they were.

"No!" He leapt to his feet and began running down the hall, back the way he had come from earlier.

* * *

When Atton arrived back at his room, he was running out of steam and his heart was racing. Desperately trying to catch his breath, he wiped his sweaty palms down his robe. After unhooking his lightsaber from his belt, he switched his weapon on, opened the door and stepped steadily through the doorway. His eyes shifted in turn from Daynn to Jena, who stood across the room, lightsaber drawn; and then to each of the three strangers: the two who threatened Jena with their crimson lightsabers, and the one who clutched Daynn's arm securely to prevent him from escaping. 

"Just what in blazes," Atton demanded loudly, firmly gripping his lightsaber and glaring at the man, "do you schuttas think you're doing with my son and my girl?"

_Sith… There are three Sith. Here. In the frackin' Jedi Temple! How could the Council possibly let this happen? _

The three men, all clad in jet-black robes, slowly turned around to see who had just walked in and who dared address them thus.

"Atton!" Jena hissed before any of them had the time to respond, her eyes still fixated on the Sith who held Daynn captive. "Get out of here. Go get help."

Atton raised an eyebrow. "Right… so I can let these chuff-sucking leeches make off with my son while I'm away?" He took another step forward. "And let them turn him into a Sith?" He sneered at the apparent leader who had a firm hold on the squirming boy's arm, and narrowed his eyes. "I don't think so. The Sith already had one Rand; they won't get a second one."

The Sith—the one who now had his hand secured around Daynn's arm so tightly the man's nails were turning white—had started to stare at Atton with an air of recognition as soon as the latter opened his mouth. His lips twisted into a half-smile, half sneer.

"Atton," Jena pleaded, "you don't know what you're dealing w—"

"Lord Revan's Favorite Little Killer," the Sith interrupted. "Well, isn't it a small galaxy? Still standing by Revan, I see. Interesting. I would've expected her to have you killed for leaving the way you did. Quite a surprise to see you alive… and protecting her son, no less. What did she promise you in exchange, Jaq? You know just as well as I do she can't be trusted. She'll turn on you in a second if it serves her own interest."

Atton could sense Jena's surprise from across the room, but no one was as shocked as Atton himself. Who was this man? And how did he know Atton? Clearly they had both served Revan during the Civil War. Atton scrutinized the man's face, to no avail. He looked strangely familiar, but Atton couldn't quite put his finger on the reason why he did. The Sith smiled mockingly.

"What's the matter, Jaq? Don't remember me? Funny. I'd have thought that of all people, _you'd_ remember me."

Atton made a wry face. "Sorry. Guess I must've blocked your ugly mug from my memory."

The Sith chuckled quietly. "Oh, Jaq, Jaq, Jaq… You'll never change, will you? Here we are, you evidently outnumbered, and I clearly with the upper hand as I'm holding on to your boss's son, but you're still giving me attitude." He shook his head benevolently, though his eyes still mocked Atton. "How a person like you managed to make me fall… Well, I don't think I'll ever quite understand it, but you did. I suppose I should thank you. You helped me see the truth."

Atton's face was impassive, though below the surface he was wracking his brain trying to remember who this person was. He supposed he was one of the people he had single-handedly turned over to the dark side during the Jedi Civil War. The man certainly looked increasingly familiar.

_N… it starts with an N… or was it an S? _

"If you want to thank me," Atton said, his eyes briefly darting toward Jena, "you can start by letting them go." He knew the odds of that happening were about as good as finding a Wampa ice creature on Tatooine, but it was worth a shot.

The Sith now laughed outright. "Don't waste your breath, Jaq! How stupid do you think I am? I came all this way for Revan's son, and now I'm going to let him get away just because _you_ asked me nicely? It's obvious you don't remember who I am, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered."

"If you want me to know who you are, you might want to start by telling me your name," Atton retorted.

The Sith smiled condescendingly. "I know what you're doing. You're trying to remember who I am so you'll know how to deal with me, how to manipulate me. You're thinking you managed to turn me over to your side before, and so you'll be able to do it again. You're so predictable, Jaq. It won't work, you know. For someone who used to make a living out of turning people to the dark side, you seem to know very little about it."

Atton shrugged. "If you're so sure it won't work, then what do you have to gain in hiding your name from me?"

"I wasn't. I simply failed to tell you. I don't care whether you know or not. I'm Darth Sondar. Though I suppose you only knew me as Sondar then. Not that you'll remember."

Atton furrowed his brow. _Sondar… Sondar…_ His frown faded and understanding appeared on his face for an instant. _Sondar. Yes. Now I remember. This was the guy who…_ Atton stopped and found it difficult to refrain from cringing.

_"I could've easily killed you, Sondar. The only reason you're still alive is because I let you. You might want to try to remember that. Just be thankful I don't make you call me 'my Lord'. Now get the hell out of my seat." _

As the nine-year-old conversation flashed into his mind, Atton groaned inwardly as his flimsy hopes of talking the Sith into leaving faded away. He remembered Sondar, all right. He also remembered the abuse, the threats—and Atton had originated them all. Atton had not felt the least bit threatened by him then. He hadn't had anything to lose, and he had had an alcohol-induced self-confidence that led him to believe nothing could touch him. But that was then; and things were different now. He now stood to lose a great deal through his own past actions.

In an attempt to conceal his fond wish of kicking himself, Atton flashed Sondar a strained smile. "Sondar," he acknowledged.

The Sith's smile grew broader. "Yes… now you remember."

"I guess I do. And I think I'd be a hell of a lot happier if I didn't. Talk about the ol' past coming back to bite me in the ass. Forgive me if I don't walk over there and shake your hand, but with your men threatening my girlfriend with their lightsabers, and you holding my son hostage… well, it's kind of putting a bit of a damper on this happy reunion, don't you think?"

"Yes… your _son_…" Sondar mused. "You mentioned that when you first arrived. A commendable effort, but I'm no fool, Jaq. I am perfectly aware of the fact that this boy is Lord Revan's son, not _yours_. So if you're hoping I'll let him go, you're in for a disappointment."

Atton snorted. "Hey, newsflash, Sith-boy. I know a lot of people didn't realize this, but _Lord Revan_ is a woman."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jaq," Sondar snapped. "I am perfectly aware of _that_."

"Right… In that case, I guess when your mommy told you how babies were made, she kind of skipped over the part where a _father_ is generally needed in order for a baby to come along." Atton smirked. "They called me Revan's favorite for a reason."

Sondar's face betrayed his surprise for an instant, but he quickly recovered his wits. "Indeed!" He sounded highly amused. "I would accuse you of lying, of course, but I can sense that you are somehow telling the truth. And so Revan's son is also yours. How interesting. I always fondly believed him to be Lord Malak's son, but somehow, it all makes sense. I had heard rumors that Lord Revan had a weakness for you. I had refused to believe it until now. You were hardly the type to sweep a Sith Lord off her feet, underhanded scoundrel of dubious hygiene that you were…" He wrinkled his nose. "Not that any of that has changed, I'm sure. Though looking back, I suppose it would explain why Revan never sent _you_ away to the Unknown Regions to have you trained as a dark Jedi, as she did with me." He waved his hand dismissively. "But no matter. The child's father is of no consequence to me. Revan's son is coming with us, and there's nothing a pathetic gravel maggot like you can do about it."

Atton narrowed his eyes. "I think you'll find I disagree with that," he said through clenched teeth.

Darth Sondar sighed heavily and shrugged, looking bored. "Very well. I _was_ prepared to let you live if you allowed us to leave with Revan's son without any grief. You, and perhaps even the Exile as well, if she behaved like a good girl. But I see that's not going to happen now." With his right hand, he unhooked his lightsaber from his belt. "It is rather unfortunate that you felt you needed to die, Jaq. You were a good assassin once. You could have joined me and become powerful. But I suppose your son will have to do."

"Over my dead body," Atton spat.

The Sith smiled sardonically. "Yes, well… that _is_ what I was alluding to." He switched on his bright red lightsaber. "And now, Jaq, be a dear and die quickly. I'm on a bit of a tight schedule. You know, galaxy to conquer and all that."

Atton sneered. "When have you ever known me to make things easy for anyone?"

Sondar shrugged again. "Can't blame me for trying." He let go of Daynn's hand and told the child sternly, "Now you go and hide in the corner. I need you in one piece." Daynn fearfully stared at the man and quickly ran over to the corner of the room.

"Yeah, you stay out of the way, Daynn," Atton ordered uselessly, feeling he ought to add something so it didn't seem as though the Sith cared more for his son's safety than he did.

Atton's eyes flickered back to Sondar, just in time to see him raise his free hand. Before Atton could react, blue lightning exploded from the tip of the Sith's fingers and struck Atton squarely in the chest. A searing sensation overwhelmed him and he heard a scream. It took him a second to realize it had come from his own mouth. When he opened his eyes, he discovered that his knees had buckled and that his lightsaber lay uselessly on the floor before him. And then the piercing pain came back. Only this time, as he had been staring at the floor, wondering how he got there, he didn't have the luxury of forewarning before the lightning struck. Through the screams he vainly tried to repress, he could hear a low, sadistic cackle coming from Sondar's direction. Atton swore and cursed at the dark Jedi, only to have his words transform into more cries of pain.

But then, just as suddenly as it had hit him, the pain subsided. Atton groaned and weakly raised his head: Jena's lightsaber collided with Sondar's. Atton's mind still a haze, it barely had the time to register the fact that the other two Sith, who no longer wished to stand idly by, were rushing toward the other obvious target: him. Scrambling, Atton realized he would never have enough time to get to his feet. He stretched his hand out in front of him and called on the Force. The Sith closest to him was violently pushed back, hit the wall, and slipped to the floor, unconscious. The other, however, was barely fazed for a split second, and then lunged toward Atton, who quickly leapt out of his way. Atton sprang to his feet and called his lightsaber to his hand. He ignited the weapon and parried an oncoming attack. With adrenaline pumping through his veins, he battled through the pain, drawing a deep breath as he lunged forward. His first attempt to strike the Sith failed. As he glanced over to his right, he saw his son sitting tearfully on the floor, his back pressed up against the wall, clutching his knees.

"Daynn!" Atton bellowed as he parried another blow. "Get out of here!"

His only answer was a pitiful whimper. Atton quickly turned his head and saw that the boy had not budged.

"Daynn!" he spat. "I said go—ARGH!"

A flash of blinding pain: it had come from his left hand. His eyes dropped to the hilt of his lightsaber. He saw his hand and understood.

"My finger!" he raged. His left index finger had been lobbed off at the knuckle and now lay at his feet. A string of profanity that would have made a Hutt blush escaped his mouth. Anger pumping through his veins, he violently brought his lightsaber down. It collided with the Sith's shoulder and burned through the flesh. "You took my bloody finger!" Atton cried, swinging his lightsaber again. There was the flicker of a familiar feeling as he struck the Sith's other shoulder. A feeling that had been buried deep inside him ever since Freedon Nadd's tomb on Dxun. Atton barely had the chance to acknowledge what it was when he heard a loud childish wail. His head snapped to his right. The wounded Sith, taking advantage of the distraction, struck Atton squarely in the side. A yelp escaped Atton's lips.

"Dammit, Daynn, I told you to go!" Atton half-scolded, half-pleaded, his eyes smarting. "Go… go get your mother! Anyone!"

Daynn narrowed his wide eyes and clenched his right hand into a fist. The next thing Atton heard was an agonizing scream. Through his watery eyes, Atton turned to look at the Sith in front of him. The man had fallen down to his knees and was clutching his chest, his lightsaber resting uselessly on the floor next to him. The Sith looked as though he was about to say something, but before any words could come out, blood dribbled from his mouth and he collapsed to the floor, lifeless.

Atton gaped, wondering what had happened. Knowing that he had not—even inadvertently—used dark Force powers, he looked at the body, and then at the boy who stood fearfully in the corner. Through the Force, Atton caught the tail end of the outburst of dark energy that had emanated from Daynn. He understood. The caterpillar… the gizka…

Atton repressed a shudder and shouted with even more conviction, "Daynn! Out! _Now_!"

This time, the boy did not hesitate and promptly ran out of the room.

_Good! Well, that's one less target here. Great. This guy's here trying to turn Daynn into a dark Jedi, and it looks like he's already got his work cut out for him, seeing as Daynn's falling to the dark side just by trying to help us. _

Determined to get this unpleasantness over with, he took a step toward Jena to help her out, but suddenly felt unable to move.

_What the…? _

Had Atton been able to move, his eyes would have widened drastically as he realized what had happened: the Sith, the one who had collided with the wall and who had been written off as a threat, had seemingly regained consciousness, gotten back up onto his feet, and paralyzed Atton with the Force. This was a new experience for Atton, and he quickly realized that the only thing he could do was breathe, stand still, and watch in horror as the Sith rushed toward him, lightsaber drawn. Knowing there was nothing he could do to stop the dark Jedi from killing him, he focused all his strength toward shutting his eyes.

He failed.

_Well, this is it, Jaq… or Atton… or whatever else you want to call yourself… This is it… You're going to die… and after all this, you didn't. Even. Get. To save. Jena! _

He desperately wanted to shake his head.

_Once a failure, always a failure. _

Atton breathed out regretfully as he watched the Sith rush toward him, and just as he started to resign himself to the idea of dying a failure, he heard a voice behind him; a normally gentlemanly voice, now uttering foreign-sounding words.

"Nice try, schutta! If you think you are going to cut down Atton with a lightsaber, you are greatly mistaken… you… _Hutt spawn_!"

Atton barely had time to register whose voice it was when he saw Mical wedge himself between him and the Sith and immediately parry an attack with his lightsaber. Unable to do anything else, Atton stared in awe at the young Jedi who had jumped into battle to rescue him.

Him.

Atton Rand.

_Did Mical just save my life? _

Atton watched as Mical parried a few more blows and changed his strategy from defense to offense. Atton mentally groaned.

_Great. If we do get out of this, I'm going to owe him big. Maybe he should've just let me die instead. Thank the Force I'm not a Wookiee… I wouldn't want to owe this guy a life debt._

Atton felt a smirk trying to form itself.

And then, from the corner of his eye: Jena. She was in trouble. A lot of trouble. Her robe was scorched and ripped around her thigh, and she was badly cut up.

_Jena!_ he yelled in his mind, still unable to utter a sound. _Dammit, Mical, forget about me! Help her! _

Atton watched in horror as Jena parried blow after blow with increasing difficulty, never going on the offense.

_She's injured. She'd getting too tired to fight. Mical's too busy to help her, and I can't help her because I can't move. Dammit! This isn't fair! The one time I could save her… the one time she really needs me, and I can't do a thing about it! If Sondar kills her… it'll be my fault. I'm the one who turned him to the dark Side in the first place. _

Darth Sondar, seemingly tired of the duel that wasn't going anywhere, held his lightsaber steadily in front of him to shield any incoming blows, raised his right hand and squeezed his fingertips closer together. Jena's eyes widened with shock and her face slowly grew a darker shade of red. As veins started appearing on the side of her temple, she unconsciously reached for her throat in a vain attempt to stop herself from choking. Her lightsaber wavered and lowered slowly as Sondar looked smugly at her. He slowly and deliberately hooked his lightsaber back onto his belt.

Atton watched in horror. This couldn't be happening. _No! Jena! Be strong! Fight back! Don't… _

He tried to move his lightsaber. It didn't even budge. He mentally repeated his entire repertoire of curse words in his head as he focused on trying to restore feeling in his body. And then he felt it: a slight tickle in his foot.

_Now we're getting somewhere. _He felt the corner of his mouth curl up into half a triumphant smile. _Come on… come on… Snap out of it, Rand! You have to save her… If you don't ever do anything else… you have to do this…_The pins-and-needles sensation spread to his other foot and to his hands. _Come on!_ He watched Jena sink closer and closer to the ground. She turned and looked at him with fearful bloodshot eyes.

"JENA!" Atton suddenly heard himself scream. Before he even realized he had moved, he was standing before Sondar, his lightsaber crackling mere inches from the Sith's neck.

"Let… her… go!" Atton snarled through his teeth. He clenched his jaw and grasped his weapon more firmly.

"Atton!" Jena wheezed as her color darkened further. "Don't… anger… dark…"

But Atton was past paying attention to her. Anger and hatred thrummed through his veins as he glared at Sondar.

"I said let her GO!" he spat, bringing the beam of his lightsaber even closer to Sondar's neck. The blade crackled and popped, and the stench of scorched flesh surrounded them.

Jena gasped. "A…n! …o!"

Sondar sneered and lowered his hand, releasing his grip on Jena's throat. She breathed in deeply and stumbled down. Atton maintained his lightsaber next to Sondar's throat and its viridian light reflected against the Sith's sweaty skin.

Atton's tone was deadly. "Now. It looks as though _I've_ got the upper hand now. And so…" His hands tightened their grip around the hilt of his lightsaber and he pulled the blade back a few inches. This was it. He could end it all. He had the upper hand and with one swift stroke of his blade, he could slay the man who tried to kill the woman he loved. The man who tried to take away his son.

_Daynn._

In a flash, he remembered the horror he had felt when he realized Daynn was in danger of falling to the dark side. He bit his lips. The temptation and the opportunity to kill Sondar certainly were there. But—

_There is no passion…_

He pursed his lips. "And so," he repeated, "you and your remaining buddy…" He swallowed hard in an effort to bury his anger, and continued, "…will kindly drop your weapons… and come with me. And if you behave nicely, I might put in a good word for you when the Jedi Council decides what is to become of you." His tone indicated that there wasn't much chance of that happening.

Sondar glanced sideways at Atton's lightsaber and his mouth contorted into a grimace that was meant to be a sardonic smile. "So," he commented, "I see you've finally picked a side to stick with, _assassin_ Rand. Never thought I would live to see the day when _you_ should become a Jedi Knight. How quaint." He sneered. "And may I ask what you will do with me now, _Jedi_? Will you kill me? I know you want to… I almost killed _her_. I can tell she means a lot to you. I could kill her yet."

"You could." Atton spoke evenly. "But you won't; because you're afraid. Afraid of what crazy Jaq Rand will do to you."

Sondar laughed cautiously. "Oh, I'm not afraid… I _might_ be afraid if I was in fact dealing with 'crazy Jaq Rand'… but I am not. No, the man I am talking to right now is a _Jedi_." His voice dripped with disdain. "And a Jedi does not kill in anger… or out of revenge. Because anger leads to the dark side, doesn't it, Jaq? I may walk the dark path now, Jaq, but it doesn't mean I forgot the lessons my Jedi Masters taught me. I still remember my Jedi Code. Remember 'There is no emotion; there is peace', Jaq? What about 'There is no passion; there is serenity', _Jaq_?" Sondar smiled mischievously. "Yet… I wonder… I wonder if you truly believe this. After all, you're the one who taught me that through emotion I gain strength. And that through strength, I gain power." His smile grew wider. "Yes. I think that perhaps… with the right trigger… you'll find all your new found resolve will fly out the window. I can feel your anger, Jaq." He chuckled. "I think I should like to watch you fall… just like you enjoyed watching _me_ fall."

Atton swallowed his anger once more, finding it increasingly difficult to do so. He straightened himself and held his lightsaber closer to Sondar's throat. "I know what you're trying to do, and you're going to stop right _now_. You're going to get your buddy over there to back off from _my_ buddy, and you're both going to come with—"

Darth Sondar pouted and said, "No… no, I really don't think I will."

He held up his hand and blue lightning bolts burst out of the tip of his fingers once again. Atton braced himself for the hit, which never came. He opened his eyes when he heard a scream.

"Jena!"

Sondar laughed. "Yes. Now you understand. And now, Jaq Rand, you will watch her die. And then you _will_ fall—or you will die." More bolts shot out of Sondar's fingers.

Jena screeched again and collapsed. Atton's eyes grew wide and he stared at her, helpless. He could hear her screams of pain, but there was nothing he could do to stop them.

_If I strike him down now in anger… I fall to the dark side… and he wins… but if I let him torture her and kill her while I stand here and do nothing… he still wins. Dammit, at this rate she's going to die either way. I… I can't let him kill her… I have to kill him! I have to… I have to… _

The dark Jedi glanced at Atton and let out a cruel, triumphant laugh as bolts of electricity coursed through Jena's contorted body.

Sondar smiled jubilantly. "Do you feel it, Jaq?" he asked. "Do you feel the hate swelling inside you? I know you do… I'm torturing her… and you _love_ her. Anyone can see that. Are you going to just stand by and let it happen? What kind of a Jedi would you be if you did? Strike me down, Jaq. It's the only thing that will stop me from killing her."

Atton narrowed his eyes and clenched his teeth as he moved his lightsaber up against Sondar's throat again. The air reeked of scorched flesh and singed hair again. "If you kill her, I _will_ make you suffer, Sondar."

Despite the burning sensation on his throat, the Sith smiled triumphantly.

"How does it feel to be on the other side of the fence, Jaq? To now be turned to the dark side, instead of being the one turning others to it?"

Atton eyes wavered and in a barely audible voice, muttered, "_There is no ignorance…_"

Sondar cocked an eyebrow. He could see that Atton had spoken, but the sounds of battle had drowned his words out. "If you're going to say something to me, Jaq, you might want to speak up. Any"—he scoffed—"_names_ you want to call me? Any death threats you want to utter? Any Force powers you want to use to crush me or burn me, or torture me? Just like I crushed, burned and tortured the woman you love, Jaq?"

"_…there is knowledge_," Atton finished, not bothering to raise the volume of his voice.

Atton had finally understood. He had never fully grasped the concept of that line of the Jedi Code. He had always wondered how ignorance could possibly lead anyone to the dark side. But at that moment, he realized it meant that in order to make the right choice, he had to know all the viable options. And he finally knew what he should do.

"I said '_There is no ignorance; there is knowledge_'," Atton said calmly.

Sondar's stared at him. "That's it? Your useless Jedi drivel is supposed to make me change my mind about what I'm doing?"

"Not at all." Atton withdrew his lightsaber from its position and switched it off. "What I meant was, killing you is _not_ the only thing I can do to save her."

He darted in front of Jena. The bolts of lightning that were torturing her hit Atton squarely in the chest. Jena gasped weakly, opened her eyes, and muttered, "Atton… no… Not… the way…" The room danced before her eyes.

As electricity surged and burned its way through his body, Atton was unsure whether he screamed from the pain, or from the sight of Jena slumped down on the floor, motionless.


	26. Awakenings

**Chapter 26 – Awakenings**

Atton panted. He took advantage of a brief intermission and opened his burning eyelids, craning his neck to see Jena .

Jena ... An odd sort of feeling came over him. Emptiness. He squirmed and frowned as he realized he could no longer feel their bond. He bit his lip and blinked a few times to chase the tears from his eyes, so he could study her more carefully. He had barely had time to register the fact that her chest still heaved regularly albeit faintly when the pain stuck him again with a vengeance. He cried out in agony.

Amidst the pain, Atton could at least find solace in the fact that Jena was apparently still alive. Perhaps the fact that she was unconscious was to blame for his inability to sense their bond. Pain notwithstanding, he could have laughed over his own predicament. He had lunged in front of Jena to stop Sondar from torturing her, to allow her to get away. He had however not banked on the fact that Jena would be too weak to make her escape and that she would lose consciousness.

_Way... to think... things through... genius..._

As his body twisted and convulsed, he picked up a strange scent in the air. It vaguely reminded him of the time he had found an electrocuted Mynock on the _Hawk_'s power cables. He barely had the time to realize that the smell emanated from his own skin when the electric current shooting through his body stopped abruptly. He groaned, hoping against hope that it would cease long enough for him to gather up his strength, so he could do something other than writhe on the floor in agony.

"Yes..." He heard a patronizing voice. "It hurts, doesn't it?" Sondar chuckled. "You should have killed me when you had the chance, Jaq. Your sad attempt to save her was all for nothing. Touching, but useless. I'll simply kill you first, and her second."

Atton winced. Of course that's what would happen now. What had he expected? For Sondar to stop torturing him out of the goodness of his heart? He groaned again and tried to move, but he quickly became aware of how bad of an idea that was. His body felt stiff and sore, and he found himself thinking that he wouldn't feel any worse if he fell asleep, naked, under the suns of Tatooine for several hours.

Bracing himself for the inevitable pain, he grasped for the hilt of his lightsaber, weakly attempting to close his hand around it, but it lay just out of his reach. He had hesitated too long before. He had feared that striking Sondar down in anger might have led him to the dark side. He started thinking it may have been worth it regardless. But at least he knew it wasn't anger driving him now; it was sheer survival instinct, and the will to protect Jena .

He clenched his teeth to offset the pain, but his hand shook and wavered. He couldn't find the strength to get his lightsaber. He swore inwardly and swallowed. His throat felt dry. He knew there was nothing he could do to save himself or even Jena anymore. Tears burned in his eyes.

_So... sorry... tried... my best... wasn't... enough..._

He heard the crackle of a lightsaber nearby. He shut his eyes and braced himself for Sondar's final blow, hoping that the Jedi were right, and that there really was no death. _Though at this point, I'd settle for no pain._ He held his breath, and waited for the inevitable.

But there was no wave of blinding pain, and no sweet release from his torture. All he heard was the snap-hiss of a lightsaber, an agonized shriek, and the soft thud of something landing of the floor next to him.

Atton opened his eyes. Something lay on the floor next to his head. A hand, severed at the wrist. He stared in disgust and disbelief.

_A hand?_

He looked up. Mical stood in front of Sondar, lightsaber drawn. With his right hand, Sondar was holding what remained of his left wrist. And Atton fondly wished he could kick himself. _Now, why didn't _you_ think of doing __that, you idiot?_

A curse escaped Sondar's lips, and with a flick of his wrist, Mical moved his lightsaber next to Sondar's neck, perfectly lined up with the burn mark left behind by Atton's lightsaber. Mical grinned.

"Things certainly appear to have turned around now, haven't they, Sith?" Mical's smile faded, and he added menacingly, "And in case you're wondering, I'm not above cutting the other hand off. So perhaps now you ought to just give up while you're still alive and still possess the ability to pick things up." He jerked his head back toward the other two Sith, both dead. "Your allies can't help you." He took Sondar's lightsaber from him and tossed it across the room. "You no longer have your weapon. And if you even try to use the Force again, know that I will cut you down without any hesitation."

Sondar grimaced. "You wouldn't... couldn't..." His grimace turned into a triumphant smile. "You're a Jedi. You can't kill me; I'm unarmed."

Mical chuckled. "Unarmed? Is that how you think I consider you? You are perfectly able to defend yourself. And even if you were not..." His eyes shifted over to Atton's still smoking body and he smirked. "Atton here could tell you that I'm not always above striking helpless people down in anger. Couldn't you, Atton?"

Atton coughed in response, hoping to sound casual and to divert the attention from him, as he was still attempting to get hold of his lightsaber. After all, Mical might have the upper hand, but it wasn't over yet.

_If Mical can just distract him long enough... nothing in the Jedi Code about not stabbing someone in the back if they're trying to kill you... Well... not those _exact_ words..._

He smiled grimly. He knew that such an effort might push him over the edge. He was still in too much pain. He hoped desperately that Daynn had found Revan. Revan, or anyone else, really. Anybody who wasn't wounded would do the trick at this point. He'd even welcome HK-47 with open arms. The droid would certainly have no qualms about shooting Sondar down and making sure he remained there.

Mical turned his attention away from Atton and back to Sondar. Atton let out an inaudible sigh of relief. "And so, Sith," Mical continued, "if you want to live, you will kindly accompany me to the Jedi Council Chambers, where the Jedi Masters can deal with you as they see fit. If you're lucky, perhaps they'll give you a second chance, as they did with Revan. Nothing like starting over with a clean slate. Or so I hear." He smirked again.

Sondar shot Mical a dark look. "I'm not going anywhere with you, Jedi," he hissed amidst the crackle of Mical's lightsaber.

Mical shrugged. "I thought you might say that," he said in a bored tone. "Very well. In that case, we'll simply stand here, my blade next to your neck, until Daynn finds his mother and brings her here, as I instructed him to do when I met him down the hall. You know. His mother. Darth Revan. Shouldn't be much longer." He waited to see if Sondar would react, but the latter didn't flinch and only glowered.

"Revan isn't the powerful Sith Lord she used to be."

"True," Mical admitted pleasantly. "However, while Revan has been redeemed, I cannot guarantee how she'll react in the presence of the man who intended to kidnap her child and lure him to the dark side. Emotions can do strange things at times. Surely you know _that_. They can turn the meekest, kindest person in the galaxy into the most vengeful, vicious being you've encountered. And we both know that Revan is quite capable of being both vicious and vengeful. It will be interesting to stand by and watch what she does to you." He smiled wickedly.

Some of Sondar's bravado faded from his eyes and he pursed his lips. "You... you can't let her kill me, Jedi. Whether you kill me yourself or just allow her to kill me, it's the same thing. Jedi don't kill their prisoners."

"Don't tempt me," Mical said, still smiling. "I'd rather not fall to the dark side, but if you give me no other choice... I'll simply tell the Council I had no other option. Jena won't know any better, and Atton certainly won't contradict me. Not after the way you tried to kill the woman he loves."

Sondar swallowed, as Mical's lightsaber did not waver. "Look... Jedi... let's be reasonable about this. Your... _Jena_ ... is still alive. No harm done. I see great potential in you. If you let me go... if you joined me... I could help you unlock that power. You could get all you've ever wanted."

Mical's smile turned bitter. "All I've ever wanted? And what would you know about that? Your power can't give me what I want." He pointed at Jena 's unconscious body. "All I ever wanted was _she_!" He turned to look at Atton and cried, "And she loves _him_!"

Sondar's lips curled and Atton swallowed. He knew what the Sith was thinking. Love can lead to jealousy, and jealousy to hate, and...

"Mical, don't fall for this. He's a _Sith_!" Atton spoke, but his words came out faint and raspy. He only then realized how dry the repeated waves of Force Lightning had made his throat. He was still quite certain he had spoken loudly and clearly enough for Mical to hear, but the younger Jedi showed no sign that he had, and simply stared Sondar in the eyes.

_There's no way this is going to end well. _Atton tried to reach his lightsaber again, but failed. _Dammit, why is this so hard? It's right _there

Sondar's worry faded from his eyes. A smile started to form on the corners of his lips. "But if you kill Jaq," he said, "then you can have her. She won't know what really happened. She couldn't, you said so yourself." He looked at Atton, raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Perhaps Jaq... died in battle?" he suggested, his smirk widening into an evil grin.

Mical stared at the Sith for a moment. Atton temporarily stopped his attempts to reach his lightsaber and looked at the two men. Was Mical hesitating just a bit too long for comfort? After all, he _had _tried to kill him before. Worry entered his mind as he watched Mical stand in silence for a few seconds.

"A valiant effort," Mical finally answered quietly, "but it won't work. She will never love me as I love her. And I've accepted that." His eyes darted over to Atton and he gave the wounded man a tired smile. "Forgiveness is all I seek now."

For an instant, Atton's eyes merely reflected surprise and relief. But a moment later that surprise turned to horror, as he had noticed Sondar's remaining hand twitch in a familiar manner. "Mical!" Atton shouted, his voice hoarse from the burns.

Mical turned quickly toward Sondar, just in time to see a lightsaber fly from across the room into the Sith's waiting hand. Before Mical had any time to react the crimson lightsaber ignited and Sondar slashed its blade deeply across the young Jedi's chest.

Mical's eyes widened and he dropped his lightsaber, which switched off as it hit the ground. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Sondar swung his blade around and stabbed him in the abdomen. Mical coughed and slid down to his knees. Again, Sondar raised his lightsaber, but before he had the chance to bring his blade down, he was struck squarely in the chest by a viridian blade.

From his spot on the floor, Atton still sat with his hand out in front of him. He wasn't sure how he had found the strength to pick up his lightsaber, much less to throw it with that much power and accuracy, but he could only hope it had been enough. He watched as Sondar's lightsaber fell to the ground and switched off, promptly followed by his own. Sondar stumbled back and stared at Atton in disbelief. He sputtered something that sounded like "Jaq", and he fell to the ground, motionless.

Atton's eyes darted to Mical. The latter looked as though he was trying to smile, which Atton found a little odd. He coughed and a bit of blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth. His hand moved shakily to his lips and he pulled it away, eyeing the blood. Still smiling, he looked at Atton again. "Can't... believe... you tried... to save... m—"

And Mical collapsed.

"Mical!" Atton shouted, still hoarsely. "Ah, frack!" He painstakingly tried to stand up. After failing twice, he finally managed to get up. He took a shaky step and realized how dark everything was becoming. He heard a panic-stricken shriek from the hall.

"Jaq!"

Atton smiled, his dry lips cracking and splitting a little. "Oh, hey, Rev..." he said casually. "'Bout time you showed up."

Revan burst into the room and hurried toward him. He grabbed hold of her arm as the room started spinning uncontrollably.

"Jaq, what happened?" he heard her ask desperately.

And then everything was black.

_

* * *

_

As Atton slowly regained consciousness, the first though that came to mind was that he must have once again fallen asleep in a Nar Shaddaa gutter again. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before. However he did feel a bit more slimy than usual... and that thing on his face... what was that?

He groggily moved his hand to his mouth, and his eyes flew open. Something covered his mouth and nose. A breathing mask. He looked around, but everything was so blurry... and bluish. He blinked a few times. There was a clear, cylindrical wall close all around him, and beyond the wall, he could make out a few other tanks similar to the one he floated in. He thought he could make out a humanoid shape in the one next to him. He looked toward the center of the room. A human with bluish-gray hair, wearing a bluish lab coat, sat at a desk, staring intently at a monitor screen.

Atton squirmed and the man looked up in his direction. He muttered something Atton couldn't understand. The man walked over to Atton's kolto tank and pushed a few buttons. The world became blurry, and Atton's eyes closed again.

* * *

The next time Atton opened his eyes, he found himself to be lying down on a bed of dubious comfort. _Almost as bad as the cots on the _Ebon Hawk, he reflected as he sat up on the medical bay bed. _And Jena always wondered why I liked sleeping in the cockpit so much._ He glanced around the small, tidy, white room. Blank walls; a chair; a table with carefully folded dark brown cloth on top. _There isn't even a window. More like a cell than a medbay. I only hope whoever's running this place is better at healing people than they are at decorating._

He stretched his arms out gingerly, remembering how painful the slightest movement used to be. There was still some stiffness and he felt sore all over, but as he glanced down to his chest, he saw that he was no longer wounded. _At least I look better than I feel._

He relaxed and drew his arms back to him. As he did so, his eyes fell to his left hand. Where his severed digit used to be now was a silver robotic finger. He blinked and grumbled, "Oh great. A droid finger." He flexed his cybernetic finger a few times as he stared at it. "Figures."

He shook his head. A large strand of hair slipped onto his face. He ran his hand through his hair to brush it back and grimaced at the sensation of semi-dry kolto between his fingers. He grimaced.

_This stuff's going to cling to me for hours. With my luck, I'll probably develop some sort of allergic reaction._ He eyed the closed door. _There's gotta be a fresher around here, so I can clean up a bit._

He got up carefully as to not become light-headed, and was just getting used to standing again when the door slid open. Realizing that he wasn't wearing much in the way of clothes, he quickly pulled the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around his waist, just as Revan walked into the room. She paused and shot him an appraisable glance and a smirk.

"Nice," she commented, referring to his bare chest, as the door closed behind her. "About the same as I remember. A few extra scars, though, I think."

"What do you want, Revan?" Atton snapped, unconsciously wrapping the sheet a bit more tightly around his waist. He sneered. "Or did you already get what you came in here for?"

Revan snorted. "Don't flatter yourself, Jaq Rand. Seeing you half-naked is hardly worth the effort of coming all the way out here."

Atton raised an eyebrow. "Gee, Rev, don't hold back on account of the fact I'm wounded. Tell me how you _really_ feel."

Revan's smirk vanished and she briefly closed her eyes. "Sorry, Jaq. I've had kind of a rough couple days, and you tend to bring the sarcastic schutta out of me."

"Yeah, I'm told I have that effect on a lot of people." He glanced around the room to confirm that those were his clothes on the nearby table and paused. "Wait. Did you say a couple days? Just how long was I in there?"

"About a day."

Atton's eyes widened. "No wonder my hands are all pruny. Jena okay?"

Revan's eyebrows twitched almost imperceptibly. "Yeah," she breathed. " Jena 's fine. Still in the kolto tank, but she should be out soon, I would imagine."

The mention of Jena 's name reminded Atton how naked he really was. He glanced at Revan uneasily. "So... would it be asking too much for you to turn around while I got dressed?"

Without a reply, Revan covered her eyes with her left hand and with her right, motioned him to carry on. "You do realize, of course, that I've seen you a lot more naked than that," she added conversationally.

"Yeah, well..." He headed toward the table where his robes rested. "I think I'd rather you just remember it, on the off-shot that your memory is more generous than nature was." He picked up his garments and proceeded to put them on.

Revan laughed briefly, but her smile almost immediately faded. "You almost done?" she asked soberly.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Atton responded as he struggled with his belt. "Fracking thing," he mumbled as he fastened it. Having finally managed to cover himself up in a satisfactory manner, he said aloud, "All right. I'm about as decent as I'm gonna get." Revan lowered her hand and Atton added, "Now... why is it that you—" He stopped and frowned as he glanced down to his robes. "Did you have these _cleaned_?" he asked.

"Sorry," Revan retorted. "I didn't realize you had an emotional attachment to those vornskr blood stains."

Atton's glanced up thoughtfully for a moment. "Oh yeah... I'd forgotten about those. Anyway, so why _are_ you here?" He readjusted his belt and frowned. "You're _sure_ Jena 's okay?"

" _Jena_ _'s_ fine, Jaq."

Atton failed to notice the slight emphasis Revan put on the word ' Jena '. "Well, good," he said, somewhat relieved. He glanced over at Revan and for the first time since she came into the room, he noticed she wore cream-colored Jedi robes, and that her hair wasn't tied back in its usual ponytail. "Well, don't _you_ look purdy," he said, stifling a yawn. "Can't say I remember the last time I saw you dressed in Jedi Robes. Must've been the Mandalorian Wars."

"I had to meet with the Council," she replied briefly. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a half-ton speeder. Wait. No..." He massaged his left hand and eyed his cybernetic finger. "Make that a Corellian Cruiser." He looked up. "So, what did the geezers have to say? I expect they told you how bad of an impression I made on them."

Revan sat down on the nearby chair, and, not wanting to be the only one left standing, Atton sat back down onto the bed. "Well, your name did come up a few times, but probably not in the way you'd expect."

"Well, whatever it was, it can't have been good. So…" He leaned over toward Revan. "What _did_ they want?"

"It wasn't so much what they wanted as what _I_ wanted." She glanced away. "I asked to speak to them."

Atton arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Revan looked directly at Atton. "And I told them the same thing I came here to tell you. I'm leaving."

The words took a few seconds to register in Atton's mind. "Leaving? What do you mean, _leaving_?"

Revan exhaled impatiently. "Come on, Jaq! You know what's going on! Evidently the Sith aren't going to stop until they have what they're looking for... and seeing as one of the things they're looking for is my son... Well, I'm not about to let them. So I'm going back to the Unknown Regions, or wherever else they may be hiding now."

Atton looked her in the eyes and asked deliberately, "What about Carth?"

Revan's eyes darted away, and she didn't answer. Atton leaned over toward her, until he caught her eye again. "What about _Carth_, Revan?" he insisted.

"Carth understands," Revan muttered. "He'd do the same if Dustil was the one in danger. He told me so. But…" She furrowed her brow. "I'm surprised... He never once asked to come along. I guess he knew there was no point. That I'd say no. He said..." She laughed bitterly. "He said he was just glad that this time I gave him a chance to say goodbye." She winced. "I hate leaving him... Being back here, on Coruscant, it made me realize just how much..." She stopped and looked down.

"How much...?" Atton insisted.

Revan looked right at him. "How much he means to me, and how I was crazy to think I could go on without him." She smirked. "And with _you_." She jabbed his left shoulder with her index.

A sense of relief came over Atton, but he was careful not to let it show too much.

"Glad to see you've finally come to your sense," he said with a wry smile.

Revan smiled bitterly. "I suppose I have, Jaq. The dark Lord Revan is the one who loves Jaq Rand… but that's just not who we are anymore, is it, _Atton_?"

The emphasis Revan put on his name reminded Atton of the way Kreia used to do the same, and he smirked. "I guess not, _Liah_."

Revan snickered, stood up and took a step forward. She unexpectedly bent down toward Atton. Startled, he turned his head toward her. Revan had been aiming for his cheek, but her kiss fell onto his lips instead. Both their eyes widened in surprise as their mouths came into contact. Revan, recovering from her surprise first, smiled. She brushed her hand against his cheek, and kissed him again lightly and a tad lingeringly. Atton held his breath and shut his eyes briefly as she drew away.

"Sorry," he heard her say softly. He opened his eyes. Revan was sitting back down on her chair. She looked sheepish, though unapologetic. "I'd always regretted not getting a chance to say goodbye to Jaq Rand. I felt I owed my old self that much."

Atton exhaled. "Yeah." He spoke absent-mindedly. "Sure." He shut his eyes again and bit his bottom lip. A long-forgotten memory flashed to mind. Lord Revan's quarters. Revan glancing up at him. Atton bending his head down and pressing his lips clumsily against hers, the smell of Corellian brandy mingling with the scent of Revan's hair…

He opened his eyes.

"So," he continued, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat. "When are you leaving?"

The light in Revan's eyes faded as she was dragged back to reality. "Soon. Today, I suppose. I'd like to speak to Jena before I go, so I may hold off until she's out of the kolto tank. I've said goodbye to everyone else…" She glanced down to her feet and sighed. "It was hard enough leaving him last time," she whispered. "But at least then I didn't have to see the injured look he had on his face today. This time… I don't know how I'll be able to leave him."

"Then don't," Atton stated, as the ghost of the dark Lord Revan's kiss faded away from his mind again.

Revan frowned and shook her head. "I have to," she breathed.

Atton shrugged. "Then... bring him with you!"

"I can't, Jaq!" she cried. "You of all people should know that, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have let Jena go so easily when she left."

Atton clenched his teeth and his face reddened. "Easily?" he repeated loudly. "_Easily_? Lady, you have _no_ idea what I went through. And neither does Jena . You think it's hard to leave Carth behind? Is that right? Well, how do you suppose _he_ must feel about it? Because not only are you vanishing Force knows where, but you're also casting him aside like a used medpac." He rolled his eyes. "Until, of course, you decide to come back again and pretend nothing's changed."

Revan shot Atton a stony stare. "Does Jena know you feel this way, Jaq?" she asked slowly.

"We're talking about Carth," Atton snapped.

She shook her head. "See, I don't think we are!"

Atton threw his arms up. "Don't you turn this around on me, Revan. Yes, I went through the motions of understanding when Jena left. I had to. But I don't think even _she_ would expect me to understand so well if she left _again_."

"Well, what would you have me do, Jaq?" Revan blurted as she got up. "Sit by and let the Sith take our son away? Or would you rather I risked Carth's life by taking him along with me?"

Atton stood up as well and glared at her. "That's not your decision to make, Revan," he said evenly. He scoffed. "Have you even asked him what _he_ wanted? What if he'd rather take the chance of him dying than sit here and wait for you to come back again, wondering if you ever will? The man went through hell over the past five years, Revan. But, no. You're too selfish to ask him what _he_ wants."

Revan took a step forward. "Selfish?" she cried. "How dare…"

"Yes, selfish!" Atton yelled. "You just want to keep him safe at home so he'll be there when you come back. But who cares how he feels while you're away?"

"That's absolutely untrue!" Revan vociferated. "I…" Her mouth snapped shut and she turned toward the door. "I don't have to take this from you," she fumed. "I only came here to say goodbye and to ask you to take care of Daynn."

"Daynn?" he spat. "You want me to take care of _Daynn_?"

"Why not?" she snapped, turning around. "He's only _your son_! You didn't think I was going to leave him with Carth, did you?" Atton stared at her and she pursed her lips. "Well, I suppose he'll be reasonably safe at the temple with the other Jedi. Until the Sith show up again, that is, of course." She shook her head. "I mistakenly though you wouldn't want your son raised by the Order like Jena and I were." She took a few steps toward the door and paused. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some last minute arrangements to make before I go." Before turning around again, she added, "By the way, the Council wants to see you."

Atton narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, I'll bet it does," he replied gruffly as Revan turned around the corner. "They never did get a chance to officially cast me out of the Order. Plus no doubt they'll want all three of us to answer for the mess we left behind."

Revan appeared back in the doorway. She was frowning, but most of the anger had faded from her features to make room for confusion. "What do you mean," she began slowly, "all three of you?"

Atton shook his head and shrugged. "I mean me, Jena , and Mical, of course. You know, the people involved in the little Sith battle that took place within their temple? They probably want to make sure all three of our stories match up, right? I'm guessing they asked to see me right away, so I wouldn't have time to consult with…" He stopped when he saw something strange in Revan's face, something he could only describe as pity. "What?" he demanded. "What _now_?"

Revan bit her lip. "Frack, Jaq! I thought… I thought you knew… I thought _someone_ told you…" She shook her head. "I just… figured… you didn't say anything because…" Revan's eyes brimmed with tears.

The color drained from Atton's face. "You thought I knew what?" he demanded. "I thought you said that Jena …"

Revan shook her head. "No, no… Not Jena , Jaq. Jena 's fine, like I told you. It's Mical…" She swallowed and a tear rolled down her cheek. She walked back to Atton and she rested her hands on his shoulders. "Mical's dead, Jaq," she whispered.


End file.
